Obama’s God Complex
Nobody Wins
Everyone was appalled that God was left out of the democratic platform…and when they took a vote to keep him in…the NO’s won. But like a true God, Obama came forth upon the land and gave his command, and told them…no Obama was going to include it in, against the wishes of all the electorates on the floor and their vote.
Proving once again, that in Obama’s Kingdom>..Your vote don’t count. Just your devotion. But that’s why you love him…he tells you what to do.
On the floor before the altar of Obama, tomorrow night–we will be hearing this solemn prayer….
Yeah, thou we walk thou the shadow of the Valley of Death, we should fear no evil, for Obama is with thee…
Outside Charlotte, flyers are proclaiming Obama the “savior.” “For God so loved his children that he sent his only son.”…Obama. We see now, it’s a well-planned PR promotion. Who’s going to criticize GOD?
That Jesus guy, he was a false prophet.
I found this picture on Potluck. Obama in 2008, stood on the platform of a Greek God—Now he puts the stained glass behind him.
Is it any wonder he wanted the word God out? The real God is competition.
“Our father, who art in Charlotte, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come…(if you just give him four more years) thy will be done, on earth, as it is in the White House.”
“Give us this day, our daily welfare check, And forgive our trespasses and find us when we don’t subscribe to Obamacare.”
“Lead us always into temptation, and deliver us from the Evil of America, for thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever, in the name of the almighty savior..Obama…AMEN”
Now I know why they moved it indoors. The REAL god might have just decided to throw a few lighting bolts.
Guns for Breakfast…
Nobody Wonders
Just when do you think the Democrats will play this fine advertizement at their convention?
Tomorrow?
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Nobody Gets Ready for Paul Ryan
Nobody Wonders
Where in the world do you get this stuff? I used to have a flag bikini….
Anyway, I would wear the shorts, and the shoes, and the Got Mitt hat to the convention, and carry that adorable little pup on my hip…and throw red, right, and bluc popcorn, while singing “Hit the Road Jack”… BUT…
Nobody invited me!
Enjoy! Tonight, Paul Ryan should lift us all. 
Nobody Reports Elvis’s Underwear
Nobody Reports
Move over Hurricane Isaac, Republican Convention, And Prince Harry…Elvis’s underwear is about to go on block.
This just in from Luxurylaunches:
The underpants belonging to the star is expected to go under the hammer and expected to fetch $15,810. The underwear that was worn beneath one of Elvis’s famous white jumpsuits during a performance in 1977 is still unwashed and soiled with stains.
If you have longed, all your life, to caress Elvis underwear, here’s your chance, stains and all. I can only find five dollars lying around, but you go ahead. Make your day!
The Obamacare Dental Plan
Nobody Flashes:
Question: Does anyone know if Obamacare INCLUDES dental work? I haven’t heard one politician, Republican OR Democrat, talk about the great Obamacare Dental Plan, have you? Obama himself has not talked about his great Obamacare Dental Plan. After all…we all have teeth that need attention. Will dental work be “rationed” like the rest? Instead of “fixing” that tooth, they’ll just pull it? If you need a root canel, will they just put you on morphine and send you to a Hospice?
If it’s like the rest of the Obamacare package, then we can assume that Obama is right. He will be creating new jobs for dentists right on our own city streets, where cheap, affordable, dental work will be done for all those who couldn’t afford to go to the dentist because food stamps will buy you lobster, but not caps or crowns.
Hey…somebody tell me…is it on page 23,456?
(If you are eating, you might want to view this later…just saying.)
Missouri Cops: Don’t Mess With Them.
Nobody Get Email
Here in Missouri, the cops like to get their man–especially if he is lying paralysed flat on his face, down next to the highway, and can’t move.
They HAD to keep this young boy from–I guess, rolling onto the highway, (Yes, that’s what they said. Most people would have called an ambulance) or maybe getting their doughnuts out of their hands…so they did what any cop would do…they tasered him 19 times!
It seems, six or seven was not enough.
While Nobody is quite sure how a young boy of sixteen, ended up ‘falling’ from a concrete overpass…while stone sober, but needless to say: IF you are going to commit suicide in Missouri, be sure you do it somewhere where the local cops can’t come and taser you, because you’re still alive. This kid is not talking, and I don’t blame him. I’d take the secret to my grave.
Really. I’m not leaving my house.
This must be the new Obama plan for keeping our cops safe, from dangerous paralyzed comatose citizens.
Taser till you see the whites of their eyes.
(Thanks to amfortas who gets an Nobody’s Award for Keeping me informed about stuff happening in my own state.)
