Nobody’s Perfect: Detroit VS St. Louis
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have two mid-western cities to compete against each other for the Nobody’s Perfect award of the week: The City of Detroit VS the City of St. Louis. Or the City of Cars VS the City of Beer, which nether city manufactures anymore. (Internationally owned beer companies do NOT count.)
Let’s begin:
Detroit:
As reported on the Drudge report, Detroit can barely keep it’s city lights on. The once thriving automobile manufacturing center of the United States is so bankrupt, it not only cannot keep it lights on, it can’t fix the broken ones. By some estimates over 50 percent of the city’s lights have been broken, or pillaged for their metal. Added on to this lovely heaven of darkness given to the hard-core criminals, you have an unemployment record so egregious that if Jimmy Hoffa knew, he would come out of his cement grave to throw hit men as big as Jubba the Hut at the CEO’s fat heads. Henry Ford would crawl out of his Model T and get his friend Thomas Edison to shut down the whole city, and move everyone to Ft. Myers, Florida and start over.
Too bad we can’t resurrect them. (When are they going to get on that cloning?)
From the Detroit News:
Like many swaths of the city, the historic Indian Village neighborhood has remained largely dark at night after vandals destroyed transformers in nearly every streetlight pole that powers them. On a recent rainy day, Wicks, 64, a retired GM engineer who has lived in Detroit for decades, watched as city Public Lighting workers put new transformers at the top of the aging wooden poles. Just days later, those streetlights were out — again.
BUT…crime is down in Detroit. No longer do the locals run out on Halloween and set fire to buildings. They now have better things to do, like play video games on their giant HD TV that they got because Obama gave them all money. Detroit was once the most dangerous city in the United States, but no more…that fine badge of honor has now been passed to the city of St. Louis.
St. Louis:
Yes, St. Louis is considered the most dangerous city in the United State and I can tell you for a fact, that if you are looking for drugs and are stupid enough to go downtown at night, it won’t matter how many lights are on, you will be shot. They will even smile up at the many camera’s and wave while they’re shooting you. Our city is proud to have great lights, it’s North County St. Louis, where I now reside, that is losing its lights because that’s where all the people from the City moved to.
Are you kidding? The only thing downtown is the arch, the baseball stadium, and when the moon is right…drunks looking to get over to Illinois.(They can only see by moonlight,)
All the blacks from the city moved to North County, (and the whites moved out) and it’s here that we have a problem that hasn’t seem to hit Detroit…wild packs of dogs—who will not only will rip your throat out, you will become a bucket of KFC for the whole family. Cousins of Michael Vicks’ family must live here, because most of these dogs are BIG dogs. And therefore the kids can’t walk to school or home without carrying some kind of golf club or rocket launcher.
A young boy was attacked and nearly eaten alive by wild dogs in North St. Louis. City leaders are scrambling to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Aldermanic President Lewis Reed is sounding the alarm. “I’ve witnessed packs of dogs, 10 and 15 dogs running together, and I’ve seen all these dogs I’m talking about they don’t have collars, they don’t have tags, these are truly wild dogs.” he said.
Nobody wants to know: Well, Lewis…are you going to do anything about it? Oh, I forgot, the human society was closed due to loss of city funding. 
Nobody Knows that it’s a hard decision: Which town is more…worthy of its declining reputation? On the one hand, Detroit’s darkness leads to a safe haven for anyone who wants to steal more metal from light poles…and whatever else they can find.
On the other hand, St. Louis has monster dogs, that can attack you anytime of the day or night. Some might say you are safer inside your house with these attack dogs prowling your neighborhood, but then again..wasp spray is pretty cheap.
Nobody suggests a solution to the lights and the dogs.
Detroit just gave a jobs fair for all the ex- cons who were looking for work. In fact, prisons all over the United States are letting out their population because feeding someone three great meals a day, with cable, phone, and a master’s degree is money better spent overseas giving children time in Afghanistan schools in which to study Islam. We just sent 46 million to Uganda…come on! And that was last year!
Africa needs the money more than the people in Detroit. You know that.
