The “I Won’t Get Mail on Saturday!” Blues
Nobody Wins
We have ANOTHER FIRST in the Obama’s reign of prosperity and change! The Post Office is going to stop delivering mail to you on Saturday, and of course, to show that Americans support this new cut in service, something that is a FIRST in the History of the Post Office..they are showing people on TV who are in full support.
“Oh..that a great idea! I don’t get anything but junk mail anyway!”
Nobody mentions whether the people who were working on Saturdays will get less pay, which might not hurt them too much because the average salary for the 650,000 American postal carriers is $80,000 a year. And the Post Master General makes more money than Obama, he’s not going to suffer.
Frankly, I think this stinks. Since we became a “service” country, everyone who used to get a weekly check, was forced to get a bi-weekly check, delivered of course…online into your bank account. One day they all said, “You will get your paycheck online.” If you didn’t have a computer…you had to get one.
So, every other Friday is payday, and the supermarkets plan their big sales around the two Fridays of every week in every month.
As for myself, to save time and effort, I pay all my bills as soon as I transfer the check on Friday, and then put them in the mailbox, and if the mailman comes BEFORE I get them all paid, which sometimes happen as they never have the same hours…I HAVE to get them in on Saturday, or else, since THE POSTOFFICE IS NOW SO DARN SLOW, I will get charged a late fee. You have to allow at least 12 days to be sure that your check gets there.
Which means, I will have to do it all Thursday night, in order to get them in the mail by Friday.
(What if they come before I get up on Friday?)
Then I have to go to the Post Office….and I’ll have to buy gas to go to the Post Office which will pollute the planet.
Nobody Wins, when the Post Office hours are cut, but they all got a raise anyway, thanks to Obama, so nobody is hurt but the American Citizen.
And just to make it all seem okay:
Outgoing Defense Secretary Leon Panetta reportedly believes the military should receive a pay cut in order to respond to the budget cuts facing the Pentagon — a position that might strengthen the Republican push to reverse President Obama’s executive order raising the salary of Vice President Joe Biden and other federal officials.
Right..who here believes that President Obama’s going to reverse his executive order? Raise your hands……mmmm…..not seeing any here……
Nobody Thinks the real purpose behind this is to get everyone to pay all their bills…online. They really don’t care if the Post Office makes a profit. And while it seems so wonderful not to have to bother with writing that check, someday, you will look in your bank account and someone would have drawn out more than you wanted them too—-and you might never see that money again, because YOU have given them permission to go into your bank account and grab money.
And to think–they complained about Jesse James.
Good Day For Stallone to Die Hard At the Box Office
Nobody Wonders
If you had to choose which action film to see this year, would you see Stallone’s Bullet to the Head or Bruce Willis’s Good Day to Die Hard.? Which film is going to make more money?
After all, if there is one mega- movie star that has shot more people in sheer volume alone it’s ROCKY….who has come out and supported Obama’s new gun laws:
“I know people get (upset) and go, `They’re going to take away the assault weapon.’ Who … needs an assault weapon? Like really, unless you’re carrying out an assault. … You can’t hunt with it. … going to attack your house, a (expletive) army?”
It [2nd Amendment] has to be stopped, and someone really has to go on the line, a certain dauntless political figure, and say, ‘It’s ending, it’s over, all bets are off. It’s not 200 years ago, we don’t need this anymore, and the rest of the world doesn’t have it. Why should we?”
Sylvester Stallone on Access Hollywood, June 8, 1998
Now…either nobody has ever pointed a REAL bullet at Stallone’s head, or he is spending just a bit too much time in his mansion in Miami, where he has untold millions hanging in rare art, and the best security apparatus that money can buy, and he feels perfectly safe. Nobody also Wonders what he’s been reading lately.
Nevertheless…I don’t care HOW good his movies are, I don’t intend to ever spend another dime on any of his movies…and…something tells me millions of people feel the same way, after he said this:
Sylvester Stallone’s “Bullet to the Head” is the latest slam-bang misfire, taking in just $4.5 million over the weekend for Warner Bros. That was even worse than Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “The Last Stand,” which managed just $7.2 million in its debut earlier this month, and Jason Statham’s “Parker,” which opened to $7 million two weeks ago.
