Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Knows Why George Bush Doesn’t Just Admit it: He took Hillary’s Emails.

Nobody KnowsHillary reading email

The big question this week is— will Congress be able to get into Hillary’s private emails server?

All last week, the question of Hillary and her deleted emails, made us wonder if there wasn’t a plan to get us all sick to death of hearing about it, and beg for it to go away…because after all, the Republicans want Hillary to run in 2016, they don’t want this either.  Is it working? All this mass coverage of the missing emails?

Are we getting sick of it? Yep.

And speaking of getting sick….


On the grand scale of hypnotic hypocritical hypothesis’, the Barack Obama claim that it was actually George W. Bush who was responsible for the creation of ISIS, is one for the baloney history books.

In an interview with VICE news, he said this:

“Two things: one is, [ISIS] is a direct outgrowth of al-Qaida in Iraq that grew out of our invasion. Which is an example of unintended consequences. Which is why we should generally aim before we shoot. “ISIS in black

Well…Nobody Wonders…what took you so long Obama? We were beginning to believe you’d fallen asleep. Too many beers. Too many putts. Too many nights out at fancy dinner parties with the Secret Service.

Here’s the problem: Ron Paul is sending out emails saying this exact same thing. If we had just stayed out of Iraq, none of this would be happening.

Let’s say that’s true. Nevertheless, when you are given a problem— YOU DON’T MAKE IT WORSE!

Which is exactly what Obama has done, and by all observation..on purpose. Nobody swears ISIS looks like the army Obama would invent himself: All those black outfits…I can’t wait for them to start rapping.Obama on Kimmel

“We gonna tear down the Eiffel Tower, and Big Ben too!”

“And After all that, George Bush, we’re coming after YOU!”

Where’s Jimmy Kimmel? Obama needs to get on this.

While trying to rebuild Iraq was the impossible dream, at least after the surge, there wasn’t the huge army of madness that Obama has created.  ISIS is Obama’s making. That’s on his drone crazy head alone.  George W. Bush at least would have never left our men and women out to die, and disarmed them, put them in fields of engagement where they couldn’t possibly hold on.

Obama has literally lost towns that our boys had died to free just because he didn’t like the policy of war.

Nobody Knows how much damage Obama has done to our military, and Nobody Knows if it wasn’t just to give the cities back to the Muslims so he could one day say..

“See what George Bush did?”

Obama…always siding with the enemy…and planning his next blame game. It’s all about….him.

And speaking of siding…


Is that why we seem to be, once again, supplying ISIS with all the military guns, ammunition, helicopters, jets, Hummers and trucks that they need to take over?

What happen to common sense? You DESTROY what you leave behind so the enemy can’t take it. Not in Obama’s army. NO sir-reee. Never let a good tank go to waste, is his motto: Give it to a nearby Muslim.

From various source on Drudge:Isis with trucks

The Pentagon is unable to account for more than $500 million in U.S. military aid given to Yemen amid fears that the weaponry, aircraft and equipment is at risk of being seized by Iranian-backed rebels or al-Qaeda, according to U.S. officials.

In Yemen and elsewhere, the Obama administration has pursued a strategy of training and equipping foreign militaries to quell insurgencies and defeat networks affiliated with al-Qaeda. That strategy has helped to avoid the deployment of large numbers of U.S. forces, but it has also met with repeated challenges.

Washington spent $25 billion to re-create and arm Iraq’s security forces after the 2003 U.S.-led invasion, only to see the Iraqi army easily defeated last year by a ragtag collection of Islamic State fighters who took control of large parts of the country

Obama’s war strategy is to hand over billions of dollars worth of military equipment PAID BY THE AMERICAN TAXPAYER… to fight, even if its against us. Make sense doesn’t It?

And speaking of making sense…


Nobody Knows why Obama’s Secret Service is basically made up of a bunch of low-life drunks. A couple of them got drunk and hit the fence in front of the White House.

But…they weren’t shot, unlike that poor girl who just wanted to TALK to Obama. She was sober.

Could it be…they don’t care about the President?  The director was being grilled today about why the Secret Service is such a disgrace, and the director has come up with a solution:

They want $8 million dollars to build a fake White House so they can rehearse their moves. They need to have REAL bushes.Secret Service

Nobody Knows how the Secret Service got along all these years without having to rehearse in a fake White House, but I blame it on the fact, that our Secret Service is made up of…idiots.

