Miss Alabama Wants to Feel Safe at the Mall…Who Knew?
Nobody Wonders—
Where Miss Alabama got her education and her eyelashes. I want those eyelashes. I could paint my bedroom walls with both of them. I could float them in the local pool and scream “SPIDER!” and all the kids would jump out and I would have the pool all to myself. It’s a plan I’m hatching.
Evidently, MS Alabama has a bachelor’s degree in public relations, with a minor in communications, which means it won’t be long until we see Miss Alabama on CNN or MSNBC because, as we all know, FOX beats the liberal channel in babes, and it’s one of the reasons Rupert is so successful.
Sex sells, and the liberal channels are sorely lacking in sexy bodies. Who wants to bet me we see this parrot on them sooner than we can say, “Maddow is a cow.”?
Therefore, you have to wonder–Miss Alabama evidently ENJOYS being frisked at the mall and airport. What she doesn’t know is—so does Larry King. The rest of us have no choice.
But who needs choice when you have foot- long eyelashes?
Nobody’s Perfect: Kanye West VS IRS
Nobody’s Perfect
Watching a bad video is about as uncomfortable to me as having to wash hockey uniforms. And I watched both this stinkers this week.
Kanye West, the rich guy who has China slaves make his Nike’s, is complaining that the rich blacks are the New Slaves. I want to know how he got this video played all over the world. Paul McCartney, he’s not.
But first: Let’s take a look at our Gestapo IRS, trying to pass as a white man’s dance group:
We won’t discuss the fact that the IRS is comprised of 99% union Obama lovers, and we recently found out that they are now working for the slave master who everyone KNOWS ordered them to target all his enemies…and for that, the master gives them nice perks…like being able to take wonderful vacations, and make really stupid videos, that WE pay for.
This from Newsmax:
The U.S. Internal Revenue Service spent about $50 million on 220 conferences for employees from 2010 to 2012, according to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
The cost of the agency’s conferences was released today by the committee, which is holding a hearing on the subject June 6. In one case, the IRS spent $4 million for an Anaheim, California, conference in 2010, where some stayed in rooms costing $1,500 to $3,500 a night and $135,000 was paid to outside speakers, including $17,000 for a lecture on “leadership through art.”
The General Services Administration was the subject of similar scrutiny last year for money it paid for employee conferences, including $823,000 on a Las Vegas event featuring a clown, a mind reader and a $75,000 bicycle building exercise. Some details of the Anaheim event were already known. The Star Trek video became public earlier this year, as did a parody of the 1960s television show “Gilligan’s Island.” The dance party video, which shows employees being instructed in line dancing ahead of the conference, was released by the House Ways and Means Committee on May 31.
First they rip us off, steal our money, and THEN make us watch them dance. Even Putin would not order such torture.
And then there’s Kanye: You don’t have to know much about music to know–this isn’t a music video. It’s a political hack job, used to incite riots in the black communities. The words are really stupid, but I did like one line: (see words here) He complains that they give him contracts even though they know the “nigger don’t read.”
Hey…I’m just quoting him. He’s blaming them for the fact that he can’t read.
Kanye actually starts singing at 3.07. OMG….Where are the Temptations when you need them?
So whose video wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
The IRS. Even though, professionally speaking, they pay Kanye big bucks to ‘sing’ and he is so incredible bad at it, you have to wonder WHY he’s a star…the IRS does fifty times the damage that Kanye does. The IRS can’t dance, and I wish to God Kanye would learn how to sing. If Kanye’s a slave, then I sure would like to be one.
So Congratulation IRS! You win the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week.
This video is proof that we need to pass a flat tax and put them all out to rest…for good.
Who Knew White Boys Could Shoot Hoops?
Nobody Cares
Last week I posted a sports humor video and got lots of hits on it, so I can take a hint: Lighten up Joyanna, it’s Friday!
So, here is another great moment in sports: Titus is not out of diapers yet, and already a star. You will be amazed at how good this kid is, but who wouldn’t be with the whole family having so much fun?
Especially Dad.
Enjoy!
Is Samsung Really Sexist?