Now… “Good Day to Die Hard,” the Bruce Willis film from Fox, opens on Feb. 14, and the critics are saying that it won’t make any money. They are saying people are tired of actions films. But…Bruce Willis, having a bit more brains than Sly, said this:
“I think that you can’t start to pick apart anything out of the Bill of Rights without thinking that it’s all going to become undone,” Willis told The Associated Press in a recent interview while promoting his latest film, “A Good Day To Die Hard.” ”If you take one out or change one law, then why wouldn’t they take all your rights away from you?” “It’s a difficult thing and I really feel bad for those families,” he said. “I’m a father and it’s just a tragedy. But I don’t know how you legislate insanity. I don’t know what you do about it. I don’t even know how you begin to stop that.”
Spoken like a true patriot.
Now…If Stallone thinks that banning guns is going to keep the inner city gangs from getting them, then he has been eating too many steroid bananas down on the Obama plantation.
And in support of Bruce Willis, being an upright American—-my husband is taking me to see “Good Day to Die Hard” on Valentine’s Day.
Yes, Sly…it’s a good day for you to die-hard at the box office. Hope you’re enjoying your own self imposed hypocritical economical bullet to your own head.
But hey! Nobody appreciates your honesty..and thanks for saving me money to spend on a better man. I DO appreciate it.
___
It Started In New York….
Nobody Knows
Someday we might be telling our grandchildren…. “It started in…New York.”
And the President has given himself full power to kill any American he sees fit.
Nobody Flashes: The History of North Korea and the Democrats
Nobody Flashes
North Korea just released this video in where they dream of nuking New York. In the background is the music of Michael Jackson– “We Are the World.” Nobody asks herself —is the reason they want to nuke New York is because Steven Spielberg lives in California? Why hit the same place twice? Isn’t Micheal Bloomberg doing enough damage as it is?
And oh my goodness…’President’ Obama today…all of a sudden, seems a bit worried about the “sequester” coming up in March, which will decimate our military down to the point that even people with the video capabilities of a six-year-old can fire some missiles at us, and have a decent chance of succeeding.
You know, it’s got to be tough. Here’s a President that is trying to bring troops home from around the world, in order to put them to work as his own private HomeLand Security army, and some little dweeb over in North Korea is making him look silly.
And you might say: Come on Joyanna…how can a country that can’t even make a simple video actually launch a missile to hit New York? (And once again…why is it always New York?)
Well…once upon a time…Bill Clinton sent over his favorite plutonium giver Sandy Berger, and Sandy supplied North Korea with enough uranium to make their own bombs, which they did. Of course, Clinton said later that, “They lied, they told me they needed it for peaceful means.” 
And just recently, Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, went over to North Korea with Sandy Berger, and…you have to wonder what else was given to them? Have you noticed that Bill Clinton and Sandy Berger are the only two politicians that love to visit North Korea? Have you also noticed that every time a democrat comes back from visits to countries that don’t like us, they want to kill us even more? 
Democrats. Arming the world…with the help of Michael Jackson. In the meantime, who are all the democrats screaming about as the ones that have to be destroyed forever more?
The Tea Party.
And that’s because the Tea Party KNOWS where the real enemy lies, and it’s not in New York.
Nobody’s Pefect: Who Staged the Superbowl?
Nobody’s Perfect
This week the biggest $*%&up in Superbowl history, pretty much made the United States the laughing stock of the world. By now, everyone knows that half the stadium’s lights went out in the middle of the game, the most watched game in Superbowl’s history.
Ha, Ha…ha ha….
Nobody seems to know what caused the blackout…but anyone with common sense knows that the half-time shows keep getting bigger and more fantastic….and it seems to reason…Beyonce’s show blew more than a couple of generators.
After all, we don’t get to show off our stuff much to the world anymore. After London’s big Olympic festival, we’ve just been dying to show everyone how’s it’s done. …but….
“Beyoncé blew the electric in the Superdome twice, I’m told, during her rehearsals during the week. So they should have known that this might happen.” said Craig Carton. “I mean, it was embarrassing.”
I almost felt like Obama was directing it this year, because to start out with all the kids from Sandy Hook singing the National Anthem…come on. Really? This is a FOOTBALL game. Can’t we get away from politics for just a few minutes?
