It’s Official: Rick Perry IS Related to George Bush-Oops!
Nobody’s Fool
Although Rick Perry’s famous blooper of the year will be the only thing talked about tomorrow, what happened at the Republican debate tonight? Let’s listen in with this young student named Johnnie, who had to listen in for his homework tonight—-and see what he thinks.
*******
Wow…listen to that announcement! The rulers of the universe are coming to land in the Enterprise…it’s like the most important contest we will ever be witnessed to…golly, is Luke Skywalker going to run for President? Cool!
Wait…I don’t see him. Who are those three people asking questions? She looks like my teacher.
- Johnnie
Money
Oh…this is about money. Hey, the black guy wants us to keep the dollar. What’s a dollar? Mr. Romney is in the middle again. He looks nice. He cares about Detroit? Where’s that? He’s been married for 25 years…no wait, he’s been married 45 years..uh..oh, he got his numbers mixed up. I’m telling Ms. Ripley…she always says I’m doing that. Jeez.
Taxes
That funny looking guy with the white hair wants to fire Bernanke. Who’s that? Get rid of food stamps. Hey, my mom gets those….Oh, I like that pretty lady..she’s says we’re stuck in taxes. I get stuck with my bike. She wants to repeal Obamacare…what’s that? What’s repeal? Kenny says that Obama doesn’t care…if we repeal Obama will he care?
The black guy just said something about sex. Everybody is clapping. Wait, the man wants to know if Mr. Romney would hire the black man. Everybody booed? Don’t they want Mr. Romney to hire the black man? Maybe he needs a job to get more sex. Mommy says you can buy sex. —I’ll ask Ms Ripley.
Energy
Hey, there’s Mr. Crowley! No…his name is Rick. Wait–there’s that black man again saying 999. He must be a math teacher.There’s a grandpa. He says that some people don’t get any money on their CD’s .HEY…I have a CD…and my brother broke it! Well that’s good. I thought it cost money. People like him. He looks nice.
Wait…someone said something about Dodd-Frank. How can they know about my cousin Doddy Frank? What did he do? (sigh) The black guy is saying 999 again. Is that like 911? Dad dialed 888 the other night on the phone…and started talking funny. He started sweating. The police didn’t come. Will I get firemen if I dial 999?
I’ll ask Ms Ripley. I bet that’s why she wanted us to watch this.
The black man says it will grow the economy..What’s the economy? (sigh) Everybody is clapping so it must be good.
I’m going to put that in my paper…people like to clap at lots of people. She’ll like that. She’s always saying that everyone should be nice.
There’s Mr. Bush. He sure talks funny. Wait, that old guy is saying he can’t answer a question in 30 seconds. I can’t either! I’m going to tell Ms Ripley and maybe she won’t make me talk in class.
The black man is saying 999 again. I can tell my teacher that I watched this, and she will KNOW because I will just stand up in class and say 999! 999! That lady said that somebody gets 2.2 trillion but they spend 3.7 trillion. I’m glad we are still on 55. That sounds like a lot.
There’s a pretty black lady..who says student loans are.. what? The old guy wants the kids to work 90 hours and go to school. I can’t do that! Will I have to go to work to go to school? UHG. I don’t want to work. My dad works and he hates it. I don’t like that old guy.
CHINA The black guy is saying 999 again. The man in the middle with the nice hair says China is not fair. The old guy says China is cheating. Hey, we go to the office if we cheat, but Malea makes me show her all my answers or she puts her gum in my hair.
WAIT…who is that guy? He looks….reeeeally happy. He likes China. I thought China cheated?
The black guy is saying 999 again…I like the black guy. He has a big smile and big white teeth. He says we should get rid of the Dodd-Frank and then get rid of Dodd AND Frank! Ha..ha ha! I’m going to tell Doddy Frank the black guy wants to beat him up. Doddy Frank is a jerk.
Oh-oh. The Bush guy said that he would do three things,and …he forgot the third. I do that ALL the time. I think he in trouble….wow…30 seconds is a long time. (sigh) I’m NEVER going to try to be President…talking for 30 seconds is really stupid.
Give me a break.
****
So, Nobody agrees with our young student here,..give us a break. Rick Perry just handed the Presidency to Mitt Romeny, with his brain lapse’ of not being able to remember the third department he wanted to get rid of, and the older Ron Paul put up five fingers to help him out. It was really funny, in a pathetic sort of way. I’m starting to feel sorry for the man…it’s like he is suffering from too much on his mind and sleep deprived.
Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich made the best showing, with Romney saying all the perfect things that you would never trust in a million years.
And Cain had the best joke of the night…get rid of Dodd-Frank, don’t stop there…get rid of Dodd AND Frank!
Amen!
