Pass the BACON Said the Pork!
Nobody Wins
After I watched this video I keep thinking of that dog commercial–BACON! BACON! Bacon Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacoon BAAAAACON!!!
Here you have pure 100% pudding proof, that the blacks are reminding Obama that their vote wasn’t free. No sirree. They EXPECT to get raises on their big government salaries, and keep their big government pensions, and Jimmy Carter did it, and well…as JoAnn Watson would put it. “Show me the BACON! “
Personally, I think she could lay off the bacon a bit. If she gets any more bacon she won’t be able to fit into her Mercedes. (Or be able to find her Obama cell phone either.)
JoAnn has actually done us a big favor.
“Our people in an overwhelming way supported the re-election of this president and there ought to be a quid pro quo and you ought to exercise leadership on that,” said Watson. “Of course, not just that, but why not?”
JoAnn has proven that the ‘quid pro quo” is the way the game is played in Washington. JoAnn expects the corrupt politicians in Detroit to be bailed out. And as a reminder to everyone that they have a right to expect that, they tell you Gerald Ford bailed out New York.
So, what’s Obama going to do? He promised the Sandy victims he would save them all, and now….Detroit wants a cut? Where’s the money for this coming from?
JoAnn doesn’t care: She wants her bacon.
And then you have Timmie Geithner, who, on the same day, is warning everyone that if Obama doesn’t get his money from the “rich’ he is going to let us all, basically starve.
When asked if the administration was ready to go over the cliff if Republicans continue to oppose White House plans to hike taxes on the richest 2 percent of Americans, Geithner was quick to respond.”Absolutely,” he told the network.”What we’re trying to do is put in place a comprehensive, balanced set of fiscal reforms that put us back on the path of living within our means,” Geithner said.
Nobody Wins when our Secretary of the Treasury has no clue that the few measly billions he is going to get from taxing the rich will only last a few weeks, and he thinks THAT will put Obama, and his many minions of government worshipers back on the path to living within their means.
Okay everyone…repeat after me: BACON BACON BACON bacon bacon bacon…we want our BACON TIMMIE!
Nobody Thinks the half of America that is giving bacon to JoAnn should reply, “We’d like to keep our bacon JoAnn. How about you go on Michelle’s veggie diet, and plant yourself some radishes?
After all…you voted for Michelle too, and in her world, you need to eat your veggies and get off the bacon.
It’s the Muslim way, and they don’t like pigs with lipstick either.
And speaking of that…is that lipstick Timmie’s wearing?
Product Placement: Political Power Prevails
Nobody Cares–
–That I was bored of politics yesterday and watched this little documentary. I many never drink Coke again…and I’ll tell you in a minute about that.
The guy that made this movie, (forgive me if don’t I tell you– I REALLY don’t want to remember his name) reminds me of my next door neighbor. He always borrows my lawn tools and forgets to give them back. Only in America can a guy make a movie about getting major corporations to give him thousands of dollars to put their products IN the movie, which is about him getting $1.5 million dollars to make what is basically—just a big advertisement for their products.
After it was done, I had to think: Now, what did I learn? 
1. POM (the major sponsor) is good for men’s erections. (Yes, that was the big one.)
2. Product placement in movies can sometimes help carry the cost when the budgets are so big.
3. Advertising is almost never honest.
4.. Quentin Tarantino has a hard time getting ANY major spongers.
5. Even Ralph Nader is a sucker for free stuff, bribes, and payoffs.
6. If you just even LOOK at the logo of Coca Cola, your endorphins in your brain will shoot sky high, you will start salivating, fall on the floor, crave wild sex with Kevin Costner, and need to be taken away by the police…..
Just kidding—You might not do that , but you will want to drink one. The MRI’s prove it.
7. I also learned that they know if you get kids young enough loving McDonalds, you can program them to want McDonalds for the rest of their lives. I ought to know: whenever I’m stressed I want McDonalds. In fact, I had it for dinner tonight…a quarter pounder (no cheese) with a Coke. My mother must have bought me McDonalds when I was sick when I was a kid, because it’s the only food that makes me feel better.
Flu? MCDONALDS! Stuffy nose? MCDONALDS! Hangover? MCDONALDS! Don’t want to cook? MCDONALDS! Okay, that last one, in my house, is considered an ailment. 
