Sheila Jackson Running Homeland Security? Move over Snowdon.
Nobody Flashes
Upon hearing that the black caucus thinks that Sheila Jackson would be a good replacement for Janet Napolitano for Homeland Security, I at once thought of this video. 
The “Gang of Spanky” explains pretty much how a good percentage of American people would feel…(This Nobody Included.) It would be “All for one and one for all” in trying to protect ourselves from the headmistress Sheila whose main objective would be to kill us all by sheer incompetence.
Enjoy! Or not…I’m having a hard time picturing it…add Hillary as President to that mix and you can imagine what would happen when we got Attacked—-
“What difference would it make!” will become Sheila’s great crying call…..especially if the city hit was in Florida.
Okay. I’m going to go take a nap. I am NOT handling this too well.
Nobody’s Email: Opitcal Illusion or Hoax?
Nobody Gets Email
My liberal friend, J.R, sent me this video, and he just couldn’t figure out how this worked. SO…I did a Dandapani.
I wrote him back and said, “It’s got to be a hoax.” He then wrote me back and we both found out the answer.
What do you think?
Carlos Danger, Billy Pork-Sword, Michael Flapdoodle….
Nobody Knows—
How the democratic women can keep claiming to be die-hard feminists when they keep hanging around and forgiving scumbags husbands for basically being no-class horn dogs. They want to destroy all men, but they let their husbands humiliate them again and again, and act like the simpering women when the men keep insulting them. I guess they want the world to think they are “saints” or something. Some of us just think they are stupid. Not to mention, they NEVER apologize to the other women who are being hounded by their husband perverts.
But success and power trump morality, or honesty, or any kind of decency. Hillary must have told Huma to say:
“I love him, I have forgiven him, I believe in him and as we have said from the beginning, we are moving forward.”
“Moving foward”?
To what? The White House? It wouldn’t be the first time a power couple who are married in name only occupies the White House. We all know that Hillary and Bill Clinton no longer have a marriage, but still get together for photo ops, because the brand must never be comprimised. And NO where in the news will you ever hear the real truth: that Hillary and Bill are faking it.
To conservative women everywhere, Hillary and Huma are big hypocrites, and weak women. If they were the true feminists they claim to be they would NOT put up with sexual predators for husbands.
We all know Carlos Danger will just find another name to go under, because to him, his penis is very exciting and he just can’t keep it off the internet.
But, hey, I’m here to help him out! I’ve got some great undercover names for him to use:
Billy Pork-sword.
Bobby Foreman
Carlito Mucho Arm
Mano Thirdleg
Ricky Thorn
Jimmy Valbowski
Brad Virilia
Anthony Sexile
I could go on, but my Slang dictionary is worn-out.
Nobody Knows just how ‘hard-up’ New Yorkers are for a Mayor—but the one they have certainly proves that just about any pervert can run for Mayor and win.
If New York elects Mayor Weiner, they deserve whatever they get, I’d just post a picture of his wiener on the Empire State Building, with a big sign that read: “Move forward New York! ” …or move out.
Nobody’s Perfect: George Zimmerman VS the Duchess of Cambridge
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have two people who just couldn’t seem to get it right—
First up, George Zimmerman, the most hated man in America. It seems George just could NOT keep his natural proclivity to want to do a good deed in check:
George Zimmerman, who has been in hiding since he was acquitted of murder in the death of Trayvon Martin, emerged to help rescue a family who was trapped in an overturned vehicle, police said today. Zimmerman was one of two men who came to the aid of Dana and Mark Gerstle and their two children, who were trapped inside a blue Ford Explorer SUV that had rolled over after traveling off the highway in Sanford, Fla. at approximately 5:45 p.m. Thursday, the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.
George just can’t seem to stay in his car can he?
And second: Kate Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge, gave birth to…(gasp!) A BOY! Who will someday be KING of England!
Damn the luck. Every elite feminists in the world was hoping for a girl, and just to be sure she would rule, the Queen was going to change the succession rules.
Or did she?
Whatever. The poor English countryside is DRUNK in disappointed tonight. They are drowning their sorrows in the great river of pub ales, toasting themselves silly.