For the Independents, Ron Paul, and Michelle are very likeable and sincere, and that’s refreshing.
Jon Huntsman is a globalist. His answer on the Chinese was..he will continue the globalization that has put us in this mess, and that makes him a perfect VP for Romney.
Rick? They don’t let him talk much, but he needs to be in the Senate.
And no one on the panel would give it to him.
Who spoke for the American people tonight? For us?
In my Nobody’s Opinion: Ron Paul. Johnnie liked Herman Cain, because he can remember 999 and sex, and I’m sure Johnnie will get an A on his paper!
(Nobody Makes This Stuff up, and I have NO idea who that kid is, but he’s cute.)
Nobody’s Perfect: Dr. Conrad Murray VS The Cleaning Lady
Nobody’s Perfect
This week’s &$*% -ups (minus, of course, Herman Cain’s ongoing sex scandal of the month) are between a Doctor of Medicine, and a cleaning lady, who wishes to remain anonymous, although Nobody wishes she would come forth…I really do.
I’d like to give her a medal for doing the world a favor.
They were both hired to do certain jobs, and they both managed to make some rather big mistakes, according to their peers.
FIRST: We have Dr. Conrad Murray, the Houston cardiologist who watched a pop star named Michael Jackson basically drug himself into the Twilight Zone and beyond daily. Dr. Murray was the “doctor” who would give Michael all the drugs he wanted, and he was paid handsomely for it.
Wait…did I say that?
Was Dr. Conrad…(cough, cough) actually Michael Jackson’s pusher? If ordering about a million gallons of propofol, (the stuff they use to “put” you under for surgery) and then shipping it to your many girlfriend’s houses, where you could pick it up in your brand new sports car is any indication that Dr. Conrad was doing it for the money…then you’d have to say..uh..yeah. Dr. Conrad:pusher.
And that’s what the Jury found: Dr. Conrad was guilty of not doing his job.
A guard said Murray was concerned with packing up and hiding medicine bottles and IV equipment before telling him to call 911. Prosecutors said Murray was distracted while Jackson was sedated, citing Murray’s cell phone records to show he made numerous calls.
Yep. Calling for help was the LAST thing on the good doctor’s mind, because out of the many phone calls he made, not one of them was for “help” when he suspected that Michael was not breathing.
They gave him…four years.
Actually, this Nobody can see the mistake. Michael was obviously an alien. They revealed that little secret in the movie “Men in Black.” Still, even aliens need compassion.
If the doctor goes to jail in California..he will be out in…five hours, or five days. He lost his medical license–but hey…he can always get a job in the Obama administration as a phone rep.
SECOND: They wouldn’t give us her name. It seems, some very sensible woman, looked at a large piece of junk, and saw that the pan on the bottom had some stains in it. It was her job to clean it up. The problem was the rubber looking bed pan was made to look like it had a stain in it, because the title of the piece of junk was : “When it starts dripping from the Ceiling.” At the bottom of the pan was some painted on…dried rainwater.
She took her trusty cleaner, and scrubbed the “patina” off and now, the $1 million dollar art object which was in the Ostwall Museum: somewhere none of us will EVER go, is ruined. The German artist Martin Kippenberger is dead, so he can’t come and fix it.
To many of us nobodies around the world, that cleaning lady did us all a big favor. One less piece of “modern” art in the world is one less we have to look at and pretend we don’t think it’s a big rip-off.
If that cleaning lady had been taken care of Michael Jackson, you better believe that he would be on a World Tour right now, and his every move would be watched. She would have never allowed him to drug himself to death. She would have gotten her best broom out and hit him on the head and said,
“Knock it off! Get off those stupid drugs! I’m not giving you any more!”
So, Dr. Conrad was NOT doing his job. The cleaning lady was. She was hired to clean. To her that rubber mat looked like a bedpan…and it was her job to clean it. Besides, that’s what the rich (who have never had to clean a bedpan) get…their just reward. Too many of them are facinated by poor’s people’s “junk.” Nobody Thinks they want to display it in their homes and museums so that they can remind themselves once again, how really rich they are.
That’s what happens when the rich treat their “servants” like trash. You could easily make a new bedpan…take you about ten minutes. You can’t make another Michael Jackson.
If the art critics of the world had any sense, they’d had given that cleaning lady a promotion, but somewhere tonight, somebody who owns that “art” piece is heartbroken over his million dollar loss.
Nobody Thinks he should get together with the Jackson family and say: 
“You just can’t get good help nowadays.”
It’s a pity.
Obama’s NEW Stimulus Plans
Nobody Cares
The Japanese have managed to outdo themselves once again. Nobody has just discovered that Obama has ordered 2 million of these hand clappers to be taken with him wherever he is campaigning. This was part of the stimulus for ‘green jobs’ because Japan needs the money since the whole population is going to die sooner rather than later due to green radioactive contamination. It will fail of course, because our electric grid cannot get enough juice to all those robotic clapping hands. Therefore another $500 million will have to go into supplying the mobile generators that will have to be dragged around to supply the energy needed.
