Nobody’s Email: Conservative Dogs, Liberal Cats
Nobody Gets Email
Hey…I TOLD you I was going to try to find some more uplifting news for the weekend….not sure if this fits, but it’s cute.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Kim Komando)
Nobody Remembers Yoachum’s Silver
Nobody Remembers
Once upon a time, before Branson Missouri became the wholesome man’s Las Vegas, when Indians were still living the high life in Missouri, “and the livin was eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssssyyy.”..wait.
Somehow I got in Porgy’s And Bess ‘s story…sorry.
It was 1541, and the Spanish had gotten tired of plundering Aztec for gold, and decided to look for the gold and silver in the Ozark mountains. And they found a good spot near Table Rock Lake, now know as Silver Dollar City to entertainers who have made a fortune off of Duck Dynasty’s second cousins, and roller coasters enthusiasts.
Looking around old Indian passage ways, the Spanish found a shelter cave with a good rein of silver ore. The plan was to put the silver in ingots, transport it to the Mississippi River, send it down to the Gulf of Mexico and off to Spain.
And so, they captured local Indians, and made them into slave labor to dig that silver out, and didn’t treat them very well . WHY nobody complains about the cruelty of Spanish slave masters on CNN I’m not sure, except to say, the Indians own Casinos and blacks do not, and if I were black I would blame Jesse Jackson.
(sorry, stick to the story Joyanna)
Needless to say, when the Spanish guys went out hunting, everybody noticed that they didn’t come back, and one morning the Choctaw having had enough, massacre the whole lot of them, although a few escaped.
The silver mine was forgotten for more than two and a half centuries, because the Choctaws didn’t want to mine another single ingot. They had better things to do.
Then, one day, in the middle of a thunderstorm, some Choctaws went to seek shelter, found all these silver ingots, and although they could have cared less about silver, they knew that trading them to the white men for horses and weapons…useful things, might come in handily. So they did.
Valentine’s Day had not been invented yet.
Then one day, some Mexicans came looking for the cave. It seems they had found out about it from an old map given to them by the Spanish guys who had escaped the first massacre. So the Indians decided that cave needed to be sealed. They didn’t want a Mexican invasion either.
The country moved on…and after the war of 1812, our government decided that he Delaware Indians needed to be re-located to the Ozarks, something I’m sure all Delaware people would like to do to any remaining tea party people in their state. . All KINDS of Indians ended up in the Ozarks from all over: Shawnee, Seneca, and Pottawatomie…getting kicked out of their lands.
But hey, Missouri wasn’t so bad.
And then, along came the Yoachum family.
Short history: James Yoachum and his brother Solomon were from Illinois. When James was 18, he abandoned his pregnant wife, and decided to make his fortune trapping furs in the Ozarks. He came back only to find his wife had died in childbirth, so he moved his new son, and his brother and the family to the Ozarks. And though his excuse was that he hated farming, the REAL truth was….
Another woman.
Yes, James married a Delaware Indian woman. Which was a good deal as you will find out.
James was smart. He was always good to the Delaware Indians, gave the horses and food…and they lived in peace together, and then the government came in and told the Delaware Indians they would have to move AGAIN.
No, Obama was not alive yet. It was the Delaware Affordable Move Act.
James was really upset at the government for moving his friends, and so he gave them blankets, food and horse for their journey, and THEY in turn, told him where the silver mine was. But he must promise to never tell anyone where it was. EVER.
And so James got the Silver mine. And whenever they needed to trade, they just went and got a few silver rocks, and they had enough. Everybody was happy, happy, happy.
UNTIL—the government stepped in again. They thought up another LAW. If anybody wanted to buy stuff at the trading post, they had to use American coins. No longer could they trade in furs, or silver, or anything. So, even though the Yoachums had plenty of silver, they had no money. To the government, they were dirt poor.
So..what would YOU do? James just started making his own silver coins, and why not? It had Yoachum on the front and 1822 on the back: United States of America/ One Dollar.
James Yoachum
The Yoachum silver dollar started being used all over the Ozarks, and everyone accepted them BECAUSE it had more pure silver in it than the real American currency.
Oh boy.
Then….THE GOVERNMENT— like the hungry beast that it is, decided that everyone needed to claim their land.They sent a surveying crew to draw out property lines and told everyone that they had to pay a filing fee. And yes, most everyone had Yoachum silver dollar, which of course, the government said was no good. And unless they paid in Government money, they would all lose title to their land.
