Madonna: Stripping for the President
Nobody Reports
Thank goodness somebody finally settled the question on EVERYBODY’s mind: Obama is a Muslim. Madonna said so, and he didn’t deny it.
Madonna has declared that the reason we should celebrate is because Obama is black, a Muslim, and finally America can find hope and be thankful, that….all those Republican Blacks like Martin Luther King, did not die in vain. Madonna says that if Obama is elected she is going to strip naked for the world! Oh…happy day! Uh…you did that once before honey…Nobody suggests you spare us again.
Hopefully, Madonna will move to Mecca where she can be welcomed with open arms…where she can be stripped, raped, and killed with rocks as they do in those wonderful Muslim countries to women like her.And uh…what happened to her Jewish Kabbala religion that she was so excited about?
Did the Jews kick her out?
Madonna has done her share of Christian bashing, and God Knows, now that Obama’s name is tattooed on her butt, Obama can blame her if he loses.
Many people are saying that the reason we are being attacked on 9/11 is because Obama was bragging about how he killed bin Laden. I’d put Madonna threatening to strip naked as another reason billions of Muslims will go on another rampage…making both of them our highest National Security Risks.
Obama said today at the UN some insane thing that no nation that puts Islam down should …what was the word….I can’t find the quote now..they’ve quickly taken it down, but it was another “America must never take against the Holy Allah.” stupid thing.
Well, here goes: Allah can kiss Madonna’s not- so- sweet ass. The whole Muslim nation is a nation of slavery, and the fact that Madonna, Obama, Hillary, and just about everyone in the democratic party supports them, is beyond sensible.
So Nobody Says, in her own vernacular which she so enjoys. “Fuck you Madonna.” You’re not that important.
Hope she gets that! I am pretty sure, she will understand it.
To Honor This Infamous Day in Tax History….
Nobody Remembers
To honor this infamous day in the history of the biggest tax increase in a nation’s history, (Obamacare upheld by the Supreme Court) I give you…
The perfect song…with a few added words by George Harrison.
Go ahead…sing along.
Also, remember, these two men George Harrison and Eric Clapton married the SAME woman, and here they were still playing guitar like old friends, after they both remarried.
Makes you wonder doesn’t it?
Barack Obama, Who’s Your Daddy? Who’s Your Mama?
Nobody Reports
I love it when the country singers put their little guitar pickin’ fingers to good use…
This video is worth watching…simply because, it has a picture of Michelle that is downright scary. Really. I wouldn’t lie to you. Try to flash it out of you mind…I’m having trouble with that. Anyway…
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Floyd)
Bob Dylan & Diaphragms
Nobody Cares
Once in a while I take out a book from my library, and give it a look. I have over 7,000 books that I have collected through the years, mostly from sales at libraries ( where you could get a good hardback for 50 cents) and somewhere long ago, I had bought a book on Bob Dylan.
Like most baby boomers, I was obsessed with Dylan…bought all his records, marveled at his words. And when I became a singer myself, if my voice was not what I wanted it to be, I used the excuse “Well look, Bob Dylan can’t sing either and look how rich he got!”
Okay, that’s pretty lame..but it worked.
I’m reading the newly release book about Steve Jobs and found out that he had a two- year fling with Joan Baez mainly because Jobs was a Dylan freak too, and was thrilled to know that he was bedding the same woman that Bob Dylan had so long ago. As if, he was the same genius level as Bob.
You know…great minds think alike. 
Years later I remember being completely disgusted when I saw my old idol Bob Dylan sitting next to Bill Clinton who was bombing Kosovo at the time (and killing many innocents by sheer misses) while he gave Bob Dylan the Congressional Honor Award.
Hypocrite I thought. What’s your “Masters of War” mean to me now?
Such is fame and ego.
So anyway, I opened up my old book this morning, only to find a flyer with the “Information on the use of the Diaphragm.” and I remember having used one after I was trying to get off the pill because of the horrors that the pill was doing to my body.