Nobody Flashes
Samsung is getting lots of complaints that this ad is sexist. Frankly, I don’t see how. I have SEEN men when they decide to take over the women chores. They do it in half the time, and they do it quicker, mostly so they can go back to watching TV. Pretty much like this guy. Any women with half a brain should never compete with a man when it comes to “who does it better?”
Do men act clueless? Was Bill Cosby right? They pretend they don’t know how to fold clothes?
Of course, they did make this guy look pretty disgusting….so in all fairness they should do with the girl, sitting in front of the TV, in old ugly flannel pajama’s painting her toenails, and talking on the cellphone, and then when he puts an update into her, she immediately builds a back porch, puts in a swimming pool, gets the old car running, mows the lawn, fixes the kids bikes, and then takes out the trash, all the while barbecuing next week’s dinners.
What do YOU think?
More Than Just IRS Scandal Coming out of Cincinnati
Nobody Cares
It’s been reported that the IRS scandals started in Cincinnati.
We now know why. Evidently, there is something happening in the drinking water.
Obama & Kathleen Have Got a Wonderful Idea!
Nobody Knows
While America is being downsized from full-time jobs to lots of part-time jobs because of Obamacare, the great Kathleen Sebelius, head of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has big plans to help her government workers, lose weight, and save the planet at the same time—
Because we all know, government workers are fat, fat, fat.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services says it wants as many as 20 percent of its workers to “telework,” use an “alternative work schedule,” or do both, in order to “reduce green house gas emissions,” decrease “employee stress,” and give these government workers more time for “planning and preparing healthy meals.”
An “alternative work schedule,” according to the federal Office of Personnel Management means having “flexible work schedules and compressed work schedules.” A compressed work schedule means putting the 80 hours of work required in a two-week government pay period into less than 10 work days.
“This goal is in concert with implementation of the HHS Strategic Sustainability Performance Plan (SSPP) prepared under Executive Order (EO) 13514, which requires HHS to reduce green house gas (GHG) emissions by technological, programmatic and behavioral changes,” says the HHS strategic plan.
So, Kathleen thinks that if she keeps those woman at home, they are going to cook themselves wonderful meals? And it’s been ordered by the President that she do so? 
Really?
The goal here is to let all the single moms stay home and cook delicious meal for themselves because EVERYONE knows, when you are at home, the last thing you want to do is hop in your car and go get a big Mac, with fries and a chocolate milkshake. No, what you really want to do is eat a spinach salad. And since you are not getting in and out of your car polluting the planet with all your sweat from walking around the parking lot at that government building which is so huge, you have to walk fifteen minutes just to get to your office, you are also going to be getting off your computer chair at home, and getting on that treadmill you have in your basement because you now…want to exercise.
You have to wonder…what social engineering guru thought this up and in what Think Tank?
The “I don’t have a clue about human behavior” U?
Like Star Trek? You’ll Love this.
Nobody Flashes
Here’s one for all you Trekkies!
If you haven’t seen this…you will soon.
And Now, a Word From Our Sponcer
If you are like me, you have to wonder—How can man go from designing the Hubble Space Camera, to designing ugly purses?
Obama thinks amnesty is a good idea, and as you can see from this video, many would prefer the ugly purse.
Where in this totem pole of great idea do you think HE fits? 
“It’s a Rubber Ducky World.”
Nobody Cares
I don’t go in much for modern art, but this giant rubber duck is a blast. The artist that created it mumbled some moronic thing about how it will join the world together, but frankly, I think it makes the obvious statement that majority of mankind is still in its rubber ducky stage.
It’s coming here soon, but unless it sails up the Mississippi, I’ll miss it. What do you want to bet it goes to New York? Mayor Bloomberg will welcome it as a symbol of hope.
Enjoy! 
We Are All Just Toads In Obama’s Cyberworld.
Nobody Flashes
Due to work projects created by the recent tornado here, I didn’t get to post my usual Nobody’s Email on Sunday.
So, here’s one that will make you laugh. I can really relate to this poor frog since Obama became President. They keep promising us stuff and it never comes.
I know–you might be thinking, what can’t you relate to politics, Joyanna? Answer: not much.
(Thanks to J.R.)
