Nobody’s Perfect: Should a Pig/Monkey Get a Third Term?

Nobody’s Perfect

This week we have two professors who, after years of studying, thinking, contemplating, teaching, and generally just having a hard time staying off various forms of crack, have decided to grace the world with two very astounding revelations:

Let’s start with the not- so- original one from :ProfessorJonathan Zimmerman.

In The Washington Post, Jonathan Zimmerman, a history professor from NYU, has written an article claiming that all of America’s problems would be solved–GET THIS–if only we would allow Barack Obama to run for a third term!

He wants to amend the Constitution and abolish presidential term limits.

Yes…amazingly enough, Professor Zimmerman is a HISTORY professor, and never learned that when you put a narcissistic Marxist into power, historically speaking, bad things happen. Hitler, Mao, Stalin…my eight grade teacher Ms. Barry….yes—-. people die, starve, and…. it’s not a pretty sight. And yet the good professor thinks we should get rid of term limits all together and let Obama serve as long as he keeps getting elected.

And you know what? I’m certainly glad these two professors decided to make these astonishing revelations in the same week, because Professor Zimmernan’s ideal fits perfectly with the next man’s revelations made by Professor——

Gene McCarthy. Not since Hitler declared the German race to be superior to all others have we had a man with such a fantastic discovery: The human race evolved from a pig and a monkey. Yes…it’s true.

To Athens geneticist Gene McCarthy, pigs used to conjure filth and greed. But after years of research into this species, McCarthy sees a kindred spirit. Pigs, according to his Hybrid Hypothesis published last month on his website, Macroevolution.net, helped create humans by mating with chimpanzees. As you probably know, pig heart valves and pig skin tissue are used in surgeries because of their compatibility with the human body.

McCarthy with HIS Pig/ape hybrids

Evidently Gene can’t PROVE this pig DNA…he’s just going by some his own common sense observations. I suspect he has been observing mostly human mating habits and Presidential behavior.

And this brings us to the obvious: Should we allow a pig/ape evolutionally subject even INTO the White House?

So who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week? Professor Zimmerman’s idea that Obama should be allowed to stay in the White House as long as he wants?  Or Professor McCarthy’s insistence that people’s ancestor’s are pigs and apes?

Neither: the Idea that trumps them both is that global warming is caused by man. It’s just about as stupid as thinking that we evolved from pigs and monkeys. Maybe some alien just happened to like to cook.

Congratulation Al Gore! You win the Nobody’s Perfect award again.

BUT…I suggest we all have an open mind. We might mix some DNA from Bill Clinton and Obama and see if we get an improvement. Or better yet, just put a sexy pig and a monkey in the White House…and bring them out on the 4th of July!

America, would be a lot better off.

December 2, 2013 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | American History, humor, Uncategorized | History, Humor