That agent was run out of town by gunpoint. So, he wrote Washington, sent one of Yoachum’s silver coins, …and Washington saw… that there was silver in” them thar hills”, and wanted that mine.
So one agent went to James’ farm and wanted to know where the mine was. James, like any sensible person who knew he had a second amendment right, took out his gun and ran him off. .
But that agene came back, with eight other armed agents, and so James had to give up. But he refused to tell them where the mine was. Nevertheless James promised to NEVER make another coin again, and he died and the secret entrance to the silver mine filled with silver ingot is still somewhere lying in a cave, just waiting to be found.
Hey, spring is just around the corner, feel like a trip to Six Flags?
By all accounts, this is a true story. (LOL! Unless of course you visit snopes, where Soros has already mined the cave.)
I don’t know what you got out of this story, but I got out of it that I should BURY all my silver coins and never tell the government where it is, if they should ask.
But promise, that I will never make a single coin, because I’m a true American Patriot, and you have to SHOW ME you’re worthy to be my government because I’m from Missouri.
And IF I want to trade my old fur hat— I will.
(Story retold from Troy Taylor’s book, “Out Past the Campfire Light”
Nobody Remembers Why We Are Fat
Nobody Remembers
When I was a kid, nobody was ‘obese.’ Every kid I knew was perfect. Normal. Leave it to Beaver size.
Once a week, my parents drove my brother and I to dancing lessons….110 miles one way across the Tamiami Trail to Miami from Naples. My mother wanted us to be the next Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers–what she got was The Lone Ranger and Tonto. (Another blog)
You would THINK at five, that the highlight of my trip would have been the fabulous underground millionaire shops at the Fountain Blue Hotel where we took our lessons..where movie stars would walk by and hope to be noticed. Or the underground window at the bar, where you could see the swimmers legs dangling under the pool. (Dad loved to stand by that one) Or the excitement of looking for alligators crossing the road. 
Nope.
The highlight of those Saturdays was…WHITE CASTLE. What my brother and I would do for lunch at White Castle. My parents would say, “Hey! So what if it’s a long drive, and you would rather stay home and play with your friends…we’ll go to White Castle!”
You think kids want to sit in a car for two hours, just to be taught how to do the cha-cha by some Cuban guy who couldn’t speak English? Heck no. It was promise of those White Castle smothered in ketchup that made us both into perfect little angels.
I’ve been a burger girl ever since.
Back then, there were not the hundreds of fast food franchises there are today, so is it any wonder that America is on the fat side? I think one of the reasons that America gets fatter by the minute, is because every single town in America has the food strip….you know: Fast Food Heaven Lane. EVERY single town across America is one big glutton street. America really manufactures— Franchisees. Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, KFC…Pizza Hut, etc….
But….according to National Geographic, we can’t blame our fatness on fast food, no…we can blame it on:
THE MONKEY
Yes….that lovable NOT fat ancestor of ours, is the reason we are fat.
Once upon a time, 22 million years ago, the monkeys lazed around in the African rain forest, living on fruit which they ate year round. And then, about 5 million years later, seas receded and ice caps expanded. So, the curious monkeys went over a bridge to some different rain forests.
In other words, like the 49er’s looking for gold in the California desert, they got lost. And it kept getting colder. They couldn’t find fruit any longer, and the trees started losing their leaves.
(I hate when that happens.)
Anyway, the woods started filling up with lots of starving apes. So what happened? According to a scientist named Johnson, a mutation happened. Ape mutated some genes and became a wildly efficient processor of fructose. Even small amounts of sugar were stored as fat, in order to survive months when winter came upon the land and food was scarce.
And then the monkeys moved BACK to Africa and kept that mutative fat storage survival gene and passed it down to us, who according to the scientists— we been struggling with ever since.
That’s why, IF I go and eat the Blue Bunny Cherry Chocolate Ice Cream in my fridge, right now, I will have stored fat for the next two years.
And since sugar stimulates the same pleasure centers of the brain that respond to heroin and cocaine you CAN become addictive to it, and IF you become addicted to let’s say…doughnuts, you can rest assured that your body will store that sugar as fat, and you can blame that on the monkey.
Or if you prefer: the ice age that Al Gore missed.
