Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Flashes Blogging News!

I just wanted to tell everyone here that I’m sitting in for the incomparable conservative blogger Doug Powers this week..until he gets back from Las Vegas…

Which may be never! (just kidding…He is expected back on Monday)

Come on over and put in your two cents!

http://dougpowers.com

March 4, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers | 6 Comments

Jane Russell: MORE than a Sex Goddess

Nobody Reports– that a great sex icon passed away today, and I think we ought to at least mention the fact that she once described herself as — ‘a teetotal mean-spirited Right-wing conservative Christian bigot’.
 
They don’t make women like that anymore.
 
I first saw her in “Gentlemen Prefer Blonds” (yeah guys…I know you remember her in THE OUTLAW– go ahead…) and I thought to myself, that if there was one woman who could hold her own against the most famous sex goddess of all time, it was Jane Russell, and not just because of her special body parts. There was real intelligence in those eyes. Jane played the “smart” gal from little Rock in that movie.. against the dumb blond, and if I was a man and had to pick between the two to be a mother of my children… it would have been the one with brains.
 
DNA is important…just ask Charlie Sheen. (Wait…bad example…how about Secretariat?)
 
Not that Marilyn was stupid, far from it. Anyone who could act that stupid was near genius as far as I was concerned…she was just more messed up.
 
But, Jane had a rough life too, it seems. Married three times, and divorced twice. She couldn’t have children due to a botched abortion at the age of eighteen, so she adopted three of her own. Later on in life she helped set up an International Adoption Agency so people here could adopt from other countries. She was against all abortions after her own, the rest of her life. She almost died, from the procedure.
 
Once she was asked what she thought of Hollywood liberals such as George Clooney, Susan Sarandon, and Sean Penn, she said, “I think they’re not well.”
 
Now, that’s class.
 
Just for fun—-imagine Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell (looking as they did in this 1953 picture) coming down the steps of the Oscars in 2011…and presenting the award for best costume? Or better yet—Supporting Actor?
 
Christian Bale would not only have forgotten his wife’s name, but probably his own. Is it me? Or did the old sex goddesses look more…real and…fun…and alive?
 
As for the other picture? I just thought we needed a more current picture of a famous derriere.
 
 Joyanna—you are classless for showing that picture of our First Lady! You know what? I bet Jane would get a big kick out of it—this one’s for you Jane!
 
 
You did us proud.
(P.S….Have Hugh Make You another Bra)

March 1, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers | | 3 Comments

Nobody’s Perfect: Charlie Sheen VS The Oscars

Nobody’s Perfect: This week, we have a contest that isn’t even close, at least in my mind. Charlie the “Adonis DNA” Sheen, VS The Oscars.
***
Let’s start with the Oscars: Everyone was complaining about what a bomb it was, but really…considering the list of movies, I’d say they did a lot with nothing—which is pretty much what Hollywood is all about. Putting up pictures of “Gone With the Wind” was a BIG mistake. Let’s compare the movie of the year 2011, “The Kings’ Speech” to Gone with the Wind.
***
Right. Let’s all remember just how far we have come!
***
The highlights of the show was the short flick at the beginning, but it went downhill from there. We will all remember the dresses, the lame jokes, the standing ovation to Billy Crystal (remember, these people have no class) and Billy Crystal telling everyone how Bob Hope gave him the finger.
***
My respect for Bob Hope just skyrocketed.
***
Red dirty-looking hair was in: cussing…still in: men dressing up in drag..still in: and tasteless songs about Australians not dancing..still tasteless: and my very favorite memory was when Christian Bale forgot his wife’s name.  He finally gets his due, and then forgets his wife. Drudge had it up, then took it down- fast.
***
 
Nobody Remembers the good old days, when Johnny Carson actually had GOOD writers. I really suspect the writing has been outsourced to India. They should have just ask the audience to tweet them some jokes.  We would have gladly waited.
***
But that was nothing compared to the ongoing imperfections of Charlie Sheen.
***
Have you ever seen such a supreme example of egomania outside of Washington D.C.?
***
Charlie Sheen has done more porn stars than Hugh Hefner if he had lived twenty lifetimes.
***
Charlie’s act isn’t new. Hollywood is filled with these people, but Charlie is the king. He is a drug addicted, sex addicted, bloviated, human excrement bag of walking frisky powder, who is right now, in pain (from addiction withdrawals) and screaming bloody murder because a drug addict’s life is expensive, and he just got cut off. He might be “dry” for all of a month, but don’t expect it to last. He’s addicted to porn, drugs, and himself, not necessarily in that order.
***
So what does he do? Like most megalomaniacs, when they are caught red- handed doing something really bad, he goes on the offense. He puts the ball back in the people he abused court. According to Charlie, his life is his own, and they have no right to fire him. From their point of view, when you almost die of an overdose, the bosses have to reconsider, don’t they?
***
Charlie now wants $3 million an episode.
***
I once turned on his show for a few minutes..and frankly, the local drunk on the corner would be more appealing. But that’s it. I don’t’ watch it because I don’t think he is a talented as his dad, and…he’s boring. But, somebody is watching it, and so what? Somebody is watching Human Target too, and good thing you are not in that time slot, Charlie.
***
Charlie talks about “violent love” and “passion” and then when asked how much crack he used to take in one go Sheen said: ‘I was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll.”
***
Yeah, he rolls all right— pornagraphic cocaine marbles are clunking in his head, and by the looks of him, even when he sleeps.
***
He is telling America that they were trying to kill his family because they were taking away his salary, but when they asked why he spends so much money on cars and houses he said: ‘Blame the studio for giving me this much dough when they knew who they were giving it to. This is on them’.
***
At least he didn’t blame it on Bush.
***
But, here’s what I really think. Charlie was fired for going on Alex Jones’ radio program. Alex Jones believes 9/11 was more involved than the official story, and so does Charlie Sheen.
That’s what put him on the “out” list in Hollywood..not his porn, his drugs, his ego,..but…his politics.
***
That’s my Nobody’s Opinion.
 
So, Charlie–take a lesson from that other famous x-drug addict, Robert Downy Jr., who actually said some funny things at the Oscars, making fun of himself AS an ex-druggie. Or call up Hugh and offer him your services. Better hurry…the Oscar for porn king will be up for grabs soon! That’s a part your Adonis DNA is fit to die for…

February 28, 2011 Posted by | drugs, Entertainers | , | 5 Comments

Nobody’s Perfect: Christina Aguilera’s Gets Hit by Ramparts of “What?”

Nobody’s Perfect: According to most Americans, (at least the hand-picked ones on TV) Christina Aguilera’s most imperfect moment was forgetting the words while singing the National Anthem at the SuperBowl. They found it…downright insulting. But, guess what? This nobody watched her sing it and did not catch it, because I was just trying to find the melody.You’d think that MOI…a professional singer for over thirty years, would have caught it.

Nope. I knew something was funny, but hey, aren’t we all used to this by now? I still don’t understand a word Mick Jaguar says when he sings, but it really doesn’t matter does it? Ever since “Louie, Louie” America has been in a “Who cares, let’s dance!” mode.

I am still amazed at how singers like Christina Aguilera and Mariah Carey can make up notes right out of thin air that sound nothing like the song at all. It’s one of the reasons I never got into jazz. I just can’t find the melody. After years in the music business, growing up on the Beatles and Beethoven, and Elvis, and my parent’s Benny Goodman, the Latin music, sounds of Herb Albert, and the Motown classics, I was trained to LOOK for the melody. Like a person’s height and weight, it’s the backbone of the song.

Then the art of improvising became popular…and with it…jazz. Miles Davis…I’m sorry. He sounded like a sick cow looking for a hole to die in. Everyone said he was a genius,, but I always thought it was…well, I call jazz a sort of musical masturbation. These musicians go into their own world of “Ooooooo… feel it, I’m expresssioning my inner mojo, I’m an artieessst…watch me..oooo…pass the joint man, here it comes!”

(sorry, I get carried away)

The popular black singers took jazz into their vocals. Mariah Carey came on the block, knocked Whitney Houston back into drugs, and THEN Christina Aguilera has to try to out vocalized Mariah Carey, and we are left going “What song is this now?” They all start out on the first note, and then by the time they are finish it’s usually a different song.

And that’s what threw me. I actually think she was trying so hard to make up notes and hit them on key that the notes became more important for her than the words. Not to mention, maybe she had a bad Taco at lunch— that will do it to anyone.

Take it from a “singer” who had to try to imitate this stuff— Christina is a master at it…the problem is, she is so good you can actually understand what she is saying, unlike many of the other popular singers of her day. And so, when she makes a mistake, it sticks out.

To her credit she apologized and that makes her, a class act. Aguilera said,:

“I got so lost in the moment of the song that I lost my place. I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.”

NOBODY’S PERFECT: Next time Christina…sing it straight. You can put in a few of those colorful runs up and down the scale, and hit that high note at the end…..but REMEMBER…
This is ONE song to be sung by a nation…it’s not just about you and whomever you are trying to impress that you really ARE the queen of vocal aerials acrobats.

We already know you can sing…it’s just that it’s the National Anthem…the words DO have meaning, even if they are ramparts.

February 8, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers, Sports | , | 7 Comments

Nobody Flashes Old Rock Stars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnPINGavPP0

Nobody Flashes-

 I needed a break from Cairo burning…how about you?

February 2, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers | | Leave a comment

MSNBC VS High Schools Girls

Nobody’s Perfect:

This week we have a tie, between a “flock” of high school girls beating up a Wendy’s employee and MSNBC .

First: What do you do when Oprah moves to cable and you have nothing else to do? You get all your sisters together and go hang out at Wendys, have a food fight, and beat up the person behind the counter!

It’s even better if it makes the news. (see video)

So, when a gang of black high school girls beat up a ‘white’ person, who was just doing her job, is that a race crime? Or a hate crime? Or a ‘You did NOT dare ask me to give up my french fries!’ crime?  (I’m assuming she was white. She has RED hair..but then, she could be Mexican..they are not sayng. But, odds are, she was NOT black. )

Let’s have a beer garden and discuss it. Why do high school girls feel like beating up on people?

