Why We Shouldn’t Trust the Rich…
Nobody Wonders
Have you been to a modern art museum lately? Well I have. And I can’t for the life of me figure out, how so many rich people think putting a solid color on the wall…is art, and is worth millions. The rich just have to be stupid to pay big money for that stuff.
When the rich get into the driver’s seat of Congress and the Presidency, they start doing very stupid things….like adding another trillions dollars on to our debt, which they did today, because the rich are still in control. 
And I’m here to say: These people are nuts. And I want to present proof of the decline in earth’s rich elites: They’ve actually lost most of their mental capacities. For instance, I present irrefutable proof: The New Wing at the St. Louis Art Museum. It cost $162 million dollars and three years to build.
I was pretty excited to visit the museum, and you can enter from inside the old one, which may or may not be a good idea, because what you see, are Greek Statues.
“Wow…how in the world did they carve lingerie out of stone?” I asked my husband, while we walked past nipple rustling marble. The skin was smooth, almost unbelievable that anyone could even get that texture…skin, cloth, emotion, out of stone.
And then, you enter the New Art museum. Each piece maybe took about…oh..a day at the most to make, and about $100 worth of paint to do.
As I stood in a room looking at two huge ‘painting’ one solid red, one solid black, I ask the guard, while laughing hysterically, what in the world was so special about them?
“You see that red one? It’s not centered.” Sure enough. He was right. The artist purposely off centered it. Wow. Genius. I do that when I hang wall paper all the time. I am, by a millionaire standards., a genius.
Or more than likely…they are all idiots. If some millionaire pays 3 million dollars for a ‘painting” that I could have done in a few hours, they really are nuts. Of course, all the poor people are walking around thinking, “I’ll just go home and paint that old toilet back by the shed and sell it to George Clooney for a few mil. How in the world can somebody get millions for all this crap?”
And so, if you want to see how humanity has really “progressed” since the Greeks walked the earth, go to any modern art museum. It’s all right there. Proof, that the rich are deep down, stupid in everything but how to make money.
That’s why, as the song says, we should “eat them all.”
Unless of course, they happen to collect Greek Statues. Those…might be okay.
(I’ll put these pictures right up there with ugly expensive purses.)
Nobody’s Perfect: Obamacare VS Free Vibrators
Nobody’s Perfect:
This week, we have real contest going—Obamacare VS Free Vibrators. Which would YOU rather have?
The contest is between two entrepreneurs: Barack Obama and Tom Nordone, so let’s get started. 
Obamacare:
Obama had three years to get his website for Obamacare up and running, but on the day of its debut last week, not only was the government shut down, it seems the whole computer Obamacare program, was just…not working. Obama knew that was going to happen because he said this WEEKS before:
“I guarantee you, the opponents of the law, they’ll have their cameras ready to document anything that doesn’t go completely right, and they’ll send it to the news folks and they’ll say, ‘Look at this, this thing is not working,'” Obama said Thursday.
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! For once, Obama was right! It was all over the news. Not only was it not working, more people attended the presentation on “Orchestrating Orgasms” at the University of New Hampshire (Over 500 people showed up.) than actually got through on the Obamacare website. And that’s including all of Obama’s 57 states!
There are going to be some glitches as this thing unfolds,” Obama said. “Somewhere around the country, there’s going to be a computer glitch and the website’s not working quite the way it’s supposed to, or something happens where there’s some error made somewhere.”
Free Vibrators!
And then there’s Tom Nardone…
Tom decided to get in on the action, and from the goodness of his own heart, decided to give away free vibratos to Detroit!
Tom Nardone of Birmingham, the founder of the Detroit Mower Gang, a prolific pumpkin carver, bulletproof vest manufacturer, a married father of three and the creator of a successful Troy-based sex toy business named PriveCo, has harnessed the federal government shutdown to bolster name recognition for his company’s website, vibrators.com. For as long as the government is closed, his company is offering 200 free vibrators per day to furloughed government employees. “Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential?” the Vibrators.com website asks. “Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame?
As of about 9:15 p.m. Friday, Nadone posted on his Facebook page that 40 orders had been filled.
That’s 30 more people than who actually signed up for Obamacare on the first day.
