The Miami Dolphins VS Crystal Greer Brooks

Nobody’s Perfect

This week we have the Miami Dolphins VS Crystal Greer Brooks.

Let’s start with the Dolphins. Remember in high school when the freshmen were harassed by the seniors? Well, that fine tradition has been fine tune to a very lucrative extortion business in the Miami Dolphins.

From the Miami Herald:

Young Dolphins players are under pressure to dig deep into their pockets to pay for veterans’ social outings, a practice that is straining their finances and locker room chemistry, according to a source with direct knowledge of the situation. These allegations come on the heels of an ESPN report Sunday morning that Incognito pressured Martin into paying $15,000 for an unofficial team vacation to Las Vegas — a trip that Martin, an offensive tackle, didn’t even join.

One young defensive player, whose privacy the Miami Herald is protecting, is on his way to going broke because he has been unable to say no to the older players, a source said.

“Everything tastes better when rookies pay for it,” veteran defensive end Jared Odrick wrote on Twitter over the weekend. “Yes, the bill would make you sick.”

How nice it that? The younger players are making about $400,000 a year, but they are told to fork up $30,000 for the team dinner. Sometimes the veterans let them split the bill.

The source characterized Dolphins veterans using younger players as ATMs to finance their nightlife whims. These older players have been caught up in the fast-paced Miami lifestyle without the burden of having to pay for it, the source continued.

Gee…sound like anyone you know? (I’ll get to that in a minute.)

And then we have Crystal Greer Brooks, who ran over her boyfriend with his truck three times, all because he didn’t want to go to McDonald’s.

To which a nobody commented: “Three fractured McRibs and a punctured McLung?”

(Nobodies have an excellent sense of humor.)

Hey, I’m all for admitting that McDonald’s is putting chemical addicting adding into their food so that you crave it all—- but Crystal— you were IN his truck, why didn’t you just leave his butt on the side of the road and drive there yourself? Or maybe that restaurant he wanted to go to was Hooters, and you went there LAST week?

Just wondering.

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?

                                  Obama and Congress, of course!

Our American leaders make the Miami Dolphins look like it’s extortion amateur night. Just like the Miami Dolphins, our American leaders are exempting themselves from Obama care, and making the rest of the poor hardworking class nobodies pay for their big meals, their free healthcare, their free vacations,—all while we have to sit at home and watch ESPN on TV munching on our Doritos.

While we eat McDonald’s, they dine on steak, lobster, and $8,000 bottles of wine thanks to the rookies in the lower soon-to-be be- gone middle class looking for an exit route crowd.

And just like the poor rookies who are afraid of losing their jobs, we can’t say “NO” to Obamacare, because we will lose our jobs.

WAIT…everybody is losing their jobs anyway.

So…congratulations are in order American Government! You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week!

That is, if it’s really not your intention to destroy America by extorting humongous taxes on everyone.

If it is your intention, then I’d suggest you call up the Miami Dolphins and ask to be included in the next rookie dinner, and give the rest of us that make well below $400,000 a break.

As for Crystal…maybe Crystal hadn’t eaten in days, due to Obamacare…maybe she just found out she lost her health insurance and would have to go on a diet.

That would explain it.

November 4, 2013 Posted by Joyanna Adams | humor, Obama, Sports, Uncategorized | Humor, Miami Dolphins, Obama | 1 Comment