Obviously this means…OMG! I’m addicted!
So…Nobody asks: How can a “logo” put your brain in addiction mode?
This from Kevin Trudeau’s Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You To Know About.”
Food manufacturers are knowingly putting chemicals into the food that cause the consumer to become physically addicted to it. Chemicals are being added to our food that actually make us gain weight. Since our brains are mostly fat, a large percentage of these chemicals accumulate there over the years.
And if commercials about food, cars, cigarettes, vodka, drugs, and car insurance aren’t enough to drive us all into zombie- fat no-brain land, let’s not forget all the subliminal political messages they put in all the sitcoms and movies. 
They are not only advertising products, they are advertising political parties.
Last week Michelle Obama made a guest appearance on Nickelodium to push the Obama’s big campaign suck up to the military. (see video below) Yes, they have to get some white votes somehow.
They could be doing this for two reason: It’s an election year, and they want to convince the conservatives..whose families are in the military, that they like them, or 2. They are planning to attack Iran and need more soldiers before the year is out. The ones coming home will not want to go back out there: back to the deserts, and the camels, and the Muslim busting stress, where a McDonald’s Super-Sized Big Mac Meal, topped off with a cold delicious chocolate shake is hard to come by.
Can you blame them?
Either way, when the top family in the country can manipulative the masses with guest appearances on TV shows…Nobody Wonders: Who pays who? Does the President always get free air time, when others have to PAY to appear? 
How fair is that? Is Newt Gingrich going to get free air time on MTV? Also, did Michelle Obama PAY to have the kids call her “Your excellency”? Or did she…demand it be written in the script?Nobody Knows.
And then… I’ll surely remember his name.
Is the Mother Ship Shovel Ready?
NOBODY CARES
The big news today was: President Obama got lost inside the White House. Nobody can find him, and it is being reported that he has been taken by aliens and dumped on the mother ship for ANOTHER fantastic birthday party. Tom Hanks arranged the whole thing, as a surprise. Not that we care… we don’t. Standard and Poor’s downgraded the AAA credit of the United States today, and it was on this very important day in history that this Nobody got lost in the city of St.Louis. I started out heading South, then West, then East, then South, then West again, then North, then just about the time I was getting hungry, I decided to ask directions.
***
I had a map, but no glasses.
***
Yes, you would think after so many years roaming the side streets and inner deserts of St. Louis, and having played just about every dive and dump imaginable that I could never have gotten lost. I saw street upon streets of old dilapidated brick buildings that were never there before. Buildings built around the 1800’s and still somehow standing. Block after block— after block. Long ago, you could smell the brewery all over the town. Now, it’s pretty much the smell of urine.
***
Nobody prefered the old barley smell myself.
***
I always wonder if they leave those old buildings up just there to get their picture taken for the History Channel. The History Channel has a whole mini-series on “Life after People”, where they show how long it will take to rot the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, the Hoover Damn, and the White House.
***
But don’t believe it. No matter what happens to this country, as we slide slowly into a third world country where 400 gang members of blacks can attack whites daily: where people are so desperate for money they steal the bronze statue of the noble dog: and Jesus’s image is being found everywhere on e-bay..toast, pizza, beer foam…Obama’s head–whatever… you can bet whoever is in the White House will be having a big lavish party for the President and all his buddies, and Bob Dylan will be singing….
***
“The Times They are a Chaaaaaanginnnng”…..(cough,cough)
***
So, as I found my way home after a day of worrying about my gas tank…(Do I turn ON the air conditioner, or… turn OFF the air conditioner?) it came as no surprise that the country has been downgraded. I could tell by the action of my gas tank. One block took up half a tank.
***
And after watching St. Louis die for over two decades all I can say is: it’s about time.
***
Someday, we will all be living in our cars…if they let us.
*** (Nobody makes this stuff up) Unfortunately, the mother ship was not shovel-ready, or I would be on it.)
Nobody’s Perfect: Congress VS Billy Joe
Let’s consider a few facts before we start comparing the two.
Remember, the father was drunk.
This week, we were told that our Congress and the President, reached a deal to “save” the country from default. Currently, if you can believe the stats: we have a $14 trillion dollar debt, and this deal will cut expenses by $21 billion in 2012, and $42 billion in 2013.
Wow.
