Veterans! Don’t Call Lindsey Graham for Help–He just smashed his phone.
Nobody Wonders
Hey everybody! Look what Donald Trump made Lindsey Graham do! Because Trump gave out his cell number after Lindsey said THIS:
On Monday evening, Graham told CNN that Trump was “becoming a jackass.”
By Tuesday, Graham was appearing on “CBS This Morning” and calling Trump “the world’s biggest jackass.” Even “the jackasses are offended” by Trump’s remarks, Graham added.
Asked whether he thinks Trump can sustain his place at the top of Republican presidential primary polls, Graham — who is also seeking the nomination — said no.
“I think the beginning of the end has come. The beginning of the end has arrived because he’s crossed a line with the American people that will not be tolerated.”
He also mentioned that Lindsey had once came to his office begging for money.
While Donald is scoring points with the America people by bringing up the obvious failures of the politicians–the politicians are fighting BACK! The Obama way! By making funny video’s so that all the young voters will think Donald Trump is a square.
But…what does smashing your cell phone have to do for the veterans?
He says at the end of the video: “This is for the veterans?” Really? Do all the veterans have money to play golf? Many of them can’t afford a cell phone.
Proving again what Donald Trump says is true: the politicians have done NOTHING–nothing to help our veterans. Lindsey Graham has done …nothing. How smashing his cell phone is going to help any veteran get anything is beyond me.
To most of us it says: Hey! Lindsey! Jackass! You lost that one…you COULD have sent all the veterans a free cell phone—.instead of making an Obama video.
Nobody Wonders at the stupidity of the GOP. I heard a conservative radio host today make fun of Donald Trump because…he will probably wear a suit and tie to the border.
Really? You’re OFFENDED that Donald Trump refuses to dress down like our basketball playing, ghetto rapping lover, put-my-feet-up-on-the-Oval-Office-desk, President?
Go on. Is that all you got?
Nobody’s Perfect: Selfies–Nobodies VS Obama
Nobody’s Perfect
Ever since the ‘camera’ was invented, people have LOVED to take pictures of themselves….but what if you’re alone? This has been a problem until now…until somebody invented the LONG stick.
And the newest and funniest thing to do, is to take a picture of yourself. It’s called the selfie. (What, you thought I was going to complain about Donald Trump bloopers? Silly you.)
It seems some people just LOVE to see their own image, and they just can’t get enough of their own good looks.. but sometimes, one can go overboard, as you will see, MORE than a few of these people did.
(Don’t miss number 17 though…it goes into the archives of mysterious deaths list of democratic politician’s cover-ups)
So, this week, we have a contest between Obama and the above photo-shooters….a vast collection of humanity who just can’t get enough of themselves.
Who is the bigger narcissistic photo hog?
You have to watch the above video first…the nobodies of the world, just being creative with their normal selves, and wanting to express their achievements, through a well thought-out selfie.
And then we have Obama and his fondness for taking his own picture.
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for loving themselves so much they can’t stop taking their own picture? Obama of course: In this case beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yes, it’s the face that launched a million suckers. TELL me those teeth aren’t capped.
Why wait for Congress?
Nobody Knows where WE just went!
I can’t wait to take one of these with Castro.
Remember guys…there is no climate on Mars..just my handsome face.
This one will go to my friends in Iran…You’re welcome Iran!
Yes…we ARE the world!
These are so good, I think I’ll sell them at my Presidential museum.
Just ignore her. She has her own plane home.
They’ll LOVE this in Kenya!
SOMEBODY Owes Pluto an Apology.
Nobody Flashes
Well, now that we can all rejoice that the United States pulled SOME kind of space success off, (Actually, America has done really fantastic stuff)
I would like to know when the dweeb who INSISTED a few years ago that Pluto was NOT a planet, it was just a worthless piece of rock, and therefore should be taken off all school maps for little kids…. 
When are THOSE guys, going to apologize?
Pluto, it seems, is and always has been…a planet.
Notice, how nobody is mentioning the “Opps, sorry we said it wasn’t a planet, we were wrong.”
In fact, if I remember right. there were quite a few people who wondered why they had to take Pluto off the planet list at all?
So, when we go into an ice age, will all the scientists who keep insisting that the Earth is warming, all of a sudden…stay silent and come out and say,
“OH! The Earth is cold! That’s because humans have eaten too many cows!”
Okay…it’s a good day. It’s an exciting day considering how long it took to get to Pluto. At least SOMEBODY is still exploring.
I’m certainly glad we now have proof. Pluto..IS a planet. Think we can send some dweeby scientists there?
Nobody’s Email: The Greek Bailout Explained
Nobody Gets Email
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a ¤100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one room in which to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the ¤100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the ¤100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the ¤100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers’ Co-op takes the ¤100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the tavern.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him “services” on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the ¤100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the ¤100 note back on the counter so the rich German will not suspect anything.
At that moment the German comes down the stairs, picks up the ¤100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything – No one earned anything – However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the Greek government hopes to fix its economic problems.