NO. Not only did we get Sandy Hook, we got Obama’s two favorite big fan supporters: Alicia Keys and Beyoncé. And even after poor Madonna went all over the world telling everyone to vote for Obama last year.
To save Obama’s face for his very best rich friend Beyoncé, the NFL spokesman came out and said there was no way it was Beyoncé’s fault. Everyone is all over the place saying “Oh…Beyonce is not at fault. oh nooooooooo.”
Okay…let’s blame it on Al Gore’s and Jeffery Immelt. You know…those two guys who took away our beloved light bulbs? 
In this new ‘efficient” energy program coming soon to your neighborhood, all lights will be turned off in every city after 10 pm…to save the planet.
What’s really embarrassing is that the whole world was watching. Here’s what Brazil had to say:
Brazil–Brazilians usually have little time for the U.S. version of football, but they can’t stop talking about this year’s Super Bowl. Subjected for years to questions about whether Brazil is prepared to effectively host the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Rio Summer Olympics, there was more than a little glee as the world’s richest country messed up its most important sporting event.
Yes, one disaster after another is happening in Obama’s Presidency. First time the United States was downgraded: First time our salaries were cut: First Time one President spent as much money as all the ones before him: First Time a President chewed gum throughout everything serious. First time we have a President who wants us all to disarm the whole country, lose weight, and not let our kids play football.First time illegals were given amnesty, First time a President can arrest anyone at anytime with no trial. First time a president arrested a man for making a video he didn’t like…(I could go on) 
And just to show you he’s a nice guy, and you can still have you be-be gun, and play touch, he has released two very fine examples of how it’s done.
So…congratulations NFL…
You won the “The NFL is too afraid to stand up to Beyoncé’s use of energy because she’s Obama’s best friend.” award.
Obviously, Obama had a say in the whole thing. If the NFL is willing to let a President change the rules of football, why bother with the ego of his favorite singer?
Next year…get it together..
Blame it on global warming
The Day We’ve Been Waiting for: Ahmadinejad in Space
Nobody Reports
Wow. This is the day we’ve all been waiting for:
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) — President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Monday that he’s ready to take the risk of being the first Iranian astronaut sent into space as part of Iran’s goal of a manned space flight.
“I’m ready to be the first Iranian to sacrifice myself for our country’s scientists,” the official IRNA news agency quoted him as saying in an address to space scientists in Tehran.
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty excited about this. I can’t think of a better place for him to be. 
Is it Captain Queeg, or is it Memorex? Take Nobody’s Test
Nobody’s Opinion
Last week, two of my readers sent me the same article to read, written by an Australian named Hal G.P. Colebatch in the American Spectator. It was called–His Queeg Moment. The author insinuated in the article that Obama was just…well, incompetent, much ike Captain Queeg in the famous book, The Caine Mutiny.
What to make of this? I feel like the teacher who is reading her students papers and wondering…”What did I do wrong here?” LOL! So, perhaps, it is time for a test. No cheating. Those who fail the test will receive a, “Queeg was just a stupid Captain– Obama is a Marxist.” bumper sticker.
So…to the test: In the honor of Art Bushwalk, let’s go—
*****************
1. The Democratic Party under Obama is the party of (a) honesty (b) a balanced budget (c) small government (d) fiscal responsibility (e) Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mao, Stalin, Marx, Lenin, and Bill Ayers.
2. Obama in his first term made mandates for (a) Universal Health Care (b) gay rights (c) women’s rights (d) Union rights (f) black rights to beat up whites without repercussions (g) rights for Muslims (h) rights for Michelle to control what everybody eats (i) rights for the Vice President to remain an idiot (j) A President’s right to take million dollar vacations every month.
3. Are Obama’s mentors and friends insane, or like Queeg, just incompetent? (a) Bill Ayers (Insane or incompetent? (b) Leon Penatta (Insane or Incompetent?) (c) Colin Powell (Insane or incompetent?) (d) Reverend Wright (insane or incompetent?) (e) Jeffery Immelt (Insane or incompetent?) (f) Hillary Clinton (Insane or incompetent?) (g) Karl Marx (Insane or incompetent? )
4. To make our country strong again we must (a) strengthen our military (b) protect our borders (c) cut waste and fraud out of all government agencies (d) get rid of all government unions (e) get tough with China (f) pass term limits (g) give Obama two more terms.
