Nobody’s Email: Jay Thomas and the Lone Ranger
Nobody Flashes Email
I had no clue who this guy was until this morning—-but, this IS a funny story, and it has to be true…you couldn’t make this up.
ENJOY!
(Thanks to JR)
Nobody Remembers Why We Are Fat
Nobody Remembers
When I was a kid, nobody was ‘obese.’ Every kid I knew was perfect. Normal. Leave it to Beaver size.
Once a week, my parents drove my brother and I to dancing lessons….110 miles one way across the Tamiami Trail to Miami from Naples. My mother wanted us to be the next Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers–what she got was The Lone Ranger and Tonto. (Another blog)
You would THINK at five, that the highlight of my trip would have been the fabulous underground millionaire shops at the Fountain Blue Hotel where we took our lessons..where movie stars would walk by and hope to be noticed. Or the underground window at the bar, where you could see the swimmers legs dangling under the pool. (Dad loved to stand by that one) Or the excitement of looking for alligators crossing the road. 
Nope.
The highlight of those Saturdays was…WHITE CASTLE. What my brother and I would do for lunch at White Castle. My parents would say, “Hey! So what if it’s a long drive, and you would rather stay home and play with your friends…we’ll go to White Castle!”
You think kids want to sit in a car for two hours, just to be taught how to do the cha-cha by some Cuban guy who couldn’t speak English? Heck no. It was promise of those White Castle smothered in ketchup that made us both into perfect little angels.
I’ve been a burger girl ever since.
Back then, there were not the hundreds of fast food franchises there are today, so is it any wonder that America is on the fat side? I think one of the reasons that America gets fatter by the minute, is because every single town in America has the food strip….you know: Fast Food Heaven Lane. EVERY single town across America is one big glutton street. America really manufactures— Franchisees. Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, KFC…Pizza Hut, etc….
But….according to National Geographic, we can’t blame our fatness on fast food, no…we can blame it on:
THE MONKEY
Yes….that lovable NOT fat ancestor of ours, is the reason we are fat.
Once upon a time, 22 million years ago, the monkeys lazed around in the African rain forest, living on fruit which they ate year round. And then, about 5 million years later, seas receded and ice caps expanded. So, the curious monkeys went over a bridge to some different rain forests.
In other words, like the 49er’s looking for gold in the California desert, they got lost. And it kept getting colder. They couldn’t find fruit any longer, and the trees started losing their leaves.
(I hate when that happens.)
Anyway, the woods started filling up with lots of starving apes. So what happened? According to a scientist named Johnson, a mutation happened. Ape mutated some genes and became a wildly efficient processor of fructose. Even small amounts of sugar were stored as fat, in order to survive months when winter came upon the land and food was scarce.
And then the monkeys moved BACK to Africa and kept that mutative fat storage survival gene and passed it down to us, who according to the scientists— we been struggling with ever since.
That’s why, IF I go and eat the Blue Bunny Cherry Chocolate Ice Cream in my fridge, right now, I will have stored fat for the next two years.
And since sugar stimulates the same pleasure centers of the brain that respond to heroin and cocaine you CAN become addictive to it, and IF you become addicted to let’s say…doughnuts, you can rest assured that your body will store that sugar as fat, and you can blame that on the monkey.
Or if you prefer: the ice age that Al Gore missed.
And in case you haven’t noticed, we ARE coming into another ice age. This could present another problem.
The monkeys might have to go exploring again, and not be able to find fruit, AGAIN, and their genes will mutate…AGAIN…and future humans will be so big, they won’t be able to walk.
They will have to outlaw sugar. (Wait…they did that in New York.)
Instead of all these geneticists trying to design the perfect human baby, maybe they should be working on a gene mutations that takes sugar and turns it into muscle instead. What good is a smart baby if it craves sugar? Huh? Think about that.
And MAYBE the real reason scientists are studying all these monkeys, is because they are waiting for the monkeys to mutate into humans.
Frankly, I am too. I want them to start talking so that we can ask them why they are not fat?
