Obama Entertains With a New LGBT Song
Nobody Flashes
In order to give support to gay marriage, and every other kind of threesomes, or foursome, marriage, Obama called up the Village People for this very special picture where we see the President posing as the head chief.
He even make a big part of the Easter celebration at the White House, where they all performed the very popular song YMCA…with the changed letters…LGBT for this special occasion.
Young gay, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young les, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, transvestite, ’cause you’re in a new town’, You can all be trans- sex- u- als.
Young gay, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young les, when you’re short on your dough.
Come to the White House, and I’m sure you will find, many ways to have a good time.
I want you all to say: LGBT, It’s really fun to say, LGBT.
If you just say it loud, you’ll get the fans in the crowd, to help- to -change- our- nation.
I want you all to say: LGBT, it’s really fun to say, LGBT
You can dance in the streets, tell your grandpa to weep,
You can just all be happy..
Young gay, are you listening to me?
I said, young les, what do you want to be?
I said, transvestite, you can make real your dreams
But you got to know this one thing..
No man, does it all by himself,
I said young man put your pride on the shelf
And just join in, with the LGTB
And together we’ll all make history….
And if you all will say, LGBT,
Just change the word from gay to LGBT
You will have everything that the straight guys enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys …
It’s really fun to say LGBT,
And make a brighter day, LGBT
You can get yourself cleaned,
You can have a good meal, You can do whatever you feel …
(Okay, even an April Fool Joke gets old…sorry the song is MUCH too long.)
News on the Universe…Like it Really Matters…
Nobody Flashes
We have some updates on the universe….quick!
Closer scrutiny of radiation left over from the creation of the universe shows the Big Bang took place about 13.8 billion years ago, 100 million years earlier than previous estimates, scientists said on Thursday.
Nobody wants to know where they found this radiation, what kind of box do they have it in, and how SURE are they that the 100 million is the right figure? After all, they don’t even know what all that black dark matter stuff is. They don’t even know how we got Joe Biden as President…
Can we trust this? And more importantly, have they figured out yet who caused that Big Bang?
They also said this:
“We can see the subtle effects of gravitational pulls from literally everything in the universe.”
Yes, I see the subtle effects of gravitational pull every time I look in the mirror. And this guy gets big bucks to say stuff like this?
The good news is: we have another 100 million years to figure it all out.
Nobody’s Email: Conan Goes on Guinness Tour in Dublin
Nobody Gets Email
I KNOW you’ve done this before. I planned this afternoon’s video, and when I went to find it, it was…gone. I had words in my head about what I was going to say about it, and now, technology overwhelms me.
The good news is: Our minds have not been connected to the internet yet, so the aggravation of not being able to find a video is gone with a oatmeal cookie.
The bad news: If you don’t find Conan O’Brian funny, you won’t like this video. I’m not one of his biggest fans…I don’t find him very funny. He has that sort of dry humor that I guess appeals to many, but everytime I see him I keep wondering..OKAY…whose kid is he?
I kept picturing how Johnny Carson, or even Jay Leno would have been during this “tour.” BUT…having said that, if you can make it to the end, you learn from a pro..the proper way to drink a glass of beer.
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Email: A Fine Joke to Tell At the Pub on St. Patty’s Day!
Nobody Gets Email
Ah…it’s a wee bit o’ Irish luck I had to day, to geet a feeen joke about that blarney of a tooter, Nancy Pelosi on St. Patty’s Day! Remember lads and lasses to drive carefully on this lovely Irish spring of a day, and drink a toast to al’ de nobodies in the world, and be sure and tel ya local libby this heree joke for to tell at da pub!
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Clever Catholics-St. Nancy Pelosi!
Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C, an aide to the former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.”
Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”
The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”
As Pelosi’s aide promised, Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Nancy Pelosi was present. The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation,
“While Nancy Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some: the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are contrary to the tenets of the Church and she tends to flip- flop on many issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self -absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit- wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using he wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”
The Cardinal concluded, “But, when compared with President Obama, Nancy Pelosi is a saint.”
Dianne Feinstein says “It’s Legal to Hunt Humans” …
Nobody Gets Email
Here Dianne Feinstein says it’s “legal to hunt humans.” What did I miss? Are there hunting seasons for humans? When is it?
