Gay Women Are Fat…Who Knew?
Nobody Cares
Last week we found out, that our government cares more about Lesbians, then any of the rest of us, so much in fact, they deem it high on the lists of “things to take care of.” Lesbian FAT is a big concern:
CNSNews.com) – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance. It is now well-established that women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic.”
So…what’s the MOST important word in this sentence? “Minority.”
They want to find out why black gay women are so fat. It all comes down to race.
Could it be…go on…say it…”Food Stamps?”
If they find out that it’s caused by something psychological, in other words, they are bullied by people that don’t like gay people, so they eat more, so therefore anyone that makes fun of them for being gay or fat, which of course, is no fault of their own, will that person be fined? If you are fat and gay, will you get free gym memberships, and extra food stamps to spend at your local upscale whole foods market?
Will the taxpayers have to pay big bucks to get you in shape?
And WHY is it that the gay men are skinnier than everybody else? Could it be they are actually having MORE sex than the average Joe?
Well…there is one gay woman who can solve the problem
Ellen DeGeneres, and Michelle Obama, should get on these gay women…To get off their big butts and…dance.
You can dance anywhere, anytime, and it doesn’t cost the taxpayers one single penny.
But then again…they expect the gay lesbians to take over the world…so is it any wonder that Obama spent $1.5 million to study this national epidemic of fat gay women?
Nobody Thinks the heterosexual fat woman should sue the Feds for discrimination.
Really. This has gone too far: We, the heterosexual fat women of the world: UNITE! And demand our free memberships to Club Fitness.
Dianne Feinstein says “It’s Legal to Hunt Humans” …
Nobody Gets Email
Here Dianne Feinstein says it’s “legal to hunt humans.” What did I miss? Are there hunting seasons for humans? When is it?
I have a few suggestions. How bout we put some signs up around the White House that says. “Hunting season is in!”
Come on! Good god.
Really? Did you know it was legal to hunt humans? Did she hear that from the “Commander in Chief?”
I can’t help but find this funny because the GOP chairman just said that the reason the Republicans keep losing is because they keep saying stupid stuff. Next to Maxine Waters and Dianne Feinstein, the GOP look practically as smart as fifth graders.
Really….and this woman has hired guns. I think we need to know if Dianne Feinstein allows everyone who works for her to hunt humans, and if it’s legal, then I guess we don’t even need guns anymore.
Knives work. Bad food. :Poison……I never thought I’d see the day when American’s were allowed to hunt humans.
Just think of UNCLE JOE’s Head, Mounted on your living room wall….
I think MS Feinstein is having some sort of menopause relapse. ( And they thought Todd Atkins was bad.)
(Thanks to Conservative)
Nobody Remembers Obama And Joe Biden As Kids
Nobody Remembers
Roger Ailes the top guy at FOX NEWS, has got a new book out about him, and it’s sure to be a best seller. Lots of quotes are coming out of it, and some not so nice about Joe Biden and Obama: 
From the Washington Times
The biography, by Zev Chafets, quotes Mr. Ailes as saying that President Obama “never worked a day in his life” and “never earned a penny that wasn’t public money.” The Fox News chief also derided the president for being “lazy” and playing too much golf and basketball.
Roger also had another great story about how Senator Obama once asked him to meet at a restaurant, where he tried to intimidate Mr. Ailes. It seems, Obama didn’t like what Hannity was saying about him, and wanted him to stop. Roger then told him not to worry about it, nobody who was a fan of Obama’s ever watched Hannity. (LOL!) Good answer. Obama got up and left. The reason this story is so important is that it shows the kind of arrogant man Obama is…he actaully thought he could get Roger Ailes to stop Hannity from saying anything against him.
This book is really going to upset the liberals, and Van Jones, the admitted communist, has already started the attacks:
“This is the kind of stuff that is really disgusting at the end of the day,” he said. “First of all, Barack Obama’s hair is white. He looks like the black Santa Claus shaved his beard off. You don’t go looking from Tiger Woods to looking like Morgan Freeman in three years if you’re not working hard. There’s a racial charge I think that some people find offensive.” Mr. Jones went on to imply a racial double-standard because “Nobody calls [House Speaker John] Boehner lazy,” because he said he plays golf four times more than the president.
Oh, that’s scientific for you: Work causes your hair to turn white. And here I thought it was hereditary. Gee…What makes you go bald then?
