True Love Stories
Nobody Remembers….
Do you remember the first true love of your life? I was thinking about this today…I remember a year before my mother died, she made a request to me…would I find out where Herbert was? He was her first true love. Her first husband. All those years with my father 40 years of marriage, and she never mentioned him once. Although, I did see some old photographs of him in his uniform with a lovely signature: To Janet, my love always, it said.
They were married…very young, and then the war broke out.
My father had been dead for over 40 years, so I was struck by the news, and the desperation she was in to find him. She never told me about him, but I could tell, she had loved him more than my father just by the way she mentioned his name. Like the old lady on the Titanic, Rose, she remembered, and never told a soul, until me, her daughter, until that night.
As she laid in her bed, wearing her flowered printed nightgown, holding her cup of ice, she told me the story of how Herbert had been injured in the Pacific where he served on a ship in WWII. He was in a hospital bed in California, and she was only 18, but she booked a train ticket to travel from St. Louis to San Franscisco where he was laid up. She told me how frightened she was. She was just a bit of a girl, only 4 feet 5 inches. Some of the soldiers were rather…rude.
It must have been scary for a young woman to travel all that way alone by train, but women have done much the same in history. John Quincy Adams wife, Louisa, traveled alone through Russia to get to her beloved during the winter, in a carriage. That’s a LONG trip, and back then for an English woman traveling alone, very dangerous.
Love will make you do that.
When she got there, a priest came out and took her aside before she went into the room.
“Whatever you do” he told her. “Do NOT give him a divorce. Don’t do it. He will push you, but don’t do it.” Mom told me the priest begged her not to do it. “No matter what he says.” The Priest was firm. And adamant.
When she went inside, her beloved told her he wanted a divorce, go home. Never see him again. He must have been very cruel.
She cried and cried, and refused to leave, but what she didn’t know, is that HER father had somehow called Herbert and convinced him to force her to divorce him. For some reason, maybe because of whatever injury he suffered, he thought, because he loved her, that it was the best thing to do for her.
My grandfather wanted MY mother to take care of him in his old age. At least that’s what my mother told me when she was 77. He was the real cause of the breakup.
So, to my surprise, I found Herbert. He had a farm in Southern Missouri, with a wife and seven grown children. He was still alive!
I left a message, but he never called back. I could tell, my mother was pretty sad about it.
True love. Sad ending. Most people have it as their first love.
In my case, I had a simple crush on a Priest’s son named Christopher in grade school. We were both five. In fact, the middle name I gave my only son was Christopher.
He hates it. (LOL)
We held hands in the auditorium during Christmas movies. He gave me a ring. I would look at it for hours. Back then, the teachers thought it was cute. Now? It would be considered some sort of crime. We sat there happy as little turtle doves. I felt so special, and surely God was blessing me. It was wonderful.
My husband that I am married to now, his first true love was his first wife. He joined the Navy Seals and when he was in Panama, she got together (had sex) with his best friend in Virginia Beach. This was when she had a small baby daughter in the next room by her husband who was away.
The devastation he felt was unbearable. His best friend, the wife he loved.
How did I know she was his first love? A wife knows these things. She was beautiful, young, and when we ran into her one day by chance. He fell completely apart.
You don’t do that…if you’re not still in love.
I was older, and got married, he used to come hear me sing in a hotel. He was looking for a way to take his daughter away from her, and I had a son, a house to live in, and the judge looked at me, gave us custody of his daughter, and said to ME…”Good luck.”
But the judge knew…he had seen this before.
We have been married now for 31 years.
But was he my true love? I ask myself now.
Was it mostly sex?
And what does true love feel like?
How do you know?
I will tell you…when you feel true love, you see their face everywhere. You think of them every minute…you cry, you laugh, and the most joyful part of your day is when you are near them. You hope, you plan, your dream…You only want the best for them, and if that would mean giving them up, then so be it. Your heart aches when you are not with them.
Herbert must have loved my mother very much. BUT he should have NEVER listened to her father. He should have told him to go to hell.
Of course, I would not be alive to write this, so..there’s that. But I would not have been born either, and I am now, only finding my real true love not too much younger than my mother when she remembered her husband.
And I met him online.
Life is cruel, but…
Sometimes, true love, means loving yourself enough to feel you are worthy of the true love that comes to you.
Grab hold of it with all your heart. Because…you only live once, and true love only comes once.
Am I right?
I hope you have experienced true love in your life, and even if my true love, never wants me, does a Herbert someday, at least I can say, I experienced the thrill of what it feels like to REALLY love so deeply another human being. And we did nothing wrong.
It’s written in the stars…some things are just meant to be.
Love is the answer. If you find it, grab it…and never let it go.
Or you’ll end up like my mother, lying in your bed late at night, with sadness you will carry to your grave.
By the way, I’ve told my husband, and he thinks…it’s just a silly…true love?
To him, it’s like a cold. It will pass.
(Now, If only I had a diamond necklace…I really don’t think I would throw it away. LOL)
Tell Her…She’s Pretty. It’s like Money in the Bank.