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
I’m not going to be the judge of Zimmerman OR Kate. Nobody Thinks the award should go to the British people, who will get drunk on just about any occasion, and still not realize…they will have to wait a long time to get another Queen.
The Americans, send their good wishes and condolences.
Freedom To Be Fools: Geraldo & Melissa
Nobody Flashes
In America, you are free to make a complete fool of yourself. No matter what age, what sex, or what party affiliation. Freedom to make us all laugh and wonder….Geraldo thinks we want to see how sexy he is, and the MSNBC host, Melissa Harris-Perry, wants us to see how pretty tampons are without the blood! Okay. She said she is protesting Texas for not letting women get abortions whenever they feel like they just don’t want that live thing growing in their belly.
The caption under Gerald said, “Notice, he has rose colored glasses one.” So in that vein, the caption under Melissa …..should be,
“I didn’t make it to Neiman Marcus today.”
“What? Sometimes I just can’t find a bathroom.”
“My husband doesn’t understand why I get crabby. So I wear these to remind him.”
“I’ve already filed for a design patent. Martha Stewart has signed up for a matching necklace.”
“I feel pretty! Very Pretty! I’m so pretty I simply have wings!”
“You TOO, can be the next woman on the block to be the envy of every women who goes out WITHOUT one!”
“I’m a perfect fit guys, I’m ready. Call my agent at MSNBC and ask for Operation Texas. ”
What comes out of her head, is the same as what she wears on it. Fluff and cotton, filled with bloody hatred for Texas.
As for Geraldo? Somebody tell me this is photo-shopped…PLEASE! If that’s the next 70, I’m not sure I want to see the next 100.
You Know You’re In Texas When….
Nobody Gets Email
I’ve never been to Texas…I’m a Florida girl myself. But, here’s some fun pictures that I got from my liberal friend, who would NEVER go there. (Thanks to JR)
Obama Admits: He NEEDS Intelligent People: It’s a Start!
Obama: The government is us and we’re doing things right
Nobody Wonders
If Obama made Joe Biden stand purposely beside him when he made the comment, “We are going to need the brightest minds.” just to convince us, he is in dire needs of some intelligence. (Actually, both of them are out of their league.)
And then, because he KNOWS America is furious over his unbelievable grab of unconstitutional executive power, he is now telling us that HE, Obama, is actually, us. Yes, he IS the people. And so that makes it okay for him to do whatever he wants, and it’s NOT okay for anyone to be cynical about whatever he is doing, because you see, he IS the people. And because he’s not that bright, he thinks we have a democracy instead of a Republic.
And then: The great surprise: He is doing everything right. The tornado victims should be happy because they are tracking storms better. I hate to tell him, but nobody in my neighborhood even knew a tornado had touched down until after the fact.
Nobody Also Wonders how he figures that by saying the word DATA, that he is saving lives. He’s got his mind on data. All kinds of data. In fact, children all over America are starving because Michelle want them to eat Obama’s favorite food: Broccoli. Data did that, so he needs less data.
And that’s why he flies his favorite pizza guy in St. Louis to the White House to make him pizza. The guy really know how to make a good broccoli pizza.
So, all you cynical people who think that the scandals of the IRA, Fast and Furious, Obamacare, Benghazi , and the NSA, are the RIGHT things, I suggest you stop eating broccoli.
Because Obama needs the most intelligent people, and obviously, Broccoli is killing great American brain cells.
Nobody Would Like to Thank Madonna…
Nobody Cares
FINALLY~ Madonna got smart. For years now we have watched Madonna’s endless plastic surgery, changing Madonna’s face into someone who looked more like a poor copy of Hedy Lamarr than the old Madonna. She’s had eyelifts, Botox, cheek implants, nose jobs…she was on the road to being the next Michael Jackson of plastic surgery. I certainly don’t recognize that face anymore, do you?
