Where’s Obama’s Teleprompter?
Nobody Cares
That just a few days ago, while on the road campaigning, Obama’s favorite security blanket, his teleprompter, was…stolen. Someone stole the truck containing it, and other things, like the Presidential podium. They reported that over $200,000 worth of equipment was missing. Nobody Knows who took it, and if you have ever seen a Presidential motorcade, and the hundreds of people surrounding him and protecting his every move…sombody might think that there is more to tis story, so Nobody will care if I have a little fun:
Rahm: (Presses his earphone) Hello.
Obama: Uh…hey..you got a minute?
Rahm: Sure Bos..what’s up?
Obama: Uh…you know, things aren’t going well here..and…you know, the teleprompter that I’m using really needs to be replaced…I mean, I’d could use a new one.
Rahm: You’re kidding me..right? So just get a new one.
Obama: Uh..I know, I’m going to do that. But, I’d like to keep this one…you know, for the girls..and Michelle thinks it would be fun to have around the house in Chicago. Malia likes to pretend she’s President….they are having a ball at the parties with it.
Rahm: So…keep it.
Obama: Uh…it’s not that…easy. Ever since Hillary took all that furniture out of the White House they’ve got this new thing where every single little thing is recorded.
Rahm: So…get to the point
Obama: Uh…uh…well, I want you to get some of our guys to steal a truck. You know, make it look like…uh..uh…someone stole it.
Rahm: Sure Bos…I’ll make some calls. Consider it done. Have your guy call me. I’ll have it delivered next week. Hey, are you going to make it to my Ballet?
Obama: Make sure the press releases are all……..
Rahm: Yeah, yeah…I got that. Hey, are you going to make it to my ballet?
Obama: Uh…yeah..uh..can I bring a few extra people?
Rahm: How many?
Obama: About..why don’t you send around two hundred tickets.
Rahm: Is that all? F*&*.. What? Did Bo have puppies? You bringing Bo? Hey bos…I miss ya. Hurry home.
Obama: Uh..okay now..bye. Check your mail, and uh….uh….you’re welcome.
The Future of Fashion!
Nobody Flashes
If you think the world is gloomy now..
Wait till you start seeing high-heeled men sweating perfume walking next to moss covered protesters walking down your street!
Nobody’s Perfect: Detroit VS St. Louis
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have two mid-western cities to compete against each other for the Nobody’s Perfect award of the week: The City of Detroit VS the City of St. Louis. Or the City of Cars VS the City of Beer, which nether city manufactures anymore. (Internationally owned beer companies do NOT count.)
Let’s begin:
Detroit:
As reported on the Drudge report, Detroit can barely keep it’s city lights on. The once thriving automobile manufacturing center of the United States is so bankrupt, it not only cannot keep it lights on, it can’t fix the broken ones. By some estimates over 50 percent of the city’s lights have been broken, or pillaged for their metal. Added on to this lovely heaven of darkness given to the hard-core criminals, you have an unemployment record so egregious that if Jimmy Hoffa knew, he would come out of his cement grave to throw hit men as big as Jubba the Hut at the CEO’s fat heads. Henry Ford would crawl out of his Model T and get his friend Thomas Edison to shut down the whole city, and move everyone to Ft. Myers, Florida and start over.
Too bad we can’t resurrect them. (When are they going to get on that cloning?)
From the Detroit News:
Like many swaths of the city, the historic Indian Village neighborhood has remained largely dark at night after vandals destroyed transformers in nearly every streetlight pole that powers them. On a recent rainy day, Wicks, 64, a retired GM engineer who has lived in Detroit for decades, watched as city Public Lighting workers put new transformers at the top of the aging wooden poles. Just days later, those streetlights were out — again.
BUT…crime is down in Detroit. No longer do the locals run out on Halloween and set fire to buildings. They now have better things to do, like play video games on their giant HD TV that they got because Obama gave them all money. Detroit was once the most dangerous city in the United States, but no more…that fine badge of honor has now been passed to the city of St. Louis.
St. Louis:
Yes, St. Louis is considered the most dangerous city in the United State and I can tell you for a fact, that if you are looking for drugs and are stupid enough to go downtown at night, it won’t matter how many lights are on, you will be shot. They will even smile up at the many camera’s and wave while they’re shooting you. Our city is proud to have great lights, it’s North County St. Louis, where I now reside, that is losing its lights because that’s where all the people from the City moved to.
Are you kidding? The only thing downtown is the arch, the baseball stadium, and when the moon is right…drunks looking to get over to Illinois.(They can only see by moonlight,)
All the blacks from the city moved to North County, (and the whites moved out) and it’s here that we have a problem that hasn’t seem to hit Detroit…wild packs of dogs—who will not only will rip your throat out, you will become a bucket of KFC for the whole family. Cousins of Michael Vicks’ family must live here, because most of these dogs are BIG dogs. And therefore the kids can’t walk to school or home without carrying some kind of golf club or rocket launcher.