I recently came upon this discussion with Jordan Peterson about how some husbands, out of fear or control, never tell their wives they are pretty. Recently, I fell into a real duldrum. Every night my husband would come home, tired from working and the days stresses, and all he wanted to do was watch movies.
Sometimes hours on end. This was…our life.
This sitting around and doing nothing but being a couch potato basically was hard on me. Low thyroid, no gall bladder, I gained so much weight, I couldn’t fit into my old clothes anymore. I stopped buying clothes. I had two pairs of jeans, that I wore the whole winter.
And then, one day, I fell in love with a man online. It was innocent I thought. He called me beautiful. Now, sure, it might have been BS, but just because some man had noticed me, I instantly lost 20 pounds. I felt young again. I danced again.
I realized that couples, after so many years, can take each other for granted. You have to work to keep excitement going…both parties. After listening to Jordan, I then realized that all the years I had been married to my husband, I was kept in a sort of prison. We sometimes went out to eat. But that was it. And he always acted as if he didn’t care WHAT I looked like, using that as a way to get out of ever saying ‘You look pretty tonight.”
I can write this, because he has never read a post that I have ever written. And I have written at least 600 to 700 words a night for over 24 years. He didn’t care really. He loved his movies.
So…Jordan is right. Couples should keep their sex lives going, but not make it the only thing. Joy of being together, sharing pain, sharing stories, comforting…all the things you do for someone you love.
And support is the most important.
When a woman takes a lot of time to make herself up for you, guys, best to say something. In my life I have found that compliments to the one you love, even small ones like “I LOVE your laugh” ensure that that woman will stay with your forever.
We all want love. We all want to be told that love is forever.
According to Jordan, marriage is the key, becuase then when you get in a fight, you have promised to NEVER leave. To always work things out. If you are not married, you can just leave.
Divorce has given us a nation of really messed up kids. Porn is not good either.
And as Elon Musk says: we need more kids. Marriage is the greatest place to raise them. Single moms, lets fact it, some do a great job, but we do have a generation of fatherless children. And we see the results of that every day.
Anyway, that’s my two sense on the matter.
Will I forgive my husband for making sure no other man stole me away, but never giving me compliments or keeping me in a house watching movies forever?
Yes, I can forgive. But, that man online…he has helped me realize that I can be more…a
And I’ve never even met him.
In the meantime guys, take Jordan’s advice…it needs to be heard.
Tell her you love her. Whenever you can.
Nobody Wins in Divorce
Nobody Wins
Divorce is an ugly word. There are not many people living in the United States who do not know someone who is divorced, or have been divorced themselves. Divorce is like labor. A woman can’t explain how painful labor is to a man, and nobody can really explain how painful divorce is…you just have to experience it to know. And most who go through it, never want to do it again.
So, if you have never been divorced, consider yourself blessed, because after the “sexual revolution” it was all the rage. It almost seemed a backlash to the ‘feminist revolution’, in which woman thought that they were coming up into the world as equals, only to find that the lawyers saved the men with “No-fault” divorce. The men said, “So..you want to be equal! Okay then, you’re on your own!” That was the poor girl.
The rich girl got rich lawyers, and the men lost everything. Nobody won but the lawyers.
There were millions of women left with kids to raise, and men running from child support, like a rabbit runs from a dog. . And how can you blame the men? When all of a sudden,..it was all about the “woman’s body” and her choice to abort or not. A man, had no say.
I have often wondered if the feminist movement didn’t help jump start the crazy “welfare” system because men were not going to get married anymore…why should they? With morality out the door, everyone was getting sex for ‘free.’ And then you had the drugs.
And the women could have free sex too, one night stands….and gee..isn’t it all great?
Except, it wasn’t. Milionis of kids became fatherless. And all kinds of bullshit crap about how woman can raise kids on their own was put out, and women who were tired of going night after night looking for love in Disco’s just came out feeling empty. Decency, went out the window with the old whiskey bottle.
Bill O’Reilly has been on a rant lately in which he claims the main problems in the black community come from the babes born out of wedlock. And he’s right. The blacks don’t even bother getting married. No fathers. No jobs. These boys are ANGRY, some of them don’t even know who their fathers are.
But, back to divorce:
Divorce leaves a scar on some so deep, you just best forget it. I remember a day in the life, after my divorce, when I watched my young six- year- old son, sitting at the front window, his little leather jacket on, his suitcase by his feet, eagerly waiting…waiting for his father to come and pick him up as promised…and then, eleven hours later, the “father’ called and saying..”Uh..I can’t make it today.”
My son, never gave up hope. That is a scar I could not erase, and it was only one of many. That is a day I grew up. He had joint custody, and he always threatened me, because he had more money. I told him….”Take me to court, you will not ever do that again.”
He didn’t. He disappeared.
Fortunatly, my son made up for not having a dad by making lots of friends. Our house was always filled with all his buddies. We had parties, and I watched his friends grow up…loved them, took them everywhere…camping, 4th of July picnics, baseball games, bowling, hockey… for most of my life my son and his friends WERE my life. For fourteen years I was a single parent. I loved all his friends, and was happy he had so many. And just the other day, my son told me that one of his friends was getting a divorce.
