It’s a Government Crack Conspiracy Rob!

Nobody Knows–

—just why Rob Ford did NOT claim that the video of him smoking crack was a government conspiracy? After all…it worked for Mayor Barry. It worked so well, the public went back to the polls and reelected him as the crack-smoking lovable Mayor of Washington D.C.!

What does that tell you about D.C.? (Politicians must do a LOT of cocaine)

Being as I’m ‘unemployed’ right now…according to the government that doesn’t count me, I had the TV on all day. Every cable news station had us all waiting…for hours and hours, and then a few MORE hours, for the exciting news that another douche-bag politician was caught on tape doing something illegal, and he was expected to speak about his admitted drug use.

But…Rob Ford, the great mayor of Toronto, had a plan, one that politicians use all the time, and that is: Make the world wait. It builds up anticipation and makes you appear important, because all the world is waiting…you must be a great man, why, even the President of the United States would not have gotten a whole day’s attention…

I call it: The Miley Cyrus TWERK YOU plan. When you have no talent to speak of, and get caught grossing people out…MILK the MOMENT! TWERK THEM ALL!

And then, the great Rob, (Who obviously smokes a LOT more weed) said this:

“I was elected to do a job and that’s exactly what I’m going to continue doing,” Ford said. “On Oct. 27 of 2014, I want the people of this great city to decide whether they want Rob Ford to be their mayor” (Notice how he speaks of himself in the third person? As if…he’s not even there?)

Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine,” Ford told reporters earlier outside his office. “There have been times when I’ve been in a drunken stupor. That’s why I want to see the tape. I want everyone in the city to see this tape. I don’t even recall there being a tape or video. I want to see the state that I was in.”

Darn. I was waiting for him to say that some tea party person that had mistakenly been admitted into the country…actually got him drunk, handed him a pipe, and then took out the video. Or even better yet, someone deep in the Canadian government wanted to shame him. DARN.

And then, I read this:

On Tuesday, Ford’s brother, Doug, criticized Police Chief Bill Blair for saying he was “disappointed” in the mayor after police recovered the tape last week. Doug Ford called the chief’s comments “inappropriate” and “biased” and said Blair should step aside.

“We have the most political police chief we have ever seen,” said Doug Ford, an influential city councilor. “The police chief believes he’s the judge, the jury and the executioner.”

Gee…I’m so glad that Rob’s brother Doug was paying attention to the government officials who are doing their best to damn poor Rob Ford.

Nobody Knows, nor can fathom, why all the world’s politicians would fit more easily in East St. Louis than high office, and how they keep getting “elected.”

And Nobody Knows why the American press spent the whole damn day patiently waiting for Rob to show up. And Nobody Wonders if someday we will see a video replay of Marion and Rob together, smoking the great government crack conspiracy together in a hotel room in Rio, where they can claim that it was a right-wing conspiracy initiated by Castro, who is really dead.

As the great Mulder once said—“The truth is out there.” And I for one, can’t wait to see it.

November 5, 2013 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | drugs, politics, Uncategorized | corruption, Crack, Humor, Marion Barry, Rob Ford