A young boy was attacked and nearly eaten alive by wild dogs in North St. Louis. City leaders are scrambling to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Aldermanic President Lewis Reed is sounding the alarm. “I’ve witnessed packs of dogs, 10 and 15 dogs running together, and I’ve seen all these dogs I’m talking about they don’t have collars, they don’t have tags, these are truly wild dogs.” he said.
Nobody wants to know: Well, Lewis…are you going to do anything about it? Oh, I forgot, the human society was closed due to loss of city funding. 
Nobody Knows that it’s a hard decision: Which town is more…worthy of its declining reputation? On the one hand, Detroit’s darkness leads to a safe haven for anyone who wants to steal more metal from light poles…and whatever else they can find.
On the other hand, St. Louis has monster dogs, that can attack you anytime of the day or night. Some might say you are safer inside your house with these attack dogs prowling your neighborhood, but then again..wasp spray is pretty cheap.
Nobody suggests a solution to the lights and the dogs.
Detroit just gave a jobs fair for all the ex- cons who were looking for work. In fact, prisons all over the United States are letting out their population because feeding someone three great meals a day, with cable, phone, and a master’s degree is money better spent overseas giving children time in Afghanistan schools in which to study Islam. We just sent 46 million to Uganda…come on! And that was last year!
Africa needs the money more than the people in Detroit. You know that.
Nobody Thinks someone should start a business to hire ex-cons to catch the dogs, train the dogs, and walk the dangerous neighborhoods at night to keep us all safe.
The cops can’t be everywhere.
As a bonus..Muslims HATE dogs, and who needs lights when you have a growling barking dog?
With the money you’d save…you’d have the lights back on in no time. OR..you’d have ex-cons taking over both cities with their trained dog packs. At that point the company CEO would start sending the dogs overseas and the ex-cons would be out of a job again.
Okay Joyanna…what’s plan B?
I’m working on it.
So who won the contest?
St. Louis, because the Cardinals made the World Series and the Tigers didn’t, which was a very good thing because they do NOT HAVE ANY LIGHTS. They had to lose.
(And because Nobody lives here.)
There’s always next year, Detroit…but… don’t get your hopes up.
Obama’s Pantisocracy Spelled Backwards
Nobody’s Opinion
Obama has had a busy week. There was the Obama-MLK-Mao-Black Power resurrection at the feet of Aretha Franklin on Sunday; and we’ve all been watching the “DAY OF RAGE” world riots endorsed by Obama’s many friends; You know..the Nazi-Communist, bored, old, and drugged-up hippies. and NAACP, unions, university students, and many thousands of unemployed who just don’t know what to do, so they figured they’d go and get the free food.
Hey…why not?
Obama’s show at the Martin Luther King Memorial today was for the black vote. He is losing the black vote, and he is now aggressively going back for it. And what do you do to get the blacks back? You bring out…Stevie Wonder..again. (at the MLK ceremony, where else?) No white singers allowed…real unity there, Mr. President.
It’s official— Stevie Wonder LIVES at the White House. Good God. They take him everywhere. He must sing them all to sleep. Obama has his own court jester. How cute.
And how bout’ that President sending troops over to Africa to protect the little babies? He got no complaints from Congress because everyone was watching the global riots.
Good timing there Mr. President!
You gotta love those blacks in Africa: Mutilation, slaves, rape–they just can’t seem to control themselves. And that was even BEFORE the Muslim religion gave them an excuse.
John McCain and Carl Rove even gave their approval.
Killing bin Laden was such a thrill that Obama ordered a kill on a Muslim with a drone last week, who happened to be an American citizen. What happened to Obama and Holder wanting to give terrorists a fair trial here in America? Remember all that Guantanamo stuff? And they weren’t even citizens.
Not that I care that they killed a terrorist, it’s their hypocrisy that bothers me.
In his speech today on the National Mall, Obama made it clear: he wants more redistribution from the “rich” to the “poor.” Translation: more money taken from the whites and given to the blacks and the Latino’s.
The blacks haven’t figured out yet that soon they will be paying for the Latino babies…and their babies will someday lose a job or an college education because Latino’s will get first call. They haven’t figured out that they will be outnumbered due to the fact that…
You tell me. I won’t call them stupid, just Obamazombieized.
‘President’ Obama talked of ‘one nation’…but there were not many whites there. They forgot to invite them I guess. Nobody Remembers Obama and Michelle walking to the White House on the day of his inauguration: it was a sea of solid black faces on each side.