So who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award of the week?
Obama of course. By not having the websites ready for primetime, he missed all those unemployed workers out there in America, who were attending classes on sex and using their free vibrators. Most of them hung up after the first three minutes.
Nobody Thinks that Obamacare will still be having problems in 2031, while Mr. Nordone will no likely become more popular than Obama….and on his way to buying the whole city of Detroit.
Yes…the lesson here is capitalism beats socialism every single time.
Congratulations “President Obama”!
You’ve made a big fool of yourself…once again! And the world is watching. 
WHY Does the Queen Keep Anointing Idiots?
Nobody Reports
In case you haven’t heard the news, you only have thirty more years on the planet. Excited? According to Sir Bob Geldoff…the clock is ticking. 
First, you have to wonder WHY the Queen made a lord out of Bob Goofoff…er Sir Geldolf. By the likes of his hair, he only gets out of bed to proclaim the world is ending, so that he can throw a big party to raise millions, and then pocket his next ticket to whatever paradise he happens to sleep in. He says that all the people of the world will die by 2030. Known for his “LIVE AID’ concert, to fight famine in Africa in 1985…Bob has come out of his gerbil hole to speak again:
The former Boomtown Rats singer also warned “the next war will not be a World War One or a World War Two, it will be the end.” He added: “We may not get to 2030. We need to address the problem of climate change urgently.”
It’s time to ratchet up the global warming takeover….because soon, they will not be able to claim the earth is warming, and Bob will have to invent another problem, like BIG RATS taking over the earth. After all, x-musicians with no talent have to do something to make a living. Besides, the poor man is just not getting any sleep over the upcoming destruction of us all. Who WILL do his hair? All the hairdressers will be dead from heat stroke. Clearly, Bob didn’t mention this fact, but its obvious it’s on his list of worries:
The extraordinary “reverse” of global warming has led to a 60 per cent rise in ice-covered ocean. Just six years ago, some scientists were predicting that all of this ice would have melted away by 2013.
And I was JUST talking about liberals prophets of doom. Bob I see, put on a suit and dyed his hair blond to befit his title of Lord. 
What would REALLY impress us, is if some body would give a concert to end the corruption in tyrannical governments. Now that would be worth a lordship!
We need to WRITE that Queen. Clearly, she is not paying attention to her Queenly duties.
Is It a Clear and Present Danger?
Nobody’s Email
I got this last week. Watch how this retired veteran takes care of a clear and present danger.
The people who adopt these dogs after they ‘serve’ their time, should be given tax breaks! Okay. Maybe not. But I’d rather watch this than Nancy Pelosi sending her threats of mass destruction on the TV every hour. This kitten may not be a clear and present danger, but I would beg to differ about Nancy Pelosi.
Chef, who over five years served two tours of duty in Iraq and one in Africa detecting explosives and working as a patrol dog. Today Chef is one of the most popular dogs on the Internet because of a video where he meets a tiny kitten for the first time. Throughout the video’s running time, Chef, ever so carefully, like the meticulous and expertly trained dog he is, investigates this new, curious thing, pawing and sniffing at the feline, and the results are heartwarming.
(Thanks to JR)
Nobody Flashes Masculine Moments
Nobody Flashes
Okay. Due to unbearable pain in my mouth…I present a distraction. I actually wish I’d have thought of this first one when I played piano in hotel lounges.
If any of you guys out there has had any of this happen…go ahead…make my day!
(Thanks to my liberal friend, JR)
Nobody Reads About Naked People
Nobody Reads
I do. All the time. This morning I went from Christopher Columbus to the Enquirer.
What did I learn that I didn’t know already? Columbus was a pretty slick guy. In 1492 he discovered a whole civilization of naked people in the Caribbean, and how much fun was that? BUT…here’s the key. Even though all these woman were running around naked, because of his stout religion, none of his men were allowed to take advantage of the natives, who were very fearful of Columbus. And he made a point to GIVE them gifts, as a bribe, so that they in turn would go and show him gold, food, fish, etc.
A foreign policy that is still being practiced to this day.