And in case you haven’t noticed, we ARE coming into another ice age. This could present another problem.
The monkeys might have to go exploring again, and not be able to find fruit, AGAIN, and their genes will mutate…AGAIN…and future humans will be so big, they won’t be able to walk.
They will have to outlaw sugar. (Wait…they did that in New York.)
Instead of all these geneticists trying to design the perfect human baby, maybe they should be working on a gene mutations that takes sugar and turns it into muscle instead. What good is a smart baby if it craves sugar? Huh? Think about that.
And MAYBE the real reason scientists are studying all these monkeys, is because they are waiting for the monkeys to mutate into humans.
Frankly, I am too. I want them to start talking so that we can ask them why they are not fat?
There’s more than one missing link in the scientific liberal basket.
I’m not sure just what to do with this information but, now that I think about it, I’m going to go have a few scoops of chocolate cherry ice cream, and then maybe…White Castle for lunch tomorrow.
I learned my lesson from National Geographic: Don’t Starve–your ancestors will never forgive you.
It’s the least we can do for ‘evolution.’ Go ahead—have one more….
Nobody’s Fool: George Carlin
Nobody’s Fool
Here’s one of my favorite blast from the past: A Classic—George Carlin on Mother Earth and the environmental wackos.
I can never get enough of George, he was Nobody’s Fool…ever.
Enjoy!
Michelle Obama On PUPPY BOWL!!! Nooooooooooo!
Nobody Flashes
NO…NO! NO! NO! This is soooooooooo wrong!
They steal our money, our future, our hopes and dreams and NOW…our Puppies!!!
I just saw Michelle Obama on PUPPY BOWL!
NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Nobody Flashes Bad Lip Reading…NFL
Nobody Flashes on a Saturday morning
Two weeks of hearing about the Superbowl…is enough to drive anybody crazy. So, here’s some fun to get us all in the mood.
It’s for those of us who watch the game and WONDER….what cuss words came out of what player. Now we know.
I wish somebody would make a Mick Jagger video and do this…I could NEVER tell what the heck he was saying.
Enjoy!
Nobody Catches Up—
Nobody’s Opinion
Boy, I’ve got some catching up to do haven’t I? It seems the last two weeks, the press has been attacking the two front runners of 2016: Hillary Clinton VS Chris Christie.
The ‘progressives’ have started their attack with the sweet face of Chelsea, who will be running right up front with her mom. She was on Rachael Ray, (more poised than her mother)–in order to get the young single women into the race. Chelsea will be the sweet bullet they will use to get the young vote—in the meantime mom sports the “bangs” that got Michelle’s ‘youth’ vote.
While Chelsea hogs the lame talk shows,
Chris Christie is on full defense. He is being bashed as the man who prevented millions from going to the bathroom on the interstate. And as Rush noted —the dems bring out their stars to insult the front runners—Palin got SNL…Chris Christie gets his state’s hero, none other than Bruce Springsteen to mock him. 
The comrades are just warming up: All the Benghazi investigations cannot even touch the stars that Obama has in his pocket. Hillary, will somehow persevere, if only because, the ‘progressives’ play dirty. and images go much further than common sense in America.
Tom Edison never expected this when he invented the motion picture camera did he now?
Nobody Flashes:
Did you know that Hitler was not killed? According to Jerome Corsi, in his new book, Hitler got out, and lived out his days in Argentina. Hey, why not? I can’t see that idiot killing himself. That’s one book I’m can’t wait to read.
Nobody’s Perfect:
That’s me. It seems my “flu” went into pneumonia…I blame my dog, who thought minus 7 degrees was a day at Maui and decided to let in all the cold air one night while I was sleeping. (Don’t ask, my dog is spoiled, a true American Eskimo.) Good news, antibiotics are kicking in…but I’m not ready for laps just yet.
Nobody Reports
Some GOOD news! China can now send us light bulbs that don’t kill us. If Congress did one thing right, it was open the door to our beloved Edison’s light bulb. Thank you!
Nobody Knows
John Kerry was described as being not only an nincompoop, but completely messianic by one of the Israel’s top guys who KNOWS the Iranians. Nobody Knows how Obama’s big peace movement can be claimed when they now have idiots saying that Iran can’t even make a bomb…but Iran has declared, thanks to Obama, that the West has surrendered. Which is why I present this early picture of Bin Laden: That’s him at 14, second from right….surrendering to the West. (Remind you of anyone?)
