The Ritz in Tunisia is Waiting for YOU!
Nobody Cares
Today ‘President’ Obama finally came out and expressed the fact that America will NOT go into isolation, just because millions of Muslims all over the planet are shouting “Death to America”. No..at the funeral of the four American citizens that used to work for him, Obama was brave…because he knew in his heart…he didn’t make that hated video. Still the American people are not so sure…about all that hatred for us being shown across the planet.
Jay Carney, Obama spokesperson, had this to say to assure the American people that it’s not us, or Obama they hate, but that horrible video.
CARNEY: We also need to understand that this is a fairly volatile situation and it is in response not to United States policy, and not to, obviously, the administration, or the American people, but it is in response to a video, a film that we have judged to be reprehensible and disgusting. That in no way justifies any violent reaction to it, but this is not a case of protests directed at the United States writ large or at U.S. policy, this is in response to a video that is offensive to Muslims.
Well THIS video shows men destroying the US embassy in Tunisia, and I’m so glad to know that they didn’t burn that embassy down due to the fact that they think Americans are rich, fat, lazy, and immoral pigs, dogs, and infidels of the great Allah. Now we know, they won’t hurt that beautiful new Ritz Carlton that’s going up just a few miles from those riots today… because I’m sure the ever-popular American President Obama and his Mochelle will want to vacation there, when they go over to visit his home town. In fact, I’m sure they are expecting the Obama’s as soon as he is reelected…it will make a wonderful first vacation for the whole Obama family! 
- Tunisia is the smallest country in North Africa but that has not stopped Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company to open its first hotel there. The Ritz-Carlton Tunis, Carthage is located in Carthage-SidiBou Said, a suburb of Tunisia’s capital city Tunis and is set to open it doors in last quarter of 2014. The hotel with 129-suites will also spread out to accommodate seven food and beverage outlets, an expansive ballroom and destination spa. It is situated on the Mediterranean Sea, offering an exclusive beachfront setting next to the Presidential Palace. Carthage’s ancient ruins and heritage sites are also closely located.
- So Pack your bags! Tunisia is waiting for YOU! And uh..try to book it when Obama is there…just in case, someone makes another video.
Michael Moore: A THREAT to our National Security
Nobody Flashes
Michelle Obama is on the front lines of protecting Americans from the mobs all over the world shouting “Death to America! Death to America”! She has announced that the greatest threat to American National Security is—
Michael Moore.
If you see this man, be sure to call your local FBI, the NSA, the ACLU, the army, the Marines, the Coast Guard, and the Navy Seals. If that fails, for five dollars you can send a direct email to the President who will make the proper response, and say that although Michael IS fat..(Michelle admitting today that fat people are a threat to us all.) —-Michael is not our enemy.
Don’t you listen to him.
(Nobody Makes this Stuff up)
Our Debt: Explained to Nobody
Nobody Wins
My good friend Pattie emailed this to me today…Pattie does my taxes so I KNOW she understand this…but this man explains our dire debt situation in language that even I can understand…
If you watch this you might say…either —
1) Joyanna…did you HAVE to show me that? or
2) Joyanna…thanks!
Whatever the case…it’s good to know why everyone is telling you to forget gold, and stock up on ammo.
I’m considering putting a moat around the house…
A NEW Lethal Weapon: The Christain Cross
Nobody’s Opinion
It must be hard to be a Christian Cross. Just a simple thing mind you…a simple symbol from history—One which reminds us all that if you $%& with the Roman Empire you WILL get yours. And so, Christians all over the world take comfort in putting simple crosses around their necks, to remind them…that not only did one guy get really screwed to a cross, he did it for them.
But now..you wear one at your own peril.
Drug lord and rappers, who no doubt figure they will be forgiven if they happen to kill a few people in the line of work, wear the cross.
Nobody complains.
BUT…some poor gal in England was FIRED because she wouldn’t take off that offensive cross around her neck.
Two Christian British women have taken their case over religious liberty to the highest level, now set to square off against the Government of the United Kingdom at the European Court of Human Rights over their right to wear a cross or crucifix at work . In opposition to the women, the government will have to state publicly whether it backs the right of Christians to wear the symbol at work. The Telegraph reports that government ministers will argue that because displaying the cross is not a “requirement” of the Christian faith, employers can ban the wearing of the cross and fire workers who insist on doing so:
The descendants of the Romans are at it again. First they came for the Jews, then they came for the Christians, then they came for me…
On the other hand, does a boss have a right to tell his employees what and what not to wear?
Not according to RNow Boudlal.