So, once again: Obama and his friends are going to play the race card…well Nobody Says…why not? Okay! Here’s some unknown footage I just found of Barak Obama and Joe Biden taken when they were just kids hanging out in the neighborhood, proving that even as kids, they wanted everything to be handed to them…for free. Yes, the seeds of greed and gluttony were there to see even as kids.
Nobody’s Perfect: The World Has Gone Mad
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, I have to sadly announce, that the politicians have done a very thorough job of driving good abiding citizens out of their ever-loving minds.
And here’s proof.
It seems no one in the entire planet can stand it anymore: unemployment, socialism, communism, Obama, or Michelle, the EU, the Feminists, the crazies, and especially Joe Biden.
Nevertheless, having said that, I think we CAN blame some of these rather obscene moves on the First Lady, who supports child sexual education in kindergarten, and moving as much as you can. We see here the many moves of the children of liberals who are being taught that having sex it the best thing to do with your time. Therefore practicing these moves is a good thing.
And having said THAT…Nobody Thinks that the Australian miners should NOT have been fired just for doing the Harlem Shake. Nothing was hurt. Where’s their sense of humor?
Really, the leaders of the world are driving us all insane.
How can anyone hold on to sanity when the world is being run by space cadets?
Enjoy. Nobody Wins the Nobody’s Perfect award this week. Fair warming…some of these guys are…probably drunk.
Nobody’s Got a Beef With Cable TV
Nobody’s Opinion
“Irresponsible spending” …that’s all we’ve been hearing every day, for the last four years. If you are like me, and you are the one who takes care of all the household bills, you can’t help but be very angry when you see John Kerry give $250 million dollars to Egypt, while we here at home, are being forced by our government to cut corners. 
And today, I have certain complaint that just gets me going: How to keep paying for Cable TV?
I can remember when my dad bought our first TV set. It was black and white, and I was completely bored with it, although I do remember watching my brother, every Saturday morning, sitting in front of it…watching cartoons while he ate a whole pan of Sara’s Lee’s chocolate cake.
And no, he never got fat. Back then, kids were outside the whole day, running around in the woods. We’d go home for supper. And back out again until dark. Parents back then didn’t have to worry about the kids being picked up by child molesters, or getting shot on the corner. We lived in a America that was free, and most kids had both a mom and a dad.
Someday…all birth certificates will say: Origin: Lab at UCLA… (Warning…Do not mix with methane )
But..I’m getting off the subject: which is…TV. Back then, television, was FREE! And that’s why I’m using my blog to complain about what I feel is another rip-off of the majority of Americans.
I don’t remember when Cable Television really got going, but I have tried all the cable providers offered here in Missouri, and they ALL do the same thing. They give you a deal when you first sign up with them, and then tell you…not much else. And most people don’t think to ask. (Like me)
It doesn’t matter whether it’s DISH, Direct TV, CHARTER, or AT &T, they are all the same: And I’ve had them all.
And they ALL –rip you off.
Now, like most Americans, with every passing month, I am trying to cut corners..simply because, while wages haven’t gone up since Bill Clinton bombed a pill factory, everything else that you need for daily living has. And budgeting is almost a daily chore.
Not too long ago, I dragged my husband to the local bank to refinanced our car from 4.0 (Which is all the dealership would give us) down to 1.0,…and I was real proud of myself to find out I’d be saving over $50 dollars a month on our car payments.
But..then I got my Direct TV bill. It went from $76.00 to $95.00 in one statement. The savings that I was getting from refinancing, just disappeared. That’s just…BUGS me—especially when there is NO reason for the rate increase…no extra stations, it’s all the same…they just felt like raising it.
I called DIRECT TV.
“Why are my rates jumping up? I wasn’t told this would ever happen when I signed up!”
“Well, you have a DVR and your subscription is up.”“Okay…I had no idea I had a subscription.”
“Is this the last time…$95 is all I will ever pay?”
“Yes.”
(Sigh.) Here’s the problem. I know so many people who have figured out how to get free TV. They bounce off their neighbors, or they get HD antennas, and here I am going to be paying back up to $120 by next year, (Yes, I guess my 2nd subscription will be up by 2014) And I am paying twice the price in two years for the same service.
Every single cable company I have been with does this. Every single one. They let you slide for a year, then BAM. You’re screwed.
They do the same with cell phones.
Can somebody tell me what this is called? I can think of no other name but “rip-off.”