And speaking of John Kerry: Did you know he NEVER eats ketchup? That could be his problem Even Jesus would use ketchup on stale bread. (Speaking of Jesus, did you know now that Ariel Sharon has died he is coming back according to this rabbi? )
He just didn’t say when. (The Jews are so smart.)
Nobody Wonders
In the meantime, the NSA continued to collect data on millions of American that it swears it will never see…but it’s just so much fun to collect it.
Rand Paul said having Obama look into potential abuses, was like having the Fox guard the hen house: He had this to say:
“We can’t allow the White House to be the one in charge of overseeing the White House,” he said. “They say collecting all your records is not spying. It is spying.”
Obama’s has put himself in charge of overseeing the whole terrorist NSA thing…which brings this picture to mind: During 9/11, these planes were grounded, waiting for their orders. Imagine where our military will be if we should ever be attacked on our own soil? (again) We are finding out Hillary and Obama saw no reason to protect 4 in the most dangerous place in the world, so…..will they worry about the rest of us, or blame it on a video? (again) And we thought the reaction to 9/11 was bad….
Nobody Wins
Obama has threatened once again, that he will take action with his pen and his phone, if Congress does not bend to his wishes. Imagine the surprise when Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, whose book about Obama has been discussed the whole week, came out with a neck brace and put the record straight: It was CONGRESS’s fault.
That’s just what Obama keeps saying. 
Nobody Wins when your top officials are afraid of the “Commander in Chief” and nobody asks…uh…what happened to your neck Mr. Gates?
Nobody’s Fool
Jimmy Kimmel is Nobody’s Fool
Nobody’s Remembers,
Castro visited the Lincoln Memorial? Did Bin Laden? 
Nobody Cares
Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton playing volleyball. It took a man to make the woman….and we should all care about what’s coming….It was the first time Hillary laid down for Bill Clinton. And something tells me, it won’t be the last. You think Hillary runs the show? Would these two ever commit suicide in a bunker together?
Ha. Mr. Corsi…your next book.
NEVER Get Sick on a Weekend…
Nobody’s Opinion
Okay…I know I said I’d be back…but in my humble Nobody Opinion, my ‘flu’ has turned into major bronchial infection. Somehow, I now need brandy to stop coughing. I need drugs.
Life is rough, when your husband is trying to get you to drink, so he can sleep. 
So— I need at least a few more days to stay in bed.
But, there is one thing that drives me crazy. You know how everyone has complained that everyone uses the ER instead of going to their doctor?
Could it be that half the people get REALLY sick on the weekend, and—
DOCTORS DO NOT WORK ON WEEKENDS!!!!
There. I’ve said it. And not loud enough either. You either pay a fortune at the ER…or you try not to die on a weekend. And with Obamacare, soon you will be lucky to even see a doctor during the week…it will be the “nurse.”
I know one thing; Next summer: EXTRA laps in the pool…
Thanks everyone for hanging in there, all your well wishes…and PLEASE stayed tuned. I have a BIG bottle of Brandy.
(By the way, I just thought the picture was funny…)
Nobody’s Perfect: Melissa-Harris Perry VS Dennis Rodman
Nobody’s Perfect:
Last week, the biggest talk was the meltdown of MSNBC reporter, Melissa-Harris Perry, who apologized for making jokes about Mitt Romney’s black adopted grandchild. It wasn’t really the fact that she insulted Mitt Romney that brought the tears, no..it was the whole ‘diversity’ issues to which she and her liberal colleges have been taught since kindergarten IS the most important thing in the world…we must accept everyone as equals. How she could commit such a crime is almost beyond understanding. After all…she is from a diverse background herself.
Alec Baldwin immediately came out and wondered if he would be forgiven for his ‘gay’ comments if he cried.
Hey, go for it, Alec.
And then there’s Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman, is taking some of his basketball buddies to North Korea do some more ‘basketball diplomacy’ —a unique style of foreign diplomacy developed first hand, by President Obama himself.
Officially, the White House denies that Rodman is standing in for Obama—-it’s all just fun and games. Nevertheless…Dennis is still going to visit his favorite little buddy Kim Jong–Un for his Birthday Party….AFTER the important news that the little guy had thrown his own uncle (and five of his friends) to wild dogs to be eaten alive.