I found sticking a big rubber thing up inside me rather annoying, so I didn’t use it for long. The fact that I kept the instructions hidden in a Bob Dylan book seems rather…funny to me now. (I put it back for my own historical reasons) 
My doctor at the time laughed when I told him about getting one, and he told me the Diaphragm had been invented to keep camels from getting pregnant on the long voyages through the desert. So the “men” decided to make diaphragms for the stupid women who couldn’t remember to take their pills.
Is that why they invented “the patch?” Stupid women can’t remember anything? Or was this a matter of trust? Probably both.
And so, somehow Nobody Thinks the dead Muslim woman are safe…BECAUSE….
Nobody Remembers: Levon Helm
Nobody Remembers
I had seen some great acts on this stage: the screaming of Janis Joplin, the great horns of Chicago, the electrifying guitar of Jimmie Hendricks, and the explosion of Tina Turner, who by the way, made Mick Jagger look like a wet frightened electrified grasshopper in comparison, but I had never been transformed as I was that night, the night I went to see Bob Dylan’s “Band.”
Every summer, many years ago, the University of Southern Illinois put up a big tent, and gave concerts when I was growing up. All the greats came, but there are moments, as every artist will tell you, when the gods aline and the music is transformed into some kind of fairly dust. It doesn’t happen often…maybe only a few times in a musicians life..but when they do, you do NOT forget it. 
I was in the third row, in a crowd of some 10,000, when I saw him…Levon Helm. The name fit them perfect: The Band. They were almost from another time in America, like they had stepped out of some old time Southern plantation…and so different from the rest of the groups by their sheer ordinariness, that you couldn’t help but wonder—How in the world did that wonderful full bodied sound come out of guys who look like your brother, or your mechanic down the street? The fact that they didn’t play the “Star” scene made them all the more attractive.
And I can picture clearly, everyone in the front rows, jumping up and down…to RAG MAMA RAG. I was no exception.
I can’t remember any of my thoughts from yesterday, but I can remember my thoughts at that moment of utter happiness so many years ago. At the time, I was trying to figure out just what WAS it that made this sound so joyous? I decided…as I watched the band reacting to the crowd who were all in sheer ecstasy…the smiles on their faces…that it was the drummer that was the cause. He was the magic genie that pulled that original American sound together.
At that moment I knew..I wanted to be Levon. I had seen every drummer and studied them carefully throughout my life as a drummer: and most are known by the “drum solo.” There was the ungodly drum solo in Inna Godda DaVita…repetitious: There was the impressive “chops” of the drummer from Chicago in “I’m a Man” nice to watch..but like you watch a movie. While Wipe Out was the norm to which drummers judged themselves, it left me bored.
But Levon did no drum solos. He just laid down the most remarkable feeling that JUMPED off that stage and left you jumping in your seats. There was no way he could compete with a Buddy Rich, or a Billy Cobham, or many of the other famous drummers, but there is something cerebrally ecstatic about the simplicity of a steady beat. Levon’s drums talked to your heart in the most simple way. You did not want to leave that sound…your body would fight you ever step of the way. You literally FELT his drums. I can’t explain it. 
The only other drummer that had that unexplainable talent was in my drummer’s mind, Gene Krupa. And Levon could sing…it was twang, and it was to the point, and it was fun.
The song Rag Mama Rag (Listen to video) is a great statement about women. Was he complaining that his mistress was on her period and didn’t want to have sex? Or was she just always bitching about something?
Who cares? It’s one of my favorite songs.
Levon was a great drummer. Right up there with the unappreciated Ringo Starr and Charlie Watts. I tried my best to be like them. Not the show off drummer, but the heart of the band. I realized I could never compete with the great drummers everywhere, but I could do what Levon did. Feel, the music, enhanced the music of the other musicians, and make people dance.
The heart beats strong. And you’d better dance while you can.