This time, I’m sure, Bo will be guarding the trucks.
I laughed through this whole mindless thing. Just hearing “If You’re Happy and You Know it: sung in Japanese” was enough to retire me for the day. I imagine someone is going to say this is racist, and then they will have to make them in black.
(Nobody makes this stuff up.)
You’re welcome.
Halloween Brings Out the Best in a Kardashian.
Nobody’s Perfect
I can’t think of a better time to announce your divorce to a man you just married a few hours ago than Halloween, can you? But that’s what Kim Kardashian just did.
“After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.”
Bruce Jenner must be proud: He produced a champ. His daughter now holds the record for shortest marriage in a celebrity career.
(Nobody made that up. Not the kind of research I enjoy…)
I Googled their famous wedding, and found out, they got married in August..2011. Not ONLY did they get $10 million dollars worth of free stuff for the wedding (because they made it into a TV special)they earned $17 million dollars selling the rights to People Magazine, and other various outlets.
(Now that I think about it, how much did Sandra Bullock get for her famous adoption pictures of her and her son on People?)
The newlyweds got their entire wedding for almost free, and if you Google “Kardashian Wedding” all you see is a quadrillion pictures of Kim. Kris Humphries, the groom….not so much.
The idea was the marriage would help his sports team. (?) What? Did they think ticket sales would soar because she would be at his games? Hey guys…pay some Hooter girls to sit in the seats…lots cheaper.
As you see from the pictures below, after the wedding, they turned into dogs. It wasn’t pretty. The poor guy doesn’t know what hit him. The very clever Kim got a prenuptial, and will no doubt do this again for the money. Just think how much they are going to make off the divorce pictures.
Nobody Reports—
Here we see Kim Kardashian walking out of the courtroom, she’s wearing Dior sunglasses, Vera Wong divorce skirt, and her own line of shoes. She sold the rights to tell her painful marriage to be coming out soon in a special on HBO. The money she makes off all of this will put her up into the top 1 percent of 
the top 1 percent.
Why not? If people want to pay her to get married so that she can be a walking advertisements for all their products she promotes, she could make it a habit.
No doubt her father is her best advisor. Any man that can keep his “brand’ franchise alive for all these years, even after we’ve all forgotten it is what HE was famous for…(Uh…I think he threw a javelin right?) Anyway,
Bruce knows a thing or two about how to milk fame.
In any case, I’m sure they will both survive….besides, scientifically speaking, I was having trouble in my mind picturing Kama Sutra positions between a giant and a midget. It would be like a giraffe mating with a panda wearing lipstick.
Not that love doesn’t conquer all…something tells me, one day, Kris made the mistake of uttering those four little words:
“Kim, I want HALF.”
Poor guy. He married “perfection” and we know…Nobody’s Perfect.
(Where can I get that outfit for MY dog? She’s pretty good with a bone….and that WIG! OMG…she would look SO cute! Does Dior make that outfit? Can I get it in leather?)
Stuffing the “Byrd” for Term Limits
Nobody Remembers
When examining just this one Senator, you see that the FUBAR America is now into, didn’t just happen overnight. Robert Bryd was right there along with his party, pushing it towards the brink that it’s now in.
“I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side … Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.”
Even though he apologized later in life, it was more a political survival than any personal level. Notice in the video, even saying “white nigger” means he thinks a “nigger” is a negative thing. And that ending was clearly, not written by him. (Wait…let’s put on that plague underneath him….”Saving the poor white niggers from the poor black niggers.”)
Come on. Nobody wants to know–Who was voting for this man for 57 years? White raciests? Dare I say…white and black DEMOCRATS?
Later after the death of his teenage grandson he made this comment:
“The death of my grandson caused me to stop and think.” said Byrd, adding he came to realize that black people love their children as much as he does his. He could have well said: “The death of my grandson made me realize that even gophers love their babies and much as I do.”
Really? And this was the man who was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge?
Bryd filibustered the Civil Rights Act of 1965, and he was the only senator to vote against both Thurgood Marshall and Clarence Thomas to the United States Supreme Court, the only two African American nominees.
Bryd got more pork for his state of West Virginia, than any other politician alive, more than 30 existing federal projects bear his name, and that’s not including his wife’s name. He called himself the “Big Daddy” at the dedication for the Robert C. Byrd Biotechnology Science Center. (Big Daddy of all the little niggers.)