Initial speculation was that Jang had been killed by firing squad, a fate that media outlets said was the usual one reserved for “traitors.” But an alternative narrative of the 67-year old’s death emerged on what appears to have been a satirical post on the Chinese Tencent Weibo site that has been repeated by many media outlets worldwide.The Dec. 11 post on Tencent Weibo said Jang and five aides were killed by dogs.
So, officially, well…that didn’t happen. The uncle ‘probably’ died the old-fashioned way: death by firing squad. Still…you have to wonder at the mental state of anyone who would want to ever visit someone who had just killed their own uncle.
The game will feature many old-timers of the NBA…and one can only assume our President would love to attend.
So–who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week? In my Nobody’s Opinion, the man who really won this week, needs no introduction—
Let’s Just Go Play Golf…
Nobody Gets Email
In celebration of Obama’s 160th round of golf, I present the real Masters…
Enjoy!
Have You Checked Your Baby Monitor Lately?
Nobody Reads
I was cleaning out junk yesterday in my ‘storage’ room —-you know, that room filled with…maybe I should save this, you never know when I might need an actual phone that you can plug in…(of course I have over 10 of them that I don’t need) when I came across my old baby monitors.
If you’ve ever had a kid, you know how much those things came in handy. I loved my baby monitor. Since my son was born at six months, and had been on a respirator for over a month in a children’s hospital, when I finally got to bring him home, I didn’t let him out of my sight. BUT…I got tired of sitting by his crib and leaning over just to make sure he was BREATHING. Sooner or later you have to wash the dishes.
The reason I bring this up, is I am here to inform Edward Snowden of something he forgot to mention: If you have a baby, and a baby monitor…better check it. Baby monitors are being hacked.
This from Forbes issue Feb, 2013: A Google for Hackers—
“Marc Gilbert got a horrible surprise from a stranger on this 34teh birthday in August. After the celebration had died down, the Houston resident heard an unfamiliar voice coming from his daughter room: the person was telling his sleeping 2 year old, “Wake up, you little slut.” When Gilbert rushed in, he discovered the voice was coming from his baby monitor and that whoever had taken control of it was also able to manipulate the camera. Gilbert immediately unplugged the monitor but not before the hacker had a chance to call him a moron. The monitor, made by Foscam of Shenzhen, China, lets users monitor audio and video over the internet from anywhere in the world. “
Now, one HAS to wonder why anybody would want to sit and watch a baby sleep…maybe he was hoping mom would come in and breast feed, but in the future, they want to put monitors on refrigerators so the government can actually know when you are eating and when you’re not. A voice will come out of nowhere and say, “You are not allowed to have that today.”
This will be done of course, to protect you from terrorists.
You know where this is going don’t you? I’m a night person. I stay up late, which means, the last time I saw the sunrise Carter was President. When your TV is hooked up to the internet, anyone will be able to turn on your camera in your bedroom, and even say things like…
“Wake up, you big slut.”
I can’t wait.
Mama….Don’t Feed Me to John Brennan
Nobody Wins
Confession: I am not particularly fond of New Year’s Eve. I’m glad it’s over. You can ignore birthdays…you can look in the mirror every birthday and say things like “Hey, I don’t look so bad for 108! I’m at least still standing, and don’t look a day over 75!
Yes, you can always lie on your birthday, but not when it comes to the New Year. You can’t deny…you are now in the NEXT year. You cannot deny, you ARE a year older. Damn.
But there is one thing that really bugged me over the holiday weekend. Well…actually two, but let’s stick with the simple one first…maybe this has happened to you:
I get tired of eating the same thing for lunch…so I decided to buy one of those frozen lunch dinners…and so, I saw the cover (see cover) and that looked GOOD! Shrimp Fried Rice…No fat! My goodness…look at all that shrimp. And lots of peas. And a lady that looked just like a grandmother from Italy with the words saying.
“Let Mama Feed You”
Okay! I tried it. I tried Mama Michelina’s Shrimp Fried Rice. And Mama, we have a problem:
Dear Mamma Michelina
Imagine my surprise when I opened up my much anticipated lunch, savoring the thought of your delicious looking shrimp on the cover of your frozen food entry, and Mama…I’m sorry, but you forgot to put in the shrimp.
Actually, I did find ONE shrimp, about the size of a herbies virus. In fact, it was so small, I thought it might be a discolored pea. You also left out the peas. I counted one shrimp, and four peas so small, I wasn’t sure I should eat them for fear they were diseased.