They couldn’t pass the regular Secret Service program so they need to go over it again…

It’s like, anybody that didn’t pass math in the 4th grade (half the country) Obama is going to have them take remedial courses in community college to catch them up, and make us pay for it.

Same thing. Same Logic.

And one last thing…


Nobody Knows how happy I am that I didn’t have to go get drunk in an Irish pub tonight; Bibi won.

My faith in the Jewish People has been renewed.

Israel has its race card players too….and she (He?) said this:

“Yachimovich says: “No Western leader would dare utter such a racist comment. Imagine a prime minister/president in any democracy who would warn that his rule is in jeopardy because, e.g., ‘Black voters are coming in droves to the polling stations’… Horrendous, isn’t it? In any case, I think what worries Bibi is that Israeli citizens are moving in droves to the ballots, and quite simply want to democratically topple him.”

I love it when people move in droves, don’t you?

Next week, Nobody Knows why Spell Check doesn’t do a better job catching my mistakes, and if George W. Bush will finally take the blame for Hillary’s missing emails.

Stay tuned.

March 17, 2015 Posted by | politics, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Let’s Hope Bibi Has the Luck of the Irish Today!

Nobody Reports

On this St. Patty’s Day in America, all good hearts are on Israel elections and the hoped for victory of Bibi Netanyahu.  It’s being reported that many buses of Arabs are being brought in to vote.

If that doesn’t have Obama’s vindictive fingerprints on it, I don’t know what does. No doubt, there will be many dead Jewish Americans voting too.Jews voting bibi

From The Times of Israel:

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Likud, vying for the role for his fourth time (third consecutively), made a last-ditch attempt over the past days to win back voters mainly from the right-wing bloc, vowing Monday night to block a Palestinian state should he remain in office.

Can the Jewish people beat back Barack Obama’s many forces of community organizers? If George Soros spent $33 million dollars to cause the riots in little Ferguson, how many millions has he spent to topple Netanyahu in today’s election?

His opponent, Moshe Kahlon, head of the Kulanu party, (Named after the Hawaiian drink) claims to be on the same page as Bibi in his stance on protecting the Jewish people but…we all know, socialists lie.

It has been reported by all the major news networks that Obama has sent his people over to help Moshe knock Netanyahu out of his job.drunk Irishmen

Nobody Hopes the Jewish people live up to their gift of having the highest IQs on the planet, and may Bibi have the luck of the Irish on his plate today, and also bless the fact, that he will NOT have to smell corn beef and cabbage and deal with drunk Irishmen.

Just kidding. I love drunk Irishmen. Really. Because if Netanyahu loses, I’m joining some of those drunk Irishmen at the bar.

March 17, 2015 Posted by | Elections, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

The Colonoscopy Question: To Resuscitate, or Not to Resuscitate?

Nobody’s Perfectcolon four

“Human have gotten along millions of years without colonoscopies, I just don’t understand why all of a sudden, you must have a test when nothing is wrong…I mean, why have a procedure that is unnecessary when you feel perfectly fine…especially when you COULD die from it?” I said.

My doctor, just shook his head. Every year, I would go into his office, and every year, he would tell me I should get a colonoscopy. He was PUSHING it. I imagined him making some kind of kickback….It’s not that I didn’t want to experience the pain, after all, I’d gone through a Caesarean, where you wake up and realized that oh..they DID cut through seven layers of muscle…stomach muscles you DO need to walk, who knew? I still remember trying to walk out of the parking lot to the children’s hospital where my newly born son was lying in an incubator…it took me about an hour just to get to the elevator.

…and gall bladder removal, where you realized that nobody will tell you that without the gall bladder, food actually travels at the speed of light through your body, the gall bladder acting as a traffic stoplight…even a snickers candy bar would go into my mouth and come out in a matter of minutes.

And they say the gall bladder is useless. THEY LIE! I was always calling up doctors and saying, “What is this green stuff coming out of me!” Nobody knew. It took a year for the alien gall bladder bile to disappear into probably some other organ in my body— like my ears. I should have called Steven Spielberg.

And most painful of all…I’ve had countless tooth infections, and root canals. Imagine what it must have been like before dentists? Pulling a tooth without Novocaine? Who knows how many wars were started by Kings with serious tooth decay?

