You Want to PET the Cheetah?
Nobody Gets Email
Some people would call this woman “brave.” Some people would call this woman, “out-of-her-figgn- mind.” Nobody calls her an abnormality of nature. I like to see her do this with a pack of wild dogs. Or some drug cartels, or even some elephants: or my in laws on a Saturday night. These are the kind of people who think that all animals love them, and they are “special” and no animal will ever hurt them. Like the guy who loved bears, and took his girlfriend out to watch them, and they were both “eaten.” Remember what happen to Steve Irwin? That giant stingray just WANTED to be petted by him.
Opps.
Watch this…and wonder like I did…WTF?
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Pattie)
Nobody’s Email: Lesson–Don’t Feed the Animals
Nobody Gets Email:
Playboy In Virgin Space
Nobody Wonders
___What’s next for the space program…is it dead? Will we go to the moon ever again, or MARS? Fear not..the best minds on the planet have plans….
When NASA bit the dust, the great minds and explorers who dreamed of going to MARS and beyond to explore other planets, are now finding out what Richard Branson has in mind. Yes, the Virgin himself, and Playboy have joined heads to dream up this:
A Virgin Galactic Men’s Club in Space!
Where rich men can go to get away from their wives, and surly the most beautiful women on the planet will take care of their romantic needs over the dreamy view of the earth below. A place where the leaders and CEO’s of the world can finally get along, after their many pleasurable bunny space meetings, by discussing various “austerity measures” in the restaurant. The Saudi Kings will look down upon the world and say, “Yes…really. Look at that little Israel. It’s such a puny little thing, we should let them be.”
THIS FROM LUXURY:
The Adult magazine company Playboy is vying to take pleasure and entertainment to a new level by mapping a concept for a Playboy Club in space. The “intergalactic entertainment destination” comprises of a zero-gravity dance club and Playboy bunnies with jet packs. A.J Baime and Jason Harper of Playboy Magazine have collaborated with various individuals on the project including artist Thomas Tenery, Virgin Galactic head designer Adam Wells and former NASA scientist Stan Kent to conceptualize this idea. Their intellectual unison has brought into being the concept of a wheel-shaped space station that packs in a casino, restaurant and “orbital pleasure domes”. The restaurant would be situated in the spinning section of the station where centrifugal force would create artificial gravity to prevent your meal from floating away.
Many an “obital pleasure dome” will be put to the test of gravity, not to mention Bunnies trying not to overshoot their jet packs, when fixing their bunny tails.
What’s this tell you? That in our not so distant future, a handful of men are going to have more money than GOD…and so why not spend it on the biggest brothel ever conceived by man? Funding for birth control pills of course will be supplied by the American Taxpayer. Who says testostorone levels are waning?
Nobody Cares About Davy Jones
Nobody Cares
Davy Jones of the Monkees died today. Somewhere in my basement I have a few of their albums. Really…I always felt sorry for these guys, because even though the songs they put out were always kinda …bubble gum teenage marshmallow kinds of stuff..they were at least fun and singalongable. Those guys were relentlessly attacked by just about everybody. And they remained pretty nice guys through it all.
I’m only posting this because I wanted to show everyone…see that drum set in the video? That’s a silver- sparkle Ludwig. (I know..JOYANNA…NOBODY CARES!) That was my first drum set and I still have it, and I got mine long before the Micky. Here I am in my first band playing in the BLUE BULL LOUNGE in Kansas City. I won’t tell you how long ago this was taken, but let’s just say, if you’re a musician, you can just look at the speakers and guess.
I’ve been offered a lot of money for that set. I bought mine at the very famous Frank’s Drum Shop in Chicago…and I was told that Louie Bellson used to give lessons on it when he worked at Frank’s.
Also notice that Peter Tork, the keyboard player…is not doing what he should be doing in this video..where he plays his solo and it’s just funny! Micky Dolenz is barely hitting the drums. Of course they were lip synching– but it’s just really nutty that they left it in.
I always thought as people, these guys were very polite, and nobody liked hearing the news today that Davy Jones died…Nobody really Cares…but really, at 66— he was much too young.
I might just go sneak a look at my old albums…and put a few on..and yes, I still have my old record players. ARE you kidding?
