Nobody’s Email: Lessons in Tolerance
Nobody Gets Email
Now that I’ve just heard, we have Sharia Law in Texas, I thought I’d post this old favorite that has gone around the web with additions each time.
Enjoy! (Thanks again to Kris)
********
Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says:
“I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.
Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.”
“That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.
We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay,
“The Turban Cowboy,”
and the other, a topless bar, would be called
“You Mecca Me Hot.”
“Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called
“Iraq of Ribs.”
“Across the street there could be a lingerie store called
“Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret,”
with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.”,
and on the other side a liquor store called“Morehammered.”
“All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us. “Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on.”
And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point… It is either past
your bedtime, or it’s midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.
Nobody’s Email: World’s Shortest Books
Nobody Gets Email;
Yes! It’s the weekend! Time for some of my Nobody Email! And here we have the worlds shortest books:
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Kris)
*************
These books hold the world record for the shortest stories, and you must have a pretty good long term memory and be well informed to fully appreciate the humor.
World’s Shortest Books
MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
By Tiger Woods
________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan
& Michelle Obama
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Foreword by George Soros
________________________________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By “The Rev Jesse Jackson” & “The Rev Al Sharpton”
______________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton
_________________
Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
____________________________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart
____________________________________
HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian
__________________________________
TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnell
__________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson
__________________________________
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson & Casey Anthony
_________________________________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy
________________________________________
MY BOOK ON MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
And foreword by
Tiger Woods with John Edwards
____________________________________________________
HOW TO WIN A SUPER BOWL
BY THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS
___________________________________________________
AND, JUST ADDED:
My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
By Nancy Pelosi
________________________________________________________
And the shortest book of them all………………..
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
By Barack Obama
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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