Boudlal a Moroccan immigrant who is now a US citizen, last week started proceedings against the entertainment empire with the US Equal Opportunity Commission. She claims she was sent home from work seven times without pay after she turned up at the Magic Kingdom wearing her scarf – and says this amounts to religious discrimination.
RNow Boudlal says Disney’s suggested alternative to her hijab – a preposterous-looking combination of bonnet and trilby hat (above, right) – is offensive. “The hat makes a joke of my religion and draws even more attention to me,” she said.
I’d hate to see what happens when Goofy takes them to court.
ONCE upon a time, a “boss” could fire anyone in his business if they didn’t dress the way he wanted them too…But now, you can’t offend anyone, especially the new Muslim immigrant.
British Airways brought in a dress code designed to allow hijabs and turbans but not crosses. It did so by decreeing that religious items might be worn by employees if there was a ‘mandatory scriptural requirement’. An employer should have the right to impose whatever dress code he wants. Ideally, he will be reasonable in exercising this right: commercial self interest and human decency both argue for a uniform that can accommodate religious insignia.
Nobody Thinks that a simple cross necklace is not anything to fire someone over. After all..I’ve been offended by people with tattoo’s of Satan on their forearms, but realize they have to eat too. I figure if Satan wants them, he can have them. I just want my Happy Meal.
And as much as Boudlal wants to show her faith to the tourists at Disneyworld, I’m sorry…Disney has worked very hard on that brand, and if everyone else has to dress accordingly, she should just go work in the kitchen like they offered.
Both religions offend each other, but it seems to me that the Western tradition should stick up for the Christians. You can’t hide a bomb in a cross necklace.
Will the Romans of the European Court decide against the poor British women who is now going broke?
Nobody Knows…But it’s totally acceptable for the Muslims to wear hijabs and publicly pray three times a day during work .
Maybe Christians should start demanding equal prayer time. We have a lot of politicians that need redemption. And on that note…excuse me…I’m going to find that pretty blue cross necklace that I got for my birthday.
Can’t Afford an Aston Martin? Now you can…
Nobody Cares
Time for something really silly. There is a German who has put his recently crushed his Rapide Aston Martin, and it can be YOURS…for only $12, 620. You KNOW somebody is going to buy that…
Nobody also wants to note, that somebody is going to buy Ivanka Trump’s new deal, where she will give you this extremely ugly purse, and throw in a wallet to match, IF you stay in her Trump SoHo Hotel in New York City.
You know how I feel about ugly purses. I am on a mission to expose them all.
Ivanka will also give you a “personal” note to go with that ugly purse.
Nobody Thinks: This is good news. The meek SHALL inherit the earth if the rich keep trying to make money off of really ugly stuff. Have good heart all you liberals…Our time will come. Jesus was right.
Obama’s God Complex
Nobody Wins
Everyone was appalled that God was left out of the democratic platform…and when they took a vote to keep him in…the NO’s won. But like a true God, Obama came forth upon the land and gave his command, and told them…no Obama was going to include it in, against the wishes of all the electorates on the floor and their vote.
Proving once again, that in Obama’s Kingdom>..Your vote don’t count. Just your devotion. But that’s why you love him…he tells you what to do.
On the floor before the altar of Obama, tomorrow night–we will be hearing this solemn prayer….
Yeah, thou we walk thou the shadow of the Valley of Death, we should fear no evil, for Obama is with thee…
Outside Charlotte, flyers are proclaiming Obama the “savior.” “For God so loved his children that he sent his only son.”…Obama. We see now, it’s a well-planned PR promotion. Who’s going to criticize GOD?
That Jesus guy, he was a false prophet.
I found this picture on Potluck. Obama in 2008, stood on the platform of a Greek God—Now he puts the stained glass behind him.
Is it any wonder he wanted the word God out? The real God is competition.
“Our father, who art in Charlotte, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come…(if you just give him four more years) thy will be done, on earth, as it is in the White House.”
“Give us this day, our daily welfare check, And forgive our trespasses and find us when we don’t subscribe to Obamacare.”
“Lead us always into temptation, and deliver us from the Evil of America, for thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever, in the name of the almighty savior..Obama…AMEN”
Now I know why they moved it indoors. The REAL god might have just decided to throw a few lighting bolts.
Guns for Breakfast…
Nobody Wonders
Just when do you think the Democrats will play this fine advertizement at their convention?
Tomorrow?