And they call whites racists? Anyone who says that is one himself. You can bet the White House farm on it. And speaking of farm animals…
Nobody’s Perfect; Sean Penn, said that the tea party wants to lynch the “n” in the White House. He bases this on the fact that all tea party people are white and they hate black people. He does not mention that the favorite candidate so far of the tea party, is a black man named Herman Cain. Sean Penn needs to be pointing out the fact that he’s actually blacker than Obama…obviously they don’t know.
Nobody Hopes this guy is not reproducing.
Nobody Knows just what Obama’s policies are concerning Iraq and Iran. Democrats like Diana Feinstein are hollering for us to go in and attack Iran. Really? Obama ran on being the man who was going to BRING THE BOYS HOME, but he’s not any different than Bush really. Uh…he’s had three years to take care of Iran, and NOW he wants sanctions?
Do we even have the money for WWIII? Uh…no, which is exactly why they will start it.
Nobody Cares Check out those guys in that video. I had to post that. Nobody wonders if they even had an amp for the guitar OR the bass.
Frankly, I’m grateful for the little things like idiots that can’t figure out that….NO ONE CAN HEAR THEM!
And notice the guy in the back..He thinks he’s in the Grateful Dead. We’d be more grateful if he WAS…dead that is…and from the looks of him that grateful moment could come at any minute.
As for the drummer…I think they should put him on Saturday Night Live right at the moment Mayor Bloomberg says, “I’m with YA- Fuck YOU USA!”
You know what? The USA doesn’t want you guys…go play at Sean Penn’s house where…
Nobody Wins–when another President sells out American jobs overseas— which is exactly what Obama did this week with South Korea. You would have though he invented peanut butter the way he praised himself over and over. He even brought the President of South Korea over here to stand and insult us all.. in Detroit. It was humiliating. How many years have we fought and paid for their freedom?
Phyllis Schlafly tells you the real deal:
We are told KORUS will create more exports, but the principal exports will be American jobs. The Economic Policy Institute estimates that KORUS will cost us 159,000 jobs. Obama claims that KORUS will create 70,000 low-paying in sourced jobs (of Americans working for foreign employers). But even if true, which is doubtful, that’s less than half the well-paying jobs the U.S. will lose. KORUS will make it impossible for us to prevent foreigners from taking over entire U.S. industries, which they can buy with the U.S. dollars they accumulate from our balance of trade deficit. KORUS will effectively nullify U.S.laws and regulations that restrict economic monopolies.
U.S. regulation of food imports is already under attack in the World Trade Organization, and KORUS will give Korea the right to limit our ability to regulate the quality of food imports. We will lose our ability to protect ourselves from contaminated and toxic foods. foreigners simply replace their tariffs with a VAT (Value Added Tax), and KORUS does nothing to remedy or reduce this gross unfairness. Fifty thousand Americans gave their lives in the 1950s to keep South Korea free, and we’ve maintained an expensive border patrol ever since to protect against Communist North Korea, so South Korea doesn’t have to provide its own defense. We shouldn’t give South Korea American jobs, too.
But he just did. On a good note….
Nobody’s Fool: Congress did not pass Obama’s dream of high-speed trains to cover the whole continent. The drugs coming into Tampa will not get a fast ride to Orlando. Guess the Mexicans will just have to keep on driving those trucks.
Warren Buffet bought up a LOT of US Monoploy Railroads– so don’t expect this disappear.
Nobody Wonders when the globalists are going to quit? Did you know that the Carnegie Endowment fund, in 1940, had plans to merge the US with Russia? They are (G-20) now suggesting the European union has not failed …oh no. What they want is all 27 countries to give up all sovereign rights to Brussels. I thought they already did that, but what do I know?
Geithner wants us to throw in some trillions to make it happen.
Nobody Flashes: Guess what? Obama took that long-care insurance that he put into his Obamacare out, so that not only will the doctors tell you…go home and die, you won’t get any nurse by your bed to change your diapers after that stroke.
And YOU thought he loved you!
Nobody Remembers: While we wonder what is happening to the world, and how Obama can get up and give speech after speech, as if nothing has changed in the last 3 years, consider this quote from George Soros..who by the way, has his eyes on oil wells in Uganda…soon to be handed over to him by Obama.
“In short, we need a global society to support our global economy,” Soros said. “The sovereignty of states must be subordinated to international law and international institutions.”
Nobody Thinks– The elitists better watch out…they are outnumbered, and by the looks of some of the people in Italy today..they might want to take a few “rich” people to the Coliseum and throw them in with a few other elites…
It would NOT be pretty…but they could practice their pantisocracy while we all watch.
.
Nobody Gets Email: Anne Barnhardt: My hero
Nobody Gets Email
When it comes to the email basket of goodies, I think this has to be one of my favorites…This lady is one of my hero’s. Even if she was made up by someone, I don’t care. It’s a letter I wish I’d written..
Enjoy! (Thanks to Tom Beebe) 
*****
The marines call girls such as this…”marrying material,” and, for her birthday…any weapon of her choosing!
