Smut Peddlers Who Care…
Nobody Remembers
Larry Flynt came out this week and offered his usual $1 million dollars to anyone who had any kind of sex with Rick Perry. Rick must feel honored. He got offered MORE than Casey Anthony. Larry only offered her $500,000 to pose nude in his magazine. Nobody Remembers that this is not the first time Larry has tried to get the dirty digs and ruin the political careers of Republicans, although, Nobody Remembers that Larry once ran for political office as one, years ago.
No doubt, wearing a Halloween mask.
Back in 1998, Bob Livingston, Speaker of the Republican House, resigned after he heard that Hustler had the goods on him. At the time Larry was helping out his old outhouse buddy, Bill Clinton, and did a fine job at it too. After all, Bill was not the only one having “affairs” with Cuban cigars. Bill sent his bull-dog out to get the Republicans, and he did.
This is all so Mafia…really. Liberals hang around in the same circles of smut. Therefore, there is that natural attraction. They probably even sniff each other’s butts. (Okay, these images come into my mind when I see Larry’s picture..I instantly think: Dog–sorry.)
Larry is die-hard, bi-polar, atheist, Democrat— although he once professed to be an evangelical Christian after meeting Jimmy Carter’s sister. And for all his babbling about ‘free speech rights,’ the Democrats won’t even let you utter a word that they do not agree with. But THEY can call you Nazi, raciest, and bigot.
Republicans have no free speech rights, but Larry doesn’t care as long as they buy his magazines and go to his clubs. He is THE poster boy for the Democratic Club of whores if I may add.. and will do anything to help them out. Why he is not trying to find dirt on Mitt Romney tells you at least, that he considers Mitt a man of his liking. 
Poor Larry. He was raised by his mother and grandmother in extreme poverty and therefore grew up and started strip clubs, no doubt caused by the absence of a father. (Nobody makes this psychological stuff up.) He started the Hustler Magazines because his strip clubs were losing money (during Jimmy Carter’s recession) and so, to pay for the startup of the magazine, he deferred payments of sales taxes his clubs owned for their “activities.”
He did NOT go to jail. Why is that?
And that’s not all. He was once sentenced to 25 years for organized crime , and served six days. BUT…some great judge did send him to jail once for six months for wearing an American Flag as a diaper.
Nobody would have given him ten years.
After he got out, he was a candidate in the recall election of California Governor Gray Davies, calling himself a “smut peddler who cares.” That just about sums up every speech by every liberal I’ve ever heard. And if that isn’t absurd: Nobody remembers another quote from the great Larry Flynt:
“Just because I publish pornography does not mean that I am not concerned about the social ills that all of us are.”
You have it. According to Larry porn is not a social ill, but WE are. Go tell that to all the people who have been killed by the serial killers who get addicted to it. Not to mention, porn is the biggest money making industry on the planet.
Tell me, why aren’t all these CEO’s of porn on the Forbes 500 lists? Mmmmm? Surely they make more than Warren Buffet. You know they do. I know they do. They just don’t want anyone else to know they do, least we follow the dots.
Now, if Larry wanted to make more than a million: He should make an offer for someone to come up with smut on ‘President’ Obama. Why settle for less money, when you can have MORE Larry?
Think about it. If the Republicans could get smut on Obama they would. So…the logical analysis in my nobody mind on this point of absence by conservatives, is that all smut is owned by democrats.
The Smut Peddlers who care.
Simon Says: WAVE OBAMA!
NOBODY KNOWS
When this picture first came out…everybody thought it was photo-shopped. After all who in the world would do such a adolescent thing?
Comes to find out…our President!
So, who was he waving at?
Hi World! I just made a really fantastic speech here…did you hear it? I know, I’m in the middle again, and it was not easy to get here either. The lady next to me kept standing on my foot. I want you to know, that I did not photo-shop my birth certificate as they say…no..this is proof. Everyone is going to fight over whether I’m REALLY in this picture..because I look so fake! See! Something can look fake and it’s actually real! So America..you are a bunch of fools because that birth certificate is just as real as me standing here waving at cha! Ask that guy in the front row…he knows. Besides…here at the United Nations, I am the best and only hope for the world. I follow the just and equal Charter of the U.N., and hey—all I have to do is pay for a few more hotel bills. Oh…and that guy behind me is just another gook. These people really need me, and there are rumors that I might get the head job here if the elections don’t go so well. As President of the U.N. I will be able to get rid of that pesky Netanyahu who keeps trying to tell me Jewish history. Really. As if I don’t know.
Okay, so he looks like he is saying “Hi mom!” Don’t be fooled. He was probably waving at somebody he wanted to catch up with, forgetting that he would spoil the picture because to Obama…he IS the picture.
Either that or someone yelled out, “Hey Obama..WAVE!” And they caught the picture just to mess up his day! And that is why everyone else in the picture is laughing, because he is so stupid, he did it. Like when as kids you played Simon Says: Without saying Simon Says first.
Hey Obama…WAVE!
And he did. Photographer…wins!
Nobody Flashes the Way to Obama’s Heart
Nobody Flashes:
Some of you I know, may not have seen this yet. Leave it to Drudge to dig up the really funny stuff that you have to see to believe.
I have only one thing to say: I will bet you —that this guy voted for Obama. I think he needs more potato chips, don’t you?
Like to Fly? If Not, You WILL…
Nobody Gets MORE Email
Well, not all is gloomy, especially if you are going to be one of the fortunate in the NEW WORLD ORDER to take trips across the sea. Check out this new design in public transportation.
The question they don’t answer in this video is just how much the really cool sleeping births with the private TV’s up on the top deck will cost. (darn)
These are coming just in time for the millions of Americans who will be flying to Thailand and India to get that heart operation at great hospitals overseas who charge 10% less than here in the states. Our hospitals will become the worst in the world…but…for a few more bucks, Americans will be able to fly oversees for that operation, at a top-notch hospital with doctors that are trained here in the state. You will get nurses that actually answer your bell if you ring it. That alone is worth the trip. The hospital rooms are beautiful and they don’t even kick you out if you want to stay a few more days after giving birth! Wait…then the baby would not be an American citizen….not to worry. Global citizenship is right around the corner.
So, you’re still recovering from that hip replacement? Stay in the top floor bedroom bunks on your flight home. I’m sure the flight attendant will accept tips.
Granted, this will be only for people who have money, which means, I will have to seduce a pilot, which means, I’m not ever going to see one except in this video. But, that doesn’t mean YOU can’t enjoy it.
(Thanks again to Pattie.)
Rodent Discrimination
Nobody Wonders….
If I could get 13 of my backyard rats to do this. I really don’t want to remain a nobody all my life. Does Guinness accept rodent tricks?
I would name them after condiments too: Ketchup, pickles, mustard, salt, pepper, mayo, horseradish, ginger, hot sauce, red, honey mustard…and rat dog.
I looked, and the rat is pretty much ignored in the Guinness World Record Book.
I’m writing my Congressmen…who…as a rat, will be sure to help out in this gross injustice.
(Nobody didn’t WANT to make this stuff up, but I couldn’t help myself.)
Tea Party Debate For Sleepy Heads
Nobody Reports
What did we find out last night from the tea party Republican debates besides the fact that the liberal CNN put it on so that they could manipulate the front runners that THEY want to win? Put your two favorites moderates right in the middle.
We found out that’ they’ (which includes whomever runs the media and therefore our opinions) want the race to be between Romney and Perry, (because they HATE the tea party) and that all the liberal pundits were out today to smear Perry, so they want the very liberal Romney to win. That’s explains WHY Romney has been winning in every single poll and will continue to win in every single poll, no matter how the people feel.
AND, we found out that it is advised to do a lot of caffeine when watching a two hour debate of any kind.
Here’s a quick summary.
Rich Perry: The only candidate who keep looking RIGHT into the camera, and who said that mandating vaccines into young girls was his way of saving them. And he also believes in giving illegals a very good education so they don’t have to live off the dole, forgetting to mention that giving free college educations to illegal’s is GIVING THEM THE DOLE! By the end, I was expecting him to look into the camera and say: “Brylcreem–a little dap will do ya!
Mitt Romney: We saw a kinder, gentler man..and somehow I don’t remember a single thing he said, which is exactly why he will probably get the nomination. He looked like a cruise ship captain.
Rick Santorum: Two words will sum this guy up: Prom King
Newt Gingrich: Newt was Paul Revere tonight: “The Obama’s are coming! The Obama’s are coming! And can you believe I get paid to do this stuff?”