Nobody Thinks someone should start a business to hire ex-cons to catch the dogs, train the dogs, and walk the dangerous neighborhoods at night to keep us all safe.
The cops can’t be everywhere.
As a bonus..Muslims HATE dogs, and who needs lights when you have a growling barking dog?
With the money you’d save…you’d have the lights back on in no time. OR..you’d have ex-cons taking over both cities with their trained dog packs. At that point the company CEO would start sending the dogs overseas and the ex-cons would be out of a job again.
Okay Joyanna…what’s plan B?
I’m working on it.
So who won the contest?
St. Louis, because the Cardinals made the World Series and the Tigers didn’t, which was a very good thing because they do NOT HAVE ANY LIGHTS. They had to lose.
(And because Nobody lives here.)
There’s always next year, Detroit…but… don’t get your hopes up.
Do Not Pass Go…Do Not Watch ESPN Football…
Nobody Wins—-
when a President of the United States starts attacking our fine home-grown musicians. It seems Obama could not let well enough alone…Gibson guitar was just the start.
Now, since Hank Williams Jr. made a funny comment comparing President Obama playing golf with Speaker Beohner to Hitler playing with Netenyahu, the liberals couldn’t take it. Hank lost his contract to ESPN.
The message? You do not criticize the President in the United States of America without repercussions. At least the one named Obama.
Hank went and walked out and took all his rowdy friends with him, and that included this nobody.
I suppose the next theme song will be— “Isn’t HE LOVELY..Isn’t he wonderful? Life is O000baaaaamaaaaaa…We just need four year mor’…” by Stevie Wonder.
Where’s “the bear” when you need him?
I’m hanging out at Hank’s house…with his daddy’s gun. ESPN can get Paul McCartney to sing “Live and Let Die” for all I care. I won’t be watching.
Who’s Got the Most Inebriated Drunks? Britain or the USA?
Nobody’s Perfect
Today, after I saw these pictures, I decided that we really need to discuss who can get drunk with more audacity: The kids in the United States, or the kids in Great Britain?
This is really going to be a close call, because you see, despite the pictures that you see of these fine young women who passed out on the streets in Cardiff, England..I think the real reason they fall down is —-those shoes.
American women are much more sensible. When they get drunk, they take OFF their shoes before they fall over. And they also have the common courtesy to not wear underwear. Usually, they don’t stay in the street when they can’t stand up. NO…in America, they go to McDonalds and I-Hop to pass out. They welcome drunks there with open arms, because drunks are usually not paying attention.
Waitress: “Uh…here’s your bill.”
Drunk: “I ordered two hundred dollars worth of food?”
Waitress: “Yep.”
Drunk: “Oh nooooo…here’s my card.”
Yes, they love them.
Does England have a 24-hour breakfast restaurant to go and vomit in? NO…the poor drunk people in England have to sit among the trash to vomit and sober up. American kids vomit in their cars!
It’s another public service we are good at.
Having said that: I know, soccer matches in England are notorious for drunken rivals pouring out of the games and vandalizing whatever gets in their way, but the American men, do NOT wander around…and fight..oh no.They are much smarter. They find the nearest toilet, or table, and sit or “lay” till morning. If they are in a bar, they just pass out on the floor.
If a man passes out in a bar in America their friends will be very careful to step over them on the way to the dance floor…so as not to disturb their slumber. We are…after all, a compassionate people.
Americans are very smart: We have drinking festivals, just like the Germans. Mardi Gras is the place to go to get smashed. There are so many people in the street that it’s impossible to pass out. The person next to you will hold you up just because—he can’t move either. You could not fall down if you tried.
And drunk women in America, will not only take off their big high heeled shoes, they will take off their tops…just ask them!
The real reason that Americans have such an advantage over the Brits is that when it comes to getting drunk, we have got it down to a real actual college course: “Drink till you Drop” 101. This course has been passed by every freshman since the boys at Harvard starting getting drunk and going naked. At Harvard, Drinking has been evolved into a very fine art.