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
The CURRENT Condition of Soros Propaganda–or Cleaning out the Fridge
Nobody’s Opinion
“I propose issuing Special Drawing Rights that the rich countries would pledge for the purpose of providing international assistance. ” George Soros
IF Obama loses the election, you will hear one of two thing: It was either because Mitt had more money, or it’s because tea party people are racist. That’s what they will blame it on. That will give the Obama supporters an excuse to not only riot, but go knock out more than a few grocery checkers.
Nobody suggests we hide the Mountain Dew now.
When McCain lost the election, everybody knew why he lost, and most people blamed it on the Republican party for running him in the first place. He was the most liberal candidate they could have run against Obama. What the HELL were they thinking? The only point in which he was conservative, was his almost consistent jingoes on whatever war we are in.
And then we got the McCain-Feingold act, which lead to the reason— I had such a bad day yesterday.
Let me explain: Yesterday, was “clean the fridge day.”
I turned on the TV as background to my “cleaning my fridge” chore, and by random, I found a NEW Direct TV station called “Current.”
Dummy me…I thought CM meant…Country Music. (Nobody’s Perfect.) I listened as I threw out last week’s leftovers.
The first program was a sweet, soppy piece on Obama. Obama was a BRILLIANT professor of law, adored by his students they said. They showed pictures of him talking in some library when he was a ‘professor’ and so now, dear voter, you should have known what a brilliant man he was…and still is. We didn’t think we had to tell you…you just should have known!
Right after that coronation crap, came a program called, “The Mormon Candidate.” According to this, Mitt Romney, horrors of all horrors, wears special underwear and belongs to the most insidious cult ever invented by man: The Mormons. Mitt’s grandfather was a polygamist. They swear an oath to “slit throats” and I quote here: “This man who may end up in the White House!”
My milk might not survive. My cucumbers were swiveling at the very thought.
The contrast between both segments could not have been written with more bias as to which man was being promoted as a great leader. Never mind the hypocrisy of the subject of polygamy…something that is entrenched in the Muslim religion and which Obama has never said a word against. At least the Mormons don’t stone their wives, or cut off their hands, or beat and kill them. And if Mitt’s habit of wearing Mormon underwear is his biggest crime—-I think we might be safe.
This Obama hypocrisy overwhelmed me as I threw out my cherry tomatoes…which…Have you noticed, only last about a day before they rot?
The next program was about the poor souls in Liberia. The rich, nasty oil companies have come in and literally killed millions— contaminated their water, and all they have left is to fight back and become terrorists against the greedy oil companies. They kidnap, and kill…and force those rich bastards to put up barbed wire around their golf courses…but they give their kids the oil to drink to cure the measles.
(Let’s send them the Mountain Dew. )
It was at that moment, that I found some terrorists of my own in my produce drawer. Rotten green onions had melted into some kind of horrible gook, which infected the lettuce, and that’s what happens when you don’t give the green onions enough money.
They start killing everything off.
After Liberia came the next program…legalizing Marijuana. It opened with 150,000 people attending a Marijuana festival in Seattle. Oh heavenly day! White people roamed free, got high, shared joints, and talked about communes and the Grateful Dead.
Okay. I have no idea what they talked about, my guess is: not much.
BUT…they interviewed an X-Banker who was rolling in dough from his newfound pot producing company.
Obama’s new jobs plan: Don’t build pipelines: Grow Grass!
But get this: Even though Colorado white people are spending their days making big bucks off of selling grass…the blacks in New York are being stopped and searched, and if they have a joint on them…they go to jail.
It’s racist plot against the poor minorities who, unlike the white people in California, can’t just enjoy their joints without being racially molested by the NYPD.
Never mind the OBVIOUS way to stop all this is to: Just do NOT carry a joint in your pocket and walk around New York with it. …idiots.
By the time the program got to the “right-wing” Nazi’s in Russia, I was ready to throw a rather freezer burned 4 pound pork roast at my ‘NOT HD TV.”
So, Joyanna…you may ask—Why do you blame McCain/Feingold for any of this?
In my usual way: I call it the Jurassic Park Chaos With a Headache Theory,….Other people call it a full moon.
The American people did not demand campaign finance reform, anymore than we demanded Obamacare. George Soros funded groups like Media Matters and MOVEon.org…to push that though Congress: Here’s the reason from Horowitz:
By pushing McCain /Feingold through Congress, Soros cut off the Democrats’ soft money supply. By forming the Shadow Party, Soros offered the Democrats an alternate source…one which he personally controlled. As a result, the Democrats are now heavily perhaps irretrievably dependent on Soros. it seems reasonable to suppose that from its inception campaign finance reform was a Soros power play to gain control of the Democratic Party.