The very next day, after I was told that $95 would be the final price, I got a bill for $100.10
I called them up…
“Hey, the girl yesterday told me the price would never go up!”
“Well, in February the price of your DVR when up 3 dollars.”
“She said that was included in the price YESTERDAY!”
…..silence.
You see, what is so frustrating is: they don’t have to tell you a damn thing. You can quit if you like, they really don’t care.
I’m starting to wonder if I’d be happier to go back to being like it was when I was a kid. I hardly ever watched TV. And TV CAN be deadly. My mother had a stroke watching Bill Clinton, and my good friend Pattie told me she thinks that her husband suffered his heart attack due to the stress he was having with Charter. He had been fighting with them all day. To this day, she blames them for his early demise.
If that had happened to my husband, I would put his ashes on the mantle with a sign,
Here lies Charlie (not real name) killed by an encounter with Charter Communications.
I doubt if there is anyone in the country who has NOT gotten furious with a cable provider.
If so, speak up.
I’m not sure how to solve this problem, (all ideas are welcomed) but I am getting tired of the game. Somehow, 500 channels and more commercial time than actual program time s is getting old. There’s Netflix, I know, but I like to keep up on politics, and news, so I do want my cable. I love cable.
I just don’t like the lies, deception, and theft.
But then again…aren’t we all getting used to getting ripped off?
Nobody’s Email: Liberal Chick Is …Upset At Michelle Malkin
Nobody Gets Email
Wow….do ya think this liberal ‘chick’ smoked enough dope in her lifetime? Like hey dude…don’t disrespect Mom and Dad Obama. Really…this is some kind of time warp. I’m almost positive I met her at the Grateful Dead Concert in 1969. I have no idea how she has stayed looking so young! And to think: She has FANS.
When did headbands come back in style? What did I miss?
Beam me up Scottie.
And this is what she is upset about. The beautiful and brilliant Michelle Malkin is making fun of her mommy.
Oh…the nerve. It’s a good think Michelle didn’t ask me to be in the video..I’m afraid Liberal Chick would have demanded my arrest.
Kudo’s to Michelle. I hope she makes more…one a week would be nice. I’m not sure Liberal Chick knows what year it is, so it will drive her crazy.
Last Word On a Friday: American Zombies Not Welcomed In Canada
Nobody Flashes
And while Janet Napolitano prepares our police for Zombie attacks: The Canadians are already prepared.
Who says our govenment can’t be the laughing stock of the planet?
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Perfect: Jennifer Lawrence
Nobody’s Perfect
While everyone has forgotten last nights Oscars…there is one moment that will forever be remembered in everybody’s mind…the great fall of Jennifer (I’ve had a few) Lawrence.
Jennifer Lawrence won hearts when she tripped on the way up to the stage to collect her Oscar for Best Actress on Sunday night. When she finally got to the stage she said, “You guys are just standing up because I fell and you feel bad. That was embarrassing.”
But, just so you know…Jennifer has been practicing this move all her life. Here we see Jennifer as a small child, practicing for the moment, when one day, she would perform this very same move, in front of the whole world:
King Put Makes Another Speech
Nobody Wins
You have to hand it to the Democrats. Day after day, they all stay on message:
It’s those men rich Republicans that are destroying the middle class. Why, according to Obama’s last speech, if the Congress doesn’t let him get rid of the loopholes he wants…(translation, taxes) the middle class will fall so far off the face of the earth, China won’t recognize any of them when they fall through the earth and come climbing out of the hole on the other side. 
Once again, he put the FEAR of Armageddon, into every man and women listening: mother’s dying, babies not going to school, teachers will be out of work and will have to buy shotguns to keep the unemployed Pentagon workers from their front porch. No more vaccines, No more aircraft carriers, no more FBI. Even longer lines, and more assaults at the airports…
And he will have to cut some of his vacations..
Wait. He didn’t say that.
Of course, it’s Obama that is putting the final nail, the last burrito, the last bite into the ever dwindling, fast disappearing, soon to be history, middle class— but he so cleverly blames the other guys.
He is so ABOVE us all…playing golf with Tiger Woods, while his wife vacations in Aspen, holding up airspace…lunching with bigwigs in the Oil business…
Sharing the best prostitutes money can buy with Tiger after hours.
What? You think Tiger has stopped the sex addiction? Doesn’t Obama play golf with a man who was busted for prostitution? Remember Bobby Titcomb? Does a President play with a man busted for a prostitution ring because he likes the way the guy plays golf?