Rebecca ‘Michelle’ of Sunnybrook Farm
Nobody Cares
Is it me? Or does Michelle just bring out her “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” dresses when Obama is campaigning to be President? She saves her $10,000 dollar getups to embarrass the royals.
Oh, but she does look lovely!
Just to show that I don’t think she is ‘pandering to those people clinging to their guns and religion”, I”ve posted a few more pictures of Michelle taken on the campaign trail. Michelle is smart enough to know the meaning of “fit in with the crowd” and we LOVE her for it! (Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Enjoy!
The Reason Obama Hides His College Records!
Nobody Gets Email
I know, I know. It’s Sunday and there is just not much time…but…IF you like a fun video to watch, here’s one from an old “classmate” of Obama’s, who takes a very educated and plausible guess as to WHY Obama has spent over $4 million dollars to hide his college records. I think…95% chance he is right on the money.
Also–I’d say he’s a big football fan, and I would go to a football game if I could sit next to HIM! He’s really is too much fun. I would learn all I needed to know in just one game. Some people just have the gift of gab.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Floyd)
Watch Michelle’s Fingernails…
Nobody Flashes
Got $250,000 you just want to blow? Well, here’s something you might think about: 18 caret-gold black diamond nail polish. 267 carets. They made no mention of HOW you would get it off. I don’t know about you…but I’m going to be watching Michelle Obama’s fingernails next White House party. Remember…one bottle: $250,000 by O.P.I. You might as well get another bottle for your cat. 
Men…Watch the Curves
Nobody Wonders
Let’s talk about “breeding.”
Did you men know WHY you really prefer curves in women? Well…it’s because if a woman has big hips, big bust and a small waist, she is carrying more DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) which is omega 3 fat, which means she will produce smarter babies.
HA! And you thought that it was something else causing all that excitement!
Really. Get it together. Babies, according to the latest research, need lots of DHA to feed their rapidly growing brains, and only women with hips and curse have LOTs of that stuff stored up.
Getting a bust enlargement at your local plastic surgeon office DOESN’T COUNT! Don’t be fooled guys into thinking that woman is going to give you great kids…just great sex. You DO want smart kids —don’t you? Uh..uh…
Oh…and shocker…curvier women are smarter themselves! Who knew? You have to be pretty smart to play the dumb blond. I should know. Outside of this enlightening blog, where I discuss the most interesting insights on the political scene…I’m actually, the dumb blond who can’t find her car keys, and has NO clue how to do…anything that requires hard labor. I produced a VERY smart baby. Very high IQ. Genuis level in fact. My son has no clue just how much DHA I contributed to his brain, and some day…I’ll be sure to drop the dumb blond act and tell him.
It’s true…look it up in his books.
Now…I’m not sure I believe this: BUT if you go by this ‘discovery’ that the higher the Omega 3 fat content in a woman’s body, the smarter her children, then Japan would be leading the world in just about everything because Japanese women have more DHA than American women.
But, it’s not just all those curves: Men may not know it, but they are really attracted to small waists. (Wait…I know…I know..you thought I was going to say feet.) 
If a woman has a small waist, she is less likely to have been pregnant before. If the woman has a bigger waist– their babies grow TOO big. Not good.
American women, due to the fact that the cows are eating corn and not grass, are pretty low on this DHA stuff. The omega 3 vitamins are being processed out of our diet, and since the fashion industry is run by “gay” designers who prefer women to look like young boys–the young girls want to be so thin, they starve themselves out of the necessary DHA they are going to need to make smart babies.Okay…so there’s another reason for all those thin models. Curvier women are more exspensive to ‘dress’…all those ‘darts’. 
Remember ladies…tiny waists to men, might be just as exciting as that expensive boob job you’ve been thinking about.
Do a lot of yoga bends,…he’ll never know WHY in the world he is crazy about you, but he will be glad once you give him the next Olympian or Nobel Prize winner.
(Nobody Would Make This Stuff up)
The Milky Way is STILL Cruising…
Nobody Notes
Australia has some really strange sounding places…like the Purnululu National Park, where you can find the Bungle Bungees, which look like giant bee-hives or little alien ships ready to attack Gaia! Somebody call Al Gore…quick!
That’s where this picture of the Milky Way was taken, by an Australian photographer named Mike Salway.
Pretty cool!
The Lastest Way to Honor Him: The Obama Urn
Nobody Knows
‘President’ Obama has gone to many lengths to put his mark on the minds of his followers and history… and now, all of his many fans can do the ultimate honor to him…and they don’t even have to ask him!
For a mere $2,600 YOU TOO, can have an Obama urn! You have to die first, but that’s just a minor detail. After all…many of his fans WOULD die for him!
