Nobody’s Perfect: Miss America VS Cartoon Characters in Times Square

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we don’t have to go any further than that great melting pot of talent called New York.

We have a Nobody’s Perfect contest between the people who dress up as Cartoon Characters in Times Square, VS the newly crowned Miss America, who, you guessed it— is from New York!

This is going to be a tough one.

First: Let’s take the dweebs that harass tourists in Times Square. It seems there are ways to make a living, and there are ways to…make a living and not pay taxes. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Times Square, but since Rudy Giuliani cleaned up the “LIVE SEX ON STAGE!” acts, ALL the men from Wall Street have gone mad…wait….no…. the corporates have moved in and made it a very family friendly experience— you know, a place you can take the kids and watch Batman and Spiderman duke it out…for REAL. Several weeks ago, Spiderman hit a cop, and yes, Batman and Spiderman were arrested for fighting.

Cookie Monster has been known to grab at other things besides cookies.

Since I can’t figure out why Marvel doesn’t sue these people for using their trademarked and copyrighted images, it seems the city of New York has let this go on. But, too many people are showing up dressed as Cartoon Character (70?) and that means too many guys bantering for the same $5.00.

Second: And then you have Miss America…

Kira Kazantsev, the contestant from New York,  won the Miss America contest last night, and everybody today is having trouble understanding why.  In the talent contest she decided to sit on the floor and play…not four, not fifteen, not twenty, but ONE plastic cup. And that was even hard for her.

I couldn’t figure this out. She had a decent voice, WHY distract from it?   You can’t imagine the horror of all New Yorkers…a place that has been known to produce some of the finest talent in the world. And this insult after the fantastic funeral from a REAL New Yorker…Joan Rivers.

I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t make me want to visit Broadway any time soon.

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?

Frankly, I didn’t watch the Miss America contest, so I’m going by the video here. I’m guessing she looked pretty good in her swimsuit, or somebody donated a LOT of money to the right judge. While the rest of America wonders what in the world this girl did in college to learn how to play cups besides drink shots of vodka, we can only wonder why she didn’t just sing the song standing on her feet. Still, there have been worse acts to come out of New York…Hillary Clinton for one.

As for Batman and Spiderman getting in a fist fight in Times Square?

Shame on them. I’m almost tempted to get a plane to New York, dress up as Wonder Woman, and throw them both out of Times Square!

(Ha! Ha!) Sure. Maybe I’ll just follow them around and beat loudly on a plastic cup, while singing “I’m Henry the VII I am!”  and drive them crazy enough that they quit and get a minimum wage job like the rest of us.

So, it’s official—- the Mayor of New York wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week.

Be the draconian progressive that you are Mayor De Blasio, and make these people pay taxes like the rest of us, or let Marvel take them to court.

Didn’t you learn ANYTHING in Russia?

September 15, 2014 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | American Culture, humor, Uncategorized | American Culture, Humor