There’s more than one missing link in the scientific liberal basket.
I’m not sure just what to do with this information but, now that I think about it, I’m going to go have a few scoops of chocolate cherry ice cream, and then maybe…White Castle for lunch tomorrow.
I learned my lesson from National Geographic: Don’t Starve–your ancestors will never forgive you.
It’s the least we can do for ‘evolution.’ Go ahead—have one more….
Nobody’s Perfect: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Nobody’s Perfect:
Too bad, I thought. I really liked that actor…Phillip Seynour Hoffman. Twister would not have been as fun a movie without his electrifying portrayal of a crazy, adrenaline addicted maniac weatherman, who loved the excitement of tornadoes. Twister is one of my favorite movies.
Phillip Seynour Hoffman died Superbowl Sunday, from a heroin overdose. They found 50 bags of heroin in his house.
Out here in normal America, nobody is shocked. And it got me to thinking about Hollywood…and how, once upon a time, I went there to make my mark…to seek fame and fortune.
Want to know why so many Hollywood stars die of drug overdoses?
When I was 24–I had just broke up with a boyfriend, and decided, (against my family’s wishes), to go to Hollywood and get a job as a drummer and try for fame and fortune. I had an invitation to stay for free at a young, well-connected producer’s house, which was not far from the Hollywood strip.
It was exciting….at first. L.A. was about as far from the hills of Missouri as you can get…and I tagged along with the producer and met his friends, who all had money, mostly because they were kids of Hollywood money. Kids of stars. Kids whose parents and grandparents had worked for MGM, Paramount, Disney, and were household names— Kids who had never in their life worked a normal job. They had nothing to do but run around and hang out.
Pretty nice life.
And you know what these people talked about constantly? Drugs. Cocaine. And cars. And Rodeo Drive. I could not imagine for the life of me a more boring existence. I was there a month, and did not hear one mature or intelligent thought come out of one well-fed mouth. I pretended I was …just quiet. I just observed…and watched, and was totally shocked at the culture difference between their world and mine.
While these young men and women had houses with swimming pools, the most expensive cars and lots of money— ALL they wanted to do was get high.
Within a few days, I learned to hate L.A, the concrete beneath my feet, and the idiots who lived there. I came back home, disillusioned about the high price I would have to pay for fame. If I wanted to get famous, I had to hang out with the right people and stick that crap up my nose?
Sweet Jesus. I could not WAIT to leave.
Hollywood had fallen for Hanoi Jane. (Whose best buddy is now in the White House) The old-time movie stars, who were simply alcoholics, had kids who got into cocaine, simply because. They’ve got the money, and it’s cool.
And trust me: they are bored, with no clue about how to make themselves feel good, because they never had to work. Being someone’s famous kid, is just not enough to make yourself feel good about …who YOU are. These kids are deprived of the chance to grow into mature adults. And then, they become addicts.
I don’t know how, or WHO flooded the United States with drugs during Vietnam, but I’ve heard military people say, the war in Vietnam was all about our government making money off of the drugs. I’ve also read it was part of the “communist ” plan to destroy America from within.
Take your pick. What matters is that drugs have killed millions, per hour, per diem, per–ever. 
The long list of people who have died from drugs in Hollywood knows no end does it? We watched John Belushi, Jim Morrison, Jimi Henrick, Janis Joplin, Corey Monteith, and Heath Ledger kill themselves. Robert Downey Jr. evidently was saved by his friend Mel Gibson, who himself is an alcoholic. We can only wait and watch for the many who will surely die in the future.
How the Beatles survived is anybody’s guess.
Justin Beiber seems to want to be the next James Dean.
You have to wonder why people who have the world going for them…kill themselves with drugs.
Just WHO is getting these people hooked?
Our own President came out recently and said that marijuana causes no more harm than alcohol. Just the fact, that we elected a President who admitted to be a BIGTIME drug user before he ran for office, shows you just how far we have come in excepting drugs into our lives.
Yes, Obama was one of those rich kids…bored. But cool.