They all did Obama a favor, they said, by letting it all slide till AFTER the elections. This was…more Washington as usual..smoke your mirrors and get out that flask of whiskey.
According to Ron Paul:
“This deal will reportedly cut spending by only slightly over $900 billion over 10 years. But we will have a $1.6 trillion deficit after this year alone, meaning those meager cuts will do nothing to solve our unsustainable spending problem. By denying members the ability to offer amendments and only allowing an up-or-down vote that will take place in the hectic time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, this Commission essentially disenfranchises the vast majority of members from meaningfully participating in the debate over reducing spending and balancing the budget.”“Furthermore, despite the claims of the bill’s proponents, there is nothing to stop the commission from recommending tax increases. What should bother Americans most is that under cover of this debt ceiling circus, we learned from a recent GAO one-time, limited audit that the Federal Reserve secretly pumped $16 trillion into American and foreign banks over three years. All of the Fed’s fat cat cronies were taken care of at the expense of the American public.”
So, what was this whole big, “The sky is falling and we will never get up!” facade that went on for weeks? It was all about…what? What really happened, it seems to this nobody, is that they are just getting a few more trillion to spend. An eight-year-old with half an education could have done a better deal.
And speaking of eight-year-olds…Billy Joe Madden was so drunk, he let his eight- year- old son drive to Texas from Mississippi, with his four- year -old sister in the back seat. Billy Joe was sent to prison, as well he should have been.
But…consider this: It was just reported that Washington D.C. has the highest alcohol rate of any city in the country among adults, at 8.1 percent. Another nifty statistic is that D.C. is among the top contenders when it comes to cocaine and marijuana use. Are we surprised? This explains why Marion Berry kept getting elected right next door to the White house…with the White House silent. The Mayor was caught on tape selling cocaine, and yet he was re-elected?
Doesn’t that tell you something?
Could it be, the reason the country is going off the road, is we are letting men and women with the experience of a stoned and drunk eight- year- old kid run the country?
Are they all drunk? High? Freaking out on coke? Shouldn’t they all be in prison with Billy Joe Madden with the crimes they have committed?
You have to hand it to that eight-year-old kid. Somehow he managed, despite having a drunk father sitting beside him, to get that pickup truck quite a few miles without hurting anyone.
If Congress was driving that car, it would have caused more than a few major fatalities and would be out of gas, engine on fire, framework all bent to hell, and it would still be in a ditch by the side of the road. With Congress in the driver’s seat, it would have never made it out of Biloxi.
And on that note…I think I’ll go have a drink.
Raise the Debt Limit: But Read the Fine Print
Nobody’s Opinion
Instead of accepting some compromise that can get through the democratic process, what they‘re saying is we’ll blow up the country if you don’t listen to us,” Zakaria said. “We’ll hold hostage the credit of the United States, the good standing of the United States and we’ll blow it up….it’s an extraordinary act of hostage-taking.”
The agreement would slice at least $2.2 trillion from federal spending over a decade, a steep price for many Democrats, too little for many Republicans. The Treasury’s authority to borrow would be extended beyond the 2012 elections, a key objective for Obama, though the president had to give up his insistence on raising taxes on wealthy Americans to reduce deficits.
The Americans “thought that money just reproduces by itself, and only in the financial sector, without having to produce any goods or services,” Fernandez said . These days, Latin America’s economy as a whole is expected to expand about 4.7 percent in 2011 — almost twice the expected rate in the United States — thanks to strong demand for the region’s commodities and a decade of mostly prudent fiscal management, itself the product of many hard-learned lessons of the past.
The protests over housing costs have tapped into wider discontent among Israelis over the high cost of living and the growing gaps between rich and poor. Other protests include doctors striking over working conditions and pay, parents demonstrating against expensive child rearing costs and similar outpourings over increasing gas prices.
To Debit, or NOT to Debit? OR…
Nobody Wins
Let me confess: I LOVE my debit card. Yes, I remember the old days, back when men were men, and women washed diapers by hand…when you had to carry all that nasty cash around in your pocket. When you were at the store, you had to get out your wallet, and pull out the ten or twenty, and then you got change. SOME of us actually remember that.
Somewhere around the end of the twentieth century, even finding the correct change to give the cashier would get you at least five dirty looks from the people standing behind you. So, most people came home and threw the change in a big jar, heaven forbid they should hold up ANY line. This small change would later would put their sons through college.