How did he get so much money for such a little state? The dirty little secret is: get on the right committees— and he was on almost all of them. Bryd served in the House for six years before moving to the Senate. He served as Secretary of the Senate Democratic Caucus from 1967-1971, then became Majority Leader from1981-1989, and then as Senate Minority Leader from 1981 to 1987, and 1989 to1989-2012 he served as President pro tempore of the United States Senate when the Democrats had majority.. BUT…the sweetest job he got as a Senator was becoming Chairman of the United States Committee on Appropriations from1989-1995, 2001-2003, and 2007-2009, giving him extraordinary influence over federal spending.
Whoever holds the purse of Congress, has enormous power. Barney Frank, in 2007, served as Chairman on the House Financial Committee. These two guys gave us a one/two punch in the face, with all their spending—- Byrd on his endless pork and Barney for setting up Freddie and Fannie.
Nobody Thinks that when Barney passes away, we should save a place for his stuffed corpse, in the basement, next to the men’s john…holding an American dollar in his hand— because it will be the last one left on the planet by the time he finally kicks the bucket.
Push the button, and his toe will tap.
Democrats will tell you it’s the war-mongering Republicans that broke us. But when Democrats spend billions on war, it’s ALWAYS for humanitarian reasons. As if, protecting their citizens is too lame an excuse for them.
There are facts, and there are facts: And the facts are that when Democrats are in charge of the money in Congress, the rest of us will go to the grave
sooner rather than later.And they spend it to buy votes, which is why, the black vote will go to the Democrat 99% of the time. Robert Bryd was living proof of that.
Near the end of his life, Bryd tried to ease his white guilt by voting for Obama over Hillary Clinton.That had to be hard for him.
So, you have to ask yourself, When former President Jimmy Carter noted, “He was my closest and most valuable adviser while I served as president.” Isn’t it about time we insist on term limits? Shouldn’t that be on the Tea Party lists of demands?
The longer they stay in, the more damage they do, and the harder it is to get them out. Maybe we should start insisting that if they insist on dying in office, we will have them stuffed, and displayed for all eternity. They will NEVER be allowed to leave.
I’d better stop…before I get to Pelosi. You don’t want to know where I’d put her…
TERM LIMITS….Or…Stuff em.
(Nobody makes this stuff up)
Nobody Needs Your Help…
Nobody’s Opinion
Well, I wish I could say I’ve got an opinion on the news of the day, but to tell you the truth, I haven’t been watching much. Somewhere between Joe Biden claiming that we are all going to be raped, plundered and murdered if we don’t pass Obama’s job’s bill, and Obama ending the war on a very quiet, “Oh, by the way…I’m running again so I guess I’d better end the war like I promised now that I killed a few bad guys myself.” quote—I just had to tune out.
I took a day off, went over to my neighbor Shirley’s house, who is a big Cardinal fan, and watched the fourth game of the World Series with her. She is all alone since her husband died, and I figure…she needed the company. I’m afraid I talk to the pitchers, and I think she was ready to throw me out, because I started admiring the TEXAS Rangers…and making calls like:
“You did WHAT? You took the guy out who just made a World Series Record of 7 walks in one game, in a 1-0 5th inning, and the guy you puts in, gives the other team a home run pitch which puts them on top? What? I would have kept him in…you gave in to PRESSURE you BUM! “
You know, stuff like that. I also jumped up at the end of the 7th inning and starting singing “Take me out to the ball…game…” I..don’t think she was ready for my…enthusiam. She started feeding me banana bread. And yes, I feel like Rodney Dangerfield tonight.
Nobody gets no respect.
Besides, I am getting tired of looking at that old picture of myself on my blog… taken last Christmas. It’s just got to go. I don’t know where I’m going to find another one…but I know one thing..today I went through all fifty or so Word Press templates and I had a hard time making up my mind…I also have NO clue why I have two blogrolls when I can’t even get one right. I go to popular websites and some of those guys have a ga-zillion “blogroll” people, and it’s like they are listing all their friends on Facebook.
And speaking of FACEBOOK…can I harass Mark Zuckerface? I posted a few blogs, and got at least two millions gazillion people wanting to be my friend. I can count my real friends on one hand. So…who are these people?What do they want? One lady named Angela somebody, keeps inviting me to her parties in California. I’d LOVE to go, but what can I say?
I DON’T KNOW YOU Angela!
I could list you at least a hundred good books I’ve read, but blogrolls? There are millions. Someday, I’ll get some time to figure out this computer world…but like many of you, time is precious, just ask Steve Jobs who has told us at least five hundred times in the last few days that we’re all going die and death is the best thing that ever happened to life. Like we are all just cow spuds to be spit out for the new cows to spud.
Between you and me…I think he had one too many canola bars when it came to his philosophies.
