Nobody Flashes: A Few Days Off
Nobody Flashes
Yep. That COULD be me talking about Obama. I just found out that I am, according to Janet Napaletano…a terrorist. I’m sure somewhere, my blogs are being saved, just in case they think I go berserk.
LOL! Nobody has decided, to take a few days vacation…as you can see…I’m OVERDUE!
BUT…I’ll be back, sense of humor intact, in a few days!
Don’t go away! It’s not like I can afford to go to Hawaii.
Oh boy…I just heard that Iran is being put on an arms trade treaty panel at the U.N.
Nobody is watching this video…One MORE TIME.
Nobody Flashes Big Crocs
Nobody Flashes
Having grown up in Naples, FL, I think I’ve seen just about every alligator and croc around. My parents told me when I was a kid, NOT to go down to the lake down the street because of the alligators. I, of course, wanted to see them for myself (I was six) so one hot afternoon I went down to that lake, and sat on the bank looking for my first alligator.
After about twenty minutes, which to someone who is six, is an eternity, I saw nothing. I began to think my parents were lying to me. I was getting pretty bored when I noticed that in the water, about 24 feet in front of me, was a pretty silly looking log. And then, I noticed the log sort of…moved.
To say it was probably the second most frightening moment of my life is an understatement. I froze. For a good five minutes I did not even hardly breathe. All I kept thinking was, “I hope he’s not hungry!”
Since he did not come after me, I decided to get up very slowly and BACK away at a snails’ pace. The old guy must have been asleep because he did not have me for lunch.
I never told my mother..in fact, I never told anyone in order to not appear…stupid. But that guy was no match for these. He was only about 12 feet. While people make a big deal about the difference between crocs and alligators, they will both try to eat you if they can. They’re like cousins.
Here’s a croc that a good deal bigger by the boat. That’s the Australian Brutus (that’s his name) who they use as a tourist attraction by feeding him buffalo meat. He does a good job even without the one leg.
The other croc was just captured in the Philippines, 21 feet, and weighs a ton. They are going to use him to attract tourists also. It took 100 men to catch him, and they say…that there is one even bigger that they haven’t caught yet.
So, you can bet that somewhere in the Philippines is a little kid, whose parents have told them NOT to go near that water, who are doing that exact same thing I once did…go looking for it.
Childhood curiosity will almost always outweigh risk that you are too stupid to comprehend….and some people never grow out of it—
Unless of course, you are more afraid of your mother. 
Liberals Protesting…Whatever…
Nobody Gets Email
I love it when people protest but have NO idea what they are protesting against, don’t you?
To Wine, or Not to Wine
Nobody Cares
Please. Tell me somebody else besides me does this:
I was watching some program on the HGTV channel, and it was about this married couple who was buying an apartment in New York. He looked…Arab, and she was like a blond model. Anyway…YOUNG…too young to be forking out $10 million for an apartment. And the agent showed them three places, all up in that price range. One place alone…had a hallway that was as long as a football field, and about 15 bedrooms… They fell in love. The kitchen was half the size of my house. 
Now, the whole time I am thinking: 1st…How in the world did these two twenty- year- olds get so much money?: and 2nd…Why is it that rich people seem so…very ordinary? When the agent said it would be ready in three months, the girl sighed and pretty much demanded that she wanted to move in sooner, because…”I’m so tired of all the toys.” she said.
Oh. Gee. Must be tough to want to move because you’re tired of your kids TOYS getting in the way. That’s a reason to buy a $10.9 million dollar New York penthous apartment if ever there was one.
So, I take it this woman had plan to put her kids (who were all of two to three) down at the other end of that football length hall, and it would be as if they were in another state, and she was imagining all her time being spent waaaaaaaaaaaaay off in the other side of the gigantic apartment ….where toys would not be a problem.
When a woman from the poorer class has a “toy” problem, she makes the kids either pick them up, or she throws them in the basement, near the Christmas tree. Really, how hard can this be? Rich people just buy a bigger house.
There are no words that I can explain for me to understand the complete lack of “IQ” for people that have so much money. But then…all you have to do is look at Michael Moore.
Wait…..forget I said that. I should NOT have said that…I might have nightmares.
Which brings me to this: Penfolds of Australia had made the most expensive bottle of wine in the world, or so they claim. The wine has no corks or screw tops, so for $168,000, Penfold will send a man to your house to open it for you with a silver tool. 
I’m not all convinced that wine drank from a $168,000 bottle is all that much different that one from an old jelly jar.
Poor people all over the world have been drinking cheap wine and not tripping over toys for hundreds of years. They also drink wine, and do trip over toys, but NEVER do they feel they have to move.
And so now…I think it’s time for somebody on TV to invent a new TV program: House Swap. Let some poor people go live in a mansion, and let the rich people live in the poor man’s house. And then, spread some toys around the floor, and make the rich people drink cheap wine, and poor people drink expensive wine, and see which couple loses it first.
Somebody tell HGTV. I’m tired of being tortured. 
Finally: The Golf Swing Explained
Nobody Flashes
Don’t know how to play golf?
This, explains it all.
Nobody Flashes: Happiness in a Dancing AC/DC Cockatoo
Nobody Flashes
Nobody is as lucky as me. Upon hearing about the loss of my little parakeet Mango, a dear friend sent me this to cheer me up.
At least watch some of this if you can…this bird is incredible!
(Thanks to THE POWER!)
Nobody’s Email: The Candyman…
Nobody Gets Email
Okay…yesterday I had a dying parakeet and a dog with a limp foot. If you happen to be an animal lover you know how that goes.
So, let’s post this really fun video of a guy making fun of the government! And then, let’s all go swimming! This one is so much fun, I might learn it.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Mona)
We Have the Chain, Where’s the Ball?