(Why did the duck cross the road? Why did Rahm Emanuel cut off his finger at Taco Bell?)

What? Girls will be girls? These girls need a name. The Beater Burgers Sisters? The Shake and Smash Your Head Wolverines? The, Give Me Yo’ Mama Club?

Well, I hate to say it, but it brings back not- too- fond memories of my high school days…where I was threatened by a “gang” of over thirty ‘white’ girls. Cornered in the hall, I was saved by a big bruiser of a guy who stood between them and me.

My crime? The gang leader’s boyfriend had kissed me (without my permission, I might add) at a party.

Gangs have been around probably since the first ice age. But, really…attacking a poor service person, for no reason whatsoever, steeps to a new low.

Obama will start an “Investment for High School Gangs” I’m sure. They need a place where they can gather and throw food at bags of tax-payer’s money. That should keep them out of Wendys.

Fast Food Nation now…needs a sequel: FAST FOOD GANGS—Forget the fat, beware the BULLIES!”

 

Second: MSNBC is replacing Kieth Olbermann with some guy called “The Young Turk”.

You’re kidding.

MSNBC is trying to promote the “Muslim “race. ( I have no idea if this guy is Muslim, but it doesn’t matter does it?) No matter WHAT you might think of Kieth Olbermann, you must admit, he is full of flair, and of himself, and has a certain presence that as sheer entertainment, is not to be ignored.

Maybe it was that patriotic American Eagle that Keith used at the beginning of his show that they just couldn’t take anymore.

Cenk, (Well, there’s a household name for ya. ) says he is after FOX News. “They think they can’t be beat.” he says.

NOBODY SAYS: MSNBC…good luck. You made a politically correct choice, and it’s another fine mess you’ve made, but I think it’s a good one for the rest of us.

MSNBC will need to put about ten beautiful and busty women on with “The Turk” to even get an audience in Dubai.

And just when we all thought that nobody could be any less perfect than Keith Olbermann, nature proved us wrong.

Or maybe…this is a conspiracy soon to be hatched. There are rumors that Keith is going to FOX, where he will become best friends with Bill O’Reilly.

And if that happens, we can all feel safe.

(Just kidding…if that happens I’m calling Jesse Ventura.. because I’m not perfect.)

January 25, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers, Life, politics | , , | 2 Comments

Nobody Questions George Lucas

 

Nobody’s Fool:
What do you do when some comedian comes out and tells the world that you, the greatest marketing mogul in the world, is convinced that the world is going to end in 2012?
Well, if your George Lucas, you do NOT have to put up a famous finger and say “No, I did NOT have sex with that nuclear scientist!”… no…you get your PR department to release a denial that is so great it should be put up on e-bay and sold to the Obama team of propagandists for the democratic playbook of “How to deny anything and get away with it.”
George Lucas is Nobody’s Fool. “He was not serious when he talked about the end of the world in 2012 but he is an adamant believer that the world is flat, that Stonehenge was built by aliens, and that the sun revolves around the Earth,” Hale said. “These are among the many subjects he commonly discusses at length with Elvis, who he’s going to digitally insert into Indy 5 along with a roster of famous dead actors.”

 A fine answer if ever there was one.

But…according to Seth Rogen, a comedian who listened to over a half hour of dire Lucas warning about the upcoming destruction of the earth..by tectonic plates moving around,..I am really wondering…does he really believe it? And more importantly, what does he know that we do not?
Mmmmm….
He might have something here. As you can see from this picture of the disintegrating Islands of the World in Dubai…plates ARE shifting…along with an awful lot of sand.
 
Nobody Notes that anyone who ever heard the tale of the three little pigs can tell you that building multimillion dollar islands made up of foreign and very poor construction workers on man-made islands IN the middle of the Ocean…might not work too well.
Most of us nobodies in the world thought, “Oh, that’ll work.”
But, let’s just say…it wasn’t those poor underpaid slaves of globalization’s fault. Let’s say, the plates are shifting, and he’s right.
In that case, I have one question to ask Mr. Lucas.
 
Nobody: Gee Mr. Lucas, if you are correct that means that we have less than a year to live, and SINCE you are NOT going to need all that money…and SINCE redistribution is the new popular fashion, then perhaps you could find it in your heart to buy me this Super yacht.
It’s for SALE! For only $75 million!
After all, somebody is going to have to stay here on earth while you and Spielberg fly away on your spaceships.
Al Gore says Greenland will be destroyed…but SOMEBODY has to save that poor Shtick of Dubai (see picture) who has the only house left standing in the Island of Greenland, in the World of his sinking Dubai. I’m sure the ruler of Dubai will be glad to see my yacht pulling in to save his sorry …(put in your favorite body part here) and I will be sure and tell him, next time he wants to go building islands in the sand, he should contact YOU first, and finance the next George Lucas :”It’s the end of the universe but Yoda will be there to guide us.”…movie.
 
2012 needs a sequel..don’t you think? Mars tectonic plates are moving as we speak.

January 21, 2011 Posted by | Entertainers | , , , , | Leave a comment

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