Ron Paul: The old man of the sea… got big boos when he says that if we just get out of all the wars and quit messing around, we would not get attacked. Which sounded good in 1776. But, history records that the British burnt down the White House, AFTER the revolution, with only Dolly Madison left to save George’s picture. He should have said, “Think…would Michelle save George Washington’s picture if the Muslims were burning down the White House? ” He should call me.
Herman McCain: “I will run this country like I did all my other fast food restaurants, with a sense of humor!”
Jon Huntsman: “I will bring my Harley to the White House and ride around Washington because I love my bikes!” What he didn’t say was how much the extra snipers on the rooftops were going to cost.
Michelle Bachmann: The, “HEY…I won the Iowa straw poll and they keep saying that Romney and Perry are the frontrunners when they’re NOT!” Actually, she was the best at being honest and truthful in a room full of major ego’s. Already she is being said to have been too “shrill.”
And so, once again, nobody admits, I fell asleep..sorry.
Nobody’s Perfect: Obama VS SpongeBob SquarePants
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we find out a clue to an important question that many of us in the nation have been asking ourselves—
Was Obama raised on SpongeBob SquarePants? Has he been secretly watching the program? Does he watch SpongeBob on his I-Phone? Is that why he fought the Secret Service so hard to keep it?
Have you noticed recently that Obama seems to keep repeating himself? Could the President have short-term attention deficit?
This important research was released today:
CHICAGO (AP) – The cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants is in hot water from a study suggesting that watching just nine minutes of that program can cause short-term attention and learning problems in 4-year-olds.
Frankly, I’m worried. By his behavior, and by this new information, it’s possible that Obama has logged in more than five or six years of Mr. SquarePants, which explains why he keeps ending up on the golf course. He really has no idea how many times he has been there. He simply doesn’t remember. He has short-term deficit…a problem even SpongeBob himself does not have.
Just today, ‘President’ Obama gave a jobs speech, repeating the very same things he has been talking about since before he was elected: and yet, he is acting like it’s a brand new concept. Tax the rich. Tax the rich,…and tax the rich.
This continuous repetition about taxing the rich…is becoming a red flag for his obvious SpongeBob metal deficit.
But there is more: He wants to rebuild the infrastructure of the United States. But, somehow he has forgotten the GE moved all its manufacturing to China. He said that’s what the FIRST $800 billion dollar stimulus was for, jobs and infrastructure. We all remember—but…nothing was shovel ready, when he said it would be shovel ready. That was only a year ago. Did he forget?
Is Obama seeing Lobsters dancing when he looks down from Air Force One? Is there a SquarePants Czar in the Oval Office telling him to get on the plane? Is that why he keeps getting on Air Force One? He forgot he was just on it?
This just in:
President Barack Obama on Monday proposed paying for his jobs plan by eliminating $467 billion in tax breaks for wealthier Americans and corporations, triggering a new battle with Republicans in Congress.
He said that he would “take” away tax loopholes, to anyone making $200,000 a year, or a family making $250,000. That means, if you are thinking about giving to the mentally ill down the street,(or in the White House) or public broadcasting, just so that you can keep some money to take a vacation this year… FORGET IT!
Obama is also suggesting cutting the Social Security taxes in half. Did he forget what he has promised? He wants to SAVE the program. Yep, he forgot.
Poor SpongeBob. He has no clue that the very President he has been entertaining for all these years, is actually trying to pass a bill that will destroy his job. People will not have enough money left after paying for all the new taxes to continue their Nickelodium cable subscriptions. But, good news…the kids in Saudi Arabia will still get their SpongeBob fix. Which…could be a good thing when they forget just where they were suppose to detonate.
The test said that it was the fast paced actions of SpongeBob that caused the “brains” to stop functioning.
Really, it’s not the fast action of the program that is making kids stupid, it’s the politically correct garbage they pump out on the show. Thank goodness SpongeBob was not around during the first landing on the moon…those guys would still be up there, having forgot where they placed the moon module.
So…either SpongeBob SquarePants is really a secret-ops CIA initiative to dumb down the world, (including the Taliban) or the Republicans are streaming it into Obama’s head when he sleeps. Nobody is glad I figured this out.
If you want final proof that our President suffers from short-term attention deficit, he said “PASS THIS BILL!” fifteen times during his speech, and since that time, he has been repeating it every five minutes.