My Day at the Zoo: Polar Bears, Elephants, and Mexicans Pulling Suitcases
Nobody Flashes
Once a year, I usually make a visit to the St. Louis Zoo, so that’s where I was most of the day. It’s one of the best zoo’s in the country, and it’s still free. Well, free if you don’t park in the $15 dollar parking lots.
What was different about this year? They had a new polar bear exhibit, which was nice, but also, something I had never seen before: Mexicans right off the border!
I counted THREE Mexican family’s walking around pulling all their families belonging behind them in suitcases. Tell me, who carries their suitcases through a zoo?
They were all well dressed, looked very well fed, and very excited.
So what? Does the border patrol fly them to St. Louis, ask them were they want to be dropped off and they say the Zoo?
They go to the Zoo before they go to whatever house or hotel or apartment? Or do they have to waste a few hours while the border patrol finds them a nice place to stay?
They really ARE suffering.
From Breitbart:
In an area south of Mission, Texas, known as Rincon Village, border crossers are smuggled across the narrow Rio Grande River on small rafts. Once on this narrow peninsula, the illegal border crossers have nowhere to go but right into the hands of waiting Border Patrol Agents. This is by design. They want to be captured as quickly as possible because they know they will be sent on to their destination at taxpayers’ expense. They also know they do not have to fear deportation.
Evidently, not only do they have to fear deportation, they have a visit to the zoo so the kids can have some fun after the long plane ride!
Amazing. No wonder they want to come here.
Nobody Knows If We Can Get This Over the White House Fence….
Nobody Gets Email
I don’t know why this cracks me up, but it does. We can’t send our rockets into space anymore, but maybe we could send R2D2 over the White House fence.
(Thanks to Kim Komando, who says she WANTS one.)
Nobody’s Email: The Trick of The Trick Question
Nobody Gets Email
Here’s a bit of silliness for a Saturday morning, that could have very well been written by Lindsey Graham…Good luck!(Thanks to J.R. )*****************Hello,Many of us are of the age where we askARE WE SLOWING DOWN OR ARE WE STILL”THE WAY WE WERE”..The below 11 questions will be an indication that”we still have it” or ”we are a wee bit off our game”…********************
1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named
April. The second child was named May.
…What was the third child’s name?2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches
tall and he wears size 13 sneakers
….What does he weigh?3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered,
…what was the highest mountain in the world?4. How much dirt is there in a hole
…that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?5. What word in the English language
…is always spelled incorrectly?6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer.
….How is this possible?7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg.
…Why not?8. What was the President’s name
…in 1975?9. If you were running a race,
…and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?10. Which is correct to say,
… “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field,
….how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Here are the Answers1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named
April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s
name?
Answer: Johnny of course2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches
tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in
the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn’t discovered yet. [You’re not very
good at this are you?]4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three
feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the
summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera
to take pictures.8. What was the President ‘s name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now – Barack Obama9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place,
what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd place. Well, you passed the person in
second place, not first.10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The
yolk of the egg is white”?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the
other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all
in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.
~~~~~~~~~
The Devil Wants His Face in Arkansas
Nobody Reports
You can’t make this stuff up. Satan’s home in Arkansas?
Since the Ten Commandments are being allowed to stay on Courthouse grounds in Arkansas (No, the Supreme Court evidently has not gotten to this yet) the Satanists want this wonderful statue of Satan to be displayed also.
Nobody Suggests it would be better displayed at the Clinton Library….after all, many believe that two of his disciples got their start there.
Also notice, the steel bar coming out of the young boy’s back to help hold Satan up. What kind of God needs to sit down all the time?
We should at least be GLAD that Allah doesn’t like his image shown everywhere too. Makes sense. Ban the Confederate Flag, and raise statues of Satan.
How the Owl in the Bohemian Grove feels about his? I suggest Gaia, Buddha, Obama, and Bruce Jenner, should have the same right….after all, if men are all equal, so are their gods…right?
(Don’t answer that, the NSA is watching.)
This 2014 photo provided by The Satanic Temple shows a bronze Baphomet, which depicts Satan as a goat-headed figure surrounded by two children. The Satanic Temple, a group advocating the separation of church and state, is considering proposing that the statue be placed outside the Arkansas Statehouse after their first choice of the Oklahoma Capitol grounds was scuttled in 2015 by a state Supreme Court ruling barring all religious monuments. (The Satanic Temple via AP)
Donald Trump is Now Live Bait!
Nobody Cares
The feeding frenzy of Donald Trump begins! This pretty much portrays what everyone in the media was doing to the Tumpster last week….Will he survive? Stay tuned!
Nobody Gets Email: The Good Bet
Nobody’s Email:
My liberal friend J.R., who has never been married, loves to send me…off colored jokes. While I hesitate to post too many, I thought this one was funny…
Enjoy! (or not)
*********
Nobody’s Email: The Purpose of the DOT
Nobody Gets Email
It’s hard to believe that we can’t tell these kind of ‘racist’ jokes anymore. It may be racist…but it’s funny! Like many good jokes, it helps if there is a bit of truth to it.