Evidently, the ‘Indians’ (which he called them because he thought he was in India) were very loving and very fearful of Columbus and his clothes. They believed that all power came from the sky (is this a universal thing or what?) and so Columbus, being smart, kidnapped some natives, and taught them to jump off the ships on every new island and say, “Come, Come, look upon a celestial race!” And the people would flock with gifts to give the new gods.
Not very Christian of him, but nothing we haven’t heard from Obama.
Most of the islands were filled with good and loving people, who would give Columbus anything he wanted, but there was one island of very ferocious men, who wore their hair long “like women”, had spears and bows, and armor of brass, and ate human flesh. Columbus stayed away from them. Just like he stayed away from the island of people who had tails. A wise lesson that John McCain to this day, has not learned. 
The canoes could hold 72 people. ( None of whom were virgins, but don’t tell anybody) And even though they could build BIG canoes they couldn’t count miles. Columbus was REALLY good at measuring miles. He’s report 564 east, and 322 west. He LOVED to write about how many miles he went. No mile got past Columbus without being counted. And knew not to go North in winter, starting the universal habit of southern vacations.
Another thing I thought was interesting is that the ‘princes’ had twenty wives. All the rest had one.
And that’s another fact that is universal, isn’t it? There are very few women left in Arkansas that Bill Clinton has not enjoyed.
Yes, Columbus made sure that the money guy knew that there was GOLD in them there islands, and all he needed was more money to go and get it! Thank the lord. He left men to build a fort, and gave them enough supplies to last them a year.
Gee…imagine our politicians thinking like that.
Wait…there’s OIL in them there sands….
Still, I blame Columbus for Cuba. If Columbus had only stayed in Cuba, we would all be eating better bananas.
Nobody’s Email: Muslims Jokes are JUST as Funny as Polish Jokes…so there.
Nobody Gets Email
I must admit, my one liberal friend still has a sense of humor! Who knew? This seems to be going around the web…And I really like the one about the teeth.
Enjoy! (Thanks to JR)
*************
It’s ok to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, etc., etc, but it’s insensitive to make jokes about Muslims…
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes, You may be a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide, You may be a Muslim
6. If you can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive or racist and don’t forward it, You may be a Muslim.
What I Would Do For a Different President…
Nobody Cares
If we don’t talk about politics on a Friday, do they?
This is how I would feel if Ted Cruz’s DAD was President! I would LEARN how to this…if ONLY.
I got this from Yahoo…a tiny cheerleader named Marie Klein, set a Guinness Book record by doing 42 back flips. Something that we ALL have tried to do in our lives,….and some of us were drunk at the time.
What is amazing is how straight a line she did. She said she felt a little nauseated afterwards……imagine what she will be able to do in college! This woman will be able to have at least ten kids, no problem. Putin at this very minute is playing this video on his I-Phone, and saying, “We could USE that girl in OUR gene bank!”
Enjoy…and count. I didn’t come up with 42…I got 40…how about you?
Nobody Carea About a Clever Commercial
Nobody Cares
Like most people, I turn the channel when the commercials come on. I tape programs, so I can skip them. But, here’s one commercial that is very clever. It hits all their products in less than two minutes.
VERY original. Having said that, I’ve never owned a Honda anything.
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Email: Canada Has STRONGER Beer?
Nobody Gets Email
This was so cute, and such a catchy song, I just had to share it.
Canada claims…it has stronger beer than us, and who am I to dispute that? I don’t even drink beer. Although, beer is good for slopping on barbecue, and holding curls in your hair.
And I had no idea that their football field was longer. There is one problem with this song though: Someone should tell the Canadian singing this, that he sounds like he from Texas—- and THIS Nobody wants to know why?
I thought we all could use some…thoughts about something other than watching the Muslim Brotherhood burn down buildings in Cairo, and hearing about the death count EVERY TEN MINUTES!!
So…Enjoy!
(Thanks to J.R. ) Who also sent me this:
Nobody’s Fool: Peter Kay
Nobody’s Fool
Here’s a guy after my own heart. I remember sitting by my record player for HOURS trying to figure out what some singer said. Mick Jagger was the worst.
“I’ll never be your Beast of Burden, I’ll walk for miles, and I’ll be certain?”