If I were a Republicans candidate running for election, I would certainly bring this matter of Obama’s SpongeBob short-term mental deficit up in the debates.
Of course…they might have to repeat it to him a few times…
Progressively Fear-Baiting Puppies
Nobody’s Opinion: Here we go again: Katia the hurricane is heading for New Orleans. Really, the nerve. She should have gone to Texas, because about right now, you could do a fast quick-step in the dirt, cause a spark, and burn down half of Dallas it’s so dry. New Orleans doesn’t need more mud on Bourbon Street, the participation from urination will keep it wet well through 2050.
But, we live in the world of “Hurry up and make it sound ominously like the end.” I realized that we are getting minute by minute updates on disasters, storms, debt crisis, and terrorists, and it’s becoming annoying. I get extremely overly excited when I see a puppy commercial now because I’m getting so desperate for something normal to come on TV.
“Look…Look…a puppy! A puppy!”
I’m not proud of this, but I figure it’s not my fault. I’m becoming Armageddon challenged.
I was pretty scared by Kim’s Kardashian’s wedding myself. I find myself praying that she would NOT bear children. Can you just imagine their children? What is he…six feet fourteen? Mixed that with 64tripleD boobs…we are talking a whole new species. The planet doesn’t have that much room.
I was thinking about the fear factor today, and how the news is ALWAYS bad, and decided to make a list of all the things I’m suppose to fear from both parties, in order to get a logical perspective:
Democrats:
Pollution:
1. Take it from Daryl Hanna: if you burn oil in your car, you are destroying the very water, food, and air that you breath. If a pipeline is built down through the United States from Canada, it will spill into the aqueducts and kill all the poor illegal’s in New Mexico, who will be drinking it out of the local desert spigots. I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty dire.
The fact that those tanks from Fema that are meant to protect DreamWorks won’t be needed anymore because the sheer volume of oil, if it should happen to escape the pipeline, will destroy Los Angeles, along with Steven’s famous props from JAWS.
Almost makes you want to give Daryl a big hug. Go ahead guys. She probably hasn’t had a good hug since John-John left her for that other blond.
AND MORE Pollution:
2. Al Gore is right. He won, and the earth lost because Al did not become President and therefore we have to close down all the parks in California, so that the Bohemian Grove can fit more people in it this year. Obama is bringing his whole tribe from Kenya, and they need to build more tents. In fact he plans to leave them there. That’s why they have to close the parks to the public. God forbid they wander into the Redwood forest and find drunk Kenyan’s roasting Mexicans.
The rich this year have so much discuss: Basically, how do they keep the banks printing enough money so that Fannie and Freddie can give more homes to Obama’s new arrivals, and kept their bonuses coming on strong? And …should they let Janet Napolitano dress in drag this year?
Jobs
3. The poor illegal immigrants must get amnesty, or America is doomed. As Bill Clinton warned, without new young Nino’s, wino’s and Nina’s, those guys in DC will have to take less. Besides, they are starving, and if that tea party doesn’t let them in, then we just won’t kick them out. If we have no more gardeners, fruit pickers and welfare recipients, the country will just collapse. After all, politicians have a lot of pools to clean.
SEX
4. Most important on of all, we need to protect the gays. If we DONT protect the gays, then who will the women turn to when those mean, nasty, and chauvinistic men divorce them? There are so many starving children in the world, and if we have more gays adopting, we can truly have a diversified America. The future of the world depends on it.
Doomsday
5. The tea party people are going to destroy the planet. They must die. They are old, and hopefully they will die, because they have planned to lynch the blacks. In fact, every black should start circling around the banks because that’s where the tea party people have their money. The blacks have no jobs because tea party people think the racist Constitution is something they want to save. Good thing they have a black President to point that out.
6. Sarah Palin, might run for President. If that happens, progressives will have to move for real.
Republicans:
Total FUBAR:
1. Obama
2. Obama
3. Obama
4., 5., 6, Obama.
Okay, what more can he do?
And most importantly, what can we do?
I suggest, we replace all Democrats with puppies. I’m at a loss for logical solutions.
Nobody NOTES: Okay, they are using the fear factor to bring us to our knees every day, but there is ONE fear that happened to really work. When the American people found out that Obama supported a Mosque being built right by ground zero, they got really mad. I’m not making this up. All of a sudden the thought of Texans walking down fifth avenue sent the snobs on Martha’s Vineyard into a real tizzy.