This woman is a blogger and has been somewhat outspoken to say the least. Apparently a Jihadist in England noticed and sent her a threat to which she responded.
Ann Barnhardt is described as “a livestock and grain commodity broker and marketing consultant, American patriot, traditional Catholic, and unwitting counter-revolutionary blogger. She has taken on Islam and they have noticed.
DEATH THREAT: To annbarnhardt
I’m going to kill you when I find you. Don’t think I won’t, I know where you and your parents live and I’ll need is one phone-call to kill ya’ll.
———–———————————–
ANN’S RESPONSE:
Re: Watch your back.
Hello mufcadnan123!
You don’t need to “find” me. My address is 9175 Kornbrust Circle, Lone Tree, CO 80124.
Luckily for you, there are daily DIRECT FLIGHTS from Heathrow to Denver . Here’s what you will need to do. After arriving at Denver and passing through customs, you will need to catch the shuttle to the rental car facility. Once in your rental car, take Pena Boulevard to I-225 south. Proceed on I-225 south to I-25 south. Proceed south on I-25 to Lincoln Avenue which is exit 193. Turn right (west) onto Lincoln . Proceed west to the fourth light, and turn left (south) onto Ridgegate Boulevard . Proceed south, through the roundabout to Kornbrust Drive . Turn left onto Kornbrust Drive and then take an immediate right onto Kornbrust Circle. I’m at 9175.
Just do me one favor. PLEASE wear body armor. I have some new ammunition that I want to try out, and frankly, close-quarter body shots without armor would feel almost unsporting from my perspective. That and the fact that I’m probably carrying a good 50 I.Q. points on you makes it morally incumbent upon me to spot you a tactical advantage.
However, being that you are a miserable, trembling coward, I realize that you probably are incapable of actually following up on any of your threats without losing control of your bowels and crapping your pants while simultaneously sobbing yourself into hyperventilation. So, how about this: why don’t you contact the main mosque here in Denver and see if some of the local musloids here in town would be willing to carry out your attack for you?
After all, this is what your “perfect man” mohamed did (pig excrement be upon him). You see, mohamed, being a miserable coward and a con artist, would send other men into battle to fight on his behalf. Mohamed would stay at the BACK of the pack and let the stupid, ignorant suckers like you that he had conned into his political cult do the actual fighting and dying. Mohamed would then fornicate with the dead men’s wives and children. You should follow mohamed’s example! Here is the contact info for the main mosque here in Denver :
Masjid Abu Bakr
Imam Karim Abu Zaid
2071 South Parker Road
Denver, CO 80231
Phone: 303-696-9800
Email: denvermosque@yahoo.com
I’m sure they would be delighted to hear from you. Frankly, I’m terribly disappointed that not a SINGLE musloid here in the United States has made ANY attempt to rape and behead me. But maybe I haven’t made myself clear enough, so let me do that right now
Cantagion: Idiot’s Guide to a Pandemic
Nobody Cares
Not since the bird flu pandemic (did you get it?) have we needed another movie to remind us all, that at any moment, the earth’s population could be cut in half with a virus. It could spread so fast, that within months, body bags would run out, and the best thing to do would be to stay in your house, and pray someone with a gun doesn’t break in and kill you for your food.
Or eat you for food.
My husband and I needed a reprieve from the fact that we didn’t have money to go on a vacation, and we thought, “Surely we can go to a flick.” since the Bahamas was out of the question.
Everyone else must have been in the Bahamas because we were the only ones there. And that’s in the WHOLE movie theater which has 18 huge cinemas and an IMAX.
(Nobody is making this up… not this time.)
I suggested we go see Contagion, because we both like Matt Daman. Nobody has a theory that movie stars come onto the scene in very popular conservatives movies, grab the loyalty of the diehard intelligent people they need to change, and then..turn into liberal idiots. Then we are all totally surprised that they have cauliflower for brains.
Matt Damon stared in the Borne Identity movies, which are all great. He then came out just recently and started talking about unions and how much we need them. (I’d better stop right now, because in my head I can think of dozens of entertainers who have always promoted the old conservative themes, and then came out flaming red, and insulting the very people who go to see their films.)
Dozens.
“Red is the color that my baby wore, and once more it’s true…yes it is.” Sorry, I had a Beatle moment.
So, back to the movie. Matt Damon plays the main character whose wife catches a deadly virus when she was in Hong Kong, and then infects a lot of people at a casino and the whole world becomes infected. People can’t get the vaccines except by lottery, in other words, it shows you what would happen if there really was an outbreak. Marshall Law is moved in right away. And get this: the real scientists of the world claim this movie is right on track.
As far as movies goes, this one was just okay. My husband was severely disappointed because he was expecting Zombies.(BIG Zombie lover) I wanted to see it because I suspected it was going to be another “lesson.”
Nobody Thinks I was right.