Wait. He couldn’t have done that! If Obama and Tiger were having a private party with prostitutes why the press would be all over it! Just like they were all over John Kennedy and all his daily afternoon prostitutes, right?
And the Republicans just can’t seem to muster even a few spitballs. John Boehner did try to take a blow at Obama, but he did it in the Wall Street Journal.
( Okay, just how many WORKING Americans read the Wall Street Journal?)
Boehner said in a Wall Street Journal editorial that Republicans already have compromised on their side, sending to Obama significant tax hikes for Americans.
“The president got his higher taxes – $600 billion from higher earners, with no spending cuts – at the end of 2012. He also got higher taxes via Obamacare. Meanwhile, no one should be talking about raising taxes when the government is still paying people to play videogames, giving folks free cell phones, and buying $47,000 cigarette-smoking machines,” he wrote.
And Rush said THIS:
“The ultimate objective of all of this is to spend MORE. The ultimate objective of all of this is to frighten everybody everywhere about what will happen if you cut a DIME from the federal budget,” Limbaugh said. “This is all about moving the ball forward under the premise that the government must grow and continue to grow if you are to have any chance in life at all. … The secondary objective is for Obama to continue to be seen as the outsider, not governing, he’s the outsider campaigning, trying to prevent this disaster, when in truth, it’s his policies that are causing it.”
And Rand Paul said THIS:
“I mean, for goodness sakes, it was his proposal. He proposed the sequester, it was his idea. He signed it into law, now he’s going to tell us that, ‘Oh, it’s all our fault?’” Paul said. “I voted against the sequester because I didn’t think it was enough.”
Strong stuff…true stuff, and yet, Obama goes on vacation…and comes back, to give a speech and says,
“I will never sign a plan that harms the middle class”
Yeah…spoken like a true King Put.
Nobody’s Perfect: Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers
Nobody’s Perfect:
Jesse Jackson Jr. VS the Meth Brothers.
It’s not easy being green, or being the child of one of the most talented extortionist to ever walk in the halls of Congress, and Jesse Jackson Jr. in on the hot seat for not being a slick as his old man. He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Jesse Jackson Jr.’s father says the ex-congressman is under “tight medical supervision” after being charged with misusing campaign funds.
“He is struggling with the highs and lows of his bipolar disorder,” Jackson Sr., the civil rights leader, told the Chicago Tribune in a statement.
The younger Jackson was formally charged Friday with misusing $750,000 in campaign funds. Federal documents show Jackson bought memorabilia that once belonged to Michael Jackson, Bruce Lee, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. He is also charged with using the funds to buy children’s furniture and a gold-plated men’s Rolex watch.
It’s got to be depressing to know you just don’t have the same talent at stealing and hiding money as your old man. I’d be depressed too, if someone had found out that what I thought was Michael Jackson’s glove had really belonged to Al Jolson.
Jesse is facing jail time, but right now, I’m sure his father is advising him to shut up, and swear to be sick. “This is a storm; within time, storms pass over,” he said.
Leave it to Dad to come to the rescue. 
And then we have two brothers, who won the lottery and had a blast spending the money…
Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.
The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.
The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.
I’m not sure who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award this week, Jesse, or the two morons who blew up their house…but I’m sentimental. I think the two meth addicts had a disadvantage. They probably a fatherless childhood, unlike Jesse who HAD a dad, and all he had to do was watch the guy…and learn.
In the words of Bob Dylan, he was just “One too many mornings and a thousand miles behind.”
Jesse can only hope that he meets the two meth brothers someday in the same prison. Who knows WHAT they would do for a Rolex?
If Obama Were Emperor, He Would NEVER Have to Answer Another Phone Call…
Nobody Flashes
Last week I posted about Obama lamenting that he wasn’t an emperor. Well, for a pittance of what he spends on himself at our expense, next time he goes to China, he could buy himself an imperial bath, and PRETEND. Why not? Send Michelle to Spain again. Better yet, send her and the kids to Russia to look at that big hole. I don’t know about you, but I think Obama could get used to this kind of thing. In fact, if he IS going to become our emperor, we should insist he takes a spa bath everyday for at least 6 hours. Then he will always have a good excuse for not answering the phone, should any Americans be attacked ever again.