Over the years fraternities have perfected: “Get In the Bathtub” fruit punch, the “Knock her out” fruit punch, the “Alpha Pi Me” fruit punch” and the “Final Exam” fruit punch” The last being the most popular so that when you flunk your exams you have a good excuse.
Most college grads in America know how to pour every alcohol beverage ever made into a bathtub and comatose at least 50 people at once. The recipe to Purple Passion has been more guarded than the formula to Coca Cola.
Let the Chinese beat us in math. WE have drinking games! Our young people do “shots” games, and many try to pass out from the sheer fun of having someone pour vodka down their throats. American parents actually give beer parties and “watch” their kids pour beer down their throats till they pass out. It’s the least they can do for the little darlings.
Yes, American parents are keeping the high school drunks off the streets until they go to college, where they will have safe dorm rooms to pass out in. Love goes a long way.
But…there is one thing that even this Nobody has no way of measuring properly. Who urinates in the street more after a sporting event: The USA or England?
That’s another lovely side effect of drinking: alcohol usually exits when you least expect it to.
I don’t mean to brag, but every night across America, at sports stadium in every city, the men come out, and piss wherever they can find a spot. Most of the time, on someone else’s car. There is no way that England can beat the drunk Americans in using the ground as their public toilet.
OR…can they?
Having said that: We MUST give the British credit for one thing: How to get drunk and go rousing the storefronts.
Yes, now we have the American black teenagers doing the “flash mobs” going into local mini marts and stealing whatever they want. and most of these people are …
Dare I say it? Sober.
Pathetic. We will lose our edge if we keep this sober business up.
But, have faith— Americans are trying very hard to make soccer matches popular her in the states. And if that happens, the Brits might as well move here, because they will never beat us at getting sloppily drunk and falling over at the nearest sidewalk.
(Nobody Does NOT make this pitiful stuff up, but she certainly can make fun of it. Be glad I didn’t write a serious piece about this…You might have to go have a drink.)— (thanks to amfortas)
Nobody’s Perfect, but four more years of Obama, and I expect more of the same.
High School Pregnancies–And Nobody LOVES Babies…
Nobody Wins
Here’s the situation that happened to my friends neighbors’ just last week:
A young girl not yet out of high school, got pregnant. Her parents of course were frantic…the father hadn’t worked in over a year, and the mother was somehow feeding the family with her meager wages. There were two other younger children to feed. And then, the sixteen -year-old gets pregnant. Good people, decent hardworking people, and then..this. (Sarah Palin) could relate. So, they sat down with the young couple, (luckily it was not a one night stand) and they all decided that the best thing to do was to have the baby and let it be adopted.
The day came, for the baby to be born, and she came out beautiful, and healthy, and the adopted mom was all excited..and this is where they made the mistake in my Nobody’s Opinion. They let the real mother hold the child, and take pictures! I mean, come on. That’s not at all fair to the adopting parents. And that’s not fair to the real mother either….to hold it and have to let it go? They know about the “bonding” process in hospitals and they let this happen?
Nevertheless, that day, the real mother seemed to be handling it well. Not so much… the father.
I was sitting at my friend’s house when the man (new grandfather) came in the door the next day, all excited. He had finally found a two- week job out of town. This could not have come at a better time, because he had to prove he had work before they were allowed to keep the baby, and get federal funding, like Medicaid. Yes— the young couple, who were not married and not even out of high school decided to keep the baby. Grandma, Grandpa, and the U.S, taxpayer would basically be feeding another mouth.
And sadly, this is happening everywhere. Sex is sold to our kids before they even get out of kindergarten, what do you expect?
Getting pregnant in high school seems to be all the rage. In Memphis, Tennessee, 86 students at Frayser High School are pregnant or have given birth in the last year. Illegitimate births for all Americans have risen from 26% in 1990 to 46% today. Among Hispanics it’s 53%, blacks, it’s 73%, and 29% among whites.
All these illegitimate births of course, are being life-supported by the state. It might be Hillary’s utopia, but to the rest of the hard-working people– it’s not fair. Grandma will not get her hip surgery because Jose has four little babies by three different women. And it’s only going to get worse.
This from Phyllis Schlafly
The economist Robert J. Samuelson recently concluded that “the welfare state is winning the budget war.” The bipartisan budget deal, which slashed our military budget but kept welfare-state handouts mostly off limits, turned out to be “a triumph of the welfare state over the Pentagon.” The Heritage Foundation reports that 77 types of federal means-tested handouts already cost $522 billion per year before Obama took office. He increased this giant amount to $697 billion per year in the first half of his term, and now half of Americans depend for their living expenses in whole or in part on government handouts paid by the other half who pay income taxes.
Subsidies to women who have no husbands in the house, is going to ruin us all. The “War on Poverty” was lost at its inception. It’s the reason 73% of blacks have no husbands. Thanks so much Lyndon.
I’m not sure, because I don’t know, what will happen with this young couple. Most will predict that the father will eventually leave, the mother might have to drop out of school..but we forget. In the old days, families had a lot more kids, and they all worked together to raise the kids. Grandma’s, cousins, brothers, sisters—it’s nothing new.
How do I put this? To me, it’s too cruel to the baby for a mother to give it up to another mother, unless she is on her death bed. A baby is not like an old coat…it’s a responsibility. You got pregnant when you didn’t expect it—you’re not married? You’re too young? Then you just dealt yourself a hard blow. You think if you gave up that baby, you will go on to college and your whole life is ahead of you…and …
I’m here to tell you…nothing in life will ever be as important or bring you more pleasure that that child. I don’t care if you went on to be Oprah Winfrey.
And besides. The odds of this girl getting out of the lower class that she is in, is pretty low even if she didn’t have the baby. It has nothing to do with her: We are NOT the same America. I could get into WHY we aren’t the same America..but it would take a book, at least. The liberals have worked hard to destroy the “man” and the “family” and the “Ten Commandments” …just for their own political utopia of the state raising the babies.
Most importanly in this case though…the father wants her and the baby. That’s the best news of all. And look at her…isn’t she just the most precious?
And speaking of babies…did you know the youngest mother on record was only five? (Go ahead..check Snopes!) Her son lived to be forty.
Also, everything you always wanted to know about baby stats is shown below. Just think, every 7 seconds another cute little bundle is waiting to come forth, burp, and then smile! Who doesn’t love babies?
Nobody loves them all.
Smut Peddlers Who Care…
Nobody Remembers
Larry Flynt came out this week and offered his usual $1 million dollars to anyone who had any kind of sex with Rick Perry. Rick must feel honored. He got offered MORE than Casey Anthony. Larry only offered her $500,000 to pose nude in his magazine. Nobody Remembers that this is not the first time Larry has tried to get the dirty digs and ruin the political careers of Republicans, although, Nobody Remembers that Larry once ran for political office as one, years ago.
No doubt, wearing a Halloween mask.
Back in 1998, Bob Livingston, Speaker of the Republican House, resigned after he heard that Hustler had the goods on him. At the time Larry was helping out his old outhouse buddy, Bill Clinton, and did a fine job at it too. After all, Bill was not the only one having “affairs” with Cuban cigars. Bill sent his bull-dog out to get the Republicans, and he did.
This is all so Mafia…really. Liberals hang around in the same circles of smut. Therefore, there is that natural attraction. They probably even sniff each other’s butts. (Okay, these images come into my mind when I see Larry’s picture..I instantly think: Dog–sorry.)
Larry is die-hard, bi-polar, atheist, Democrat— although he once professed to be an evangelical Christian after meeting Jimmy Carter’s sister. And for all his babbling about ‘free speech rights,’ the Democrats won’t even let you utter a word that they do not agree with. But THEY can call you Nazi, raciest, and bigot.
Republicans have no free speech rights, but Larry doesn’t care as long as they buy his magazines and go to his clubs. He is THE poster boy for the Democratic Club of whores if I may add.. and will do anything to help them out. Why he is not trying to find dirt on Mitt Romney tells you at least, that he considers Mitt a man of his liking. 
Poor Larry. He was raised by his mother and grandmother in extreme poverty and therefore grew up and started strip clubs, no doubt caused by the absence of a father. (Nobody makes this psychological stuff up.) He started the Hustler Magazines because his strip clubs were losing money (during Jimmy Carter’s recession) and so, to pay for the startup of the magazine, he deferred payments of sales taxes his clubs owned for their “activities.”
He did NOT go to jail. Why is that?
And that’s not all. He was once sentenced to 25 years for organized crime , and served six days. BUT…some great judge did send him to jail once for six months for wearing an American Flag as a diaper.
Nobody would have given him ten years.
After he got out, he was a candidate in the recall election of California Governor Gray Davies, calling himself a “smut peddler who cares.” That just about sums up every speech by every liberal I’ve ever heard. And if that isn’t absurd: Nobody remembers another quote from the great Larry Flynt:
“Just because I publish pornography does not mean that I am not concerned about the social ills that all of us are.”
You have it. According to Larry porn is not a social ill, but WE are. Go tell that to all the people who have been killed by the serial killers who get addicted to it. Not to mention, porn is the biggest money making industry on the planet.
Tell me, why aren’t all these CEO’s of porn on the Forbes 500 lists? Mmmmm? Surely they make more than Warren Buffet. You know they do. I know they do. They just don’t want anyone else to know they do, least we follow the dots.
Now, if Larry wanted to make more than a million: He should make an offer for someone to come up with smut on ‘President’ Obama. Why settle for less money, when you can have MORE Larry?
Think about it. If the Republicans could get smut on Obama they would. So…the logical analysis in my nobody mind on this point of absence by conservatives, is that all smut is owned by democrats.
The Smut Peddlers who care.
President “Wannabe” Obama
Real Americans
Nobody Cares
Me and JQA...
After watching the Republican debate last night, I really didn’t care to watch ‘President’ Obama read his thoughts on how America was going to smash the deficit barrier with green jobs and FDR’s remake of rebuilding our infrastructure. God knows, after all the tornadoes, fires, earthquakes, flyover of Air Force One, Google vacuuming vast volumes of electricity, blackouts, and floods— we do need it, but by the time Obama gets his own ideas off his teleprompter, he will be long gone…Unless of course we get attacked right before the election, which, according to many psychologists who have labeled him a psychotic narcissist dealing with a less than full deck, it’s an attack we could very well expect.
Our lives seem to go on, and America is like a runaway train, heading for a major collision, like in the movie “Unstoppable.” Sure it could be stopped, but with Timmy Giethner at the helm, it’s not likely to happen. Somebody call Denzel Washington…maybe HE could tell Obama to put on the brakes. (good movie. )
Anyway, I wanted to tell a small story about my trip to the famous Arch. The “Gateway to the West.” The steel monument that is a favorite stop for Indiana vacationers, and anyone else who has a bucket list of tall stuff to visit.
Arch of St. Louis
I went with my friend Pattie, who weighs all of 2 pounds, and my husband. The elevator to the top fits only five people. Its shaped like an egg, and you go up the leg, and then get out, and climb about fifty steps and there you are at the top. It’s a pretty quick trip.
The top (see fuzzy picture) is not too big. And there we were, leaning over and looking at the one small riverboat below, when I heard it: someone was singing, in a loud voice, and in a language I didn’t even recognize. I was trying to talk to my friends, and I said.
- Me at top of Arch
“I don’t know, I can’t hear you because someone just feels like singing!”
Then, a middle age lady came over to me and whispered..”He’s saying his prayers..shssss” as if…as if..I should understand that in America, if someone wants to sing loud prayers annoying everyone at the top of the arch, we need to respect that.
As I looked over, there he was: a black man in a white Muslim dress..you know, all the way down to his feet, and a pretty little hat, all lined in some kind of gold trim. You didn’t have to use much instinct to know that this guy was TRYING to annoy us all. His giveaway? The grin on his face, and the fact that he was praying to San Francisco, not Mecca. Not that San Francisco doesn’t need prayers.
On the way down, we happened to get a couple in the elevator who were so fat, they both took up three seats, and didn’t even want us to get in. We could have said “Sure, we’ll catch the next one.” but I was not going to spend another two minutes listening to Michael Muslim yodel. Good thing Pattie weights 2 pounds.
When we got back down again, we saw the “Muslim” walking with his girlfriend, holding hands, and she had on a very pretty shimmering outfit, very Las Vegas style— Muslim wannabes.
If I had to do it over again, I would have broke into the National Anthem. In fact, next time I see a Muslims praying, that’s exactly what I intend to do—which brings me back to the Republican debates and Obama.
When asked about immigration, Rick Santorum, Republican candidate from Pennsylvania, went into his Italian mother and father coming over and we should welcome all immigrants, yada, yada, yada,…failing to mention that his parents learned English, and did not get instant Social Security, full medical benefits, and a free college education. Many Mexicans are not assimilating, and neither are the Muslims.
And with a President Wannabe, who has shown no intention whatsoever of becomiing a real American…what else can we expect?
Nobody’s Perfect, No. 2: Bernice King VS Michelle Bachmann
Nobody’s Perfect
Let me say right off: The reason I posted Michelle’s big blooper on “Elvis’s birthday” (when it was actually the day he died) was because, I have wasted too much time searching for the “mistake” that Bernice King made at the MLK memorial ceremony. She said that President Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence, which was equally as amazing.
So, let’s compare: Michelle is running for the Presidency. Should she know Elvis’s birthday? Some people might say that Elvis was just as important to America as Martin Luther King. My neighbor for one. Is Elvis’s birthday going to effect her dicisions in the White House? Probably not. The only person insulted by this really idiotic mistake would be Elvis fans.
And then, we have Bernice King, who reads right through her speech at the memorial for her father and says that Abraham Lincoln signed The Declaration of Independence.
Excuse me? Did Popeye sign The Constitution? Did Jesse Jackson tour with the the Dave Clark Five? Was it the white people who sold their fellow countrymen to slavery? Did Obama say the United States has 57 states?
Oh..well,—yes he did…and he went to HARVARD.
Was Daddy King so busy marching for civil rights that he forgot to teach his kids anything? One thing King’s children DO know how to do is milk the taxpayers. The Kings have been making big money off their daddy’s name for years, and this memorial was no exception.
What bothered me the most was her comparing Lincoln “sitting down” and MLK “standing up.” (See video here) What was she saying? The blacks will rule everyone in the future. Hang in there. Someday, Martin Luther King will write the NEW Declaration of Black Independence, where diversity is mandated to mean that every black will get hired before every white, as is their American right, and I suppose that it will be said by future KINGS that Abraham Lincoln signed that too.
Nobody is bothered by this: John Adams and his son John Quincy Adams, the ONLY founders who refused to own slaves, and fought every single day for the blacks to be free against the Democrats in the Congress, still have no memorial. Without JQA, the subject of slavery would have never been discussed. Think how history would have been effected.
The Adams’ have only a mere few quotes on the side of the Smithsonian, which by the way, Bernice King should be thankful about because it was JQA who dreamed of the Smithsonian and held the money donated for the Smithsonian from Congress to be used, only for that purpose.
Imagine if JQA had been President, in modern times, Social Security would never have been touched. If not for him, the mall wouldn’t even had existed for future blacks to go visit their memorial. You can bet that if MS King doesn’t know that Lincoln did not sign the Declaration of Independence, she had no clue who John Quincy Adams was. But…she might know Elvis’s birthday…what do you think?
So,—What gal gets the most Kudo’s for making statements of ignorance harmful to the nation?
Nobody Thinks— you already know.
One last Nobody remark: Many are forgiving both these women for just being “nervous.” Michelle, I think, has apologised.— Has Bernice?
What Would Dizzy Dean Say?
Nobody Wonders
A Day of Baseball and other Thoughts.