I take that back: She is starting to look like Joan Rivers. And Joan Rivers looks BETTER. Staying 21 is getting harder and harder, so Madonna is now doing the only smart thing she has left, and that’s to cover her face. KISS did it! Look how longed they stretched out THEIR careers! And she’s got the perfect costume get-up, just get a niqab, like the Muslim women.
Madonna can only make money by being controversial since she hasn’t had a decent hit since the 1980s. So, she has pretend sex onstage, sex with a cross, sex with gays, sex with an elephant, sex…
Wait…you missed the elephant? I did too, darn! But I heard about it. She was even singing “Like a Virgin” and the elephant was really excited about that. It was his favorite song.
I hear she just adopted Justin Bieber’s Monkey, because he had a nice butt.
(Okay. Maybe not.)
Madonna was going around saying how ‘cool’ it was that we had a Black Muslim as a President, so I’m thinking she wants to be invited to the White House. She is saying this: “The Revolution of Love is on…Inshallah (God Willing.)
What revolution is she talking about? I certainly wonder if we will see Madonna in Cairo. Since they hate Obama in Cairo, and she’s his good friend, I wouldn’t advise it. Evidently nobody has told Madonna that the Black Muslim President is not exactly popular in that “revolution.” But, maybe the military will protect her in front of the stage, all she has to do is donate a few billion dollars for more tanks.
In the meantime, “God Willing” Madonna, you keep your face veil on. Nobody suggests you get the whole outfit. After all, I remember that nun outfit you wore onstage.
Killer. Go for it.
Obama’s Suggests Africans Should Give Up on Cars, Houses, and Air-Conditioning
Nobody Wonders
Yesterday, we found out why Michelle Obama can’t stay in the White House. Today, we found out why Obama hasn’t been helping the middle class, even though he says in every speech, all he cares about is the middle class.
It seems Obama thinks middle class people will destroy the earth: Here’s what he said at the University of Johannesburg-Soweto on Saturday. right before he announced his plans for a ‘sustainable’ African energy strategy.
“Ultimately, if you think about all the youth that everybody has mentioned here in Africa, if everybody is raising living standards to the point where everybody has got a car and everybody has got air conditioning, and everybody has got a big house, well, the planet will boil over — unless we find new ways of producing energy.”
Okay, is Obama a racist because he doesn’t want the youth of Africa to have nice things? Sounds to me like he is telling the African youth they should NOT strive to have a car, air-conditioning, OR a big house. Why can’t they have a middle class? Frankly, it would be the best thing that every happened to them.
Nobody Wonders when Obama is going to reveal his plans to get rid of all the suburbs and move everybody into little apartments in the cities. Does that mean that all the new American citizens that are going to get amnesty in America will be encouraged to live in tents?
If he going to build infrastructures in Africa, is his plan to get the people to keep their huts, but give them enough electric to plug-in their big screens, cell phones, and computers, but still have no running water?
Obama has always had contempt for the suburbs and the middle class that live in them, and now, he is telling everyone that houses, cars, air conditioning, will only be allowed for the rich?
Next thing you know, Obama will be against soap.
Can this guy get any more…idiotic? Does a dog howl at the moon? Does Al Gore have a private jet?
Yes, Obama doesn’t want the Africans to get any nice things. After all, too many people have them already. Sorry Africa. You lose. Take your complaints up with the NAACP.
Nobody Offers Condolances to Prisoner IN the White House
Nobody Flashes
Michelle Obama, just told the world, at a conference for women in Africa, why she is spending serious taxpayer money on monthly vacations around the world: she is just not digging hanging out at that prison called the White House:
It went like this:
Because it can sometimes be a little confining, living in the White House is sometimes like living in a “really nice prison,” First Lady Michelle Obama said Tuesday, according to remarks sent to the press. No, there are prison elements to it,” Mrs. Obama responded. “But it’s a really nice prison, so –”
“But with a chef,” former First Lady Laura Bush reminded the crowd.“You can’t complain,” Michelle Obama said. “But there is definitely elements that are confining.”
Hey, Michelle. Come to my house. We’ll trade. How many American would LOVE to be confined to the White House for eight years? A house where you never have to do your laundry, cook a meal, wash a window, mow a lawn, and eat the best cuisine in the world anytime you want.