I paid the price with hands so big from years of drumming, my son once said I had the hands of an eighty -year- old (I was 29 at the time)and he was right. I can see my veins now punching out like an old prizefighter. Not pretty for any girl…but there you go.
Levon died last week, but …it’s okay. He’s still here. He’s singing to me right now.
Now, enjoy RAG MAMA RAG…and wonder…Who in the world would think to play a tuba in a rock song?
Only The Band. They were one of a kind.
(The Bourbon is 100 proof, it’s you and me and the telephone….!!)
When Stars Are Born…
Nobody Flashes
I don’t usually watch American Idol, or any of the various talent shows on TV…and the last time I listened to opera was when my mother’s favorite singer Luciano Pavarotti sang AVA MARIA right before he died.
And it’s not often that true talent beyond the stars is born…but check this out. These two..ordinary looking Nobodies are going to be filling up our lives with joy for years to come.
Nobody means to follow politics, and I will— but I will ALWAYS share the positive things in life with you! And this night, it’s a glorious song.
ENJOY!
(Thanks to J.R.)
Nobody Cares About Davy Jones
Nobody Cares
Davy Jones of the Monkees died today. Somewhere in my basement I have a few of their albums. Really…I always felt sorry for these guys, because even though the songs they put out were always kinda …bubble gum teenage marshmallow kinds of stuff..they were at least fun and singalongable. Those guys were relentlessly attacked by just about everybody. And they remained pretty nice guys through it all.
I’m only posting this because I wanted to show everyone…see that drum set in the video? That’s a silver- sparkle Ludwig. (I know..JOYANNA…NOBODY CARES!) That was my first drum set and I still have it, and I got mine long before the Micky. Here I am in my first band playing in the BLUE BULL LOUNGE in Kansas City. I won’t tell you how long ago this was taken, but let’s just say, if you’re a musician, you can just look at the speakers and guess.
I’ve been offered a lot of money for that set. I bought mine at the very famous Frank’s Drum Shop in Chicago…and I was told that Louie Bellson used to give lessons on it when he worked at Frank’s.
Also notice that Peter Tork, the keyboard player…is not doing what he should be doing in this video..where he plays his solo and it’s just funny! Micky Dolenz is barely hitting the drums. Of course they were lip synching– but it’s just really nutty that they left it in.
I always thought as people, these guys were very polite, and nobody liked hearing the news today that Davy Jones died…Nobody really Cares…but really, at 66— he was much too young.
I might just go sneak a look at my old albums…and put a few on..and yes, I still have my old record players. ARE you kidding?
(FYI..that was a poloroid…another clue)
Nobody Flashes…Old School Talent
Nobody Flashes
It’s Sunday! I’m taking the day off…but check this out. It’s Little Richard when he was a kid in some old movie…and I had no idea that he was playing so young. Boogie-Woogie bass lines are not easy to do even for an adult. Anyway, Enjoy!
(Thanks to JR)
Obama’s New Theme Song…
Nobody Flashes
We need something to cheer us up, right? I can sincerely tell you that after I heard Obama suggest today that he wants us to promote algae as a new fuel source…and he was SERIOUS…I needed to have a cocktail. This video always makes me laugh. I am at this moment…drinking a glass of wine. I plan to save all the algae I see–collect it in a big box, and send it to Washington.
Here’s a Nobody’s Suggestion for Obama’s theme song. (I’m not so innocent)
If you haven’t seen Craig Ferguson, then your life is sad, and I strongly suggest you hang it up. Whatever you want to hang up. It won’t matter.
ENJOY!
And Now—A Word From Our Sponsor
Our Sponcer today: It’s SUNDAY! Take a guess!
This video was taken at the Doyle Lawson Bluegrass Festival at Denton Farm Park in Denton, NC on May 5, 2011. During the song, a small bird lands on Josh’s guitar while he’s singing, and the man doesn’t miss a note.