And then there’s the famous words to “Louie, Louie” which Dave Barry wrote a whole book about. To most Americans, it was the most obscene words ever allowed on the air…but it was just a matter of what?
Anyway, just because this guy cracked me up last night so badly, I had to play it again this morning… I’m giving Peter Kay my Nobody’s Fool award for the week.
Enjoy!
Muslim Joke of the Day
Nobody Gets Email
I usually do not post jokes, but this one made ME laugh. And now, I expect the FBI will be knocking on my door asking me questions about my intentions as a U.S. citizen. So, I need to win the lottery so I can hide from them. (Thanks to my liberal friend, J.R.)
Muslim Joke of the day:
A Muslim immigrant goes to the doctor and says “I feel terrible.”
The doctor examines him and then says: “You need to pee and shit in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days.”
The Muslim does this and goes back to the doctor and says “I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?”
V
V
V
The doctor replied “You were homesick.”
Nobody’s Email: Jeff Gordon Undercover….
Nobody Gets Email
I’m guessing most of you have seen this commercial on TV— but here’s the extended version which is MUCH more fun. Since politics are so ‘depressing’ , I think it’s only fitting we should start the weekend with something fun. And also, because a good friend I know wouldn’t mind seeing it ONE….MORE….TIME!
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Mona)
Nobody Remembers Paul Revere
Nobody Remembers
Listen my Children and you shall hear, the midnight ride of Paul Revere.
From “Paul Revere’s Ride” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Hey. I believed it. I always had a picture in my mind, of one brave and handsome silversmith, who looked out his window, saw the British coming, jumped on his horse, and went from town to town shouting, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”
Sure, I believed it…I was a kid.
The real truth is there were about sixty riders that night, moving about the countryside doing the exact same thing. The “spy” who warned Paul of the coming Brits was by most historian accounts, believed to be Mrs. Gage, the wife of the famous British general. Nobody Wonders what kind of fight Mr. and Mrs. Gage had the next night, and what was it about Paul Revere that made her tell him such a secret?
By most accounts, he was a good-looking man.
And come on…Paul likely didn’t shout the “British were coming!” because…at that time, we were all British. Paul didn’t finish that ride to Lexington and Concord, because he was captured by a British patrol before he got there, and said a lot of very nasty things to them upon being captured.
Maybe he had a few drinks as he was known to do. But that doesn’t make him any less of an American hero. He was a member of the Sons of Liberty, and involved in every way with Independence.
Revere, not only worked in silver, gold, and dental plates, he drew cartoons and flyers for Sam Adams who as many know, controlled the town’s main printing press, and was the chief agitator. He was on the boat dumping tea with the best of them, dressed up as an Indian the night of the Boston Tea Party raid.
But on that famous night of April, 18, 1775, there were two other men who rode with him: William Dawes and Dr. Samuel Prescott. William Dawes actually did make it to Concord, and changed history.
“Listen my children and you shall hear, the midnight ride of William Dawes.”
Nope. Doesn’t rhyme. If only William last name had been Deares.
There was another more important reason that Paul Revere should be given credit.(And a personal one for me I might add.) Besides capturing the American supply of gunpowder and bullets— Gage wanted to capture John Hancock and Samuel Adams.
And because Paul Revere got to them before Gage did…..some of the top guys of the Revolution lived to carry on the fight. Who knows what would have happened in history if John Hancock and Sam Adams had been hanged?
Nobody really knows who fired the first shot at Lexington. Some say, some guy just wanted to get a drink at the pub, emptied his last shot outside, (You couldn’t take your gun into the pubs) and started the whole thing.
But Nobody Thinks that is about as unreliable as Longfellow’s poem written years afterward, giving the credit to just one man. So, why did he twist the truth?
Longfellow later admitted he wrote the poem to stress the importance of fighting for liberty and how individuals could make a difference. It was 1861…right before the civil war.
Noble sentiments.
Nobody Thinks we could use a few more of those old guys.
But..the midnight ride of Paul Revere was pure propaganda. Remember that the next time you hear that it was Barack Obama killed bin Laden.
The truth is more like:
“Listen my children and you shall ‘yo mamma”, at the midnight parties of Barack Obama.”
What? You were expecting Longfellow?
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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