Nobody has said before, Nobody Thinks Obama still does cocaine. I had a doctor tell me once, cocaine is the one drug that nobody can quit. Add to that the pharmaceutical companies pouring out drugs even for babies, and we are a drugged-up society.
Looking back–I’m so glad I did not choose to pay the price for success in Hollywood. I like to think I had a good chance at being a star: I could sing, dance, play drums, keyboards, guitar… But…if hanging out with the ‘right’ people was the price I had to pay, let’s just say, I lacked the ambition.
And I tell myself daily, as I shop at the Dollar Store…I did not grab my fame and fortune when I could have but, Nobody’s Perfect—especially me.
Phillip joins the long list of misplaced souls….
From Drudge:
Some have expressed surprise that Hoffman, who seemed so calm and erudite in public was a drug addict, yet this shows an ignorance of how socially acceptable drug taking is in the film industry. While it would be ridiculous to say everyone is doing it – that’s far from the truth – it’s become so socially accepted that it’s no surprise to hear about anyone who does.
And now, the next time I see the movie, Twister, I will say, “God, I can’t believe he’s dead.”
R.I.P. Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I must admit, you did something that I could have never have done. You paid the highest price there is: for…Hollywood perfection. The world…will miss you.
Nobody Cares If I Love Puppies
Nobody Cares
Ah…come on. Put a puppy in commercial with those beautiful creatures and you have a winner.
I’m watching it one…more…time…because it makes me feel good.
They had me at the first bark.
Scientists Go for the “cool” Factor
Nobody Flashes
I have a friend who thinks this is just the coolest thing he’s ever seen, and what’s funny, is that today I was watching a program on the History Channel–and some geneticist scientist, who was splicing different genes from different species to make more or less monsters, said, she just thought it was so ‘cool.’ that she could do that.
Have we come to the point in science that we do stuff just because we can, and it’s cool?
For instance, would you buy this car?
Sure, the way the door go under the car is cool: But is it practical? Picture that car pulling up to the castle in a heavy downpour. The rain would BLAST into the car, getting the seats, the floor, the dashboard, not to mention everybody sitting in it, soaking wet. When getting out of a car now, only a small space is exposed to the outside and you can hop out in a flash, shut the door quickly, and be off.
But: More importantly, what if you are in a car accident? Your door is jammed. It won’t go down. It won’t go up. You can’t get out. The gas tank explodes.
You’ll more than likely: burn up.
And yet, obviously whomever put the money into making this car thought it was ‘cool’ regardless of its setbacks. And someday, when hybrid humans are walking the planet, and we have members of the species who are abominations to nature, will we all look back and say:
“Look! He has gills! That’s just so cool!”
Nobody Wonders
.
Nobody Flashes Dog Tested Arnold
Nobody Flashes
One of the best things that Youtube gives us is previews of the Superbowl commercials. Here’s a few to warm us up for the game. I love this first one, because I love dogs.
And Arnold is finally getting smart: He could have a whole new career just doing commercial like William Shatner.
(Okay, I liked the “Dog Tested” so much I had to post another one.)
Enjoy!
America–Smoke a Joint and Shop Online. Welcome to the New Millennium
Nobody Wins
I TRY not to watch it but they put it on TV when you least expect it: By that I mean, something that I consider almost as bad as getting the latest virus: I’m talking about Obama’s weekly address, in which he claims every week, that he has cut the deficit in half, (Okay…we still have $17 trillion and counting so where DID you put that 8 1/2 million Mr. President?) unemployment is down, and things are just going great!
But it’s not is it? Obama can put his glossy lipstick on his boogie wide-eyed buster brown prophesies all he wants: but this week has been a disaster in the town of St. Louis. As IF it couldn’t get any worse…it does.
All over the country, giant malls are closing down. Before, Wal-Mart just hurt the mom and pop stores, but there was always the malls. After Bush decided to bail out Wall Street in 2008, we lost five big malls in St. Louis within months. And these were giant malls with hundreds of jobs.