AND…Al Gore owns Current TV. George Soros funded Al Gore’s Presidential run. The Clintons, Al Gore, and Barack Obama are all in the Shadow control now… of George Soros.
George Soros wants to legalized drugs, have a one world government controlled by a few elites (him of course) and keep Obama in Power. In his one world banking Government he wants to redistribute wealth from rich countries to poor countries, because that’s why Muslims and terrorist commit crimes:
Because…they are poor. Nobody suggests we send them some Mormon underwear. I hear it’s magic.
The good news is: My fridge looks great, no thanks to John McCain, who if he had not been such a liberal ninny…Current TV would never exist.
So much for sour grapes.
Nobody Gets Ready for Paul Ryan
Nobody Wonders
Where in the world do you get this stuff? I used to have a flag bikini….
Anyway, I would wear the shorts, and the shoes, and the Got Mitt hat to the convention, and carry that adorable little pup on my hip…and throw red, right, and bluc popcorn, while singing “Hit the Road Jack”… BUT…
Nobody invited me!
Enjoy! Tonight, Paul Ryan should lift us all. 
Nobody Reports Elvis’s Underwear
Nobody Reports
Move over Hurricane Isaac, Republican Convention, And Prince Harry…Elvis’s underwear is about to go on block.
This just in from Luxurylaunches:
The underpants belonging to the star is expected to go under the hammer and expected to fetch $15,810. The underwear that was worn beneath one of Elvis’s famous white jumpsuits during a performance in 1977 is still unwashed and soiled with stains.
If you have longed, all your life, to caress Elvis underwear, here’s your chance, stains and all. I can only find five dollars lying around, but you go ahead. Make your day!
The Obamacare Dental Plan
Nobody Flashes:
Question: Does anyone know if Obamacare INCLUDES dental work? I haven’t heard one politician, Republican OR Democrat, talk about the great Obamacare Dental Plan, have you? Obama himself has not talked about his great Obamacare Dental Plan. After all…we all have teeth that need attention. Will dental work be “rationed” like the rest? Instead of “fixing” that tooth, they’ll just pull it? If you need a root canel, will they just put you on morphine and send you to a Hospice?
If it’s like the rest of the Obamacare package, then we can assume that Obama is right. He will be creating new jobs for dentists right on our own city streets, where cheap, affordable, dental work will be done for all those who couldn’t afford to go to the dentist because food stamps will buy you lobster, but not caps or crowns.
Hey…somebody tell me…is it on page 23,456?
(If you are eating, you might want to view this later…just saying.)
Missouri Cops: Don’t Mess With Them.
Nobody Get Email
Here in Missouri, the cops like to get their man–especially if he is lying paralysed flat on his face, down next to the highway, and can’t move.
They HAD to keep this young boy from–I guess, rolling onto the highway, (Yes, that’s what they said. Most people would have called an ambulance) or maybe getting their doughnuts out of their hands…so they did what any cop would do…they tasered him 19 times!
It seems, six or seven was not enough.
While Nobody is quite sure how a young boy of sixteen, ended up ‘falling’ from a concrete overpass…while stone sober, but needless to say: IF you are going to commit suicide in Missouri, be sure you do it somewhere where the local cops can’t come and taser you, because you’re still alive. This kid is not talking, and I don’t blame him. I’d take the secret to my grave.
Really. I’m not leaving my house.
This must be the new Obama plan for keeping our cops safe, from dangerous paralyzed comatose citizens.
Taser till you see the whites of their eyes.
(Thanks to amfortas who gets an Nobody’s Award for Keeping me informed about stuff happening in my own state.)
Rebecca ‘Michelle’ of Sunnybrook Farm
Nobody Cares
Is it me? Or does Michelle just bring out her “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” dresses when Obama is campaigning to be President? She saves her $10,000 dollar getups to embarrass the royals.
Oh, but she does look lovely!
Just to show that I don’t think she is ‘pandering to those people clinging to their guns and religion”, I”ve posted a few more pictures of Michelle taken on the campaign trail. Michelle is smart enough to know the meaning of “fit in with the crowd” and we LOVE her for it! (Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Enjoy!
Nobody Laughs at Helen Gurly Brown
Nobody Flashes
I don’t want this to sound mean, but today Helen Gurly Brown died, and I’m happy to report, her dying has left me in such a happy mood. Don’t get me wrong. Sorry to her family, but the old gal lived a pretty good long life.(90) She basically was a regular…(in the words of maybe… Rush Limbaugh) “slut.” and she promoted “slutness” to the highest degree.
Nobody would call her…ambitious, and she made it the old fashioned way: She slept her way to the top! Really…that’s what she says.