SUDDENLY, a new building appeared out of thin air… after ten long years of nothing, and it’s reported on every single day by Fox News. As if to say…”Okay! Okay! Calm down! We are building something—.jeez!
But…just don’t pray there.”
Maybe we should replace all Muslims with puppies too. The planet would thank us.
(Nobody notes: Please, before you think I hate all Muslims, it’s the religion stupid, not the people.)
MTV Space Cribs…?
Nobody Cares:
Soon, you will see the ads:
Are you a multibillionaire? Is life on earth forcing you to watch all those racist tea party people trying to stop that wonderful Federal Reserve getting you down? Do you long to get away from the floods, global warming, Sarah Palin, and SUV’S? Are those pesky nights talking to Ben Bernanke starting to all seem like a blur? Does seeing Dick Cheney on his book tour just make you want to get as far off the planet as possible? Well, we have the answer for you! No longer do you have to feel the daily pressure of being one of the only people on the planet who feels that there are JUST too many people on the earth. The answer is not in viruses, or floods— the answer is right before you. You need a vacation. For just $4 million dollars you can spiral out of this world. You might NEVER want to come down. Call us today at 1-800-Galatic
Nobody is more jealous than me. People with big bucks are going to soon get to orbit the earth. All they need is a ticket. Space is going to be the next real estate venture, because let’s face it, a very elite group of multi-billionaires have sucked what little money was left out of the planet and feel the need to go BEYOND building franchises in China. They need more space. And despite the millions of space junk floating around our planet now, the race to build space hotels is the plan of the future.
The news out today was that NASA is not so sure the Space Station is going to stay afloat if the Russians don’t get up there. (Wait, I thought they closed NASA?) I can’t wait to see Putin strapped into the rocket, with his shirt off, two blond Russian babes by his side, taking a trip to the Russian hotel in the sky. No doubt he will be strutting around in his space station, in boxer shorts…lifting weights.
They haven’t been talking about it much but, we have a NEW race to space: not to the Moon…not to Mars, but to a three-day luxury trip to a romantic little room in a Space Hotel. Places where the showers are tiny bubbles of water, and the champagne can be sipped with a straw. If you want to sit down, you can put on your Spiderman suit, and Velcro yourself to a front row seat to see Africa rising.
If I was up there, I’d make a bet to see who could spot Angelina’s Jolie’s lips first.
Russia is building a Space Hotel and so are we. So…Who is going to the first to put the billionaires up into their own little orbiting hotel room? Right now, there are many more millionaires on the planet than in then there EVER was. Several hundred of them have managed to grab even more wealth and what can you give a person who has 52 Ferrari’s sitting in their garage?
A room in space.
The Barcelona-based architects of The Galactic Suite Space Resort say it will cost 3 million euro ($4.4 million) for a three-night stay at the hotel, with this price including an eight-week training course on a tropical island.
British tycoon Richard Branson’s space tours firm, Virgin Galactic, will use his facility in New Mexico to propel tourists into suborbital space at a cost of $200,000 a ride.
The numbers are similar for Virgin Galactic with 300 people already paid or signed up for the trip but unlike Branson, Galactic Suite say they will use Russian rockets to transport their guests into space from a spaceport to be built on an island in the Caribbean.
Russia, is aiming to have their hotel ready by 2016. They will use the Space Station as a storage container, and fill it with caviar and enough Vodka to last years.
While most of us would LOVE to take the trip, it remains to be seen, which hotel will have the best deal. I’ll be waiting for the Space Station Motel Six.
So, space scientific exploration is out— hotels in space are in. McDonalds in space can’t be too far behind.
Oh, one more thing…if Obama wins the next election, you can be sure that we will never go to Mars. Why?
Adam Ismail, Mustafa Khalil , and Abdullah al-Umari, three men from Yemen, sued NASA for invading Mars. They claim that they “inherited the planet from our ancestors 3,000 years ago.” They based their argument on mythologies of the Himyaritic and Sabean civilizations that existed several thousand years B.C.
That solves it. Muslims are Martians, we should let them go home.
Someday, we will be seeing Paris Hilton on her new show “Space Hilton presents: Paris’s MTV Space Crib.” I wish I could say “I’ll be dead so I won’t care.” but…something tells me, I may not be that lucky. (Nobody Makes this stuff up, and call that number at your own risk!)