(Thanks to my liberal friend, JR)
The Dot —-FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.
Get Up OFF of THAT THING…Because God Tells You To— Idiot.
Nobody Cares
Wow. I HAVE been in a funk lately. This week I tore a hole in Rush Limbaugh, Obama, Glenn Beck, and let’s not forget the Pope. Okay. You could blame it on the weather. It’s been flooding here, and I have not been able to swim FOR A WHOLE WEEK! Doesn’t God realized that I wait the whole winter just for the moment when I can go swimming in his glorious sunshine? WTF is it with all this rain?
Is Moscow controlling our weather?
Okay. I can’t complain about God. While I wish understandably that I would win the Powerball so that I could buy my OWN pool, heated, ever ready, God always just sends me what he thinks I need. For instance….One Christmas I really needed exactly $1500.00. Part of that would go to Christmas presents for my son, part of it for medical expenses. And sure enough, God came through. While trying to get on the highway one day, one of those massive tractor trucks came zooming around the corner at about 50 MPH, and I was NOT about to get in front of that baby, so I stopped.
The lady behind me who was accelerating to get on the highway, ran right into the back of me. I’m sorry…I had to pick the lesser of the two evils…death by a 50-ton truck, or a fender bender. But hey! As I told her, “Last time I looked, in Missouri, if someone hits you from behind it’s THEIR fault.” (You can imagine how she reacted to that statement)
I love it. The damage to my car was so minor, I didn’t even fix it. BUT…her insurance paid me a nice check of…you guessed it EXACTLY $1500.00.
Thank you God.
And you all know I sometimes get carried away with my own gloom. I blame this on my mother, who woke up every single morning...depressed about the world. Talk about the cup half empty…to my mother there WAS no cup. She was pouring acid water filled with the dead souls of a million dead bumper baby regrets down a black hole, every single day. I’m surprised I even survived my childhood. To be fair, it wasn’t her fault. She had genetically inherited this gloom from her ancestors…and passed it on to me, and I’ve given it to my son.
Truly, it wasn’t our fault.
It’s a good think John and John Quincy had good jobs, THEIR sons did not even find a cup to climb into. And in that respect, I’ve been lucky. God has always thrown me a line.
I was getting so down after this last incident in Charleston, that I just had to get out today. So I put on my windbreaker, my worst tennis shoes, and sloshed through the rain. I had been trying to figure out how to get myself out of this funk, and then I read in a book that you must soar above yourself and see what’s ticks you off…to recognizes your ‘push’ buttons…
Hey—have you listened to the news lately? OMG. Give me a cup to THROW at somebodies head! My buttons are pushed out. Do NOT reset them.
But…God came through just in time today: For some damn reason, on the bookshelf at my local library was a P.J. O’Rourke book: One dollar. What a bargain. And reading upon this, as I stood dripping from the rain… I came to this passage:
Consider it a God moment—if you please…humor me.
Let us, for the space of this book, quit worrying and go take a look at what we are worrying about. And let us take a look not only at the worry but at the place where the worry is happening, the context within which the worry occurs, and the people who are doing the worrisome thing or having done it to them. And let us keep in mind about these people that, whatever their language, culture, or religion, whatever peculiar thing they are wearing through their nose, whatever caliber item they have pointed at our head, they are people , too. They are just as dumb, stinky, and ridiculous as we are.
And worry itself is fairly pointless. Worrying is a futuristic matter. About that future, Sydney Smith said almost two centuries ago, “We know nothing of tomorrow: our business is to be good and happy today.” To worry is an act of sublime ignorance. However, we can guess a few truths on the subject. One is that the usual solutions proffered for the usual worries are usually wrong.
I love it when God talks to me. Combine this with the movie I just watched about James Brown, and he is downright being the God he always turns out to be. He gives me just what I need, when I need it.
And so, picture if you can…ME. Dancing and singing..”Get up off of that thing, Dance and you’ll feel better.”
And I did. And I DO! Maybe God wants me to make this a morning ritual. (Ya think?)
God bless James Brown, P.J.O’Rourke, and whatever power in the universe who keeps…filling my cup up when I just run out of gas.
Tell me he doesn’t exist, and I’ll show you WHY you should never mess with a hummingbird.
Enjoy!
Has God Left the Vatican?
Nobody Flashes
It’s Sunday. It’s a day traditionally held for Godly worship.
And so, I’d like to dedicate this to the Pope, who not only thinks people pay WHY too much attention to their dogs…
But has now stated that there are WAY too many people on the Earth.
If the Pope keeps this kind of thinking up, I’d say that, not only has Elvis left the building….GOD has left the Vatican.
Hey, news flash MR. Pope: the rest of us earthly mortals love dogs and people…maybe you should get a dog.
Enjoy!
The Next Queen of Soul
Nobody Flashes
So THIS is why parents give little girls dancing lessons!
Her name is Johanna, and she was born to be the next queen of soul…all she needs is singing lessons.
Enjoy!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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