Who am I to judge? She had to have really great business sense to keep a magazine going for so many years. Helen made a magazine promoting all the ways you can have sex …the sort of modern day Sutra without the pictures. A great force for the condom industry and sex industry in general. Helen gets the Olympian gold medal for sexually arousing generations of young girls for men for decades! Anyway it gave me an excuse to go The Cosmopolitan website, and once again, have good laugh.
What’s Cosmopolitan? If you have no clue…then you are not from this planet, because Cosmopolitan has been the savior of every woman who has had to stand in a long line anywhere.
Having said that: I have NEVER seen a man pick one up.
And why not, you may ask? Because it’s all about how to please your man sexually, which is a contradiction in itself, because if you’re in a relationship and having a good time, I say, don’t fix what’s not broken, but that’s me.
Evidently too many women feel stupid about it.
“My own philosophy is if you’re not having sex, you’re finished. It separates the girls from the old people,” she told an interviewer.
The Browns were childless by choice, she said. You can’t be sexual at 60 if you’re fat,” she observed on her 60th birthday. She also championed cosmetic surgery, speaking easily of her own nose job, facelifts and silicone injections.
And she looked like the plastic surgery…stuck! 
Because she died today, I went to Cosmopolitan site, and at the top was the headline:
HOW TO FIND YOUR G-SPOT!
I won’t go into it here, but basically she tells the girls it feels like a walnut. Nobody wants to know…By whose standards? I can’t stop laughing about this, so I’ll go onto her more mundane subject of:
GIRLS HABITS GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND:
1. Thank you cards to your girlfriends….Guys don’t do this. They are too busy watching football. Girls have to have something to do to pass the time and make sure that whoever gave them that Birthday gift gives them another one NEXT year, because who know if that guy will be there, after he finds out she is reading Cosmopolitan?
2. Flannel Pajamas…For all the fat that are on a woman’s body, she stills wears flannels. Guys mostly go nude. I want to know why men don’t wear flannel pajamas. I think they are pretty sexy on a man. Nobody ever asks that question.
3. Decor Pillows…I have to agree with the men on this. But women are nest builders, and the nest is the bed and the bed MUST have designer pillows. I have designer pillows, but they are in the chair. It’s a waste of time putting them on the bed, unless the Queen was coming to my house—THEN I would put them on the bed. Otherwise I really don’t care if they never go on the bed again. Someone should make scented pillows..it would help on those mornings when you roll over..and smell last night’s pizza. 
4.Cluches: Right. I’m with the guys. Cute but…pointless. You can’t fit anything but a tampon in them, which is probably the point. Carrying a tampon around all night in your hand, would be…gross.
5. Wedge Heels. Now what’s wrong with wedge heels? YOU try walking on 6 inch stilettos! The wedges give you support, and trust me, most women in America need it. Picture Michelle Obama in high heels.
Or..don’t.
6. Thongs: Guys don’t like thongs? Who knew? Okay, so why are they watching Beach Volley ball?
7. Massive Purses: If you read me you know, I have a thing about ugly purses. I’ve had the same “purse” for ten years, and it’s basically like a college backpack. BUT…a woman needs a massive purse. I will be ready when the Obama Gestapo comes to put me in detention. My purse, has…everything in it I DON’T need and that’s the way I like it. Besides, a woman’s purse is like a man’s car. Think about it.
8. Eyelash Curler: I’d like to see a man put on fake eyelashes. Mastering advanced Algebra is much easier than learning to apply just the right amount of glue to your eyelash. Try it if you don’t believe me.
ENOUGH
Now, stop reading if you don’t want to get mad at me…but look at this picture. Helen Gurly Brown says YOU will LOVE this position of sex…because
Because there’s little eye contact, your man feels free to engage in reckless role-playing, a major turn-on for you both.
Uh..so the man is turned on by NOT having any eye contact with you? He is engaged in reckless role playing?
Uh..what role is he playing? Porcupine? Is he tearing down the Berlin Wall? He is sick of looking at your face? He doesn’t want to remember you putting your eyelashes in a curler?
Okay, I won’t do this stuff often. It’s just that, Helen Curly Brown’s Cosmopolitan was a genius at getting us all to look, and in my case laugh….and entertaining me in many a boring line at the grocery store.
I don’t think the magazine helped our society at all…but neither did Hugh Hefner..who will probably be following right behind her….and Hugh NEVER made me laugh.
Which I suppose somewhere there is an article written in Cosmo that said this:
WHY HUGH HEFNER NEVER MAKES A WOMAN LAUGH.
RIP Helen.. You were one- of- a- kind.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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