(FYI..that was a poloroid…another clue)
Sandra Fluke: On Her Way to Replace The Original Fluke Nancy Pelosi…
Nobody Wonders
Nobody Wants You to Remember the name: Sandra Fluke. Sandra is a law student of that great incubator of future politicians in Washington D.C. called Georgetown. It’s where the once unknown poor, poverty-stricken boy from Arkansas, was put on track to one day be a superstar of the Democratic party. Yes, it was at Georgetown that Bill Clinton became a page for very prominent democratic senators and where he “opened” confidential messages he was delivering on the hill to discover the secrets to report to his masters. He is now a 33rd degree Mason. This Fluke was handpicked, as sure as the last fluke was…to be an upcoming star in the future NEW WORLD of political liars, which is ten times better than the OLD WORLD group of liars thanks to universities like Georgetown.
Listen to that whiney voice. First off…she claims that contraceptives cost a student $3,000 dollars. What a bunch of crock. Even if they cost $100 dollars a month (which they don’t) more like $30 dollars at your local D.C. Planned Parenthood, I think she’d be better off blaming Georgetown University for the high cost of its overpriced faculty for her big sob story. So, go to a cheaper school Sandra. Better yet, get rid of your cellphone Sandra..or how about this: Try asking the guy to use a rubber, or else…no sex. Can’t control yourself? Just HAVE to have sex? If you can’t control your sexual adventures knowing that you might get pregnant, and condemn your liberal mind to years of heartache and torture, then no amount of Georgetown high education is going to make you any brighter. But what it can do, as we are witnessing, is make you an expert at lying.
In the video below, (Notice they did let her give her sob story to Congress) poor MS Sandra CARES about all her fellow women sufferers. Why…(let’s not forget that Mom and Dad can now put poor little Sandra on their health insurance till she’s 26) she claims all college students have no insurance. (Wait…didn’t Obama promise health care for everyone? )
One woman, who cannot ‘afford’ the pills will have countless seizures, says MS Fluke. Think about how absurd this is. All she needs to do is get bio-identical hormones from a doctor….and trust me–they will cost a lot more than birth control pills. But any doctor would prescribe her hormonal pills for her seizures or better yet…give her pills to CONTROL her seizure. Wonders never cease—they do not teach modern medical advances at Georgetown University.
This is right up the Pelosi driveway: I’m a woman and I deserve to have free everything.
And to make the video even more laughable, she claims that the “pill” has freed women to have careers. If not for the “pill” no woman could even enter the work force. Rockefeller would have to hire more men, at a higher price.
Gee…my mother never had the “pill” and she ran her own printing company with 30 employees for over 40 years. She didn’t die. She didn’t suffer. Should we tell Sandra that she is being misleading about this?
No?
Sandra’s main concern, as is the talking point of the whole democratic party, is that: Oh my…women’s HEALTH is at issue? They say it like all women are going to die of cancer. And that’s why you can no longer get screening for breast cancer. Liberals have decided that getting pregnant is now much more fatal to a woman’s health.
Is it? Or is it men’s? Condoms can be bought at any drugstore. Yeah, those feminists sure bought women into the 21st century. Now you have a RIGHT to fornicate four times a day while you’re at college, and a RIGHT to do it without bothering to ask any man to be responsible because…why should he? It’s YOUR body!
Obama wants complete control over everyone’s bodies. What’s next? Every student needs a car? Every student needs to be supplied food? Every student needs to have money for beer? Every woman needs money for tampons? Can I get a Vowel here? And did you know that there is a movement to get rid of ALL contraceptives?
Since I didn’t go to Georgetown, I’m thinking that it MUST be a fluke. Nobody Wonders how many more Flukes are coming out of Georgetown. Maybe we should make contraceptive mandatory for that school alone. We have enough flukey lawyers already, don’t you think?
It’s All in the Fingers….
Nobody Reports
Lately I’ve noticed…some of my readers are concerned about me. Joyanna…chill..you can’t do anything about the world. You’re going to blow a gasket. You silly nobody…it’s not all that bad. Go outside and dig in your garden. 
I’m not sure how to take this. I will take it in a good way. The last thing we need in the world is another crazy blogger going into the debts of …seriousness.
Granted, they have a point. My mother had a massive stroke after Bill Clinton said one of his famous “I did not lie” on the TV. I am my mother’s daughter. It’s in my blood, and of course Nobody blames my mother..who could blame it on HER father, and HIS grandmother…all the way back to the instigators of ancestors who decided to throw perfectly good tea into the Boston Harbor. I just can’t help myself…SO. I have my work cut out for me. I have brown eyes…I need blue. (actually my eyes are…gray.) I could use violet ones, but Elizabeth has yet to will them to me. 