And last week, it finally happened. There was a giant mall near my house that blew its last breath. Jamestown Mall, just died. To some communities, the giant malls were like the beating hearts and center of attraction. Everyone gathers there on Saturdays…just because. And when those big centers of community die, it’s like someone took away your favorite uncle.
And I don’t even LIKE to shop. You could just go and people watch.
The hundreds of stores inside the Jamestown mall all moved out by 2010. But the big attractions: Sears, J.C. Penny and Macy’s were still there. Okay. So there were giant weeds growing up in the parking lot and you felt like zombies could be lurching at you before you got to your car, but once inside Macy’s…there was comfort. You could pretend that life was the same. The perfume was way beyond my wallet— but no matter–it was all pretty. Neat. Colorful.
All was going to be okay…I hoped. (Okay, I knew better, but that’s hard isn’t it?)
Then, ..a year ago, Sears went. Then last week, J.C. Pennies, and now, just yesterday, Macy’s closed, the last store attached to the rest of the mall. It hung on for months–that one last store. It looked like a gigantic dead octopus attached like a sucker fish to a well-lit head.
They just couldn’t heat the mall anymore.
How many jobs were lost? Hundreds. Thousands.
But Obama is ON it.
And now more news:
Get ready for the next era in retail—one that will be characterized by far fewer shops and smaller stores. On Tuesday, Sears said that it will shutter its flagship store in downtown Chicago in April. It’s the latest of about 300 store closures in the U.S. that Sears has made since 2010. The news follows announcements earlier this month of multiple store closings from major department stores J.C. Penney and Macy’s. Further signs of cuts in the industry came Wednesday, when Target said that it will eliminate 475 jobs worldwide, including some at its Minnesota headquarters, and not fill 700 empty positions. Experts said these headlines are only the tip of the iceberg for the industry, which is set to undergo a multiyear period of shuttering stores and trimming square footage.
When the malls go, how much longer can the movie theaters stay in business?
Now, they are SAYING that it’s a change in demographics. People are just buying online more. Which it true. Who wants to risk getting mugged getting out of your car at the local mall…or attacked by carjackers or black gangs looking for trouble on a Saturday night? Something that in Obama land was becoming quite the norm.
This morning, I heard something very sad. There was a restaurant downtown St. Louis, called the Millennium, that was dear to my heart. Every year, we would go as a family to the restaurant at the top of the hotel and take my son to his birthday dinner. It was called, unimaginatively, “The top of the Tower.” Of course it was….but it really was great.
And the reason the restaurant was so cool, is because it actually revolved—The whole damn restaurant. Can you imagine what kind of engineering that took? 
it took an hour to turn the whole floor. You sat by the window and saw the whole city: the Arch, Busch Stadium, the Mississippi…it was beautiful. I remember one time when it snowed the biggest of flakes, and being up that high–looking down on the lights and streets at night through the snowflakes—-It was the most magical of evenings. You could close your eyes and pretend your were in Paris.
Years of memories. Floating back to me now. Closed. For good. Dead. One of the cities last great landmarks. Why?
Nobody Wins when you have politicians that know what’s coming, and act like it’s not happening. They almost pretend it’s not that bad.
But it is.
And Nobody Thinks that why Obama wants everyone to smoke dope.
Rather nice of him….considering he just killed my favorite hotel.
Goodbye Norma Jean. Say hello to the new millennium of lost dreams. Go smoke a joint and thank…
Obama. He is saying “The best is yet to come.”
It’s just going to take a millennium to get here.
Nobody’s Perfect: Richard Sherman VS Muhammed Ali
Nobody’s Perfect
When it comes to sports, this week, we have a new bad boy on the block: Richard Sherman. Okay. I didn’t watch the game, but I didn’t have to. According to Richard himself, he is the bad–est guy in all of football, and was so overpowering Erin Andrews, all she could muster was disbelief. (Really, she was priceless.)
And so, this week I just HAVE to put up more proof, of how seriously our country is in decline. Even our sports hero’s can’t match the sports hero’s of yesterday when it comes to…how to talk smack.