Ha! Never again!
The women got the worst of it back then, because the men will only carry the bills. No man wants to be seen with a big LUMP in their pockets, (unless of course, you are a Weiner) which meant the women had to put all the coins, pennies, and quarters in her purse. It was the original “trickle down” concept to which later, Ronald Reagan based his financial budget policy on. The man spent the money, (Okay, we give them the credit for earning it…) and then the woman took all those drips of nickels and dimes that trickled down to her…and hid them from the man, Then, she would take those big jars, and use the money to buy clothes and shoes, which she also hid.
Are you kidding? Women are reincarnated squirrels. This secret hoarding went on for years. The last thing a man will do is venture into a woman’s closet, least you get caught admiring a dress.
Notice, I said…”Man”
If you didn’t have any money on you, you wrote a check. This got at least TEN people behind you wanting to shove you in a cart and roll you into the frozen food section. Remember, checks USED to be issued free to bank customers. Some banks even threw in toasters and guns for your business!
HA! Never again!
Now, you have to buy your checks, at triple-inflationary prices!
But, something HAD to be done about all this free cash floating around, sooooo, one day, someone at some bank decided, why not make a “debit” card so that the poor people wouldn’t have to stand in line anymore? They could just flick the one card through the machine, and the machine would say “ok!” and you were on your way, leaving lots of room in women’s purses for hair spray, dog treats, fashionable shoes, workout clothes, and baby wipes.
Did you ever wonder why the women now are fatter? It’s because they stopped dragging around bags full of heavy coins. “We have to give up something for progress.” said the bankers.
And the bankers were right. Now, a whole nation is hooked on debit cards. It’s easy, it’s fun, it’s so fast….and we can spend as much as we want and even more, and to make things even greater, we can go online to our bank accounts and see ALLLLLLLLLL the money we spent and how much it cost, and what we bought…and somewhere in cyberspace anyone can see just what where we bought it, and if there was sex involved.
You think the empty water bottles are a problem? It doesn’t even compare to the trail of every transaction being done every minute of the day. Yes, a huge paper trail of debit card transactions dominate the universe.
Nobody Thinks the great records of every transaction every man and women in the world have made, are hidden in Las Vegas, and under Harry Reid’s beck and call to sell this important information to the highest bidder—which is China. What? Do.you think we only sold them our garbage?
And now that they know everyone LOVES their debit card, it’s time to tax it every time you use it.
WHAT?
To make things fair, our bankers have decided that if you are a millionaire and buy a yacht for $250,000, and use your debit card…that transaction will only cost you 23 cents. (if our Congress has its way) And if you are a mere nobody, and want to buy a Slurpee at your local quickie mart for 99 cents, that transaction will cost you…23 cents.
It’s the hope and change that Obama promised!
Once again, the banks are NOT going to make much money off the millionaires, they aren’t millionaire for nothing you know, how do you think they got that way? Our “government” buttheads have to come up with some way to “tax’ the people.
The rich guys who own them, said, “You’d better figure out a way FAST, to save the banks!” Yes, the banks are in trouble—which means less money for the people who need lots of it. People are paying off their credit cards and the great profit from credit card fees is dwindling.
So, in comes the Federal Reserve: To save the merchants, it will price freeze the cost that the credit cards like Visa and MasterCard can charge them for each transaction. The banks will lose a big bulk of money, and so..they will charge you now for using a debit card. In other words, for using your own money. Pass the loss onto the customer.
No more toasters, no more crooks, no more banker’s dirty books.
Think: how many times a day do you use your debit card? On a average shopping day, I can go up to six to seven stores, that’s another $1.61 that the bank makes off me. I figure if I use my debit care just every other day, the bank will make around $300 dollars a year. Multiply that by 300 million and they make…
Now see, this is the problem. I can’t use my $1.00 calculator that I bought at the dollar store with my debit card to do this math. And that’s what they are counting on.
The little banks will be hurt by this, BECAUSE, many people will just take money out of their banks again and start paying cash. They will hide their money in grandma’s old underwear drawer. And those little banks will lose money, but the bigger banks, will have Uncle Bernanke to bail them out.