I have EAR wax bigger than those peas.
Rice…oh there was a bit of that. All in all Mamma, I really don’t want you to ever feed me again.
Sincerely,
Nobody you would want to know.
Nobody Wins when your local food market is stocked with frozen foods with great looking pictures on the boxes, which do not contain actual food.
And so, people eat this stuff, and in about 10 minutes they are starving (because there really was no food to be found) and so they eat whatever happens to get them through to supper, which in my case was chewy chocolate chips cookies.
No wonder American is fat.
Now…in a completely different subject (or not, considering Mama ripped me off) Obama has appointed John Brennan to be the CIA director. (Another fine American rip-off.)
From WND—-
One of the FBI’s former top experts on Islam has announced that President Obama’s pick to head the Central Intelligence Agency, John Brennan, converted to Islam years ago in Saudi Arabia.
As WND has reported, former FBI Islam expert John Guandolo has long warned that the federal government is being infiltrated by members of the radical Muslim Brotherhood. But Guandolo now warns that by appointing Brennan to CIA director, Obama has not only chosen a man “naïve” to these infiltrations, but also picked a candidate who is himself a Muslim.
Great: Our CIA Director is a Muslim.
I hope he eats mama Michelina.
The Most Memorable— “Stick Foot in Mouth” —Quotes of 2013
Nobody’s Perfect
Some people just put their foot in their mouths every other day. And some people actually THINK before they speak. I’ve done more of the former than the latter. For instance, once after I had played and sang at a funeral for a friend who had lost his mother… Jesse (that actually was his name) went out of his way to thank me sincerely for making the day so special: And I said in my most sincerest voice—“I’d be happy to sing at any future family funerals Jesse.”
What I MEANT was: Anytime you need me, to do it again, just call, but whoa…he took it to mean, I couldn’t wait for his whole family to drop dead. Not what I was trying to say that…but to this day, I don’t trust myself when I speak…my brain goes faster than my mouth, and I’m totally bored with whatever I was thinking, on to the next thought I go, and my mind is usually on another subject by the time I get to the second word. Which means, I’m not paying a bit of attention to what I’m saying.
(Anybody else have that problem?) We’ve all been there. And THIS year, the media has published the most famous quotes of the year, many of us would like to forget, including the people who said them. Listed below are the “not so perfect” and then a few gems. My Nobody’s Perfect column fits perfectly with the last day of the year. Imperfection is at least one thing that we truly do, all have in common.
The Not So Perfect Quotes of 2013.
“My father had a ranch. We used to hire 50 to 60 wetbacks to pick tomatoes.”— Alaska Republican congressman Don Young
I missed that one. I think it would be a good name for a football team. Wetbacks. Maybe the Indians would feel better about the Redskins.
“Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But … am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors.”…Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
Nobody bothered to ask Rob how MANY drunken stupors Bob has had. But then again, it’s Canada, where everybody is drunk most of the time because the beer tastes better there. He’s perfect for them.
I can give assurances to the public’s in Europe and around the world that we’re not going around snooping at people’s emails or listening to their phone calls.”— President Barack Obama
B.S. —Before Snowden
“Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.” Joe Biden
This proves that Dick Cheney could break into Joe’s house, no problem.
“There is overwhelming evidence that the Tea Party is the home of bigotry and discrimination in America today, just as the KKK was for an earlier generation. If the hood fits, wear it.”— U.S. Representative Alan Grayson (D-Florida)
I have a hood?
“I think we disproportionately stop whites too much and minorities too little.”— New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg
The most intelligent thing ever uttered by a New York Mayor.
“If you like your health care plan, you can keep it.”— President Barack Obama
He didn’t really say that. What his mind was thinking is: You can’t keep your plan, I am getting rid of it, it’s just that my mouth wasn’t listening to my thoughts…
“embrace the suck.”
Nancy Pelosi telling the world, that we are going to be sucked dry of everything. And she sucks. Good to know.
“I didn’t set a red line. The world set a red line.”– President Barack Obama
And then, it crossed it again and again, amazingly not disturbing the many flights of Air Force One. Maybe he got confused. Obama has crossed too many red lines to count. In fact, I think he could be color blind, and everything is black and white. There IS no red.
“I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation, based on assurances they got from me”- President Barack Obama
No he’s not.