Watch Muhammad Ali show the new boys how to do it–and you tell me…who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
Cassius Clay…and he’s not around to gloat. But if he was, I would sure like to hear what he had to say about Richard Sherman, wouldn’t you?
Richard Sherman definitely needs to practice more on his smack down communications. Julian was right on.
Nobody’s Email: The Griffon
Nobody Gets Email
Remember the days when they just fit TWO people in a car? It’s been quite awhile since I have gotten on a roller coaster, but I must admit, this looks fun. It’s called “The Griffon” and it’s at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia.
I’m already sick of winter…watching “Hawaii” house international is starting to get me really cranky. If I hear another whiny young woman say, “Oh…$850,000 is just a bit over our budget, we were hoping for something around $800,000″ ONE MORE TIME: I think I really WILL write a letter to Obama.
God forbid that day should happen.
So—- I don’t know about you, but I’m making plans already for spring.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to JR)
Nobody Catches Up—
Nobody’s Opinion
Boy, I’ve got some catching up to do haven’t I? It seems the last two weeks, the press has been attacking the two front runners of 2016: Hillary Clinton VS Chris Christie.
The ‘progressives’ have started their attack with the sweet face of Chelsea, who will be running right up front with her mom. She was on Rachael Ray, (more poised than her mother)–in order to get the young single women into the race. Chelsea will be the sweet bullet they will use to get the young vote—in the meantime mom sports the “bangs” that got Michelle’s ‘youth’ vote.
While Chelsea hogs the lame talk shows,
Chris Christie is on full defense. He is being bashed as the man who prevented millions from going to the bathroom on the interstate. And as Rush noted —the dems bring out their stars to insult the front runners—Palin got SNL…Chris Christie gets his state’s hero, none other than Bruce Springsteen to mock him. 
The comrades are just warming up: All the Benghazi investigations cannot even touch the stars that Obama has in his pocket. Hillary, will somehow persevere, if only because, the ‘progressives’ play dirty. and images go much further than common sense in America.
Tom Edison never expected this when he invented the motion picture camera did he now?
Nobody Flashes:
Did you know that Hitler was not killed? According to Jerome Corsi, in his new book, Hitler got out, and lived out his days in Argentina. Hey, why not? I can’t see that idiot killing himself. That’s one book I’m can’t wait to read.
Nobody’s Perfect:
That’s me. It seems my “flu” went into pneumonia…I blame my dog, who thought minus 7 degrees was a day at Maui and decided to let in all the cold air one night while I was sleeping. (Don’t ask, my dog is spoiled, a true American Eskimo.) Good news, antibiotics are kicking in…but I’m not ready for laps just yet.
Nobody Reports
Some GOOD news! China can now send us light bulbs that don’t kill us. If Congress did one thing right, it was open the door to our beloved Edison’s light bulb. Thank you!
Nobody Knows
John Kerry was described as being not only an nincompoop, but completely messianic by one of the Israel’s top guys who KNOWS the Iranians. Nobody Knows how Obama’s big peace movement can be claimed when they now have idiots saying that Iran can’t even make a bomb…but Iran has declared, thanks to Obama, that the West has surrendered. Which is why I present this early picture of Bin Laden: That’s him at 14, second from right….surrendering to the West. (Remind you of anyone?)
And speaking of John Kerry: Did you know he NEVER eats ketchup? That could be his problem Even Jesus would use ketchup on stale bread. (Speaking of Jesus, did you know now that Ariel Sharon has died he is coming back according to this rabbi? )
He just didn’t say when. (The Jews are so smart.)
Nobody Wonders
In the meantime, the NSA continued to collect data on millions of American that it swears it will never see…but it’s just so much fun to collect it.
Rand Paul said having Obama look into potential abuses, was like having the Fox guard the hen house: He had this to say:
“We can’t allow the White House to be the one in charge of overseeing the White House,” he said. “They say collecting all your records is not spying. It is spying.”