I have a few suggestions. How bout we put some signs up around the White House that says. “Hunting season is in!”
Come on! Good god.
Really? Did you know it was legal to hunt humans? Did she hear that from the “Commander in Chief?”
I can’t help but find this funny because the GOP chairman just said that the reason the Republicans keep losing is because they keep saying stupid stuff. Next to Maxine Waters and Dianne Feinstein, the GOP look practically as smart as fifth graders.
Really….and this woman has hired guns. I think we need to know if Dianne Feinstein allows everyone who works for her to hunt humans, and if it’s legal, then I guess we don’t even need guns anymore.
Knives work. Bad food. :Poison……I never thought I’d see the day when American’s were allowed to hunt humans.
Just think of UNCLE JOE’s Head, Mounted on your living room wall….
I think MS Feinstein is having some sort of menopause relapse. ( And they thought Todd Atkins was bad.)
(Thanks to Conservative)
Nobody Remembers Obama And Joe Biden As Kids
Nobody Remembers
Roger Ailes the top guy at FOX NEWS, has got a new book out about him, and it’s sure to be a best seller. Lots of quotes are coming out of it, and some not so nice about Joe Biden and Obama: 
From the Washington Times
The biography, by Zev Chafets, quotes Mr. Ailes as saying that President Obama “never worked a day in his life” and “never earned a penny that wasn’t public money.” The Fox News chief also derided the president for being “lazy” and playing too much golf and basketball.
Roger also had another great story about how Senator Obama once asked him to meet at a restaurant, where he tried to intimidate Mr. Ailes. It seems, Obama didn’t like what Hannity was saying about him, and wanted him to stop. Roger then told him not to worry about it, nobody who was a fan of Obama’s ever watched Hannity. (LOL!) Good answer. Obama got up and left. The reason this story is so important is that it shows the kind of arrogant man Obama is…he actaully thought he could get Roger Ailes to stop Hannity from saying anything against him.
This book is really going to upset the liberals, and Van Jones, the admitted communist, has already started the attacks:
“This is the kind of stuff that is really disgusting at the end of the day,” he said. “First of all, Barack Obama’s hair is white. He looks like the black Santa Claus shaved his beard off. You don’t go looking from Tiger Woods to looking like Morgan Freeman in three years if you’re not working hard. There’s a racial charge I think that some people find offensive.” Mr. Jones went on to imply a racial double-standard because “Nobody calls [House Speaker John] Boehner lazy,” because he said he plays golf four times more than the president.
Oh, that’s scientific for you: Work causes your hair to turn white. And here I thought it was hereditary. Gee…What makes you go bald then?
So, once again: Obama and his friends are going to play the race card…well Nobody Says…why not? Okay! Here’s some unknown footage I just found of Barak Obama and Joe Biden taken when they were just kids hanging out in the neighborhood, proving that even as kids, they wanted everything to be handed to them…for free. Yes, the seeds of greed and gluttony were there to see even as kids.
Nobody’s Perfect: The World Has Gone Mad
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, I have to sadly announce, that the politicians have done a very thorough job of driving good abiding citizens out of their ever-loving minds.
And here’s proof.
It seems no one in the entire planet can stand it anymore: unemployment, socialism, communism, Obama, or Michelle, the EU, the Feminists, the crazies, and especially Joe Biden.
Nevertheless, having said that, I think we CAN blame some of these rather obscene moves on the First Lady, who supports child sexual education in kindergarten, and moving as much as you can. We see here the many moves of the children of liberals who are being taught that having sex it the best thing to do with your time. Therefore practicing these moves is a good thing.
And having said THAT…Nobody Thinks that the Australian miners should NOT have been fired just for doing the Harlem Shake. Nothing was hurt. Where’s their sense of humor?
Really, the leaders of the world are driving us all insane.
How can anyone hold on to sanity when the world is being run by space cadets?
Enjoy. Nobody Wins the Nobody’s Perfect award this week. Fair warming…some of these guys are…probably drunk.