“What difference, at this point, does it make?”- Hillary Clinton
The difference it makes, is you want to be President.
“Not everyone is going to be able to be a combat soldier, but everyone is entitled to a chance” Leon Panetta
Hey, I’m a woman….can I try out for the New York Yankees? I understand I won’t even have to warm up!
“If you’re not getting a call from a terrorist organization, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Lindsey Graham
I get calls from the government all the time: I’m worried.
“The era of the lawn in the West is over.” Paul Robbins, director of the Nelson Institute of Environmental Studies. at the University of Wisconsin.
Congress is exempt from this one too. All Congressmen and women’s lawns WILL be watered. Daily.
“Hold the burgers, hold the fries, make our wages supersize.!” NY city fast food workers.
Well, then go do what the CEO’s do…demand your salary be paid to you in corporate stock, and leave my dollar menu alone.
“I was Hannah Montana’s mother…Where did I go wrong?” Brooke Shields
Where every mother goes wrong: It’s all about the hair. Did you tell her the cut was all wrong for her?
The Perfect Quotes:
“I don’t want to live in a world where everything that I say, everything I do, everyone I talk to, every expression of creativity or love or friendship is recorded.” —-Edward Snowden.
I don’t either Edward…thanks.
“Twenty years from now, if there is some obscure Trivial Pursuit question, I am confident I will be the answer.”— Ted Cruz.
And thanks to you, I WILL remain the King of the Trivia Pursuit in my family: Green eggs and ham.
“Some of us feel like we are in a circular firing squad.”—– GOF P Virginia, Shelley Moore Capitol
The shutdown insanity….where local people survived but GOP representatives. Got shot with Obama bullets of blame for something he caused. Welcome to our world Ms. Moore.
“It does give you a perspective on humanity…they just came in, they helped, and they left.” —Boulder resident Kim Schuler after the epic flooding in Colorado.
Boulder resident find out white (probably republicans) humans are actually kind and good, and are great to have around in a crisis. Who knew?
“Obamacare is really the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. It is slavery, in a way.”— Neurosurgeon Ben Carson
Dear Ben: Please run for President. Congress is in dire need of a major brain surgeon. 
“So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will,’” wrote comedian Patton Oswalt on Facebook after the Boston bombing.
Taken without political correctness…one of the best quotes of the year.
“The Fed manages what has become the biggest transfer program to the rich, channeling cheap credit to the government and big business. It comes at the expense of small businesses where most fit entry-level jobs are created. The fed has gained colossal new discretionary powers to micromanage the whole financial system. The Fed gives it whatever money it wants. It comes under no congressional control.. This is all blatantly unconstitutional but that matters less and less these days.” —Steve Forbes
Steve Forbes: A rich man we can trust. See? There are good rich men! Rejoice! Obama is making sure you don’t see them. But..they ARE out there. We’re not finished yet.
Nobody Notes: I really hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year’s celebration!
My advice: Don’t drink and talk. You might end up here next year.
UPDATE: WAIT…let’s add one more favorite quote:
“Just remember, the harder they squeeze, the more we’ll slip through their fingers.” snopercod
Could Dracula’s Bloodline Run Through Obama’s Veins?
Nobody Remembers
Now that the fun and parties of the holidays are almost over, we must remember: The bloodsucking taxes of Obamacare will be hitting us in 2014, so I’m using that unpleasant thought to go back in history in order to’ remember’ the first most famous bloodsucker in history: Dracula.
Once upon a time, in the part of Romania called Wallachia, there was a Hungarian Prince called Mircea the Elder. Mircea had a son out of wedlock, and so, Planned Parenthood not being founded yet, he named the son Vlad and gave him away to be bought up in the court of Hungary’s King Sigismund, no doubt to keep him away from his wife.
That seemed a smart move at the time, but we all know what happens when parents desert their children and let other people raise them. (See White House)
When Micea died, Vlad was not given control of Wallachia, (remember, he was a one-night stand) but to make him feel a bit better, he was made a Knight of the Order of the Dragon. The Dragons were formed to defend the Christian world from the Turks. And to make him feel even more important, they gave him the name Dracul, which means dragon, and made him the governor of Transylvania.
They do this same strange habit today to pacify certain people. Since Hillary is from Chicago, she should have run as a Senator of Chicago, but…she was not allowed so they let her be a Senator of New York.