Obama’s has put himself in charge of overseeing the whole terrorist NSA thing…which brings this picture to mind: During 9/11, these planes were grounded, waiting for their orders. Imagine where our military will be if we should ever be attacked on our own soil? (again) We are finding out Hillary and Obama saw no reason to protect 4 in the most dangerous place in the world, so…..will they worry about the rest of us, or blame it on a video? (again) And we thought the reaction to 9/11 was bad….
Nobody Wins
Obama has threatened once again, that he will take action with his pen and his phone, if Congress does not bend to his wishes. Imagine the surprise when Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, whose book about Obama has been discussed the whole week, came out with a neck brace and put the record straight: It was CONGRESS’s fault.
That’s just what Obama keeps saying. 
Nobody Wins when your top officials are afraid of the “Commander in Chief” and nobody asks…uh…what happened to your neck Mr. Gates?
Nobody’s Fool
Jimmy Kimmel is Nobody’s Fool
Nobody’s Remembers,
Castro visited the Lincoln Memorial? Did Bin Laden? 
Nobody Cares
Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton playing volleyball. It took a man to make the woman….and we should all care about what’s coming….It was the first time Hillary laid down for Bill Clinton. And something tells me, it won’t be the last. You think Hillary runs the show? Would these two ever commit suicide in a bunker together?
Meryl Streep Blasts Walt Disney-
Nobody Wonders
Nobody Wonders why movie stars just can’t get a life. I’ve now added another “I won’t pay a dime to go see anything she does” actor to my list. It seems last night, at the National Board of Review, where movie stars get together to fawn over each other, about how wonderful and great they all are…It seems Meryl Streep decided to take down another American Icon: Walt Disney.
Why? One: Hillary will be running for President. We need to elevate the woman.
Two: Disneyland was the only place in America you could go and take the family on vacation, and not have to worry about getting mugged, raped, or shot at. Walt Disney was an American Genius, like Steve Jobs, probably had his quirks, but to trash the man now, is in such bad taste, it shows you the egos on some of these people we call ‘stars’ just seem to keep getting bigger.
“Some of his associates reported that Walt Disney didn’t really like women,” Streep said, quoting esteemed animator Ward Kimball on his old boss: “He didn’t trust women or cats.”
Streep talked about how Disney “supported an anti-Semitic industry lobbying group” and called him a “gender bigot.” She read a letter that his company wrote in 1938 to an aspiring female animator. It included the line, “Women do not do any of the creative work in connection with preparing the cartoons for the screen, as that task is performed entirely by young men.”
Oh my, Meryl. He didn’t like woman, cats and Jews. Oh my.
When Michael Eisner took over, the Disney operation did change, and it just didn’t have that Disney touch. And the Disney touch was all about family.
Nevertheless…Streep’s buddy, Bob Reiner said this:.
“We were never around when there was naked women,” Reiner complained.
Let me get this straight Ms Streep: It’s okay for men to look at women as sluts, whores, perfectly catering to the sexual proclivities of every man, but heaven forbid they should want a Disney life at home taking care of their children while dad works. .
Hey, for years I didn’t like cats, and I don’t trust anyone upon first meeting, especially— women..very little. And I’m a woman. And they say that Jews run Hollywood…is that true?: Maybe it was more about the corporate power struggles in Hollywood, than the religion. In fact, Steven Spielberg is Jewish and yet supports Obama who has turned his back on Israel. Does Steven HATE the Jews so much he sides with a prominent enemy of them? So who really hates the Jews? Why don’t you criticize Obama and Steven? Hillary’s not to fond of Israel either.
Walt Disney grew up in a different American world, and gave us all an immense American empire. He brought entertainment and joy into households for years. His creative genius has been copied and loved in every country of the world.
Meryl Streep might be a good actress….but if I had to choose between going to Disneyworld or seeing one of her movies? Please. But hey, kick the man while he’s dead.
Meryl….Go eat an apple. Go make another movie. You can’t even touch Walt’s coattails.
Disney fans could care less.