Nobody’s Perfect, No. 2: Bernice King VS Michelle Bachmann
Nobody’s Perfect
Let me say right off: The reason I posted Michelle’s big blooper on “Elvis’s birthday” (when it was actually the day he died) was because, I have wasted too much time searching for the “mistake” that Bernice King made at the MLK memorial ceremony. She said that President Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence, which was equally as amazing.
So, let’s compare: Michelle is running for the Presidency. Should she know Elvis’s birthday? Some people might say that Elvis was just as important to America as Martin Luther King. My neighbor for one. Is Elvis’s birthday going to effect her dicisions in the White House? Probably not. The only person insulted by this really idiotic mistake would be Elvis fans.
And then, we have Bernice King, who reads right through her speech at the memorial for her father and says that Abraham Lincoln signed The Declaration of Independence.
Excuse me? Did Popeye sign The Constitution? Did Jesse Jackson tour with the the Dave Clark Five? Was it the white people who sold their fellow countrymen to slavery? Did Obama say the United States has 57 states?
Oh..well,—yes he did…and he went to HARVARD.
Was Daddy King so busy marching for civil rights that he forgot to teach his kids anything? One thing King’s children DO know how to do is milk the taxpayers. The Kings have been making big money off their daddy’s name for years, and this memorial was no exception.
What bothered me the most was her comparing Lincoln “sitting down” and MLK “standing up.” (See video here) What was she saying? The blacks will rule everyone in the future. Hang in there. Someday, Martin Luther King will write the NEW Declaration of Black Independence, where diversity is mandated to mean that every black will get hired before every white, as is their American right, and I suppose that it will be said by future KINGS that Abraham Lincoln signed that too.
Nobody is bothered by this: John Adams and his son John Quincy Adams, the ONLY founders who refused to own slaves, and fought every single day for the blacks to be free against the Democrats in the Congress, still have no memorial. Without JQA, the subject of slavery would have never been discussed. Think how history would have been effected.
The Adams’ have only a mere few quotes on the side of the Smithsonian, which by the way, Bernice King should be thankful about because it was JQA who dreamed of the Smithsonian and held the money donated for the Smithsonian from Congress to be used, only for that purpose.
Imagine if JQA had been President, in modern times, Social Security would never have been touched. If not for him, the mall wouldn’t even had existed for future blacks to go visit their memorial. You can bet that if MS King doesn’t know that Lincoln did not sign the Declaration of Independence, she had no clue who John Quincy Adams was. But…she might know Elvis’s birthday…what do you think?
So,—What gal gets the most Kudo’s for making statements of ignorance harmful to the nation?
Nobody Thinks— you already know.
One last Nobody remark: Many are forgiving both these women for just being “nervous.” Michelle, I think, has apologised.— Has Bernice?
Tucker Barnes: Send That Man to Washington!
Nobody’s Opinion
Tucker Barnes, the Cesspool Reporter who got sent out to stand in the middle of Hurricane Irene, and make his immemorial moment in Weatherman History, will forever be the most exciting thing that we will remember about Irene. Mayor Bloomburg, ‘President’ Obama, even Ann Coulter’s pick for President, Chris Christie, will be long forgotten…but not this guy. The poor guy, either didn’t know it, or didn’t want to report it— All that foam splashing in his mouth and down his shoes was actually raw sewage. This of course shows you how ridiculously controlled our TV’s are. A REAL news station would have said this:
“Hurricane Irene is showing just how badly our sewer system is working. See all that stuff hitting our Tucker? That’s raw, nasty smelling, sewage folks.”
But, no…the meteorologists who we all ASSUME would have known what that stuff was, since becoming a meteorologist takes a lot of study, would have known that it was sewage. But he tells Tucker that it was “some kind of organic material.” In a politically correct world, “organic material” is just a nice name for raw sewage, and would also be another name for many current politicians for that matter. In fact, I think I’m going to start calling them all that.—“organic material.” Except Al Gore. There is nothing organic about that man at all. Al is made out of “moronic material.” And he’s spreading it around like “organic material.” You need titanium boots just to be around him.
Heaven forbid the taxpayers know how well their city officials keep tract of the “organic material.”
Here in Missouri, where we witnessed over 700 tornadoes last Spring, and also a MAJOR flood which destroyed thousands of homes on purpose…it was hard getting our pity-point check up. Most of the people who were killed in Irene, got hurt because they were OUTSIDE. A few had trees fall on them from inside. But really…damage was on property mostly. You can prepare for a hurricanes, not so a tornado.