What I wanted was my doctor to give me statistics. “Google it.” he said, as I saw him getting madder by the minute. Frustrated. Then he let it out. One of his patients was a mere 40 years old. He had cancer throughout his colon and didn’t even know it. He died. If he had gotten a colonoscopy, he would have lived. He didn’t want me to blame HIM if I had gotten colon cancer.colonoscopy

“Why in the WORLD would I blame you for the colonoscopy that I didn’t get?” I asked.

I guess his other patient did.

But, my real fears came from what I had heard, late at night on the radio. The radio host was really upset about his best friend, who had gone in for a routine colonoscopy, and was now, DYING…in a hospital. And this radio host talked about that for the next week. As far as I know, he is still there…punctured by some evil needle that couldn’t find its way back to the hole it came through.

Stuck. Blood oozing out all over his liver.

Surely, that would be my luck, I thought to myself. Out of the thousands, it would be me.

Even after reading Dave Barry’s famous colonoscopy column (Google it) I just thought..it’s all so unnecessary. O

And then, my wisest and dearest friend told me….do it. And so, I made the appointment.

Can’t be so hard, right?

As the day approached, I didn’t tell any of my friends. I didn’t want to jinx it.

Of course—there were papers that you had to sign….and then I saw it—there it was:

“Death COULD happen to you. ” sign here and relieve us of any charges.

I knew it. ..that mention of death again. They didn’t tell me that when I got my gall bladder surgery.

More directions: Don’t eat popcorn, hard fruit, raw vegetables and do not eat the day before AT ALL.colon two

Drink all you want, and then pour this bottle of stuff in a glass and drink three 16 ounce glasses of whatever you want— but you do this all in just one hour.

You MUST drink all three glasses. And cool…you could mix this laxative stuff with any drink you like. I had SEEN what Coke could do in science class…you can launch a rocket with coke and Alka- seltzer, so I figured, Coke. That will clean ANYTHING out. It works great on car engines.  If I’m going to do this, I want to use the most lethal soda on the planet.

Sounds easy right? It’s not. That night, I read two whole books in the bathroom. ….and

The next morning, zombie eyed..you do the same procedure all over again.

I had basically bloated my body with so much water, I could have passed as a floatation device in the nearest ocean.

I went into the office at after noon. I felt at least six months pregnant. My stomach was holding a water baby.  As I walked into the office, the admitting nurse was curt:

“Come with me, you have to sign some forms.”

After signing about 1,345 more papers, the nurse looked at me and said…

“Do you want to be resuscitated?”

“What? Is this a trick question?” I asked.

“Do you want to be resuscitated?” she asked again.colon three

Okay. Now. This was the real reason I didn’t want to be her in the first place, and so, I was right! I could die on that table, and they would look down at the paper I had just signed and say…

“Well, it says here, she doesn’t want to be resuscitated.”

“NEXT! “

I’m not kidding.

As they reeled me into the room, I looked at the doctor and said,

“I’m scared.”

“I was my first time too,” he said. Meaning, the doctor had had more than one.

Great. Just knock me out. Which they gloriously did. That IS the best moment. They should bottle THAT stuff and sell it on the open market.

As I woke up, the doctor came right in…and so, nothing was wrong. They found a perfectly healthy and exceedingly CLEAN colon to which the doctor was very happy, as I’m sure he was, if you could have seen some of the people who were waiting n the waiting room…I was quick and easy. I wondered if I would have gotten such a clean as a whistle colon HAD I still had my gall bladder.

Was this the happy ending to the story?

Well…there is one thing they don’t tell you. And it’s that they fill you with air.

Yes, like a flat tire being filled, they actually pump you up with air to do whatever they do in the great labyrinth of what is called your intestines, better known as the great highway where no man has gone before.

They blow you up…ha ha! Who knew?

Afterwards the nurse was pressing on my stomach to push the air out.

Funny. The nurse won’t resuscitate, but pushing out air is something they really do like to do.

As I was getting ready to leave the nurse said, “Well, good news! You don’t have to have another one of these for ten more years.”

Don’t tell my doctor. Hopefully, he’ll be too old to remember my name.

 

March 17, 2015 Posted by | Life, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

   

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