Like I said, I LOVE my debit card, but if the Feds get their way again, I’m going back to my hoarding, squirrely ways. And I know LOTS of places to hide my money.And if you come into my house looking for it, I’m saving you the trouble. My grandma is dead, and I… don’t wear underwear.
HA! Never Again!
Who’s Teaching the Teachers?
Nobody Knows who is teaching our teachers…because by the latest pictures coming out of Wisconsin, these people are seriously defective in simple math. What don’t they get about the government going broke? What do they NOT comprehend about where their salaries come from?I’ve seen teachers working on their “degrees” with computers supplied to them by the TAXPAYERS…while the kids struggle in front of them, alone.
What Budget?
Nobody Knows:
Yesterday, Obama flew all the way to Ohio to give his speech on his “budget.” I guess nobody watched it, because TODAY he gave the exact same speech at a press conference at the White House, and EVERYBODY watched it. He could have saved us a few big bucks right there, but…those kids in Ohio needed to feel his concern.
Important state, that Ohio. I wonder why?
I actually listened to his speech…and Nobody Knows that after listening to his budget, this nobody could not tell for the life of me, what the heck he said. (And neither did those school kids) Just when I thought he just couldn’t get enough of himself, he organized a big “I WILL NOW GIVE OUT METALS TO WHOM I THINK MOST WORTHY” party.
As if to say: Well, since I broke my promise about cutting the deficit in half, and because I said wouldn’t kick the ball down the road, and I’m actually launching it to the next seventeen generations..I will show you what I CAN do…bestow Presidential favors.
You must forgive me. Listening to 5 straight hours of Obama talking while I was vacuuming dog hair off the bed, and the floor, and the tables, did not give me a clear understanding of just what he was saying —I keep getting the dog hair and the speech mixed up…but here’s a short summary:
OBAMA: “My budget will keep us by the year, 2021, from spending more money. Then, it will come due. With this budget I will keep us even Steven until that year, in which, all the debt we didn’t pay will all be piled on at once. I am a community organizer and I hate to cut community organizer spending, but I also think we cannot cut heating for the poor. And while this budget does not get all things going…simply because, as you know, in a Democracy we have a much harder time than other countries getting things done (which is not MY fault) because we have many voices to hear…and by the way, I prefer the latter (?) You people must realize we have to be pragmatic. These things take time…look at Egypt…you thought three weeks was a long time? It will take at least a month to get King Tut into the Oval Office.
And as you know, George W. Bush without a shot, took down the Berlin Wall. (?) And Warren Buffet, besides being the richest guy in the World, gives half of his money away, great guy…And look how tall that basketball player is! And the great German Leader Merkel got a medal, but I will have to give it to her myself. And here’s the greatest union organizer of all…the man, the great, Sweeny.
I love to do this folks! Just look what the unions have done for America. So…let’s forget protocol and applaud at this momentous day of budget talks, old X-Presidents who want go up to the Presidential podium (I stopped that) and the reality that I will leave it up to the Republicans to make those old decrepit people work till they are eighty . After they hear how hard they will have to work, they will WANT my health care plan. Understand…it just takes time. “
The rest of the day, everybody and their other buddy were telling us that basically, the President was on crack. (in a metaphorical way..although, until we have drug tests for politicians we don’t know for sure) The average American keeps hearing “trillions” and “billions”, and we’re broke, and etc.. and we each owe $12,000, and maybe we can kick the can, or the horse, or if we get lucky, the IRS agent and Barney Frank from our nursing home in the sky.
I can’t believe I made it through Stan Musial not passing out on the floor of the White House.
Paul Ryan said he “punted.” Frankly, I don’t even think Obama is on the field. He’s somewhere riding his camel to Cairo…all by himself.
Nobody Flashes: Germany just took over the New York Stock Exchange. No wonder Merkel got a medal.
Nobody Flashes: France wants to get rid of the dollar.
Nobody Flashes AGAIN: We are so in debt, that Colorado is taxing bull semen, Nevada is going to tax prostitution, and Texas is going to put $100 surcharge on SUV’s. Which means it would be unadvisable to drive your SUV out of Texas, dragging your bulls behind, to the brothels in Nevada…unless you’re a politician.
So, join me in a more simply explanation about our money problems.
This video is a simple way to explain it all, and you don’t even have to go to Ohio to see it.