It was more like a…you know, this might happen, and the government and Homeland Security will take years to get out the vaccines, but in the end it will be done, because they are all good people. Elites will get it first. People, will die. But, that’s life folks.
Okay—Nobody prefers the government conspiracy movies, but there were no government conspiracies in this movie. At the end, all the suspicions that this virus was some kind of germ warfare was put to rest when the camera zooms in on a bat, and a pig…the real culprits. Honest…last scene. That’s your lesson.
The scene that upset me the most is when a government guy (Played by Lawrence) decided that maybe putting the vaccine in the water would be a good idea, because they did put fluoride in it for our benefit. I’ve read too much about the harmful side effects of fluoride to go there.
I know, you may say that at this point in my life that Nobody is getting too suspicious. Nobody reasons that the more you know, the more you see, and the less you can enjoy it. This happened to me long ago when I took Art Appreciation in college. I got an A, and then every time I looked at a painting afterwards, I would dissect it…I could tell you who did it, what period it was from, HOW they painted it..etc.. Then one day, I realized…I simply did not enjoy the beauty of art any longer. I couldn’t look at a simple sunset without going into all the details in my mind.
It was…annoying.
So, I forgot everything I knew about it,—on purpose. It took me years to forget it, I had to unlearn what I had learned. Nobody Thinks I’m becoming so good at spotting all the propaganda in everything now, that I find it hard to enjoy movies anymore. I know millions of others probably feel the same way.
But this time, I will be saved from myself by mother nature. Someday, I won’t remember where I put the car keys OR the car. I won’t remember ever seeing this movie, because the govenment after reading this, will make sure I get an extra dose of floride in my water.
Despite the movie, we had a great box of buttered popcorn, a theater all to ourselves, and then came home and ducked taped the windows. (just kidding)
Really, if you can just enjoy a movie without thinking…it’s really…okay.
Good thing money is tight right now: According to this movie, it very well could have been me that walked into a casino in the Bahamas and then I would have ended up being the one to kill the world with a virus from a banana, dropped by a monkey who had had sex with a pig, into my margarita.
I’m just saying….
Having Sex With Animals…A Civil Right?
Nobody Reports—
Laugh for the day.
Listen to this guy…he gets these people wbo are protesting, to say one of their rights as human beings is to be able to have sex with animals if they want. By the looks of HIM, I’d say he’d already tried it. I bet he has a barn full of sweetie pies for his own pleasure at his house.
Uh…have they consulted the animals on this? How about PETA? Does PETA think this is a good idea? Wouldn’t a man having sex with a dog or pig be considererd cruel and unusual torture? Will we be seeing animal strip clubs? Will the protitutes start serving a “two for one” me and my sheep?” for the low price of $200?
What animals are included in this? Elephants? Giraffes? Priaire Dogs? Is Hollywood suffering so badly that we will soon be seeing, “Debbie Does The Lion King?” porn in HD? All ready for that new IPhone, download now…The Wild Horses of Texas.
Next thing you know, they will want equal rights for all those who want to marry their “animal.”
And what if they want to have sex with say…a wild animal? Beaver for instance? Nobody Thinks these people are actually decendants of the first democrat who had sex with an ass, there is no other explanation for such moronic behavior.
But— you have to laugh, or you’ll cry at the fact that all these people repeated exactly what this idiot said word for word…even the “You can have sex with animails.”
Good god…I’m hiding my dog.
Nobody’s Perfect: Marriage, Divorce, Electrocution…
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have the subject of matrimony and love: couples getting married, couples getting divorced, couples getting electrocuted….
First we have Lord Paul McCartney, who just got married to a very lovely and very rich woman named Nancy Shevell. Nobody Thinks that was a smart move. The last woman he married couldn’t get enough of his money. Let’s hope this one works out for him.
You have to give the man a lot of credit…after the awful mess his last marriage caused him, to dive in at his age and try again, shows he believes in the institution. And for that, I give him a big round of applause.
Hopefully this time, they both signed pre-nups.
Paul looked years younger on his wedding day. I’m glad he is dying his hair. For a vegetarian, that must have been a hard decision, because you know, all those chemicals could melt into his brain and cause his liver to fail because he doesn’t eat meat. (Nobody made that up.)
And any woman who loves gardenias in my book, shows class. They are MY favorite flower.
They looked like the perfect couple, unlike this next couple.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Now……. I don’t mean to criticize anyone’s choice in men, (Wait…of course I do, it’s too much fun!) but when Demi divorced Bruce Willis and married Ashton Kutcher I thought she had some kind of problem—NOT because he was so much younger than her, but because he seemed like such a …what’s the words? College boy.
Demi also collects Barbie dolls and has a house just to show them all off. So you have to wonder…what did they have in common? Nobody Wonders if they will all go on their fabulous vacations after the divorce? Bruce, Ashton, Demi and her new future boyfriend.