“I can’t believe it! Bob and Mary (fake names NSA) have been going together since high school! And what’s worse, is that she left him, for a woman.” he said.
Yes, Mary has now decided she is a lesbian…after two kids. Bob is devastated, and I’m glad I don’t have to watch those kids suffer. One time was enough for me.
After my divorce, I never though I’d find anyone. But then, one day a very quiet man came into my life, and refused to let me go anywhere else. It was almost like a stealth attack, which makes sense because he was a Navy Seal. (LOL) I never knew what hit me, but I find, now after 20 years, I am glad he did. A good marriage is…just the best thing. Life is much too hard to go through it alone.
Bill O’Reilly is right. We need to get the culture back to marriages, and get the blacks back to ‘getting’ married. And you know what? I think the pendulum is going to come about, simply because too many children need fathers.
The women’s movement did more harm than anyone can possibly imagine. Sure, it had a few good points…but they threw the bathwater out with the baby.
People are going to get tired of Wieners.
Having said that…this blog is done, (Thanks for letting me rant.)
Nobody’s Fool: Reverend Owens
Nobody’s Fool
Finally…SOMEBODY got the guts to stand up to Obama on the basis of their own faith. Nobody Thinks the Reverend Owens deserves applause for standing up for his convictions. Marriage between a man and a woman has been in all religions since they were formed, and now, politicians, are trying to force every religious person into excepting that which their own faith does not accept.
That’s not freedom of religion, that’s tyranny. How would the ‘gays’ like it if the state told them they had to “not be gay” anymore? It’s a matter of freedom. That’s basically what it comes down to…”Don’t be a Christian.”
And watch the CNN reporter try to put her own bias into it. Is it any wonder CNN is losing the ratings battle?
Nobody’s Perfect: Marriage, Divorce, Electrocution…
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have the subject of matrimony and love: couples getting married, couples getting divorced, couples getting electrocuted….
First we have Lord Paul McCartney, who just got married to a very lovely and very rich woman named Nancy Shevell. Nobody Thinks that was a smart move. The last woman he married couldn’t get enough of his money. Let’s hope this one works out for him.
You have to give the man a lot of credit…after the awful mess his last marriage caused him, to dive in at his age and try again, shows he believes in the institution. And for that, I give him a big round of applause.
Hopefully this time, they both signed pre-nups.
Paul looked years younger on his wedding day. I’m glad he is dying his hair. For a vegetarian, that must have been a hard decision, because you know, all those chemicals could melt into his brain and cause his liver to fail because he doesn’t eat meat. (Nobody made that up.)
And any woman who loves gardenias in my book, shows class. They are MY favorite flower.
They looked like the perfect couple, unlike this next couple.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Now……. I don’t mean to criticize anyone’s choice in men, (Wait…of course I do, it’s too much fun!) but when Demi divorced Bruce Willis and married Ashton Kutcher I thought she had some kind of problem—NOT because he was so much younger than her, but because he seemed like such a …what’s the words? College boy.
Demi also collects Barbie dolls and has a house just to show them all off. So you have to wonder…what did they have in common? Nobody Wonders if they will all go on their fabulous vacations after the divorce? Bruce, Ashton, Demi and her new future boyfriend.
Do we care?
No, we don’t, but Nobody Cares about the next couple from Pennsylvania: Joseph Russell and April Carter.
Why? Because THEY hold the common nobodies card of love for the future.
Police say a western Pennsylvania couple desperate for money to pay for their wedding netted just $18 for the stolen copper wire they cut from more than a dozen utility poles. North Sewickley police say 23-year-old Joseph Russell and 24-year-old April Cater cut down the wires on August 9, four days before their wedding. Russell says he was desperate for money because he’d just lost his job and lost a $1,000 deposit after his reception hall abruptly closed down.
That’s got to be love. I don’t care how much Paul and Nancy think they might love each other, I doubt if he would EVER climb a pole and steal copper wire just to marry her, and for good reason too. Another couple that were not so lucky climbed up a pole and paid for it.
A man died as he and a female partner tried to steal copper wire from an electrical vault in South Gate on Saturday afternoon, police said. The woman tried to pull him away from the vault when it caught fire and exploded, but the electricity traveled through her body and she received severe burns. Two small children were found in a truck 15 feet from the accident but were not injured.
There you go…desperate times call for desperate measures. Leave the kids in the car.
What did we learn from these three mistakes?
1. Don’t marry the first amputee that comes along after your wife dies.
2. Don’t marry the first young and sexy man who beds you right after your painful divorce.
3. If you don’t have enough money for a wedding, don’t climb up a pole and steal copper wiring…go on Oprah and beg for money.
What’s that you say? Oprah doesn’t have a show anymore? Well, just wait. She coming back because her cable show is losing money big time.
Anyway, maybe Lord Paul or Demi Moore will see you on the show, and send you the money you need.
At least you’ll be alive to enjoy it.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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