Which reminds me…none of us have been prepared for the tornados of ‘organic and moronic materials’ that are sitting in the Capital acting like they care about us all. The whole place is foaming.
Still, Nobody Wonders how they pick and choose what disaster to make a big deal of? What bill are they sneaking through Congress that we don’t know about? Half of Texas burned down this summer, not much pity for those poor souls. To many of us out here in no man’s land, it all looked like a overblown “dry run” for something else. What…we can only imagine.
Still, Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, was full of warnings:
“I’ve got to imagine that the damage estimates are going to be in the billions of dollars, if not in the tens of billions of dollars,” Christie said in an interview with NBC’s “Meet the Press” program.
And Obama was more than concerned, something he has not been for weeks.:
“Many Americans ares till at serious risk of power outages and flooding, which could get worse in the coming days as rivers swell past their banks,” he added.
So, Texas can burn, the midwest can flood out, but the biggest disaster of the year is Hurricane Irene. Nobody Thinks the Democrats must really need the votes of the Eastern Seaboard in the next election. They might have to put Tucker Barnes on the White House lawn. The “organic material” coming out of that place makes Irene look like a harmless fluffy raincloud.
It’s Against the Law to Stay in New York, unless of course, You’re Illegal!
Nobody Reports
Yesterday Mayor Bloomberg finally addressed the severe illegal immigrant problem in New York.
“Staying behind is dangerous, staying behind is foolish, and it’s against the law, and we urge everyone in the evacuation zones not to wait until gale-force winds,” he said in a news conference from Coney Island as rain began to fall. “The time to leave is right now.”
Wait..no…he was talking about the true citizens of New York leaving because of Irene the massive hurricane that sort of did not become so massive. In other words, if you are born here, you’d better get out of new York because–as the man of integrity and sound rule of law says:
“It’s against the law to stay.”
Too bad he doesn’t apply that same logic to illegal aliens, because it really is against the law for all illegal immigrants to stay.
And it’s also too bad we will never hear Mayor Bloomberg say to the illegals, “The time to leave is right now.”
Gee Mayor…it took a hurricane to inspire those words?
In the meantime, President Obama is managing the whole FEMA operation all by himself, and taking charge of the hurricane as reported yesterday in Australia. Nobody thinks he did NOT want to let our Aussie friends down when he was heading out for Air Force One, and took command!
Bravo to our brave friends “down under” for making our President look like he’s doing something. And look carefully, he even has his own FEMA desk plate. That’s because nobody at FEMA would know who that fellow is if the sign wasn’t there.
Now…I wonder just how many people are walking up and down stairs tonight since Bloomberg said he was going to turn off all the elevators in all the buildings in New York? There MUST be a New York law that says you cannot put people in harm’s way by turning off their electricity so that they are stuck in the 99th floor and die of the heat, because otherwise, the Mayor would have left them on.
But there IS good news! At least, we are not in Tripoli,…wait…Tripoli has no electric, no water, no food…uh…isn’t Obama in charge of that too?
Okay, it’s Saturday night… New Yorker’s!! Hang in there! We are with ya!
When Obama Plays Golf, the Earth Quakes
Nobody Knows
Nobody knows what Obama was thinking today when he made this high kick on the golf course…but I have a few hints from his caddy.
1. Damn! I hit that shot so far the earth moved…did you feel it?
2. Hey, tell Fema not to worry, I just got Jeffery Immelt to build a few more factories in China. Call Joe and tell him wrestling with that sumo guy really helped out. Tell him I want him to ride some camels, and bring the horse back…Malia wants a pony.
3. How much was in Gaddafi’s bank account? $300 billion? Well boys, I say that deserves another round. Tell Hillary I want my check, pronto.
4. Michelle is eating taco’s with the kids? Hot damn. She’ll be gone for hours. I can go hit some hoops…if you catch my meaning.
5. Maxine told the tea party to go to hell? Damn. Give that woman a raise. What? The people are mad because I’m taking a vacation and playing golf? Well, you know where they can go. What? We had an earthquake? Damn…how lucky can you get?
Let’s Send Gus to Washington
Nobody Cares
This is the kind of tenacity we need. Let’s send Gus to Washington.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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