Now THAT’s a professional. Not to mention, he pets it, and sings to it, and it’s just the most amazing thing. You’ll be looking around for Walt…Walt Disney.
Oh..it’s about as good as bluegrass can get! This is such a rare moment I can’t help but think of some higher power playing in this somehow. Because the bird…starts chirping!
Enjoy!
The NEXT Superbowl Act….
Nobody Flashes
So, how is the next artist going to beat Madonna’s Superbowl Cleopatra extravagant next year? FIRST: Don’t have any diva’s who want to get attention do nasty things to offend us, and second—
I suggest about 4,000 guitar players hooked up to lighting bolts coming down from the center of the field in Faraday suits!
Wouldn’t that be cool?
Okay, maybe a little too dangerous. …but it would be fun.
We’re All Working Class Heros
Nobody Cares
I grew up with the Beatles. Like most young girls, Paul was my favorite, but the older I get, I find myself admiring John. John was really more of the intellectual…and if stories from history are right, he was the leader from the start. Somewhere after Yoko came into his life, he just let Paul take it over, as we all saw on Let It Be. Not that he could help himself…not many humans on the planet are blessed with that much raw creativity.
Still…this song is haunting. It’s simple…and like every true great piece of art…it evokes real emotion. Like the words or not…to many people on the planet, who get up, go to work, and try to fit in, and yet know, deep inside they are just passing the days because…they have to, feel connected to this song. This is one of my favorite songs by him.
I still love the soothing sound of John’s voice. …even to this day, I thank Tom Edison for giving us the gift of ‘recorded sound.”
A lot of bad things came out of my generation, but the BEATLES…was not one of them. In fact, we were blessed to be witnesses to the genius of John, Paul, George, Ringo, and Martin.
I was GOING to post Dylan’s Master of War next to this…but I just couldn’t spoil John.
Enjoy.
Hey, Cut Steve Tyler Some Slack
Nobody Knows
What in the world is the big deal about Steven Tyler’s rendition of our National Anthem? Really. He’s a ROCK singer. His voice is shot from screaming at the top of his lungs for decades. Anyone who has ever tried to sing over ear-shattering decibals of electric guitars, miked drums, and massive PA systems, not to mention, screaming fans, should cut the guy some slack.
As far as I can tell, he was trying hard. His scream was because he doesn’t have the capacity to HIT that note, and so, he just screamed, as he does often, to cover up the fact that his voice is just shot.
Unlike all the women in the last few years…he got the words right…and for that he’s a patriot.
Really. And, that doesn’t mean he can’t judge good talent. He knows enough..good god.
He had more than paid his dues, and his voice is shot, because he was singing long ago, before technology gave the singer the advantages that it does today, and that’s why I’m shocked his vocal chords have lasted this long. I wouldn’t want to see his vocal chords up close…I can guareentee you it would not be pretty.
As Gene Simmons would say: At least he sang it live…it wasn’t taped.
Let’s Face the Music
Nobody Flashes Fred Astaire
Nobody was watching this movie today, and this dance with Fred and Ginger left me breathless. Fred was a genius when it came to innovating. That kind of grace you will NEVER see on Dancing With the Stars.
If you do, call me. Fred and Ginger had what you call: grace. And they danced with “feeling” and that’s what made them artists. You just don’t see that anymore anywhere.
The first video is the modern version done by Robert Palmer…and the bass is killer. He did a great job updating it, and adding the dance scences…but…
Here’s the original: It literally broke my heart: the beauty of this timeless piece of art: the way he is going to kill himself, and she is going to kill herself, and then…well, you have to be a hopeless romantic to miss the days of long ago when women dressed and men dressed and they…held each other close and danced. It fit perfect with much that is going on. Life is tough: Let’s face the music and dance.
Tonight I was in the arms of Fred Astaire….you can be in the arms of Ginger. It only takes a little imagination: Enjoy.