Nobody’s Email: Liberal Chick Is …Upset At Michelle Malkin
Nobody Gets Email
Wow….do ya think this liberal ‘chick’ smoked enough dope in her lifetime? Like hey dude…don’t disrespect Mom and Dad Obama. Really…this is some kind of time warp. I’m almost positive I met her at the Grateful Dead Concert in 1969. I have no idea how she has stayed looking so young! And to think: She has FANS.
When did headbands come back in style? What did I miss?
Beam me up Scottie.
And this is what she is upset about. The beautiful and brilliant Michelle Malkin is making fun of her mommy.
Oh…the nerve. It’s a good think Michelle didn’t ask me to be in the video..I’m afraid Liberal Chick would have demanded my arrest.
Kudo’s to Michelle. I hope she makes more…one a week would be nice. I’m not sure Liberal Chick knows what year it is, so it will drive her crazy.
Last Word On a Friday: American Zombies Not Welcomed In Canada
Nobody Flashes
And while Janet Napolitano prepares our police for Zombie attacks: The Canadians are already prepared.
Who says our govenment can’t be the laughing stock of the planet?
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Perfect: Jennifer Lawrence
Nobody’s Perfect
While everyone has forgotten last nights Oscars…there is one moment that will forever be remembered in everybody’s mind…the great fall of Jennifer (I’ve had a few) Lawrence.
Jennifer Lawrence won hearts when she tripped on the way up to the stage to collect her Oscar for Best Actress on Sunday night. When she finally got to the stage she said, “You guys are just standing up because I fell and you feel bad. That was embarrassing.”
But, just so you know…Jennifer has been practicing this move all her life. Here we see Jennifer as a small child, practicing for the moment, when one day, she would perform this very same move, in front of the whole world:
Nobody’s Perfect: Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers
Nobody’s Perfect:
Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers.
It’s not easy being green, or being the child of one of the most talented extortionist to ever walk in the halls of Congress, and Jesse Jackson Jr. in on the hot seat for not being a slick as his old man. He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Jesse Jackson Jr.’s father says the ex-congressman is under “tight medical supervision” after being charged with misusing campaign funds.
“He is struggling with the highs and lows of his bipolar disorder,” Jackson Sr., the civil rights leader, told the Chicago Tribune in a statement.
The younger Jackson was formally charged Friday with misusing $750,000 in campaign funds. Federal documents show Jackson bought memorabilia that once belonged to Michael Jackson, Bruce Lee, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. He is also charged with using the funds to buy children’s furniture and a gold-plated men’s Rolex watch.
It’s got to be depressing to know you just don’t have the same talent at stealing and hiding money as your old man. I’d be depressed too, if someone had found out that what I thought was Michael Jackson’s glove had really belonged to Al Jolson.
Jesse is facing jail time, but right now, I’m sure his father is advising him to shut up, and swear to be sick. “This is a storm; within time, storms pass over,” he said.
Leave it to Dad to come to the rescue. 
And then we have two brothers, who won the lottery and had a blast spending the money…
Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.
The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.
The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.
I’m not sure who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award this week, Jesse, or the two morons who blew up their house…but I’m sentimental. I think the two meth addicts had a disadvantage. They probably a fatherless childhood, unlike Jesse who HAD a dad, and all he had to do was watch the guy…and learn.
In the words of Bob Dylan, he was just “One too many mornings and a thousand miles behind.”
Jesse can only hope that he meets the two meth brothers someday in the same prison. Who knows WHAT they would do for a Rolex?
If Obama Were Emperor, He Would NEVER Have to Answer Another Phone Call…
Nobody Flashes
Last week I posted about Obama lamenting that he wasn’t an emperor. Well, for a pittance of what he spends on himself at our expense, next time he goes to China, he could buy himself an imperial bath, and PRETEND. Why not? Send Michelle to Spain again. Better yet, send her and the kids to Russia to look at that big hole. I don’t know about you, but I think Obama could get used to this kind of thing. In fact, if he IS going to become our emperor, we should insist he takes a spa bath everyday for at least 6 hours. Then he will always have a good excuse for not answering the phone, should any Americans be attacked ever again.