The concept of a personalized cremation urn is probably not new to us, but an urn modeled from a mere photo definitely a novelty. Apparently, a company called Personal Cremation has created the concept of Urns for Ashes, a personalized cremation urn made to resemble the favorite hero or celebrity admired by the deceased.
If you are not a fan of Obama, you could pick any hero you like, like…Joe Biden. OR…you just give them a picture of yourself, and they will make a memorable urn that your family can stare at forever on their mantle. If they are mad because you didn’t leave them any money, they will have a durable image of you to shout obscenities at…or throw old gum wrappers at, at half-time.
Nobody Thinks that when Obamacare kicks in, LOTS of folks will be dying….so these Obama urns will be in EVERYONE’s home come 2015.
BUT, Don’t Wait! Get yours NOW…while you can still afford it. 
We’ve come a loooooooooong way from the old Egyptian urn…in fact you could say, we’ve come full circle. The Pharaoh himself, has just updated the old ancestral tradition.
The Next Olympic Sport: SEX
Nobody Remembers
The Olympics, we have found out, is not only a competition for sports, it also a big gigantic international orgy..
Who knew?
I’m still remembering Rocky Balboa saying he was “saving his strength.”
Okay, is that a myth? Do you get better results in your sport if you have more sex? Does the balance beam seem a bit less…intimidating after you’ve had sex with the Australian swim team? 
Enquiring minds want to know:
In a sign of what the world’s fittest sportsmen and women get up to in the Olympic village, a record 150,000 free condoms – 15 for each competitor – have been made available to them. Women’s football goalkeeper Hope Solo told the Daily Mirror: ‘There’s a lot of sex going on at the Olympics. I’ve seen people having sex out in the open, getting down and dirty on grass between buildings.'”
Okay…so…the LAST thing the officials of the world want is a bunch of international babies or sport agents finding out their main ticket to paradise went and got pregnant at the Olympics, and cannot pose for that awesome bikini picture on the cover of Wheaties. 
While everyone can imagine the hormone drives going on with the top athletes of the world, and all those magnificent bodies floating around…this Nobody Remembers..
—That once upon a time, if you needed a condom..you paid for your own.! In fact, you kept your sex life a secret.
What? What kind of message does this send to the millions of teenagers in the world looking to compete in sports? If you get to the top of your sport then you will one day end up in the biggest orgy in the world? GO FOR IT!
Nobody also wants to know…Who exactly is paying for these condoms? Is Durex donating them in order to get a bit of “free’ advertizing? Or do the taxpayers of London pay for them? Or are they included with the price of your ticket?
This has thrown a whole new monkey wrench into my Olympic viewing. I’m going to be matching up the Japanese male gymnasts with the American women swimmers and volleyball team, and picturing all kinds of Olympic sex stunts.
Will they be able to put on that condom flipping from the high bar into the pool?
Will the pole vaulter be able to put that condom on, BEFORE he lands on the discus thrower?
And last but certainly not least: WILL there an Olympic competition to see who can use the most condoms in a day? Will the American win that? I’ll bet on it.
Will SEX someday be a REAL Olympic sport?
Somebody stop me….
Nobody Profiles a T-REX
Nobody Flashes
As a rule, one is not supposed to post pictures of oneself on the internet which might not be exactly…flattering.
Nobody doesn’t care. This picture was taken after a five-hour drive, and two other museums. By the time I reached “Susie” the T-REX, in the Field Museum of Chicago, NOT having my picture taken next to this wonderful set of teeth was unthinkable. And brushing my hair was the last thing on my mind.
I do see…a resemblance. In fact, I think it would make a good logo for my obvious proclivity and nasty habit of devouring lying politicians. Picture Obama’s face right in front of us..
Yes, my “vacation” in Chicago taught me, that ALL the museums are teaching our young minds, with great gusto that global warming is destroying the planet, submarines look a LOT bigger out of water, dead snakes are about as interesting as live snakes, dolphins love to play with humans, fish are remarkable show-offs, and nobody watches gaggles of running, screaming school kids…ever.
The Chicago mob makes their money off the parking lots, women still suffer tremendously when they walk long distances on dates in high hells, you can stuff an awful lot of money-making stuff on a pier…and rush hour traffic is the same everywhere.
The best looking people I have ever seen..were jogging..right along the rush hour traffic on Lake Shore Drive, no doubt, thinking that someone rich would discover them and put them in their next movie. AND..the most important reason to subscribe to Sirius Radio is that it WILL keep you awake for 24 hours. As long as you can still push the buttons..you can drive…forever. AC/DC is almost as good as a double-latte when it comes to keeping you awake.
And I had a WONDERFUL conversation…with a puffer fish. I think…he will miss me. I’m sure of it.
Thanks Chicago! TRY …to stay classy.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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