5. Obama wants America to (a) trust him (b) believe he is the savior of the world (c) make him President for life (d) build him a new Oval Office (e) give him all their guns (f) stop hurting each other playing football (g) make Beyoncé his new personal advisor.
6. Obama’s promises would cost the country (a) 2 trillion (b) ten trillion (c) 100 trillion . (d) 2,459 trillion if they give him the power to raise it himself.
7. The reason Mitt Romney lost the election was (a) he tried to kill the family dog. (b) he tried to kill a lady who had cancer (c) he beat Obama too badly in the first debate (d) he made his money all by himself. (e) Clint Eastwood made fun of a chair and was not nominated to run on the ticket as VP.
8. The Republican Party lost because (a) most people thought John McCain was running again (b) Obama had more rappers campaigning for him. (c) Obama had more foreign money coming in (d) Republican voters couldn’t figure out how to work the voting machines, and just couldn’t get to the polls so they were disenfranchised (e) Republicans don’t know how to work computers (f) they don’t own buses (g) Rahm Emanuel threatened to cut off the middle finger of Chris Christie.
9. Only one of these people were mentioned at Obama’s inaugural address: Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mahatma Gandhi, George W. Bush, Winston Churchill, Tom Edison or Barney…which one?
10. The whole middle East has fallen to Muslim Brotherhood during Obama’s last four years because of (a) Facebook (b) too many hot people, not enough air-conditioning (c) American gay military men on their borders (d) right-wing conspiracies (e) Eric Holder’s fast and furious guns were sold to al Quada without specific instructions leaving them no other alternative but to throw rocks (f) Obama’s first speech at the beginning of his Presidency promised all Muslims who came unto him, 99 virgins, and a lifetime admission to Las Vegas, and they are really trying hard to get there. 
11. In his next four years Obama plans to (a) outlaw football because he doesn’t know any better (b) dismantle all American’s nuclear capability because he thinks it only fair to Putin (c) give every minority in the country more food stamps and a decent house, car, cell phone, and a chance to ride on Air Force One because he thinks it’s only fair (d) kiss Joe Biden on the lips to show he supports gays (e) Take over Africa, and build himself a mansion in his hometown of Kenya (f) sell as much as America as he can to the highest bidder (g) demand that Islam is taught in all our schools (h) change his current course of economic ignorance which is destroying the country, and go back to Harvard to get a degree in economics while sacrificing two years of golf time to do so.
The final question on your test is to write an essay as to the differences between a Captain of a ship who got scared in a storm, to an American President who had every intention of destroying the Unites States as it is, because he was trained by Marxists to do just that.
Also, explain why New Orleans had a blackout in the middle of the Superbowl: Was it (a) The Superdome was put back together after Katrina by the lowest HUD bidder (b) The Mayor of New Orleans forgot to pay the electrical bill (c) The Ghost of Captain Qeeeg decided to make an appearance during halftime (d) Beyoncé’s show blew more fuses than China had on backup (e) Obama was at the game, and somehow when Beyonce flicked her hip, he winced, and the flies on his face were thrown off, only to land on a nearby squirrel, which jumped on an electrical line, and fried, .and caused the lights to go out.
Extra points will be given if you can explain why we need drones in American cities.
You have…ten minutes.
Professor of Nobody U.
Nobody’s Email: A Commercial Worthy of Superbowl Status
Nobody Gets Email
I have NO idea if this is a Superbowl commercial, but it should be…
Enjoy!
(Thanks to amfortas)
Nobody’s Email: Traffic Cop Gets Serious
Nobody Gets Email
Conservative videos have been having quite a bit of fun lately…I thought this one was funny. In fact, Nobody Thinks we should pass it on to Stallone.
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Email: How to Thank A Soldier
Nobody Gets Email
I just got this…It’s a great way to tell our soldiers how much we appreciate their service. I hadn’t thought of this myself, but it’s much better than running up to them and hugging them, or taking up their time talking to them, or buying them a beer. (Wait…they could use a good beer.)