Tonight to prove that I’m not all that serious— I did check the clouds, to notice that according to our weatherman…tornadoes are coming. Do I give in to my natural proclivity to go into “Oh boy…what if a tornado hits my house, will some kid in Kansas find my Altas Shurgs book? Will he mail it back to me, damage and all?” With such powerful screwed up genetics this nobody can imagine any worse case scenario that you can dream of. I’ve often wanted to dial-up Steven Spielberg and say, “Hey Steve”—you want to make a REAL 3D movie? Take my dreams….nobody will believe it.” (Yes, I dream WAY too much.) I like the dreams where I redesign really cool houses with swimming pools going through the bedrooms…but I haven’t had those in some time. I had to STOP that.
For example: Today is February the 29th…all over the United States there are teenagers born on this day that have to wait to tomorrow to pass their drivers test. Do they feel lost? Special? Robbed? I don’t know, but I’d like to know. It’s means nothing at all to anything, but I’d still like to know.
And on this leap day, Mitt Romney was upset about Rick Santorum calling Democrats to go and vote for him in Michigan. Wuss. Russ Limbaugh in the last presidential primaries told everyone to vote for Hillary. We all know how well that turned out. If you have read me, then you know that I think that MITT was picked by the “rich” guys to be the nominee…and then we’ll see. Frankly…the thought of another 4 years of Obama has me almost to the point of wanting to start up a band of 90- year- olds, with a bass player that can tell dirty jokes. It would be the only way I could keep my sanity. I would name the band, “The Ageless Bunkerfucks” And I would play the drums, and sing old Donna Summer songs.: ‘I WIll SURVIVE“
(Rahm’s Missing finger) 
Here’s what I’m going to think is important tonight: Fingers. Look for politicians with all their fingers. Rahm Emanuel for example…is missing a finger. Henry Paulson, looks like HIS finger was mangled beyond recognition. I checked, Both Rich and Mitt still have their fingers.
I suggest, we watch those hands. Whomever goes missing a finger in the next year, is to be suspected of being ruled by the Mob, and they will be elected.
There…is that not serious enough? Okay. You’re welcomed. Don’t worry about me. I do enough worrying for the planet. YOU my readers should just sit back and go…
My god…thank goodness she worries, better she blow her gasket than me!
Nobody’s Perfect: Putin VS Jackson
Nobody’s Perfect:
It seems we have two men that desire to catch the virgins: The first guy, was arrested at a warehouse because he didn’t have any clothes on. 
When questioned, Jackson said he was at the warehouse catching up on work and was naked because he was hot. When officers took Jackson back to his workstation, presumably to get his clothes, they saw child pornography pulled up on his computer. Jackson apparently learned little from the July arrest since he was taken into custody three months later for standing in his garage, naked as children rode by on their bicycles.
Jackson (Kenny Clyde) has been sentenced to eighteen years where finding very young virgins to expose his naked body to is going to be a bit…hard.
The second guy, is a very famous man. Vladimir Putin is having a hard time convincing the Russian people that he needs to become their fearless leader. The wise and older people of the country have had about enough of him, so thousands have gathered in protest, in a ten-mile circle around the Kremlin.
So..what does Putin do? He goes after the “virgins.” Here’s his ad…sucking up to the young things. (see video above)
The girl (how old is she??) tells the fortune-teller that it will be her “first time.” “I see it will be for love,” responds the psychic, revealing a tarot card with Vladimir Putin’s image on it. The tag line: “Putin. The first time — only for love.
Gee…I’m not sure how to compare these two. Putin ego is a bit on the “over sexed” side….he’s always taking off his shirt, and trying to be supermasculine. I can’t imagine what he would do if he was in Jackson’s warehouse. But hey, to a liberal in America..this ad would be cool.
Jackson deserves to be in jail…and Putin should be right there with him…in the same cell. Some men are just sick, and no glimpse of perfect is ever going to come out of them.
Nevertheless..Putin has the power. Jackson power is all in his mind. Putin wins this weeks contest. Stay tuned for more examples of how imperfect man can really be. The possibilities are…limitless!
Obama’s New Theme Song…
Nobody Flashes
We need something to cheer us up, right? I can sincerely tell you that after I heard Obama suggest today that he wants us to promote algae as a new fuel source…and he was SERIOUS…I needed to have a cocktail. This video always makes me laugh. I am at this moment…drinking a glass of wine. I plan to save all the algae I see–collect it in a big box, and send it to Washington.