Do we care?
No, we don’t, but Nobody Cares about the next couple from Pennsylvania: Joseph Russell and April Carter.
Why? Because THEY hold the common nobodies card of love for the future.
Police say a western Pennsylvania couple desperate for money to pay for their wedding netted just $18 for the stolen copper wire they cut from more than a dozen utility poles. North Sewickley police say 23-year-old Joseph Russell and 24-year-old April Cater cut down the wires on August 9, four days before their wedding. Russell says he was desperate for money because he’d just lost his job and lost a $1,000 deposit after his reception hall abruptly closed down.
That’s got to be love. I don’t care how much Paul and Nancy think they might love each other, I doubt if he would EVER climb a pole and steal copper wire just to marry her, and for good reason too. Another couple that were not so lucky climbed up a pole and paid for it.
A man died as he and a female partner tried to steal copper wire from an electrical vault in South Gate on Saturday afternoon, police said. The woman tried to pull him away from the vault when it caught fire and exploded, but the electricity traveled through her body and she received severe burns. Two small children were found in a truck 15 feet from the accident but were not injured.
There you go…desperate times call for desperate measures. Leave the kids in the car.
What did we learn from these three mistakes?
1. Don’t marry the first amputee that comes along after your wife dies.
2. Don’t marry the first young and sexy man who beds you right after your painful divorce.
3. If you don’t have enough money for a wedding, don’t climb up a pole and steal copper wiring…go on Oprah and beg for money.
What’s that you say? Oprah doesn’t have a show anymore? Well, just wait. She coming back because her cable show is losing money big time.
Anyway, maybe Lord Paul or Demi Moore will see you on the show, and send you the money you need.
At least you’ll be alive to enjoy it.
Rich Dad, Poor Cardinal Squirrel
Nobody Knows—
That I went to a “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” seminar with my friend Pattie, and the rich guy who wrote the book, (Robert Kiyusaki) decided that showing up for just thirty people was waste of his time. So he sent another fellow to convince the whole crowd that…JUST TODAY, we could purchase an educational three-day program that cost $998 dollars for ONLY…$199! Before the end of the hour he said we could even bring a friend for free!
That was his first mistake. Also, about half way through he was getting very noticeably madder and LOUDER, because many of us were kind of …smirking.
He went on for a whole ninety minutes trying to tell us that we could take a “hard loan” off the internet (no credit needed) and go out, find some property cheap,fix it up…and sell it! That is how rich people get rich!
Well, I’m sure.
It’s also how Fannie and Freddie got their big name. He made it sound like people are just out there WAITING in line to buy your house. Or rent your house. What he failed to mention is sometimes, when they default they have a whole YEAR before you can kick them out…espescially if they are in the well protected class of color..ful.
The REAL rich guy, who now gets rich off of selling people three-day training programs, is doing a book tour with Donald Trump.
Oh, you were not really allowed to ask questions. So, if you have ever been to one of these things, let me say this: you have NEVER been to one as absurd as this one…and so to honor the really squirrely day we had, it seems all was not lost. 
St. Louis has adopted the “squirrel” to be the Cardinal Mascot for the National League Baseball Playoffs, because some squirrel ran across the field recently and everyone fell in love with him.
And that’s what that salesman needed to pitch his big educational program. Next time I suggest: he let a few live squirrels, run around the room. Poor guy. My friend and I couldn’t figure out, why, if this guy had made so much money off of this program, why was he so obviously upset when no one was buying?
I mean, what was he doing there? He had five restaurants to run.
I mean, how squirrely to you have to be to think that one minute the program is $1,000, and the next second..$200? And then…$100.00
We decided that if we wanted to learn about real estate we go to the local community college and take a $35 dollar course.
Not that we want to, because we don’t. And that’s why that guy hated us all. Right now, I need a squirrel hug….and a World Series Ticket.
And as my husband always says: “People in hell want ice water.”
Obama Speaks to the Nation, Without Bo
Nobody Cares
Nobody watched Obama’s speech today. At least, half of it… anymore and I would have needed two cases of Red Bull. Here’s the problem.:If you are not a well read person, and you get all your news from TV…you would have thought that most of Obama’s BS, about how nothing is his fault but the other parties, actually had some truth to it. Obama doesn’t talk to us like adults, he talks down to everyone. And this Nobody wants to know who is writing this guy’s speeches. Anyway, here’s short summary.
What did Obama tell the nation in his speech today?
Obama— Now, children: I am going to protect you from those big evil banks. When there is an unfairness in any business, trust me, I will be there to save the American people from outlandish fees that the banks are putting on every single poor citizen in this country.
KID— But, my daddy says the reason he can’t buy me that new video game is because the government takes too much taxes out of his paycheck? Is the bank taking money out too?