Nobody Forgets Earthday
Nobody Reports
To show you how much I pay attention to global warming idiots, I completed forgot Earth Day…which was yesterday. So, in honor of all the people out there who are really offended that millions of people, like me, forgot to celebrate their favorite holiday, let them know, that I picked up branches from my lawn yesterday, and kicked some dirt. I sprayed my gardenia bush that I managed to keep alive all winter with some water and a glow lamp. And I watched the bunnies on my lawn. It was really…a very special day. I just don’t know what came over me….it simply slipped my mind.
If you must blame someone, blame Mother Nature.
I also want them to know that I am completely in support of letting giraffes swim in elite swimming pools, and everyone having a green toilet that lights up in the dark. I would support Mayor Bloomberg mandating that all New York restaurants have them installed, because we all know how much New Yorker’s love Mayor Bloomberg watching out for them. Not to mention, all the janitors would appreciate having to work less hours because of everyone being able to SEE the toilets when they are drunk. More illegals would come out of the shadows!
So…Nobody Says: Happy Earth Day!— all you Earth loving dweebies, and I send apologies in advance because no doubt, I will forget it next year too.
One can only hope.
Nobody Gets Email: Toilet Talk
Nobody’s Email
Everybody who reads me here knows the wonderful comments left by amfortas. Here’s a piece he wrote that I wanted to share with everyone, it’s really quite fun!
Enjoy! (Thanks to amfortas)
****
Not all funny stuff has to be ONLY funny. It can be useful too.
Not all inventions have to make things simpler. Sometimes more difficult is better. Circumstance and intent matter.
I like this…..
http://politicalcalculations.blogspot.com.au/2013/03/inventions-in-everything-making-life.html
Here, the Labyrinth Security Door Chain makes the act of opening a restroom door much more complicated. But why?!
Believe it or not, the Labyrinth Security Door Chain solves a problem, and does in fact make life easier.
Just not for the people who will be the most likely ones who will be directly challenged by the invention.
Mind you, there was a game I used to play once long ago before attaining the exalted ranks of Knighthood. Yes, it was when I was a farm-boy: a mere lad finding his way around life’s challenges in Singapore. We all start somewhere.
It involved lots of chaps (mostly farm-boys) going to a bar and ordering lots of beer. I mean LOTS. The chaps would drink the beer, steadily, in some unison so as not to give ‘advantage’. Much beer was consumed.
The first chap who moved away from the bar to go to the toilet, paid for the beer.
Needless to say, it was inevitable that he was knocked over in the rush and never made it.
God alone can imagine the disaster had we encountered the Labyrinth Security Door Chain.
The door chain puzzle begs a question however. Who is the one to have to set the chain in place after every bog visitor?
And another. Would there be a march on City Hall if some ‘Equality’ oriented bar-owner put one on the ladies’ lavatory too?
I can pretty well guarantee that it would produce several column-miles in the Femail Section of most newspapers,(and no, Virginaia, there is no Malemail Section) and Julia Gillard rising to her feet for a two hour hysteric on misogyny.
Nobody Cares If You Drown….
Nobody Cares
It gets pretty frustrating when you can’t get black lifeguards because it’s said that black people can’t swim, but one city is not going to let that stop them from hiring black lifeguards.
In a case of affirmative action run amok, a major U.S. city is looking for lifeguards based on race rather than on life-saving abilities. The city of Phoenix is recruiting minority lifeguards for its 29 public pools, even if they’re not strong swimmers, reports NPR.
“The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever, and every lifeguard is white,” adding, “and we don’t like that. The kids don’t relate; there’s language issues.”
The white kids are having to drive great miles to save the lives of the blacks and Hispanics. This is not fair.
Clearly in America, it’s more important to look good and politically correct, than be able to save anyone’s life. If someone drowns because the black lifeguard can’t swim,..do you, prejudice, racist, and always superior snarky white person, really care?
Social Engineering Hoodies?
Nobody Wonders
Just think: The government has projected that in 2030 there will be at least 30,000 drones flying over America. And since the only thing that will hide you from a drone is a designer hoodie to hide you from those drones—what a better way to get a Christian nation used to millions of Muslims running around amongst them, all with burka’s, and some of the them looking just like the son Obama never had. Since they want their woman in burka’s, it’s our nation that has to change and what a clever way to do it!
This could be social engineering at it’s best! 
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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