The Springs Hotel, at the Lushan Mountain County in central Henan province, China offers an imperial bath service, where one is treated like an Emperor. Recently, an unknown man from Shanxi spent over 100,000 Chinese Yuan ($16,000), for this imperial head soup service. The man was dressed up as one of China’s emperors from the country’s pre-Communist past. A group of women dressed as imperial concubines, waited on him, fed him bananas, and wine, while he bathed.
Nobody Gets Email: Dance to the SugarPlums in the Universe
Nobody Gets Email
I love this. I have one childhood memory that sticks out from all the rest. I must have been all of three years old, because in the memory, I was sitting in the backseat of my Dad’s car waiting in the dark to pick up my mom at some store. The family moved to Naples, Florida when I was four…so therefore, I had to be three…since it was here in St. Louis.
It was Christmas time, and we were parked in a parking lot, outside a Mall. My father was in the front seat, and my mom seemed to be taking a long time. I remember the backseat seemed as big as a boat, and I was curled up with my favorite blanket and gazing high up into the sky. Minutes before I had heard the, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” on the intercom outside, and asked about it, and I remember looking at my dad, and he told me the story of how all the toys in the Mall came alive and danced, to the music. I don’t know how he knew that, but I believed him, and my mind of course went crazy..picturing all the toys inside the mall…and what if I could locked inside for the night and watch them…oh boy, would mom and dad be mad? And oh boy…that was fun to think about that…and the music was like nothing I had ever heard before, because of course, my parents only listened to Benny Goodman. Dad must have seen it on Lawrence Welk because my grandmother always had that on every week.
It seemed we were there for hours, and I remember gazing up at the sky, and asking my father about the stars. I honestly think it was the first time I had really looked at them, and he must have told me there were millions and they were far away, and right away, I knew that I was the tiniest thing on the planet…no bigger than a grain of sand. It was at that moment that I realized this planet was tiny, I was even tineir…and it was the scariest thing imaginable. Maybe my father told me that…I don’t remember…BUT it put the most horrendous fear of how insignificant I was compared to that vast universe, that I hide under the blanket until mom got to the car. I was powerless. And if you think about it, my ‘Nobody” self is still under that blanket. (LOL!)
My love for music came from that moment I think. I became a musician, a dancer, and a lover of the stars. To this day, “The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” is one of my favorite songs, and no matter WHERE I am when I hear it, I stop everything and listen to it all the way through.
Tchaikovsky suffered from deep depressions, and committed suicide. And yet, he left us a small universe of music….His star still shines in this little girl’s heart.
My first piano!
Somehow, music and the universe are meant to be one. Music IS math in so many ways.
My liberal friend just sent me an email..he was upset that in Texas they were thinking about teaching the kids about intelligent design along with evolution. Really, he was horrified. (He HAS no children of his own, and probably never will, being as he is 75.)
So I wrote him back and told him Einstein believed in intelligent design. (LOL!) And Einstein would agree, so many IQ’s…are lackig imagination. Without imagination, you are only halfway there.
Wait…Let’s make this complete: Here, close your eyes and picture yourself as that grain of sand in the vast universe and TELL me…this song doesn’t fit. I no longer hide under the blankets.
I just smile. And thankfully, I grew into my ears.
ENJOY! (Thanks to Ant)
Nobody’s Email: How to Get Rid of Telephone Solicitors
Nobody Gets Email
During the elections, I about went bananas with all the republicans calling me asking for donations. And they make it sound like if you do NOT send in money, the country will explode right before our eyes, along with every single thing you’ve ever held dear…like pizza on Friday night. 
I found these two helpful hints sort of fun, but if they don’t work, I have another solution that I use. When I get an annoying phone call…I sing as loud as I can:
“I’m just wild about Harry, and Harry’s wild about meeeeee..the heavenly blisses, from his kisses, keep me in ecstasy! He’s sweet just like chocolate candy, and just like honey from a beeeeee!!!
Oh I’m just wild about Harry, and HE“s just wild about, CANNOT live without, HE’s just wild about Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
And I usually hear the CLICK right after BEEEEE…..
Try it! It works for me…
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Tips for Handling Telemarketers: Three little words that work…”Hold On Please…”
(1) Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s “beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting. 
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a “real” sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call, and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system anymore!
Obama Sadly Discovers He is Not Emperor of the United States….
Nobody Gets Email
I can’t stop laughing at this one..where Obama tries to convince a poor Latino girl,—- if he were Emperor, all her dreams would come true…
But sadly, he is supposed to enforce the law on the books.
Poor man.
(Thanks to Floyd)
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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