Anyway, I’d rather concentrate on writing something…if not meaningful, at least something that makes us all think. (like what a cow is thinking when she’s spudding) Someday I will look like all those other cool blogs…I simply don’t know how. It’s like I’m genetically programmed to be an alien.
The truth is, I’ve been blogging since 2000, and sometimes I wonder…why? The reason why is that I know I have a precious few that read me, and for that I am more than thankful. But I also write, like most writers, because I simply must get all this junk out of my head. Just be glad I don’t put my dreams in here…oh no. That’s a whole other universe. Sometimes it takes me half the day to forget them, let alone figure out what I’m trying to tell myself. You know what I mean?
Anyway, I’m going to be trying out different templates in the next couple of weeks, and if you see a design that you really like…please tell me. Feedback would be great!
In the meantime. Thanks for letting me complain.
Where’s Obama’s Teleprompter?
Nobody Cares
That just a few days ago, while on the road campaigning, Obama’s favorite security blanket, his teleprompter, was…stolen. Someone stole the truck containing it, and other things, like the Presidential podium. They reported that over $200,000 worth of equipment was missing. Nobody Knows who took it, and if you have ever seen a Presidential motorcade, and the hundreds of people surrounding him and protecting his every move…sombody might think that there is more to tis story, so Nobody will care if I have a little fun:
Rahm: (Presses his earphone) Hello.
Obama: Uh…hey..you got a minute?
Rahm: Sure Bos..what’s up?
Obama: Uh…you know, things aren’t going well here..and…you know, the teleprompter that I’m using really needs to be replaced…I mean, I’d could use a new one.
Rahm: You’re kidding me..right? So just get a new one.
Obama: Uh..I know, I’m going to do that. But, I’d like to keep this one…you know, for the girls..and Michelle thinks it would be fun to have around the house in Chicago. Malia likes to pretend she’s President….they are having a ball at the parties with it.
Rahm: So…keep it.
Obama: Uh…it’s not that…easy. Ever since Hillary took all that furniture out of the White House they’ve got this new thing where every single little thing is recorded.
Rahm: So…get to the point
Obama: Uh…uh…well, I want you to get some of our guys to steal a truck. You know, make it look like…uh..uh…someone stole it.
Rahm: Sure Bos…I’ll make some calls. Consider it done. Have your guy call me. I’ll have it delivered next week. Hey, are you going to make it to my Ballet?
Obama: Make sure the press releases are all……..
Rahm: Yeah, yeah…I got that. Hey, are you going to make it to my ballet?
Obama: Uh…yeah..uh..can I bring a few extra people?
Rahm: How many?
Obama: About..why don’t you send around two hundred tickets.
Rahm: Is that all? F*&*.. What? Did Bo have puppies? You bringing Bo? Hey bos…I miss ya. Hurry home.
Obama: Uh..okay now..bye. Check your mail, and uh….uh….you’re welcome.
The Future of Fashion!
Nobody Flashes
If you think the world is gloomy now..
Wait till you start seeing high-heeled men sweating perfume walking next to moss covered protesters walking down your street!
Nobody Gets Email: Anne Barnhardt: My hero
Nobody Gets Email
When it comes to the email basket of goodies, I think this has to be one of my favorites…This lady is one of my hero’s. Even if she was made up by someone, I don’t care. It’s a letter I wish I’d written..
Enjoy! (Thanks to Tom Beebe) 
*****
The marines call girls such as this…”marrying material,” and, for her birthday…any weapon of her choosing!
This woman is a blogger and has been somewhat outspoken to say the least. Apparently a Jihadist in England noticed and sent her a threat to which she responded.
Ann Barnhardt is described as “a livestock and grain commodity broker and marketing consultant, American patriot, traditional Catholic, and unwitting counter-revolutionary blogger. She has taken on Islam and they have noticed.
DEATH THREAT: To annbarnhardt
I’m going to kill you when I find you. Don’t think I won’t, I know where you and your parents live and I’ll need is one phone-call to kill ya’ll.
———–———————————–
ANN’S RESPONSE:
Re: Watch your back.
Hello mufcadnan123!
You don’t need to “find” me. My address is 9175 Kornbrust Circle, Lone Tree, CO 80124.
Luckily for you, there are daily DIRECT FLIGHTS from Heathrow to Denver . Here’s what you will need to do. After arriving at Denver and passing through customs, you will need to catch the shuttle to the rental car facility. Once in your rental car, take Pena Boulevard to I-225 south. Proceed on I-225 south to I-25 south. Proceed south on I-25 to Lincoln Avenue which is exit 193. Turn right (west) onto Lincoln . Proceed west to the fourth light, and turn left (south) onto Ridgegate Boulevard . Proceed south, through the roundabout to Kornbrust Drive . Turn left onto Kornbrust Drive and then take an immediate right onto Kornbrust Circle. I’m at 9175.