Obama— Well no, but the bank did some things that were…not nice. LEGAL, but not very nice.
KID—My mommy said that they should have gone to jail.
Obama— Well, we can’t do anything about that, but if my new jobs bill is passed, your daddy and mommy will never have to drive over that scary bridge every morning. You like that don’t you?
KIDS—What’s wrong with the bridge?
Obama—Every single bridge in America is falling apart kids. Your daddy or mommy might fall off those bridges some day and have to go to the hospital.
KID— My daddy says that we don’t have the money to build new bridges.
Obama— Well, if we pass this new jobs bill, we will…we’ve already figured out a way to pay for it!
KIDs—Really?
Obama: Yes, your mommy and daddy will pay for it, by the fact that, with the new rules under the EPA, under my guidance, we will have to necessarily raise all the utility bills. The good news is, we won’t have to borrow from China!
KID: oh.
Obama: Any more questions?
KID: Uh…mommy says solar panels don’t work, is that true?
Obama: Well, that’s just nonsense…of course they do. In fact in my jobs plan we will give billions of dollars to new companies in order for us to compete with China who is already beyond us in this field. We don’t want that to happen, do we? Have China be better than us in new energy?
KID: But, isn’t China also beating us in the space race? I heard they were going to the moon? Are we going to the Moon?
Obama: We’ve already been there sweetheart.
KID: Daddy says you sent guns to the Mexicans.
Obama: No, I did not. But, I did kill Osama bin Laden.
KID: But, the guns might come over here and hurt us.
Obama: I don’t want you to be scared about that. We are going to deport all the illegal’s who are criminals from our country. And also, Hillary Clinton ..has signed a small arms treaty with the United Nations to protect all American from guns. We will be gathering all the dangerous guns up in the very near future…so that you won’t have to worry.
KIDs: Mr. President: Can I still eat a cupcake?
Obama: Sure you can…just don’t get fat! Uh any more questions?
KID: Are Republicans mean?
Obama: Well…in a way they are. They are keeping teachers and firemen from getting back their old jobs. And every time I try to do something they block me. And that means, they are blocking the voice of the American people because kids, we live in a democracy, and you know what that means?
KIDs: NO
Obama: it means that whoever won the election gets to rule. And I won.
Obama: Now, before I go…can anyone tell me what I am saying here? (points to picture of himself in book)
One KID jumps up and down with his hand held high…
Obama: YES?
KID: You’re saying CUPCAKES for everyone if we pass the jobs bill!
Obama: Well, yes I am.
(Obama turns to his aid and whispers: “Give that kid a gold star, and invite him to my next State of the Union. I want to use him in that infomercial…What happened to that damn dog? Didn’t I tell you to get Bo here for this thing? Well go take the plane and get him!
Starbucks: The New Fannie and Freddie On Cappachino
Nobody Knows
—that I watched the movie, the “Little Fockers” last night, and did not laugh once. But, I made up for it after I watched Mr. Christopher Christwell sing his song on YouTube about having to serve people at Starbucks.
I’m not even looking at it, and I’m still laughing.
Frankly, I think they paid this guy to do this, because Chris is not near as insulting to me, as the fact that Starbucks is asking it’s customers to ‘donate’ five dollars to put into a “loan” fund to give out to poor people who cannot get loans for houses anymore because Fannie and Freddie broke the world, and got caught.
When I first read it, I thought: Oh…how nice..the man that helped break Americans with overpriced coffee has decided to help out the people, the small business man, who cannot get a loan from any of the banks that got big bailout money. They were SUPPOSE to give it to the struggling American, but…they gave it to the big foreign banks.
Chris would say: they gave it to the rich fat lady wanting more whipped cream in her frapachino mocha.
This from Prison Plant–
The group running the scheme is funded by the very same big banks who received trillions in bailout funds that are still deliberately withholding loans from struggling Americans in order to make money
off the interest on deposits held with the Federal Reserve. What the corporate press is loath to report is the fact that the OFN, while posing as a philanthropic financial refuge for poor Americans, is little more than a Wall Street front organization. It is bankrolled by the likes of Bank of America, Goldman Sachs, HSBC, Deutsche Bank, JP Morgan Chase, Wells Fargo, and Morgan Stanley.
Starbucks also once offered free coffee to those who offered to pledge their allegiance to Obama’s creepy ‘national civilian security force’ proposal back in January 2009. And if my memory serves me well, it was Bill Clinton who lobbied (and won) high-playing wages for the coffee pickers in Columbia, who pick the coffee beans for Starbucks. Some of those guys, make more money than a Starbucks manager, and it’s also one of the reasons that Starbucks coffee is so high.
But I digress. I don’t drink coffee. The democrats are going to get the “people’s money any way they can.” Even if they have to pretend it’s for charity.
Fannie Starbucks.
