Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Flashes: Reader’s Digest Jokes

Nobody Flashes

As promised, a day away from the gloom and doom of the world… and simply humor.

Here’s a few jokes out of that poor man’s bathroom entertainment, the Reader’s Digest:

(Thanks to RD)

Mortified doesn’t describe how Jane’s parents felt after meeting her boyfriend. He sported vile tattoos, swore and just had a hostile air about him.

After he left, the mother said, “Dear, he doesn’t seem like a very nice person.”

“Mom.” Jane said. “If he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?” —American Legion Magazine.Laughing horses

Four guys are driving cross-country each from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York. Shortly after the trip begins, the man from Idaho starts pulling potatoes from his bag and throwing them out the window.

“What the heck are you doing.” asks the man from Nebraska.

“We have so many of these things in Idaho, I’m sick of look at them!”

So the guy from Nebraska begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the windows.

So the Floridian ask, “What are you doing that for?”

“We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I’m sick of looking at them.”

Inspired, the man from Florida opens the car door and pushes the New Yorker out.

New arrivals at the Pearly Gates are comparing stories on how they died.

First woman: “I froze to death.”

Second woman: “I had a heart attack. I suspected my husband with cheating, so I came home early to catch him. I found him alone, but I was sure there was a woman there somewhere. I ran all over the house looking, from the attic to the basement, in every closet and under every bed. Finally I keeled over, dead.”
First woman: “Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer–we’d both still be alive.”

April 12, 2015 - Posted by | humor |

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