I know, off subject.
Dracul had three legitimate sons in Transylvania: Mircea, Vlad and Radu. And so he went and took back his dad’s seat of power in Wallachia, but instead of being a true Dragon, he got the Turks to help him do it.
So much for the honor of the Dragon.
Dracul, like his father before him, sent two of his sons, Vlad and Radu to live in Adrianople, which was the seat of the Ottoman Empire. This sending kids away from their parents, never ends up well. As it happens, this time it was a good thing they were away because in 1448, Dracul and Mirea (Dad and oldest son) were killed in Wallachia by the Hungarian government and that made the Turks pretty nervous.
SO— What to do? The Hungarians had taken BACK Wallachia. So the Turks armed 17-year-old Vlad, who was known as “Son of Dragon,” which is what the name Dracula really means, and after a few years of fighting, Dracula, son of Dracul, took back his throne in Wallachia, and announced he was going to be called Prince Vlad III
( A name that I think Obama should seriously consider when he gets back off his vacation.)
THEN— Right after he was crowned Prince, Dracula invited all the destitute souls from the streets of his kingdom to a great feast at his castle. After the feast he got all the poor, frail, and aged and asked if they would like to be without care, lacking nothing in this world?
To which they all cried, “I want my Obamaphone!” No, that was just one lady, who was the mother of Nostradamus, but they all, of course said, “YES! YES! And FOOD STAMPS, please!”
And then— Dracula boarded up the castle and—- set it on fire. He said, there was little place in his society for people who would be a burden, and anybody who did not contribute to the community should receive little sympathy. (And to think– we now see this very same concept in Common Core)
And YOU thought Obamacare came from the communist playbooks. HA! Read your history.
Dracula didn’t stop there. He took similar action with Wallachia’s dignitaries. He had the old ones impaled, and sent the others to build him a castle at Poenari. (Which still stands today) And then he got his own nobles put in their old positions.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: Gee. Obama fired all our top generals, he’s stacking the courts with his buddies that will obey him…he’s just like Dracula!
HA! Not yet. You see, Dracula really enjoyed watching people die by being hoisted onto sharpened poles. His people called him Vlad the Impaler. He liked to skin people and boil them alive. He killed children and the old, and it is said that 20,000 dead bodies hung from the walls of Tirgoviste, and by the end of his time, he had killed 80,000, or who know how many? This was before we had government accountants.
Dracula liked everyone to see the impaled bodies. It was his way of getting good PR for the Dracula Health Care Plan.
Have you heard Obama say he wanted to do any of these things? NO. All he has said is that if his enemies bring a knife to the fight, he will bring a gun. No, Obama is much kinder. Instead of putting people in boiling water and watching them die, he just likes to hear that they will be dying from lack of his Obamacare…slowly, painfully, and with no mercy.
That’s a far cry from impaling. Obama may have much in common with Dracula, but you must admit, his methods of killing are much more civilized.
Dracula was so disgusting that even the Turks couldn’t stand him anymore, and so the Turks sent his brother Ragu to kill him. Like most megalomaniacs, Dracula ran, and Ragu ruled for awhile. After Ragu died of syphilis, Dracula came back and got back his throne But the Turks, in the end, came back and killed him.
The Ottoman Sultan then displayed his head on a spike in Constantinople…just to assure everyone that the wicked witch of the North was really dead.
There ‘s a bloodsucking message to be learned here: Taxes can suck the life out of you surely as someone impaling you and watching you die a slow death.
Nobody Thinks Obama and Vlad, both children thrown away by their own parents, have something in common. Dracula loved watching people die, slow and painfully. And by the looks of it, Obama is getting a big kick out of watching Americans be tortured in a slow death..spiral with no revival.
Forget the birth certificate: Let’s run a DNA blood test, and look for the Dracula blood line. Think I’m crazy?
In October 2011, Prince Charles publicly claimed that he is a descendant of Vlad the Impaler. The claim accompanied his announcement of a pledge to help conserve the forested areas of Transylvania.
See? Obama is related by blood to George W. Bush, who IS related to Prince Charles.
I’m serious. Maybe there IS a torture gene. (Okay, I’ll shut up.)
(Note: Some historians have put a honorable twist on Dracula saying he had to protect himself from the Muslims, since he was a Christian. WHY the Christians want to claim him is beyond me.)
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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