Dung Beetles VS Donkey Semen
This was a strange week, wasn’t it? It was like we were all forced to drink a full glass of donkey semen chased down with a shot of urine. I would have NEVER thought of that vision, if the TV. program, The Fear Factor, didn’t make it one of its challenges for its contestants. Nobody is going to use it for good measure. So, in honor of the fine minds at The Fear Factor, mental visions will be used to sum up the more absurd events from the past week.
Donkey Semen: Everyone this week was out to pour donkey semen down the throat of Newt Gingrich. He has been so stuffed with the stuff, its foaming out of his mouth. A big spurt came from Bob Dole the OTHER great Republican Presidential loser, who basically just complained about Newt carrying ice buckets around the capital instead of the usual Washington shit, and nobody knew why. His big ethics crime? He took the college course he taught, off on his taxes, something every poor taxpayer in the United States would find reasonable.
Compare that to Nancy Pelosi’s (the last house speaker) vast stock market gains and her personal manipulations of her office, to give herself billions of stock dividends with her power as Speaker, and Newt looks like a little boy stealing a piece of bubble gum, next a woman who just stole the state of Montana. We have MOUNTAINS of donkey semen floating down that woman. (Okay, do NOT picture that.)
And speaking of mountains…
Today, a rich man of Davos, admitted: They are calling Mitt Romney: “The Bartender.” Mitt will pretty much serve up anything you want, they said, and none of them are planning on losing any of their stock dividends: Mitt is the rich man with the Fannie and Freddie stock they hope gets elected: and speaking of rich men with stocks…
Glass of Urine: Everyone who has a car, wondered why in the WORLD would our President veto a harmless gas line from Canada? We were told, it was to please the environmentalists, who worry about what it will do to their moose, not to mention their green stocks, only to find out, that all those visits to the White House by Warren Buffet weren’t because two rich guys wanted to talk about how much they enjoy cheeseburgers.
It seems Obama and Warren struck a deal. Warren will use his trains to ship the gas from Canada, which of course will raise the price of gas by at least 30 cents a gallon as opposed to 5 cents from the pipeline, which will make him richer than Bill Gates, if only Obama would stop it.
To seal this deal, Buffet got his $200,000 dollar a year secretary to come to the State of the Union address and look very sad that she has to pay more taxes than Warren. She not only is helping Obama’s promotion of “tax the rich” (Remember, you can’t touch Warren’s fortunes, he has hidden his riches at Bill Gates House.) but help Obama to get the women voters back on his side…which brings me to..
Donkey Semen: Every feminist on the planet is going to grab this news and run to the bank with it: according to FOX NEWS today: a new spices of DUNG BEETLE has been found, and unlike most spices, this female dung beetle actually has the bigger HORN then the man, and does ferocious battle. Yes, Rachael Maddow can be rest assured, she has evolved from a proud dung beetle. We won’t hear the last of this great Darwinian discovery….
Glass of Urine while lying in a bed of snakes: This hasn’t got into the mainstream news…because the dirty little secret is the men at Davos helped get Obamacare installed, and want it desperately to stay there because of “globalization and overpopulation.”
There was a heartbreaking story of two parents who were trying to get a kidney transplant for their “retarded” child. The great panel of doctors came into the boardroom, and denied the parents the operation, even though someone from the family was going to donate the kidney, BECAUSE…the girl was retarded and not worth saving. It’s reality folks. Read about it here…or not. Frankly, I’d rather read about the next spurt of urine being aimed at Gingrich ….
Donkey Semen: Yes, believe it or not, Mitt Romney ridiculed Newt Gingrich for wanting to go to the moon. He doesn’t know how in the world we can pay for it. “The moon can wait.” said Romney.
Obama has already spent enough money for us to go to the Orion Nebula and back, with nothing to show for it, but Mitt is more concerned with Newt wanting to send people to the moon. Nobody can own the moon he says. And you know who agrees with Mitt?
Glass of Urine: Vladimir Putin.
Vladimir Putin has branded America a nation which ‘wants to control everything’ during a scathing verbal attack on the U.S. (When you’re people don’t like you…blame the U.S. for your poverty..old Russian trick.)
Yes, Vladimir: WE WANT to Control the Moon, and you have to take us there!
Let them each eat a dung beetle in a pile of scorpions, because this Nobody will not be coming back if I got on Newt’s flight to the moon.
Right now Iran is killing bloggers who “spread corruption.” It’s only a matter of time before that glass of urine spreads…and this Nobody has spread enough dung to last a lifetime on this blog.
Our President Obama just signed a UN treaty to control the internet…and who controls the UN?
You’re right! Arabian Dung Beetles, and Snakes! In fact, rumor has it, the United Nations is the real inspiration for The Fear Factor. As for Obama, he leads the nation in stuffing donkey semen down just about every open orifice on the planet.
And I just realized…I’d better end this before I try to elaborate on the finer points of semen. Somebody in Dallas, is still looking for Debbie.