Nobody’s Email: Laws of Logic

Nobody Flashes Email

If you can find anything that is NOT true about any of these laws, let me know. Anyone who has lived long enough, knows they are absolutely true.

And feel free to add any of your own…

Law of Mechanical Repair–After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

Law of Gravity—Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers–If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Surpermarket Law–As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

Variation Law–If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath–When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters–The Probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result–When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics–The severity of the inch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena–At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the isle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also very surly folk.

The Coffee Law–As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers–If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces–The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument–Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. (Also known as the Nancy Pelosi Law)

Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance–If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking–A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy–As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctor’s Law–If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor by the time you get there you’ll feel better….But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

(Thank to my liberal friend JR, who ALSO added: If you don’t forward this, your belly button will unscrew and your butt will fall off.)

Nobody Notes that my friend JR uses the Law of Logical Argument every chance he gets. That’s why we just email each other. If we met in person, we’d be on the nightly news

December 14, 2013 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | humor, Uncategorized | Humor