The Springs Hotel, at the Lushan Mountain County in central Henan province, China offers an imperial bath service, where one is treated like an Emperor. Recently, an unknown man from Shanxi spent over 100,000 Chinese Yuan ($16,000), for this imperial head soup service. The man was dressed up as one of China’s emperors from the country’s pre-Communist past. A group of women dressed as imperial concubines, waited on him, fed him bananas, and wine, while he bathed.
Nobody Gets Email: Dance to the SugarPlums in the Universe
Nobody Gets Email
I love this. I have one childhood memory that sticks out from all the rest. I must have been all of three years old, because in the memory, I was sitting in the backseat of my Dad’s car waiting in the dark to pick up my mom at some store. The family moved to Naples, Florida when I was four…so therefore, I had to be three…since it was here in St. Louis.
It was Christmas time, and we were parked in a parking lot, outside a Mall. My father was in the front seat, and my mom seemed to be taking a long time. I remember the backseat seemed as big as a boat, and I was curled up with my favorite blanket and gazing high up into the sky. Minutes before I had heard the, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” on the intercom outside, and asked about it, and I remember looking at my dad, and he told me the story of how all the toys in the Mall came alive and danced, to the music. I don’t know how he knew that, but I believed him, and my mind of course went crazy..picturing all the toys inside the mall…and what if I could locked inside for the night and watch them…oh boy, would mom and dad be mad? And oh boy…that was fun to think about that…and the music was like nothing I had ever heard before, because of course, my parents only listened to Benny Goodman. Dad must have seen it on Lawrence Welk because my grandmother always had that on every week.
It seemed we were there for hours, and I remember gazing up at the sky, and asking my father about the stars. I honestly think it was the first time I had really looked at them, and he must have told me there were millions and they were far away, and right away, I knew that I was the tiniest thing on the planet…no bigger than a grain of sand. It was at that moment that I realized this planet was tiny, I was even tineir…and it was the scariest thing imaginable. Maybe my father told me that…I don’t remember…BUT it put the most horrendous fear of how insignificant I was compared to that vast universe, that I hide under the blanket until mom got to the car. I was powerless. And if you think about it, my ‘Nobody” self is still under that blanket. (LOL!)
My love for music came from that moment I think. I became a musician, a dancer, and a lover of the stars. To this day, “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” is one of my favorite songs, and no matter WHERE I am when I hear it, I stop everything and listen to it all the way through.
Tchaikovsky suffered from deep depressions, and committed suicide. And yet, he left us a small universe of music….His star still shines in this little girl’s heart.
My first piano!
Somehow, music and the universe are meant to be one. Music IS math in so many ways.
My liberal friend just sent me an email..he was upset that in Texas they were thinking about teaching the kids about intelligent design along with evolution. Really, he was horrified. (He HAS no children of his own, and probably never will, being as he is 75.)
So I wrote him back and told him Einstein believed in intelligent design. (LOL!) And Einstein would agree, so many IQ’s…are lackig imagination. Without imagination, you are only halfway there.
Wait…Let’s make this complete: Here, close your eyes and picture yourself as that grain of sand in the vast universe and TELL me…this song doesn’t fit. I no longer hide under the blankets.
I just smile. And thankfully, I grew into my ears.
ENJOY! (Thanks to Ant)
Nobody’s Email: How to Get Rid of Telephone Solicitors
Nobody Gets Email
During the elections, I about went bananas with all the republicans calling me asking for donations. And they make it sound like if you do NOT send in money, the country will explode right before our eyes, along with every single thing you’ve ever held dear…like pizza on Friday night. 
I found these two helpful hints sort of fun, but if they don’t work, I have another solution that I use. When I get an annoying phone call…I sing as loud as I can:
“I’m just wild about Harry, and Harry’s wild about meeeeee..the heavenly blisses, from his kisses, keep me in ecstasy! He’s sweet just like chocolate candy, and just like honey from a beeeeee!!!
Oh I’m just wild about Harry, and HE“s just wild about, CANNOT live without, HE’s just wild about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
And I usually hear the CLICK right after BEEEEE…..
Try it! It works for me…
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Tips for Handling Telemarketers: Three little words that work…”Hold On Please…”
(1) Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s “beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. 
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a “real” sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call, and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system anymore!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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