Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: Why We Will MISS the Family….

Nobody Gets Email:

Here we have the timeless sayings of the last great generation, whose common sense has long since left the planet.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Tom Beebe, who is still a kid.)

I really liked the TIME TRAVEL…what’s your favorite?

******************

Most of our generation 50+ was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.

 

1. My mother taught me

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL  DONE . “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.Monkey laughing

I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock You into the middle of next week!”

4. My father taught me LOGIC. ” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, You’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case You’re in an accident.”

7. My father taught me IRONY. “Keep crying,

And I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.

Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out…”

14. My mother taught me about  BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . “Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in This world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it from your father

When you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes,

They are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know

When you are cold?”

20. My father taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,

Don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me

HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. “You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you.

Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

“One day you’ll have kids,

And I hope they turn out just like you !”

   This was only sent to the over 50 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these “EXACT” words by our parents

 

 

 

 

 

January 17, 2015 Posted by | American Culture, humor | , | 4 Comments

When is Hollywood Going to Make the Annunaki Movie?

Nobody Reads

Forgive me for going off the deep end today, I am STILL reading The Lost Book of Enki, translation of the Sumerian Tablets by some guy who says that the oldest known human literature has all the stories of the Bible in it: Cain an Able, Adam and Eve, the Flood…and I’m taking it very slow because—-it’s just too damn funny. Annunnaki ship

Just to refresh your minds on the story of the Anunnaki, according to the Sumerians, the Earth was populated by a race of aliens from the planet Nibiru. The big King there sent his sons to mine gold on Earth and ship it back, and they basically mated with some primates on Earth to make the first HYBRID to do their work for them.

At first the female alien scientists, tried mixing up the sperm of the male aliens and the ‘human’ DNA —but one of the male Annunaki just mated with a human one day and that worked out pretty good.

Let a male Anunnaki a two legged female impregnate, let a combination offspring be born!

Taller the Earth child grew in the image of the Anunnaki he was not: His hands for tools were not suited, his speech only grunt sounds was.

We must try once more! Ninmah was saying The admixture needs adjusting:

The point being they had a lot of trials and errors trying to come up with the perfect human, but once they got that going, the male aliens started having sex with them, and soon, they had a lot of new slaves to do their work. Which was growing food, mining for gold, and tending sheep..sheep brought to earth from Nibiru for everybody to eat.

Just for grins, they even take one of these new hybrids BACK to their planet, but when he is there he is told by his alien father NOT to drink the food there. These aliens think IF he drinks their food on their planet he will be able to live thousands of years…just like them! They don’t want the humans to live too long.

After a lot of success in getting tons of gold sent back to their planet, ..global warming happens. The crops start dying. They blame it on the sun, not their big space machines polluting the planet which shows how much THEY know. The ice is melting, and they know the planet will soon flood. This is okay with them because they really don’t care about Earth anymore, due to the fact that it just dawned on them that by hanging out on Earth,  they are aging! OMG winkles on Anunnaki! They age faster on Earth than on their own planet of Nibiru! So, they all decided to leave.

Cindy Crawford was not born yet. If ONLY they had stuck around.

And that’s where I’m at in the book. And so, in light of having too much fun, I thought this movie review was right in line with how most liberal movie reviewers AND liberal book readers interpreting ancient Sumerian tablets look at life.

Enjoy!

January 17, 2015 Posted by | History, humor, Uncategorized | , , | 2 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: