Nobody’s Email: Shark Tank VS ISIS
Nobody Gets Email
I don’t watch much SNL anymore, but I do watch Shark Tank. In fact, I’m going to see Daymond John next week here in St. Louis.
This was pretty funny.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Anthony)
Nobody Gets Email: Americans Retain Their Sense of Humor…
Nobody Flashes another Email
Can we somehow keep our sense of humor this weekend, while George Soros continues his communist takeover?
Okay! Here’s some fun pics from my friend Kris
Nobody’s Email: Kid Shows Tiger Woods How to Get a Hole-in-One
Nobody Gets Email:
Wow…I haven’t even been writing anything and I’m more stressed than EVER! The attacks on Trump have been so over the wall, you would think he actually gave nuclear weapons to Iran!
Wait. Wrong guy.
Anyway…here’s a kid who will give you a reason to smile.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Kim Komando)
Nobody’s Email: Muslims get the MOST out of their Goats.
Nobody Gets Email
My liberal friend J.R. just sent this to me….It’s not only the women that aren’t safe…neither are goats.
Double indemnity for goats. First they get fucked by some asshole human then they get killed because of it. The same deal the human female followers of this “truly” compassionate religion get…
Nobody’s Perfect: Kanye West VS Jeb Bush
Nobody’s Perfect:
This week, was an EASY pick…both of them suffer from overblown egos…which I think we can blame on their mothers. (at least in one case)
This week it’s Kanye VS Jeb…or black man who can’t talk VS white man who can’t talk.
Let’s start with Kanye West. Right off, let me say, that I have only heard about 30 seconds of Kanye West doing a rap. It only took 30 seconds for me to decide that Kanye was like a bad case of Herpes. You would never want to see more than one outbreak.
And this week, Kanye skipped the cell phone call, and let the world know he was $53. million dollars in debt…and did he ask a BLACK guy for money? NO! A white guy.
In other unhinged behavior, after tweeting he was $53 million in debt this week, Kanye begged, “Mark Zuckerberg invest 1 billion dollars into Kanye West ideas.” He then declared of himself on Monday, in the third person, “He is the greatest living artist and greatest artist of all time,” and tweeted at Google co-founder Larry Page, “I’m down for your help too.”
And he didn’t stop there…he’s actually proud of being in debt, because you see, he believes he is the greatest living human being on the planet, and his “ideas” need money. If Zuckerberg refuses will Kanye say he’s racist? Why else would he ask for money on Twitter?
“I love love love white people but you don’t understand what it means to be the great grandson of ex slaves and make it this far.”
West also singled out The New York Times, Rolling Stone and Pitchfork as “white publications” that should not be writing about black music.
On the other side of the week, Jeb Bush was having so much trouble in the polls, that he had to drag out his 90-year old mom…and drag her all over New Hampshire. And when THAT didn’t work, he dragged out his brother George, who got up and showed us all just how much we don’t want a Bush that can’t even tell a joke.
And if that doesn’t work, the only man left is his Dad, and I expect a funeral that last for about a week should do it. I suggest they just send Dad off to a warm island and SAY he died. Whose going to check the body? Think of the PR that the Bush Family would get, crying over their dad’s coffin.
Do I sound cynical? Ha ha. 🙂
So who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week? Is it Kanye West, who, unlike the rest of us, thinks he can live beyond his means and get welfare from white rich guys BECAUSE his ancestors were slaves, and he likes to spend a million dollars on a leather jacket?
Or is it Jeb Bush, who despite his best efforts, thinks he deserves to be President because he’s a Bush? Or maybe it’s because he really does remember looking up into his mother’s eyes and thanking his good fortune, that he looks more like his cousin.
Well, as much as I attack the Bush family, I’d say Kanye’s wins this week.
So Congratulation Kanye!
You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award of the week for being a total idiotic no-talented bore. You couldn’t even carry Steve Job’s tennis shoes.
Someday, maybe I’ll find the time to research why you think you’re so…great.
Okay. So, maybe I won’t.
TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!
Nobody Flashes
TRUMP WINS! Thank you New Hampshire! 
On another note of joy, I’m taking a few days off…:)
I’ll be back by Friday or Saturday….
Now, excuse me while I go celebrate.
Nobody Flashes NFL Bad Lip Reading
Nobody Flashes
It’s SUPERBOWL WEEKEND!!!
Time for some bad lip reading….before the puppy bowl. Go ahead and watch it on YouTube…really funny. And remember…Krypton, is not a planet.
Enjoy!
Ted, Rubio, Carson and the Aliens in the Room….
Here’s one of the reasons I continue to support Trump: The European leaders have gone mad. Hundreds of women are being raped by the Muslim men who just can’t seem to help themselves to the new utopia of free food, free sex, free room and board, and free rape fests, where they can go enjoy a beer afterwards!.
Obama is bringing these men into our country by the thousands, where he is hoping that the blacks will become Muslims, and the whites will be helpless.
At LEAST we still have our guns, not that is going to help us after the fact.
Chaos is the order for the elites.
I guess they have to destroy it all before they ‘build’ it back up again. If Europe just wanted the free labor, I’m sure they could have gotten them from Mexico. Hey! We’d be glad to ship some of our illegals over….all they had to do was ask. 
On another fine afternoon note: It seems fans of Ted Cruz use a Clinton-type dirty political trip to make sure Ted Cruz won the day in Iowa…What’s so Clintonion about this is that Ted Cruz blamed it on CNN!
Of course he did! Ted is learning all the old liberal tricks…like using his children in one of his ads. Long ago, it was the democratic party that MARVELED at the underhanded tricks the Clintons used to get power…and now, the GOP is taking that Bible in hand and slapping back. Bravo Ted! The ends justify the means…right?
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Sen. Ted Cruz apologized for potentially confusing Iowa Republican leaders by suggesting during Monday’s caucuses that rival Ben Carson was dropping out.
Cruz issued the mea culpa after Carson accused him of foul play.
“This was a mistake from our end, and for that I apologize to Dr. Carson,” Cruz said in a statement Tuesday.
Cruz won the Iowa caucuses; Carson came in distant fourth.
Cruz said the mixup began after his staffers saw an online CNN story saying Carson “was not carrying on to New Hampshire and South Carolina,” an apparent reference to an article about Carson’s plans to head home to Florida after the Iowa caucuses.
I didn’t listen to all the pundits today, I watched the Jerry Springer Show. It was like I never turned off FOX.
Nobody’s Email: Christianity by Dave Allen
Nobody Gets Email
We could all use a good laugh…no matter what you think about the church and religion, sometimes it’s good to just sit back and make fun of ourselves.
This is in the old tradition of Benny Hill. The Brits are crazy sorts.. and make very funny comedians. The best part is his description of Adam and Eve….
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Merger)
Nobody’s Perfect: Drinky VS Japanese Sex Doll
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have two robots invented for lonely souls: Drinky VS Sex Robot (insert..whatever name you want to name her, here:______.)
Yes….America won the war with Japan. But, they came back and destroyed our auto industry. Revenge is sweet. And now, the Japanese are going for the BIGGER American market.
The market of all markets: Sex and booze. They give us: Drinky VS Sex Woman
First up: Some lonely Asian named Eunchan Park was pretty upset that he had to drink alone on Christmas Eve. So, he invented Drinky. A lovable ‘guy’ who will toast you, and drink with you all night long. Best of all, he will listen to all your complaints. Although, he’s not perfect…he can’t stumble down, or throw up with you yet, or tell a good joke, but, give him time.
On the other hand, Japanese men must be having problems finding sexual partners…because some guy got lonely, and wanted a real sex doll to talk to. You COULD buy just a regular rubber sex doll, who should delight you…but this one winks, smiles, nods, and bows.
Wow. A woman who will bow to you! The American men will go insane. Now that Tinder has been exposed as a fraud, it won’t be long before American women will have a hard time finding any man to buy her a drink. Japanese Sex Doll is not perfect yet. I don’t think she can cook breakfast, but I’m not sure that’s important.
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?
Is it Drinky, who will always be there on every holiday to drink with you when nobody else will?
Or is it the Japanese Sex companion? A woman who by all accounts, looks like the REAL thing?
Drinky wins! Why you ask? He’s inexpensive, you can take him everywhere, and compared to the Robot Sex Woman, whose price is over $5,000, not many POOR men can afford her. But the poor drinking man (or woman, and I know a few I could give one of these too) would love to have Drinky sitting on their kitchen table.
On the other hand, Japanese Sex Doll is cheaper than your average divorce, and you can turn her off. Something that you can’t do with most women.
So….Congratulations Drinky! You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week.
Now, I suggest we send the loser to Bill Clinton, he must get VERY lonely.
Nobody Knows in EXACTLY 500 Words
Nobody Knows
Ignorance is everywhere…in fact, it’s the hottest thing going now around the world. So, let’s begin counting up some of the things that in January of 2015, remain a mystery.
Nobody Knows…
—Why they were advertizing the Powerball amount ($550 mil) every hour, and what happens to the money that the government takes from the person who wins… which is well over half….(not including the taxes you pay after the fact) where does it go? To who? To what? Nobody knows.
—If a town that doesn’t have a football team, (The Rams want to move from St. Louis to L.A.) will go ahead and build an empty stadium just so black contractor’s can have a job. Seems to be the case.
–Whose BRIGHT idea it was to tie the international money markets to each other so that if one fell down, everybody else’s did too.
—-If ANYONE will watch the remake of the O.J. Simpson trial on Cable. And WHY?
—If Bernie Sanders really wins the nomination, will he step aside for Hillary?
—-If someone will ask Jeb Bush how he KNOWS that Donald Trump will NOT be President, (He keeps saying it.) because if he does know who the President will be, then the whole process is rigged and Jeb Bush must be part of it.
—Why my friend who works for the Police Department is scared even to tell me what crimes she reported on that day. It’s like she is sworn to secrecy of a secret society and something terrible will happen to her if she even tells me about a traffic accident. And why she doesn’t even think that’s a bit like working in the KGB.
—If the mendacious Hillary will ever tell the truth about anything, and if she is getting Botox.
—How many times I can watch the movie John Wick. (five so far)
—If the reason they keep playing Rocky movies on TV is because nobody is going to see his new one.
—-If Sly is trying to sell his house in Miami, so that he can leave the country so he doesn’t have to pay taxes?
—WHY…it’s okay that Paul Ryan put a bill on Obama’s desk to repeal Obamacare, but when Ted Cruz stood up in the first place to protest it, and NOBODY was there to help him, he was ostracized by every one of them. They all condemned him for doing such a hopeless thing because Obama would veto it. Well…Obama is going to veto Ryan’s bill. WHY is Ryan a big deal and Cruz not?
—How many people are going to die BECAUSE of Obamacare.
Nobody Knows, who took THIS picture?
—Why we aren’t seeing more of the sewage and dead animals from the great flood of the Mississippi rolling down to New Orleans on our news programs?
If you bake an egg, is it really better than boiling it?
—Nobody Knows, If I can write EXACTLY 450 words.
(I did it.)
Iron Zuckerface…Answer the Doorbell.
Nobody Flashes:
“My personal challenge for 2016 is to build a simple AI to run my home and help me with my work. You can think of it kind of like Jarvis in Iron Man. Every challenge has a theme, and this year’s theme is invention.This should be a fun intellectual challenge to code this for myself. I’m looking forward to sharing what I learn over the course of the year.”
Mark Zuckerface announced his New Year’s resolution: He is going to invent a Butler. A machine Butler. Forget those old Mexicans…those are for OTHER rich people. No…if this butler works, and rich people start buying them, than THINK: The Mexicans who work for the rich as cooks, gardeners, maids, and butlers, will be out of a job. What a cruel thing to do!…Putting illegals out of a job, and keeping the American dream forever away from them?
So….why is Mark promoting amnesty and more immigration then, if he is thinking of replacing them all with robots? Well, don’t fret. Mark will need cheap labor from all countries to work for Mark to MAKE those cheap butlers.
Mark added: “I’ll teach it to let friends in by looking at their faces when they ring the doorbell,” he wrote. “I’ll teach it to let me know if anything is going on in Max’s room that I need to check on when I’m not with her.”
Yes, Mark’s new butler will be able to look them in the eye and take their picture, and face scan too.
Of course, only the rich will be able to afford one. Or maybe this is just to make his rich friends jealous. Or he just got bored. Or he thinks he’s really Ironman.
Mark’s butler will be a smashing success for one reason: Mark always wears the same tee-shirt and jeans, and polishing his shoes won’t fry any circuits.
Now…if he can make one for every person on the planet…a robot that will clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundry, pick up dog poop, feed the cat, change the diaper, pick up gumballs, mow the lawn, answer and read out-loud ALL the FACEBOOKS emails from all her friends, take care of ALL Emails and trash jobs..and do all the man jobs that women can’t do….. then woman will forever be grateful.
Until that moment, then, keep inventing Zuckerface. Jeff Bezos is going to Mars, someday…and when he does finally leave, you’ll be King.
Nobody’s Fool: Ted Cruz—Brilliant
Nobody’s Fool
I just watched a video of Hillary Clinton all upset and playing the victim of how mean and nasty Trump is to her…and then I saw this:
What a GREAT ad! Ted Cruz did a “Clinton” trick! He used his beautiful little girls to smack Hillary right in the nose! Brilliant!
And when the press came out and accused him of using his kids like monkeys, Ted Cruz cried “How COULD they? Now they are going after the children!” (paraphrase)
HA HA HA! ..HO HO HO!
I just talked to my sister-in-law who said that both my brother and her are all for Cruz….and if Hillary becomes President, she is moving to the Cayman Islands and getting a job as a maid.
While I still want a Trump/Cruz ticket, mostly because “It’s the economy stupid” and even though Cruz is my second choice…
This IS the best commercial attack ad so far.
So…Congratulations Mr. Cruz! Not only for showing off your adorable children, but giving Hillary the best attack that she DARE not approach.
You win the Nobody’s Fool Award of the week!
And on that note,
I’m off the next two days!…I’ll post some simple stuff, but everybody have the best Christmas ever!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
Comments
Anonymous on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) ronita on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) ronita on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) Mrs. O on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) Joyanna Adams on DAD: It Only Takes a Moment or…
Joyanna Adams 