Once upon a time, in a new land called New York…cricket was played in all the schoolyards. The game of cricket was THE game of the new country until 1855. And then, it happened—in 1845 a group of upper class men would get together and play the new game of “baseball.” They called themselves the New York Knickerbockers. And they stood remembered proudly, until that fatal day that the New York Nines beat them 23-1.
And what a beating! The fans were hooked. Here was a game where competition was the name…winner and loser. Battles on the diamond. Mano e Mano.. New York went wild, and the new country of America was hooked.
When the Civil War came the game of baseball spread all over the country. (They had to do something in-between battles.) Soon, there were hundreds of clubs, and so the love of baseball began, but didn’t really become obsessive until one very drunk man stepped up to the plate, and set the record of home runs for one season. Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs in 1927, a record he held until 1974 when Hank Aaron broke it.
The new game of baseball reflected the new great nation. A nation who thought it could do anything, win any war, defeat any enemy.(and they DID!) ..and the men on the old teams represented the best of us. The men of baseball were heroes. REAL heroes. And no boy was a boy without a baseball card collection.
And so, the great stadiums went up, and the black leagues were formed and then the women leagues. And then, the night games. We were on a roll.
During the WWII, right here in St. Louis…we had Dizzy Dean and Stan Musical. My grandmother named her last son after Dizzy Dean, (that’s my best friend, Pattie, standing next to Dizzy’s statue) so crazy was she about baseball, and he went on to play in the Cardinals minors. This sort of stuff happened all over the country. 
Men and women lived their lives around the New York Yankees, the Boston Red Socks, and the oldest organized club, the Chicago Cubs. All the cities had a team to compete, and on late summer nights, after work..there was always the game, and the beer. It was a great way to unite a country.
Now— we have Facebook.
So what happened to it? Like the country, baseball has changed.
The last time I had attended a game, was at the old Roman Coliseum looking Stadium, Busch Stadium, since tore down– in downtown St. Louis. It was a couple of years after Mark McGuire (a Cardinal) had slugged out a home run race against Sammy Sousa. (A Cub) He finally broke the home run record of Roger Maris, by hitting 62 home runs in a season…it was in a game against the Cubs in 1998.
Nobody would say, that was the day, the baseball music died.
It was the McGuire-Sosa homerun race that got the fans back into the stands after the baseball strike. But, when the nation found out that the record was broken with the help of steroids, (and smaller infields) the magic went out of the game. Baseball players, we found out, were just like our politicians….They lie, and they cheat. They were no longer our heroes.
The Mark McGuire highway has been changed back to the Mark Twain highway. The only thing interesting about the game, after the great strike of 1994, was the home run. No more double-steals. No more pitching matches. It was a suffering 4 hours and I couldn’t wait to get home that day.
I swore I’d never go to another game. BUT….free tickets? Okay, I wanted to see the new stadium at least once. Downtown we went, my friend Pattie and I, to the NEW stadium. 
There I was sitting in an air-conditioned mall of restaurants and bars at a Cardinal afternoon game. As I admired the fact that while my friend Pattie and I could have any cuisine in the world: Chinese buffets to gourmet submarines sandwiches,— with any cocktail we could imagine, while sitting in an air conditioned comfortable 77 degrees, while watching the hundreds of HD screen TVs.. I realized that
…the game was STILL an utter bore.
The time it took to get from the first inning to the second, you could have taken an elevator to the top of the Empire State Building, got out, walked around, came back down, and it would still have been the bottom of the first, no runs, no hits, no men even chewing gum.
Really.
Here were men, being paid millions to entertain, and about all they did was walk out to their positions, and walk back. They were lame. The crowd was lame, and it seemed this brand new ballpark was all about the concessions and the liquor, where you can practically spent your next month’s car payment on a few drinks and a meal.
A bottle of ice tea was over five dollars. A bottle of beer…eight. The price of a decent ticket? Enough to feed a family for a week.
Of course, there were still baseball fans, I saw them sitting out in the heat, with looks of hope in their eyes, but who were these people I thought? We lost 9 to 3. I had more fun watching my dog sleep this morning.
