Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

The Most Memorable— “Stick Foot in Mouth” —Quotes of 2013

Nobody’s Perfect

Some people just put their foot in their mouths every other day. And some people actually THINK before they speak. I’ve done more of the former than the latter. For instance, once after I had played and sang at a funeral for a friend who had lost his mother… Jesse (that actually was his name) went out of his way to thank me sincerely for making the day so special: And I said in my most sincerest voice—“I’d be happy to sing at any future family funerals Jesse.”foot in mouth

What I MEANT was: Anytime you need me, to do it again, just call, but whoa…he took it to mean, I couldn’t wait for his whole family to drop dead. Not what I was trying to say that…but to this day, I don’t trust myself when I speak…my brain goes faster than my mouth, and I’m totally bored with whatever I was thinking, on to the next thought I go, and my mind is usually on another subject by the time I get to the second word. Which means, I’m not paying a bit of attention to what I’m saying.

(Anybody else have that problem?) We’ve all been there. And THIS year, the media has published the most famous quotes of the year, many of us would like to forget, including the people who said them. Listed below are the “not so perfect” and then a few gems. My Nobody’s Perfect column fits perfectly with the last day of the year. Imperfection is at least one thing that we truly do, all have in common.

The Not So Perfect Quotes of 2013.

“My father had a ranch. We used to hire 50 to 60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes.”Alaska Republican congressman Don Young

I missed that one. I think it would be a good name for a football team. Wetbacks. Maybe the Indians would feel better about the Redskins.

“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But … am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors.”…Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.Rob Ford

Nobody bothered to ask Rob how MANY drunken stupors Bob has had. But then again, it’s Canada, where everybody is drunk most of the time because the beer tastes better there.  He’s perfect for them.

I can give assurances to the public’s in Europe and around the world that we’re not going around snooping at people’s emails or listening to their phone calls.”President Barack Obama

B.S. —Before Snowden

“Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.” Joe Biden

This proves that Dick Cheney could break into Joe’s house, no problem.Joe Biden shoots

“There is overwhelming evidence that the Tea Party is the home of bigotry and discrimination in America today, just as the KKK was for an earlier generation. If the hood fits, wear it.”U.S. Representative Alan Grayson (D-Florida)

I have a hood?

“I think we disproportionately stop whites too much and minorities too little.” New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg

The most intelligent thing ever uttered by a New York Mayor.

“If you like your health care plan, you can keep it.”President Barack Obama

He didn’t really say that. What his mind was thinking is: You can’t keep your plan, I am getting rid of it, it’s just that my mouth wasn’t listening to my thoughts…

“embrace the suck.”

Nancy Pelosi telling the world, that we are going to be sucked dry of everything. And she sucks. Good to know.

“I didn’t set a red line. The world set a red line.” President Barack Obama

And then, it crossed it again and again, amazingly not disturbing the many flights of Air Force One.  Maybe he got confused. Obama has crossed too many red lines to count. In fact, I think he could be color blind, and everything is black and white. There IS no red.

“I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation, based on assurances they got from me”- President Barack Obama

No he’s not.

“What difference, at this point, does it make?”- Hillary Clinton

The difference it makes, is you want to be President.

“Not everyone is going to be able to be a combat soldier, but everyone is entitled to a chance” Leon Panetta

Hey, I’m a woman….can I try out for the New York Yankees? I understand I won’t even have to warm up!

“If you’re not getting a call from a terrorist organization, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Lindsey GrahamRino Graham

I get calls from the government all the time: I’m worried.

“The era of the lawn in the West is over.”  Paul Robbins, director of the Nelson Institute of Environmental Studies. at the University of Wisconsin.

Congress is exempt from this one too. All Congressmen and women’s lawns WILL be watered. Daily.

“Hold the burgers, hold the fries, make our wages supersize.!” NY city fast food workers.

Well, then go do what the CEO’s do…demand your salary be paid to you in corporate stock, and leave my dollar menu alone.fast food strkers

“I was Hannah Montana’s mother…Where did I go wrong?” Brooke Shields

Where every mother goes wrong: It’s all about the hair. Did you tell her the cut was all wrong for her?

The Perfect Quotes:

“I don’t want to live in a world where everything that I say, everything I do, everyone I talk to, every expression of creativity or love or friendship is recorded.” —-Edward Snowden.

I don’t either Edward…thanks.Edward Snowden

“Twenty years from now, if there is some obscure Trivial Pursuit question, I am confident I will be the answer.”— Ted Cruz.

And thanks to you, I WILL remain the King of the Trivia Pursuit in my family: Green eggs and ham.

“Some of us feel like we are in a circular firing squad.”—– GOF P Virginia, Shelley Moore Capitol

The shutdown insanity….where local people survived but GOP representatives. Got shot with Obama bullets of blame for something he caused. Welcome to our world Ms. Moore.

“It does give you a perspective on humanity…they just came in, they helped, and they left.” —Boulder resident Kim Schuler after the epic flooding in Colorado.

Boulder resident find out white (probably republicans) humans are actually kind and good, and are great to have around in a crisis. Who knew?

 “Obamacare is really the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. It is slavery, in a way.”— Neurosurgeon Ben Carson

Dear Ben: Please run for President. Congress is in dire need of a major brain surgeon. Ben Carson

“So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will,’” wrote comedian Patton Oswalt on Facebook after the Boston bombing.

Taken without political correctness…one of the best quotes of the year.

“The Fed manages what has become the biggest transfer program to the rich, channeling cheap credit to the government and big business. It comes at the expense of small businesses where most fit entry-level jobs are created. The fed has gained colossal new discretionary powers to micromanage the whole financial system. The Fed gives it whatever money it wants. It comes under no congressional control.. This is all blatantly unconstitutional but that matters less and less these days.” —Steve Forbes

Steve Forbes: A rich man we can trust. See? There are good rich men! Rejoice! Obama is making sure you don’t see them. But..they ARE out there. We’re not finished yet.Steve Forbes

Nobody Notes: I really hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year’s celebration!

My advice: Don’t drink and talk. You might end up here next year.

UPDATE: WAIT…let’s add one more favorite quote:

                  “Just remember, the harder they squeeze, the more we’ll slip through their fingers.” snopercod

December 30, 2013 Posted by | American History, humor, politics, Uncategorized | , , , | 2 Comments

   

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