Nobody Thinks this is a great sign, since I would probably be arrested for the “sign” I would give to a certain ‘President’ should I happen to see him pass. I might be arrested for even suggesting it.
If I’m not back tomorrow, you know what happened.
Pass this on!
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Nobody’s Email: The Frank Opinion of Don Cherry
Nobody Gets Email
“If hooking up one rag head terrorist prisoner’s testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel jockey will save just one Canadian life or American, then I have only three things to say: ‘Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.”
No…the Woman is NOT Included.
Nobody Cares
–If I don’t talk about politics today, do they? I just went to Walgreens, and they have enough Valentine Candy on their shelves to feed a whole village in Mali…and they WONDER why America’s fat.
I don’t know about you, but most girls are suckers for Teddy Bears ( in my case…Gorellias) for Valentine’s day. I guess it’s a hint that you like to “cuddle” and who doesn’t? If you haven’t found the perfect gift for that new girl you can’t live without, for $30,000, you can get this giant Teddy Bear and it comes with a diamond ring! And then it hops into your bed and you never get close to her again! 
But really…love is all you need to give on Valentine’s Day, right? (Wrong.) Nobody Thinks: Guys..you can forget birthdays, wedding anversaries, and even movie dates, but you’d better not forget Valentine’s Day..at least for the first ten years. You’re welcome. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Nobody Remembers: From Alexandria to Timbuktu
Nobody Remembers
The great library of Alexandria:
The most famous library of the ancient world was the one built in Alexandria, which was burned down…not just once, but many times. Something about conquerors loving to burn libraries…it’s just so exciting to keep the masses stupid. It was one of the greatest losses in the world….
The Alexandrian library flourished for several hundred years, and was the center of cultural development in the west. Scholars from every field of knowledge and every corner of the Hellenistic world came to learn, study and teach at Alexandria. Paid staff included grammarians, historians, astronomers, geographers, mathematicians, physicians, and poets. They studied and revised the works of earlier writers, beginning with Homer–the division of Homer’s works into separate books is thought to be a product of the library.
The first significant fire was around 89-88 BC. Egypt was torn by war and civil strife under Ptolemy VIII, and much of Alexandria was burned. The final fire was in 645 AD, when the Moslem caliph Omar (Caliph of Baghdad) conquered Egypt. The story is that Omar was asked what to do about the books in the library, and gave the reply: “If the books agree with the Koran, they are not necessary. If they disagree, they are not desired. Therefore, destroy them.” According to tradition, the scrolls were used as fuel to provide hot water for the soldiers’ baths for six months.
And just a few weeks ago…the library of Timbuktu was burnt down, by Muslim extremists, with pretty much the same attitude.
Evidently, there was no Koran in it.
SEVARE, Mali (AP) — Timbuktu, the fabled desert city where retreating Muslim extremists destroyed ancient manuscripts, was a center of Islamic learning hundreds of years before Columbus landed in the Americas. It is not known how many of the priceless documents were destroyed by al Qaida-linked fighters who set ablaze a state-of-the-art library built with South African funding to conserve the brittle, camel-hide bound manuscripts from the harshness of the Sahara Desert climate. The damage caused by the fleeing Islamists was limited, but irreplaceable treasures were lost. (When the French came, they ran.) The manuscripts cover subjects ranging from science, astrology and medicine to history, theology, grammar and geography. All are in Arabic script, in the Arabic language and African languages. The world may never know what it has lost.
So, Nobody Asks: What kind of people burn knowledge? How stupid is that? And THIS is the religion and people who Obama thinks are equal to Christianity and the West? How STUPID does that make him? 
Timbuktu used to be a city were people from different races and creeds live together..but in 2012 the Islamic (Tuareg nationalists rebels) came in, banned music, made the women cover themselves, and began carrying out public executions and amputations.
And Obama invites these people into the White House.
Since Obama made such a big deal about the knowledge and wisdom of the Islamic people, did he even mention this tragedy?
Nope. And he won’t either. He made the biggest deal about some guy making a video, but the Muslims burning generations of priceless knowledge–doesn’t even get a Hillary giggle.
But this Nobody will remember…How the Muslims burned the library at Timbuktu….in 2013.
And wonder how any people—- could be so stupid.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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