Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Obama’s OTHER Speech at Fantasy Land

Nobody Wonders—

How the Mainstream media missed this speech?
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My fellow Cartoon Characters;
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My children never thought, that on this day in history, I would actually, not only go on Space Mountain with them, I would also sing Al Green’s “I’m so in Love with You” to the Fairy Godmother, cause let’s face it…she looks like my mother-in-law

Now..I know..I know what you’re thinking: President Obama…you can’t sing..well…

Yes I can.

Uh…I’ll do that later at the party. Today, I want you all to know, that I, as your President, I believe, that we CAN have Fantasy Land. All we have to do is be willing to sacrifice. Everybody needs to scarifice if we are going to make this Magic Kingdom magic again. I’ve got my top advisers..Dopey (Joe Biden), Doc (Leon Panetta) and Grumpy (Timothy Geithner) working on it. 

So..Donald, (Chris Dodd) no more swimming at Typhoon Lagoon. The EPA is complaining about it. And Goofy…(George Soros)  you’ve got to share your electrical car with Cruella Deville. (Nancy Pelosi) I know..I know, it’s not fair. But I’m going to need another four years to straighten this out…Heck..it might take longer….so help me out here.

Mr. Pooh (Barney Frank) ..I want you to stop eating honey.  Now…now, Michelle is going to teach you how to plant cauliflower…I know, I know, it’s going to hurt, but I’m not asking you to do anything more than I would ask of Mickey. (me)

And you know, Mickey is the key. Without Mickey Mouse, none of you people would even HAVE a job. Mickey takes after me. Big ears…and a true leader. Why, Even Minnie loves it when he sings.

Now. I know the Magic Kingdom needs some repair. That’s why, I’m going to put in a new stimulus to fix Space Mountain. After all, I got rid of NASA , so the kids are going to need to keep on dreaming of becoming astronauts, even though it’s a fantasy, hey…it’s a good one!

Remember, I’m inviting the world here to see you, which means, you’re all going to have to work a little harder.

Snow White is not going to get any more lunch breaks. She can’t be hanging out with Cinderella in the Castle. She can have apples, but I want her to keep on working. Remember, we must all sacrifice.

And if any of you see any fat kids, I want you to hide them. Guide them to cave of the Pirates of the Caribbean, and let them ride it all day…because we want those new foreigners to know that America is a fantasy land of lots of healthy people. After all, we want them all to spend their money on the soda’s and hot dogs in the park, and if they see all the fat American kids, they won’t eat here.

 My plan is for millions of Chinese to come HERE to buy those Mickey Mouse hats that they themselves, so proudly make in their own home towns.
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Now, I know, you’ve been worrying about your jobs. You’ve heard rumors. Rumors that this once Magic Kingdom is falling apart. And I know, you all need to eat. Eating food stamps is getting old. That’s why I have new plans to not only extend those food stamps, but codiments from now on, will be free. As will your health care. Buzz Lightyear will no longer have to keep that space helmet on. He’ll be able to afford a breathilizer.

And I know— some of the rides are a little scary. Our infrastucture is getting old. That’s okay. We can handle it. We are Cartoon Characters, and that’s why I’m here to help you all change.

 Change and be all that you can be…and that includes you Bambi. Simba will help you work on your self-esteem, and make you the better deer. After all, he was an African King, and you are just a doe in the woods. But pay attention…he knows a few things.
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I will try to save The Tower of Terror. It’s actually my favorite ride, so despite what you’ve heard, it’s not true— The Tower will be here as long as Michelle and I can come whenever we want to the park and ride it for free.

I promise you.

Okay, so I’m not as handsome as Prince Charming (everyone laughs) but, I promise, as your President, that if you all work hard and sacrifice your time and your efforts——

ME

Next year, I promise…I will come back. And I will make this Magic Kingdom the envy of the world, if you just give me Florida.

Okay, so we’ve all got work to do. I want to give a special thanks to Pluto, for taking such good care of Bo. Thank you Pluto! Next year, I’ll send Air Force Two to come and bring YOU to the White House..because you’ve done such a fine job.

So, let’s go Cartoon Characters! Let’s make this Magic Kingdom into the best tourist attraction in the world! Tourism USED to be our number one export, last year, garbage took that honor over. But…with your help, we can make it number one again by bringing in as many tourists as we can! And then we’ll have two number one exports: Garbage and Tourism. (And BS!)

We can do it! (Big smile)

THANK YOU!

 Uh…Arial…where’s my ice cream?

January 20, 2012 Posted by | humor, Obama, Uncategorized | , , | 2 Comments

Nobody Needs to Know

Nobody Wins

Here’s the question that I can’t find an answer to anywhere. We all know that companies pay to put product placement in our movies. Sometimes a company can pay up to a million dollars for a 4 second shot. God knows, we’ve seen just about every single movie star on the planet open up an Apple computer. Not to mention, all those big Hollywood stars who are health and fitness nuts can be found puffing away on cigarettes…and you have to wonder how much they got paid to do that. And if they even had a choice to refuse?

But.. the real question I have is: Does our government use taxpayers money to put politically correct propaganda in our movies? Or…do the producers of these movies demand the writers of the scripts represent the views they believe in? How many times have we seen movies promoting the favorite liberal cause of the day?

For example: The movie The Thaw with Val Kilmer is a Sci-fi film about a global warming professor who goes to report the ice caps melting, which was caused because the selfish “man” will not sacrifice his own life habits to save the planet….and because of THAT, a rare virus is let out, one that could destroy the world. There are so many, “Why don’t people SEE?” lines in the movie, the plot becomes almost secondary. If not for the excellent work done by the “bug” people, the movie would not be worth seeing. Val does not mention the fact that even if everyone in the United States went back to living in caves, China and India’s pollution would more than make up for our sacrifices.

Another example: The Dilemma…probably the worst movie Opie has ever made. It’s about two best buddies who come up with an electric car that SOUNDS and vibrates like an old-fashioned Ford Mustang. Now, I don’t know if Ron Howard got together with Obama and the boys from VOLT…to try and get America excited about electric cars, but the plot outside the many plugs for the electric cars is so stupid and lame, you can’t decide if the movie is supposed to be a comedy, or some kind of angst that Ron had happen in his own life and he just decided to combine the two.

The one best friend is very upset that his best friend’s wife having an affair. He confronts her and she tells him that he is going to a massage parlor every Thursday, and so she started the affair because he was not having sex with her…but with the massage therapist. Somehow, at the end of the movie, you get the feeling that she, his wife,  (played Winona rider) is a slut, but the husband is not…I guess because he pays for it.

Message: If men pay for sex, they are not committing adultry….it’s permitted, which shows you just how far that women’s movement went.

So, the best buddy, Vince Vaughn, gets them both exposed, and they get divorced, and by the end of the movie they get their contract for their great electric car  inventon…and you go: Okay. None of this was funny. Is this…dark humor? What am I missing here, besides the fact that they paid someone to come up with some kind of lame plot, but the real reason for the movie is to sell the concept of electic cars to the masses.

Which brings me back to my point: What came first? The chicken or the egg? Does Hollywood get PAID to put out all these crappy social engineering movies from our government? Or do they do it, because our government will make them all pay BIG taxes on their dividends?

Who is sleeping with who, and how deep is the money pit?

Nobody Wants to Know.

January 20, 2012 Posted by | American Culture, conspiracy, corruption, democrats, Entertainers, Movies, Uncategorized | , , , , | 1 Comment