Chris put into words, what every single “service” worker in the United States feels when they get home from work every single day. People can be downright rude.
And Nobody Knows it better: America is a “service” economy, and I’m glad they fired Christopher. Now he can go on to better things.
Like, maybe writing scripts for Ben Stiller.
When In Rome, Get In Your IPod
Nobody Reports that Nobody Reads!
Here are a few intersting items I found in my reading today:
In Bushworld, Maureen Dowd complained about Dick Cheney and President Bush…hiding things.
“The vice president and president are really concerned about the privacy of power. They want to do, and be accountable to no one. The theme of Bush I is now the them of Bush II: Trust us, even if we won’t let you verify. we know we’re right . We answer to no one. “
That sentence could very well have been written about Barack Obama and his administration. “We have to pass the bill so we can read it.”
Has Maureen figured out by now that the democrats rule the same way?
Has a pigmy ever won a Pultizer?
****
In What Life Was Like When Rome Ruled the World I found this:
The Roman historian Livy said Rome was a “free nation, governed by annually elected officers of state and subject not to the caprice of individual men, but to the overriding authority of law.” The Romans codified their young “republic” around 430 BC in the Twelve Tables.
Now, this was not exactly a “republic” because only the wealthy patricians could vote and be elected. The common man (plebeians) did not have a say. And when the Roman elites sent the poor plebeians to fight the war in Carthage (Africa) it got sticky.
“Plebeians burdened by debt and lenglthy military service were losing their land to patricians who profited by the labor of slaves taken in battle”
So…history shows that the patricians and the plebeians are still in the exact same place. Even in the “republic” of China.
Nobody also likes this:….a speaker system for $100, 000. and a clever IPOD that you can climb into when the next flood comes. That’s only $3,900.
Now, how to get that stereo into that IPOD….Nobody is working on it.
Sheep..or Gold? Which Is the Best Investment?
Nobody Cares
Somewhere in China, rich Muslims tycoons are making long trips to out-of-way farms to purchase one of these guys: A BIG sheep. (see picture below)for..$2.5 million dollars. Really, I don’t EVEN want to know what in the world these Muslim tycoons DO with these big sheep…but let me say, an American would say Las Vegas was cheaper.
OR..You can buy these solid gold glasses just to hang on your neck at the next office party, as a ornament. They are only worth $68,135 dollars.
I am really having a hard time deciding which one I should include in my portfolio. If I got the sheep, I wouldn’t have to mow my lawn, but then again…I might lose a husband. The eyeglasses on the other hand, would in less than a day be lost. I lose all my glasses. BUT, you can melt gold. Not much you can do with a sheep. And I’m not sure that Chinese Muslims would pay for the shipping costs, when I got tired of my goat. Or …sheep. or whatever that thing is.
I still need to think about this.
(Nobody Makes This Stuff Up)
What Do Presidents Talk About On the Golf Course?
Nobody’s Perfect:
When Bill Clinton was President, it was reported in Newsmax, that according to one of his personal secret service men, President Bill Clinton, at one time, had mislaid the ‘football.’ The nuclear football. The one he needs in case we are being attacked. He simply couldn’t remember where it was. And what was even more upsetting to the secret service man, he didn’t seem to think it was important.
Last week, a “moon” rock worth millions of dollars was found in an old box, by somebody from Bill’s Clinton’s government office. No doubt he forgot he was keeping it to give a grandchild someday.
So, Bill loses things. Here– Nobody can imagine the conversation last Saturday between Bill and Obama while they played a round of golf.
*****
Obama: Bill, …I really need that suitcase. You know I’m finally bringing home the troops, and hell Bill, you heard what Cheney said, he’s afraid one of them guys might release their nukes here.
Bill: I know..I know…I just don’t remember. I think I might have left it at the Adams, but I’m not sure. You know, I had Hillary down my neck at the time I lost it, ..and Monica might have taken it— she was always around, I don’t know. I don’t THINK she took it, ah…damn. I wish I could remember…you know, I wouldn’t put it pass some of those guys that were watching me to take it and say I lost it.
Obama: I thought they found it?
Bill: Well, no: We just said they found it. Bush never mentioned it to you, did he?
Obama: No, every time I asked him he just smiles and says, “Don’t you have it?”
Bill: Yeah, that sounds like something he’d say. (laughs)
Obama: Besides–you just lost a rock worth millions Bill. I don’t care, that’s money in the bank.
Bill: Oh, I thought I gave it to Steven Spielberg…really. I don’t know what they found in my files. Hillary told me she had shredded everything from Arkansas. So, blame her. You know Hillary.
Obama: (Gets fed up)…Whatever. I need that suitcase Bill. Really.
Bill: I know, I know…Hey, did you see where my ball went?
This makes ten so far I’ve lost. (really, 20)
Obama: You’re in the rough Bill. Again.
(Nobody makes this stuff up.)
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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