Just do me one favor. PLEASE wear body armor. I have some new ammunition that I want to try out, and frankly, close-quarter body shots without armor would feel almost unsporting from my perspective. That and the fact that I’m probably carrying a good 50 I.Q. points on you makes it morally incumbent upon me to spot you a tactical advantage.
However, being that you are a miserable, trembling coward, I realize that you probably are incapable of actually following up on any of your threats without losing control of your bowels and crapping your pants while simultaneously sobbing yourself into hyperventilation. So, how about this: why don’t you contact the main mosque here in Denver and see if some of the local musloids here in town would be willing to carry out your attack for you?
After all, this is what your “perfect man” mohamed did (pig excrement be upon him). You see, mohamed, being a miserable coward and a con artist, would send other men into battle to fight on his behalf. Mohamed would stay at the BACK of the pack and let the stupid, ignorant suckers like you that he had conned into his political cult do the actual fighting and dying. Mohamed would then fornicate with the dead men’s wives and children. You should follow mohamed’s example! Here is the contact info for the main mosque here in Denver :
Masjid Abu Bakr
Imam Karim Abu Zaid
2071 South Parker Road
Denver, CO 80231
Phone: 303-696-9800
Email: denvermosque@yahoo.com
I’m sure they would be delighted to hear from you. Frankly, I’m terribly disappointed that not a SINGLE musloid here in the United States has made ANY attempt to rape and behead me. But maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough, so let me do that right now
Cantagion: Idiot’s Guide to a Pandemic
Nobody Cares
Not since the bird flu pandemic (did you get it?) have we needed another movie to remind us all, that at any moment, the earth’s population could be cut in half with a virus. It could spread so fast, that within months, body bags would run out, and the best thing to do would be to stay in your house, and pray someone with a gun doesn’t break in and kill you for your food.
Or eat you for food.
My husband and I needed a reprieve from the fact that we didn’t have money to go on a vacation, and we thought, “Surely we can go to a flick.” since the Bahamas was out of the question.
Everyone else must have been in the Bahamas because we were the only ones there. And that’s in the WHOLE movie theater which has 18 huge cinemas and an IMAX.
(Nobody is making this up… not this time.)
I suggested we go see Contagion, because we both like Matt Daman. Nobody has a theory that movie stars come onto the scene in very popular conservatives movies, grab the loyalty of the diehard intelligent people they need to change, and then..turn into liberal idiots. Then we are all totally surprised that they have cauliflower for brains.
Matt Damon stared in the Borne Identity movies, which are all great. He then came out just recently and started talking about unions and how much we need them. (I’d better stop right now, because in my head I can think of dozens of entertainers who have always promoted the old conservative themes, and then came out flaming red, and insulting the very people who go to see their films.)
Dozens.
“Red is the color that my baby wore, and once more it’s true…yes it is.” Sorry, I had a Beatle moment.
So, back to the movie. Matt Damon plays the main character whose wife catches a deadly virus when she was in Hong Kong, and then infects a lot of people at a casino and the whole world becomes infected. People can’t get the vaccines except by lottery, in other words, it shows you what would happen if there really was an outbreak. Marshall Law is moved in right away. And get this: the real scientists of the world claim this movie is right on track.
As far as movies goes, this one was just okay. My husband was severely disappointed because he was expecting Zombies.(BIG Zombie lover) I wanted to see it because I suspected it was going to be another “lesson.”
Nobody Thinks I was right.
It was more like a…you know, this might happen, and the government and Homeland Security will take years to get out the vaccines, but in the end it will be done, because they are all good people. Elites will get it first. People, will die. But, that’s life folks.
Okay—Nobody prefers the government conspiracy movies, but there were no government conspiracies in this movie. At the end, all the suspicions that this virus was some kind of germ warfare was put to rest when the camera zooms in on a bat, and a pig…the real culprits. Honest…last scene. That’s your lesson.
The scene that upset me the most is when a government guy (Played by Lawrence) decided that maybe putting the vaccine in the water would be a good idea, because they did put fluoride in it for our benefit. I’ve read too much about the harmful side effects of fluoride to go there.
I know, you may say that at this point in my life that Nobody is getting too suspicious. Nobody reasons that the more you know, the more you see, and the less you can enjoy it. This happened to me long ago when I took Art Appreciation in college. I got an A, and then every time I looked at a painting afterwards, I would dissect it…I could tell you who did it, what period it was from, HOW they painted it..etc.. Then one day, I realized…I simply did not enjoy the beauty of art any longer. I couldn’t look at a simple sunset without going into all the details in my mind.
It was…annoying.
So, I forgot everything I knew about it,—on purpose. It took me years to forget it, I had to unlearn what I had learned. Nobody Thinks I’m becoming so good at spotting all the propaganda in everything now, that I find it hard to enjoy movies anymore. I know millions of others probably feel the same way.