–especially, when you then— get to go anywhere in the world and it doesn’t cost you a dime. Want to get out of the White House? How about a trip to the local mall— in Spain? Are all those hundreds of Christmas Trees in the White House getting you down? (that you did NOT have to put up) Well, take the girls to a skiing trip in Aspen! Or Europe. How about Paris? That’s right…just get out of that house Michelle, where you are SO miserable. A trip to Africa? Hey, why not?
Or, how about the Bahamas? And then there the many Hawaiian vacations…aren’t you due for another? Oh my god, we had NO idea. You poor thing.
The only time you are in the White House Michelle, is when you get to have a concert for yourself….like your upcoming birthday party.
Michelle Obama makes Marie Antoinette look like an orphan from Zimbabwe. Poor Michelle. She suffers so. Let’s send her our sincerest condolences…Or not. Spoken like the spoiled IMMATURE brat that she is. Cookie Roberts tried to come to her rescue, by saying this:
Martha Washington, our first First Lady, wrote in the first year that she was First Lady, she wrote to her niece that she felt like a ‘Chief State Prisoner,’” Roberts said.
Trying to save her face. But Martha Washington never said it in public. Martha Washington ran a farm, Michelle, on the other hand, like her husband, seems to be only able to run her mouth.
The difference between Martha and Michelle can be summed up in three words. Mrs. Washington– was a lady.
If it’s any consolation Michelle, many of us wish you weren’t even there. I personally will pray every day, that you get released from the “prison” that you so abhor.
You’re welcome.
Nobody’s Email: Mujibar is at Your Service
Nobody Gets Email
I’m not getting email lately. I’m not sure if it’s the NSA, or just that summer is here and everyone is outside. So, to start out this Saturday, how about a ‘pertinent” joke, that I’m sure we all can relate to? 
(Thanks to Pattie)
Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, You have passed all the tests, except one. It is a simple test of your English language skills. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.”
Mujibar said, “I am ready.”
The manager said, “You must make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .”
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister Manager, I am ready.”
The manager said, “Go ahead.”
Mujibar said, “The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say,
Yellow , this is Mujibar.”
Mujibar now works at a call center.
No doubt you have spoken to him.
Women Are SUFFERING Everywhere
Nobody Reports
It seems being a woman in China is more dangerous now than it ever was before the revolution. One woman was actually KILLED by a runaway shopping cart. I can relate. One time, in a local shopping parking lot, some woman tried to kill me with her car, because she wanted my boyfriend. But I outsmarted her…meaning…I ran REAL hard, and graciously gave him to her. But, this poor woman didn’t see it coming. It smashed her into a pillar and that was about it.
And it’s not just the shopping carts that are attacking Chinese women. (Maybe she was an old girlfriend of Jackie Chan) Breast implants are exploding.
A Chinese woman’s breast implant exploded after playing a game (Dragon Summon) on her iPhone while lying on her stomach for four hours.
I’m sure her Dragon Summon score was worth the pain.
But, the Chinese women, are not the only ones who are suffering. Hillary Clinton is now selling tee-shirts with her facc plastered on the front to start up her Presidential campaign for 2016. She looks like a Buddha-in-the-moon, with a serious 1984 big sister gaze.
I’d take runaway shopping carts and exploding breast plants any old day. But what I really would like to say is:
Do you think some Chinese officials would take Hillary shopping next time she goes to visit? We really are NOT ready for her.
I’m just….saying. American women could use some help.
(It’s a JOKE NSA. Get real.)
101: Beer Opening
Nobody Flashes
It’s hot. Finally. And I thought that at least ONE of my readers would enjoy a few ideas on how to put your imagination to work and open your beer bottle, while also entertaining anybody around you.
My personal favorite was the guy who cut the beer can with his teeth.
(Thanks to J.R.)
Enjoy!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
Comments
Anonymous on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) ronita on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) ronita on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) Mrs. O on MTGA (Make TRUMP Go Away) Joyanna Adams on DAD: It Only Takes a Moment or…
Joyanna Adams 