Here’s a Nobody’s Suggestion for Obama’s theme song. (I’m not so innocent)
If you haven’t seen Craig Ferguson, then your life is sad, and I strongly suggest you hang it up. Whatever you want to hang up. It won’t matter.
ENJOY!
And Now, A Word From Our Wonderful Sponcer….
Nobody Flashes
Nobody could watch this and NOT want to share it…unless of course, you are a Navy Seal under fire somewhere in Libya. Not only is this too cute…the women talking are typical…mothers.
Enjoy!
George Washington’s Little Black Book
Nobody Reports
It’s President’s Day...named after George Washington’s Birthday on the 22nd, but later people tried to get whatever favorite President they could in it.
I say…leave it to George.
Before George Washington became the great leader that he was…there was a real reason he was so loved. When he was younger, he carried a little book around with him called, “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior.” There are 110 rules in this book. Here’s a few of them:
******
Rule No. 2: When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body, not usually discovered.
Nobody Wonders: Imagine George Washington watching Michael Jackson singing “Beat it.” 
Rule No. 7: Put not off your clothes in the presence of others, nor go out your chamber half-dressed.
Nobody Wonders: Imagine George going to a strip club at Mardi Gras, or even seeing Barney Frank giving a speech on the floor of the Congress.
Rule No. 24: Do not laugh too much or too loud in public.
Rule No. 41: Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes, it savours of arrogance.
Nobody Wonders: Obama would have annoyed George to no ends. He lives and breathes it. 
Rule No. 57: Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your reputation: for it is better to be alone than in bad company.
Nobody Wonders: So..is that why Obama said he was asleep in Jeremiah Wright’s church all those year?
Rule No. 76: While you are talking, point not with your finger at him of whom you discourse nor approach too near him to whom you talk, especially to his face.
Nobody Says: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Rule No. 82: Undertake not what you cannot perform, but be careful to keep your promise.
Nobody Wonders what George Washington would think of any of today’s politician.
And my personal favorite
Rule No. 110: Labour to keep alive in your breast that little celestial fire called conscience.
And that’s what is missing from our leaders of today. The fire of conscience, was left upon the shining hill, stomped into mud, slashed with lies, covered with cash, and only comes out from under the rock, for brief moments, usually during elections.
Happy Birthday George! We wish you were here.
Never Judge a Book by its Numbers
Nobody Gets Email
Here’s an email which made me want to look for the sequel…Questions 3,4,5, and six. It’s called be careful what you don’t know…you might surprise even you! If I post pictures, you’ll know the answers right away…..so..guess.
(Thanks to Pattie)
ENJOY!
*****
TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS-SOME REAL FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
QUESTION 1—If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already three of who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
QUESTION 2—It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts…Here are the facts about the three candidates.
Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians and consults with astrologists. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, and sleeps until noon. Used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian. Doesn’t smoke. Drinks an occasional beer, and never committed adultery.
Which of these candidates would be our choice? Decide first.
Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
And by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
Pretty interesting isn’t it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Remember: amateurs built the ark: Professionals built the Titanic..
Three Lengendary American Making “jobs”
Nobody Gets Email
Sometime…just a few words puts the points across…. Three legendary Americans.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Hurry! A Valentine Gift For a Girl With a Pilot’s Heart…
Nobody Flashes
Hey! It doesn’t fly anymore, but you CAN bid for a three course dinner complete with this nifty looking guy to fill you up with bubbly for Valentine’s day!
The auction was put on by British Airways, starting at $800.
Hurry….it’s can’t have gone up much…(Lol!)
I’m tempted to go look for a pilot to seduce…
Happy Superbowl Wisdom From Larry the Cable Guy
Nobody Gets Email
“Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren’t smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can’t swim is a genius.”-
-Larry the Cable Guy
On this famous day…were Americans prove how very smart they are, by gathering in warm houses filled with enough food to last them through the spring if the country were attacked, I give you the wisdom of Larry…on of my favorite Americans. (Thanks to Pattie)
Enjoy! And save me a few of those hot dogs.
********************
Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida . .. .. . Not me — I concentrate on solutions for the problems — it’s a win-win situation.
* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq …. why don’t we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS (Nobody’s favorite)
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this — you cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’
‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.
Also, think about this ….. If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone — YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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