But this time, I will be saved from myself by mother nature. Someday, I won’t remember where I put the car keys OR the car. I won’t remember ever seeing this movie, because the govenment after reading this, will make sure I get an extra dose of floride in my water.
Despite the movie, we had a great box of buttered popcorn, a theater all to ourselves, and then came home and ducked taped the windows. (just kidding)
Really, if you can just enjoy a movie without thinking…it’s really…okay.
Good thing money is tight right now: According to this movie, it very well could have been me that walked into a casino in the Bahamas and then I would have ended up being the one to kill the world with a virus from a banana, dropped by a monkey who had had sex with a pig, into my margarita.
I’m just saying….
Having Sex With Animals…A Civil Right?
Nobody Reports—
Laugh for the day.
Listen to this guy…he gets these people wbo are protesting, to say one of their rights as human beings is to be able to have sex with animals if they want. By the looks of HIM, I’d say he’d already tried it. I bet he has a barn full of sweetie pies for his own pleasure at his house.
Uh…have they consulted the animals on this? How about PETA? Does PETA think this is a good idea? Wouldn’t a man having sex with a dog or pig be considererd cruel and unusual torture? Will we be seeing animal strip clubs? Will the protitutes start serving a “two for one” me and my sheep?” for the low price of $200?
What animals are included in this? Elephants? Giraffes? Priaire Dogs? Is Hollywood suffering so badly that we will soon be seeing, “Debbie Does The Lion King?” porn in HD? All ready for that new IPhone, download now…The Wild Horses of Texas.
Next thing you know, they will want equal rights for all those who want to marry their “animal.”
And what if they want to have sex with say…a wild animal? Beaver for instance? Nobody Thinks these people are actually decendants of the first democrat who had sex with an ass, there is no other explanation for such moronic behavior.
But— you have to laugh, or you’ll cry at the fact that all these people repeated exactly what this idiot said word for word…even the “You can have sex with animails.”
Good god…I’m hiding my dog.
Obama Speaks to the Nation, Without Bo
Nobody Cares
Nobody watched Obama’s speech today. At least, half of it… anymore and I would have needed two cases of Red Bull. Here’s the problem.:If you are not a well read person, and you get all your news from TV…you would have thought that most of Obama’s BS, about how nothing is his fault but the other parties, actually had some truth to it. Obama doesn’t talk to us like adults, he talks down to everyone. And this Nobody wants to know who is writing this guy’s speeches. Anyway, here’s short summary.
What did Obama tell the nation in his speech today?
Obama— Now, children: I am going to protect you from those big evil banks. When there is an unfairness in any business, trust me, I will be there to save the American people from outlandish fees that the banks are putting on every single poor citizen in this country.
KID— But, my daddy says the reason he can’t buy me that new video game is because the government takes too much taxes out of his paycheck? Is the bank taking money out too?
Obama— Well no, but the bank did some things that were…not nice. LEGAL, but not very nice.
KID—My mommy said that they should have gone to jail.
Obama— Well, we can’t do anything about that, but if my new jobs bill is passed, your daddy and mommy will never have to drive over that scary bridge every morning. You like that don’t you?
KIDS—What’s wrong with the bridge?
Obama—Every single bridge in America is falling apart kids. Your daddy or mommy might fall off those bridges some day and have to go to the hospital.
KID— My daddy says that we don’t have the money to build new bridges.
Obama— Well, if we pass this new jobs bill, we will…we’ve already figured out a way to pay for it!
KIDs—Really?
Obama: Yes, your mommy and daddy will pay for it, by the fact that, with the new rules under the EPA, under my guidance, we will have to necessarily raise all the utility bills. The good news is, we won’t have to borrow from China!
KID: oh.
Obama: Any more questions?
KID: Uh…mommy says solar panels don’t work, is that true?
Obama: Well, that’s just nonsense…of course they do. In fact in my jobs plan we will give billions of dollars to new companies in order for us to compete with China who is already beyond us in this field. We don’t want that to happen, do we? Have China be better than us in new energy?
KID: But, isn’t China also beating us in the space race? I heard they were going to the moon? Are we going to the Moon?
Obama: We’ve already been there sweetheart.
KID: Daddy says you sent guns to the Mexicans.
Obama: No, I did not. But, I did kill Osama bin Laden.
KID: But, the guns might come over here and hurt us.
Obama: I don’t want you to be scared about that. We are going to deport all the illegal’s who are criminals from our country. And also, Hillary Clinton ..has signed a small arms treaty with the United Nations to protect all American from guns. We will be gathering all the dangerous guns up in the very near future…so that you won’t have to worry.
KIDs: Mr. President: Can I still eat a cupcake?
