Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Get Up OFF of THAT THING…Because God Tells You To— Idiot.

Nobody Cares

Wow. I HAVE been in a funk lately. This week I tore a hole in Rush Limbaugh, Obama, Glenn Beck, and let’s not forget the Pope. Okay. You could blame it on the weather. It’s been flooding here, and I have not been able to swim FOR A WHOLE WEEK! Doesn’t God realized that I wait the whole winter just for the moment when I can go swimming in his glorious sunshine? WTF is it with all this rain?

Is Moscow controlling our weather?

Okay. I can’t complain about God. While I wish understandably that I would win the Powerball so that I could buy my OWN pool, heated, ever ready, God always just sends me what he thinks I need. For instance….One Christmas I really needed exactly $1500.00. Part of that would go to Christmas presents for my son, part of it for medical expenses. And sure enough, God came through. While trying to get on the highway one day, one of those massive tractor trucks came zooming around the corner at about 50 MPH, and I was NOT about to get in front of that baby, so I stopped.

The lady behind me who was accelerating to get on the highway, ran right into the back of me. I’m sorry…I had to pick the lesser of the two evils…death by a 50-ton truck, or a fender bender. But hey! As I told her, “Last time I looked, in Missouri, if someone hits you from behind it’s THEIR fault.” (You can imagine how she reacted to that statement)

I love it. The damage to my car was so minor, I didn’t even fix it. BUT…her insurance paid me a nice check of…you guessed it EXACTLY $1500.00.crazy

Thank you God.

And you all know I sometimes get carried away with my own gloom. I blame this on my mother, who woke up every single morning...depressed about the world. Talk about the cup half empty…to my mother there WAS no cup. She was pouring acid water filled with the dead souls of a million dead bumper baby regrets down a black hole, every single day.  I’m surprised I even survived my childhood. To be fair, it wasn’t her fault. She had genetically inherited this gloom from her ancestors…and passed it on to me, and I’ve given it to my son.

Truly, it wasn’t our fault.

It’s a good think John and John Quincy had good jobs, THEIR sons did not even find a cup to climb into. And in that respect, I’ve been lucky. God has always thrown me a line.

I was getting so down after this last incident in Charleston, that I just had to get out today. So I put on my windbreaker, my worst tennis shoes, and sloshed through the rain. I had been trying to figure out how to get myself out of this funk, and then I read in a book that you must soar above yourself and see what’s ticks you off…to recognizes your ‘push’ buttons…

Hey—have you listened to the news lately? OMG. Give me a cup to THROW at somebodies head! My buttons are pushed out. Do NOT reset them.

But…God came through just in time today: For some damn reason, on the bookshelf at my local library was a P.J. O’Rourke book: One dollar. What a bargain. And reading upon this, as I stood dripping from the rain… I came to this passage:

Consider it a God moment—if you please…humor me.

Let us, for the space of this book, quit worrying and go take a look at what we are worrying about. And let us take a look not only at the worry but at the place where the worry is happening, the context within which the worry occurs, and the people who are doing the worrisome thing or having done it to them. And let us keep in mind about these people that, whatever their language, culture, or religion, whatever peculiar thing they are wearing through their nose, whatever caliber item they have pointed at our head, they are people , too. They are just as dumb, stinky, and ridiculous as we are.

And worry itself is fairly pointless. Worrying is a futuristic matter. About that future, Sydney Smith said almost two centuries ago, “We know nothing of tomorrow: our business is to be good and happy today.” To worry is an act of sublime ignorance. However, we can guess a few truths on the subject. One is that the usual solutions proffered for the usual worries are usually wrong.

I love it when God talks to me. Combine this with the movie I just watched about James Brown, and he is downright being the God he always turns out to be. He gives me just what I need, when I need it.

And so, picture if you can…ME. Dancing and singing..”Get up off of that thing, Dance and you’ll feel better.”

And I did. And I DO! Maybe God wants me to make this a morning ritual. (Ya think?)

God bless James Brown, P.J.O’Rourke, and whatever power in the universe who keeps…filling my cup up when I just run out of gas.

Tell me he doesn’t exist, and I’ll show you WHY you should never mess with a hummingbird.

Enjoy!

June 19, 2015 - Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. There’s just no just way a person can stay depressed while listening to the Godfather of Soul! I turned that video up loud just now but for some reason, my dog ran and buried her head in a pile of dirty laundry. Racist dog!

    Like

    Comment by snopercod | June 20, 2015 | Reply


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