Every time our big slugger Pujols came up to the plate, he caused about as much excitement as a water beetle having sex. He struck out twice, and not even with any effort on his part.
I would have given anything to go back to the days where the men hustled off the plates, and each moment was exciting.
But now, they pose for commercials. You don’t have to move too fast to pose.
Watching our team on the field, It was as if the teams reflected our politicians in Washington. Overpaid…and spoiled, and just plain, incompetent.
As we were leaving early we saw some guy with a McGuire tee shire on his back, walking behind us.
“So, you’re a Mark McGuire fan?” I asked.
“I used to be.” he said.
Yeah, I couldn’t have said it better myself. I used to be a baseball fan. Now the game is a place to eat and drink, and talk to your friends. I wonder if anyone else feels the same way?
Baseball is not what it used to be, but then again, neither is our country.
If Spiderman is Gay, Does that mean that Flash is the FTD Florist?
Nobody’s Absurdities, No. …92
It’s been a while since I did an absurdity, and I can’t think of anything better to start up again with than the new Spider Man comic book character.
He’s black, he’s Spanish…and like Stan Lee himself..he might be gay.
First off: Besides the obvious social engineering aspects of creating a character to influence upcoming young minds…I find it an insult. Not that young Latinos, Blacks and Gays shouldn’t have superheroes in their comic books, they should have all that they can muster.
What bothers me, is—Why continue a WHITE guy from Brooklyn, kill him off, and change the character into a politically correct new B/S/G being?
Why not invent a whole new comic character? It’s like saying, “Hey, get rid of the white guy, it’s the black/Latino/gay turn now. ”
It’s pretty plain: money. They already have the whole Spiderman thing copyrighted, trademarked, merchandized,— and Stan Lee is according to most gay sources…gay himself. But…then why did Stan Lee have to go to the gay area, when all these years he has kept his superheroes very hetersexual?
Most of us have had, and do have gay friends: We love them..they are in our families, our jobs, our beauty parlors. BUT, they are not the majority of the people. The reality is: we don’t want a gay superhero, not because we all hate gays, but simply because it’s human nature to want to identify with the superhero…and if that superhero is GAY, it very hard for a heterosexual to get into it.
Make of it what you will…but many people associate gay with: the softer side. Having said that, the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, who we were told was gay, and acted very masculine, much to everyone’s surprise, just got married to a woman, and it’s not the first time he married a woman. So, he was NOT gay, but they told us he was. Why is that again?
Spiderman has always been for kids. Why even mention his sexuality? We hurt the whole society by forcing little kids to learn about the difference between gays and straights, and its being done in all our schools without the parent’s consent. They don’t be even need to thinking about “sex” at a young age.
But that doesn’t matter. The purpose is to get all kids used to the gays…and perhaps, making more of them in the future. Not to mention, get the blacks to assimulate with the Spanish.
This– let’s make everybody gay, and gay is the new normal–-is going to backlash someday, as it has in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Some heterosexuals want to have a “Heterosexual Day” parade.
Sao Paulo Mayor Gilberto Kassab must sign the legislation for it to become law and has said only that he is studying it. His office declined Wednesday to say whether he supports the proposal. The legislation’s author, Carlos Apolinario, said the idea for a Heterosexual Pride Day is “not anti-gay but a protest against the privileges the gay community enjoys.” In a recent report, the gay rights group Grupo Gay da Bahia said 260 gays were murdered last year in Brazil, up 113 percent from five years earlier.
And why it that? Just your typical gay-hating going on? Nope. Every year in Brazil all the gays of the world come down and put on their pretty girl costumes…and the straights are tired of it. What’s fair is fair.
Will we get the same thing here in America, a few heterosexual parades?
Can Spiderman swallow an elephant?
No, but we will get the New Spiderman: who will, you can be sure, have a MUCH prettier costume, have a Spanish name, and no doubt be able to rap while he’s spinning spider webs.
Will Mary Jane Now become Merry John?
Nobody Thinks the new Spiderman will be the biggest hit next year in Brazil, just in time for the Olympics.
What do you think?
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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