Obama: Sure you can…just don’t get fat! Uh any more questions?
KID: Are Republicans mean?
Obama: Well…in a way they are. They are keeping teachers and firemen from getting back their old jobs. And every time I try to do something they block me. And that means, they are blocking the voice of the American people because kids, we live in a democracy, and you know what that means?
KIDs: NO
Obama: it means that whoever won the election gets to rule. And I won.
Obama: Now, before I go…can anyone tell me what I am saying here? (points to picture of himself in book)
One KID jumps up and down with his hand held high…
Obama: YES?
KID: You’re saying CUPCAKES for everyone if we pass the jobs bill!
Obama: Well, yes I am.
(Obama turns to his aid and whispers: “Give that kid a gold star, and invite him to my next State of the Union. I want to use him in that infomercial…What happened to that damn dog? Didn’t I tell you to get Bo here for this thing? Well go take the plane and get him!
Starbucks: The New Fannie and Freddie On Cappachino
Nobody Knows
—that I watched the movie, the “Little Fockers” last night, and did not laugh once. But, I made up for it after I watched Mr. Christopher Christwell sing his song on YouTube about having to serve people at Starbucks.
I’m not even looking at it, and I’m still laughing.
Frankly, I think they paid this guy to do this, because Chris is not near as insulting to me, as the fact that Starbucks is asking it’s customers to ‘donate’ five dollars to put into a “loan” fund to give out to poor people who cannot get loans for houses anymore because Fannie and Freddie broke the world, and got caught.
When I first read it, I thought: Oh…how nice..the man that helped break Americans with overpriced coffee has decided to help out the people, the small business man, who cannot get a loan from any of the banks that got big bailout money. They were SUPPOSE to give it to the struggling American, but…they gave it to the big foreign banks.
Chris would say: they gave it to the rich fat lady wanting more whipped cream in her frapachino mocha.
This from Prison Plant–
The group running the scheme is funded by the very same big banks who received trillions in bailout funds that are still deliberately withholding loans from struggling Americans in order to make money
off the interest on deposits held with the Federal Reserve. What the corporate press is loath to report is the fact that the OFN, while posing as a philanthropic financial refuge for poor Americans, is little more than a Wall Street front organization. It is bankrolled by the likes of Bank of America, Goldman Sachs, HSBC, Deutsche Bank, JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo, and Morgan Stanley.
Starbucks also once offered free coffee to those who offered to pledge their allegiance to Obama’s creepy ‘national civilian security force’ proposal back in January 2009. And if my memory serves me well, it was Bill Clinton who lobbied (and won) high-playing wages for the coffee pickers in Columbia, who pick the coffee beans for Starbucks. Some of those guys, make more money than a Starbucks manager, and it’s also one of the reasons that Starbucks coffee is so high.
But I digress. I don’t drink coffee. The democrats are going to get the “people’s money any way they can.” Even if they have to pretend it’s for charity.
Fannie Starbucks.
Chris put into words, what every single “service” worker in the United States feels when they get home from work every single day. People can be downright rude.
And Nobody Knows it better: America is a “service” economy, and I’m glad they fired Christopher. Now he can go on to better things.
Like, maybe writing scripts for Ben Stiller.
When In Rome, Get In Your IPod
Nobody Reports that Nobody Reads!
Here are a few intersting items I found in my reading today:
In Bushworld, Maureen Dowd complained about Dick Cheney and President Bush…hiding things.
“The vice president and president are really concerned about the privacy of power. They want to do, and be accountable to no one. The theme of Bush I is now the them of Bush II: Trust us, even if we won’t let you verify. we know we’re right . We answer to no one. “
That sentence could very well have been written about Barack Obama and his administration. “We have to pass the bill so we can read it.”
Has Maureen figured out by now that the democrats rule the same way?
Has a pigmy ever won a Pultizer?
****
In What Life Was Like When Rome Ruled the World I found this:
The Roman historian Livy said Rome was a “free nation, governed by annually elected officers of state and subject not to the caprice of individual men, but to the overriding authority of law.” The Romans codified their young “republic” around 430 BC in the Twelve Tables.
Now, this was not exactly a “republic” because only the wealthy patricians could vote and be elected. The common man (plebeians) did not have a say. And when the Roman elites sent the poor plebeians to fight the war in Carthage (Africa) it got sticky.
“Plebeians burdened by debt and lenglthy military service were losing their land to patricians who profited by the labor of slaves taken in battle”
So…history shows that the patricians and the plebeians are still in the exact same place. Even in the “republic” of China.
Nobody also likes this:….a speaker system for $100, 000. and a clever IPOD that you can climb into when the next flood comes. That’s only $3,900.
Now, how to get that stereo into that IPOD….Nobody is working on it.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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