Nobody Flashes
When it comes to shoes, I haven’t put on a pair of high heels in over ten years…mostly because I had to wear them all the time. Right now. I’m a tennis shoe woman, and K-Mart does me just fine. BUT…Adidas is going to release a new sports shoe called the JS Roundhouse, and for $350 dollars you can strap those plastic shackles around your ankle and feel confident that no $%&% is going to steal them off your feet, and we all know that for $350, there is going to be a LOT of people who are going to want them. 
When I wore high heels, I ALWAYS looked for the ankle strap.
But not everyone is happy. Here’s a few comments:
“A chain on your ankle ain’t nothing good for nobody,” Sykes (NBA) said “Whether it be the Jews, the Egyptians, whether it be the African-American slaves, whether it be the Filipino slaves, anything with a shackle on your ankle shouldn’t be made fun of, or like it’s a cool thing to have.”
We showed the shoes to customers and workers at the store. Some say they are racist. Others say they’re just ugly. But no one seems to like them.
“You’re either talking about slavery, or maybe being in jail, but either way it’s glorifying something that no one should be proud of,” one customer said.
Nobody Thinks the designer is onto something here…in fact…since I see those boys all the time walking down the street with their pants falling off…I can’t imagine the horrible feeling they are going through..since I know the horrible feeling I am going through just watching them. So! Why not put some chains AROUND your neck, attached them to your belt…then you can wear those pants as low as you want and NEVER be afraid of them falling off!
Buy a pair of Adidas, rap a song about slavery, and make millions.
Nobody is glad to help out. 
Nobody Flashes 3 Important Events….
Nobody Flashes
Happy Father’s Day! 
Happy Bunker Hill Day!
Happy Birthday to ME!
Really….it’s Father’s Day, but it’s also my birthday and guess who gets to pick the movie? 
I’m STILL Laughing…
Nobody Flashes
Remember that song by Elton John called “I’m still standing?”
Well…I’m still laughing after watching this.
Protecting Obama’s Back
Nobody Reports
If you are white, you will probably miss this ad put out by Obama to the black people to “protect his back” –He is asking for four more years of his continuing policies…of free stuff.
His big promise? He will get them college loans. What he doesn’t tell them, is that when they and IF they get out of college, the job market will be even worse than it is today, and what little jobs that will be left will go to the illegal Mexicans! You might have a degree, but you will have to move to China to get a job.
And as for keeping you on his Obamacare, even if you’re black, if you are over 60 and get cancer…you will have to wait in line for treatment just like the white people.
BUT…Obama wants YOU to protect his back!
And what does that back look like?
Nobody’s Perfect: Rivers VS Rickles Vs Lovitz
Nobody’s Perfect
In Hollywood, if you’re not a democrat, you are pretty much run out-of-town, and very few comedians can ignore an election year. Let’s compare shall we, three comedians and their opinions about Obama, and see which one is the MOST perfect:
FIRST: Joan Rivers…never met a liposuction she didn’t want, or an ugly dress she could ignore. Here she critiques the ongoing Republican race for the White House, and notice, when she finally criticizes Obama, Jane Lynch comes in to defend his gray hair. (?)
And then they both “bond” in their feminists glory of being born with uteruses…as if the man has no rights…He’s just a sperm walking–and then they go into the sex jokes…
I’m beginning to think they don’t have any…sex that is. I still like Joan Rivers, but she deserves to stay on the women’s channels, where she can talk about sex changes and viagra to her hearts content.
SECOND: You don’t go on David Letterman and cut down Obama, but that’s exactly what Don Rickles did…and when the Liberal audience was offended, he didn’t care. I’d say, Don Rickles has one up on Joan Rivers, in fact, Nobody would like better than to see Don Rickles tell a few Obama jokes to Joan Rivers.
THIRD: I saved the best for last. John Lovitz is a hilarious actor. His portrayal in the Wedding Singer of a band disco singer was so true to life, I almost couldn’t believe he was not some of the people I’ve seen on karaoke stages. But here, he really lets it go here, about how unfair it is to work hard, and then have a President who wants to take it away.
Lovitz wins the “Nobody’s Perfect, but You’re Pretty Close Award” for the week. This Nobody has now become an even BIGGER fan, and even Lovitz says the offers are pouring in from everywhere.
The contest—- wasn’t even close.
Nobody Flashes the Orvillecoprter
Nobody Flashes
Would you take your dead cat and make a remote-controlled helicopter out of it, and put it on the market for #$125 thousand dollars? Well…maybe you wouldn’t, but Bart Janen, (Dutch) decided it would be really fun.
He can fly his pet around the room, and take it outside and swoop the local dogs and neighbor kids. He called his “invention” the orvillecopter, after the dead cat, whose name was, you guessed it, Orville. Nobody is sure that this new product will catch on, but it’s worth a flash.
Would YOU do it for 125 thousand?’
Need I ask? 
Nobody’s Email: What Germans REALLY Think of Obama
Nobody Gets Email
It might surprise anyone living outside the United States that Americans hardly EVER see anyone outside our country criticizing any U.S. President by our media…On the contrary, we are told that Obama is worshipped the world over. The only place you can find the truth, is on the internet…as in this email.
(Thanks to Pattie)
******
You can bet the pro Obama media will never print these pictures! A chuckle amidst the insanity…the world is laughing at our government and the corruption. These floats were part of the annual Carnival Parade in Germany watched by an estimated 3 million people in 3 German cities including Dusseldorf. 
“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation: One is by sword, the other by debt” …John Adams 1826
“You cannot strengthen the weak, by weakening the strong.” A. Lincoln
“When injustice becomes law, then resistance becomes duty.” T. Jefferson
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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